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Need Help Answering One of "Those" Questions to 4 Year Old

My son recently asked me how he came out of my belly? I said we went to the Dr and he helped take you out. Then he asked if the Dr. cut him out of my tummy. The answer would have been very simple had I had a c-section. I always try to be honest with my kids. But, with this question, I am struggling with an answer that's appropriate for a 4 year old boy. The correct answer in my opinion is way TMI for a 4YO boy. Any advice?

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Thanks so much for all of your responses. I appreciate the feedback and your answers have totally helped! When the question comes up again, I will definitely feel much more comfortable and confident in my response!

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I don't think there's anything wrong with the correct answer. You don't have to get graphic or give the entire sex talk. I told my 4 year old boy that ladies have a special area in their private parts that opens and lets the baby come out. When he asked how babies got in bellies I told him when two people loved each other, and decided they wanted a child, they got very close so a baby would start growing. That was enough for right now!

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Why would telling him the simple truth be too much information? It's human biology. Unless you have a problem with him knowing about vaginas and that you have one. ;-)

Always keep answers simple and specific to what is being asked, and use the correct biological terms. He's not asking about sex and how to have it, he's asking about how he was born. It's good practice for the "where do babies come from" and later, "how are babies made" questions.

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My daughter asked the same question when I was pregnant with my third. She had just turned 4 and wondered how the baby was going to come out of my belly. I told her the truth. That the baby was growing in a sack called the uterus; that it was like a big waterballoon that kept the baby safe. And just like a balloon, there was an opening called the vagina (which she already knew about). And when the baby was ready to be born, mama has to push real hard to get the baby to come out, like taking a big poop. She asked if it hurts and I said that it did, but as soon as the baby is born it stops hurting.

She giggled a few times and basically said 'that's weird'. Then she rolled over and fell asleep :o)

Just be honest but keep it simple and age appropriate. I'm sure once you answer him, he'll move on to something else quite quickly.

6 moms found this helpful

I'd be honest and just tell him Mommies have place down there by where your pee comes out and that's where babies come out and it's called the "birth canal". That way he wont be talking about your VAGINA in walmart :)

4 moms found this helpful

With mine, I start young with them. lol Every year on their birthdays, before we can have presents or cake or anything like that, their Daddy and I tell the story of their birth. They've all come to love this part of the ritual, and look forward to it (to the point that if I'm busy and go to get the cake out they'll say "Mommy, we haven't had our story!").

Of course, this is in simplified terms. I've always explained that babies aren't in Mommy's tummy, but inside a part of me called my womb, and I explain that it's a very special part that God created JUST to keep babies safe while they grow. Only Mommy's have wombs. Daddy's have other special parts that help make the baby, before it grows.

Then I explain that when a Mommy and Daddy love each other very much they sometimes make a baby. God made men and women different so they could fit together just right to create babies.

That usually satisfies them for a while, and when they get older, I get a little more detailed and a little more technical with each time they ask. Of course, with my one son he wanted to know RIGHT NOW how the baby got there in the first place and how it got out again. So his father and I explained it to him (he was almost five) in a fairly clinical fashion. When we were done he was silent and then he said "WELL if that's how I got to be here then I'm glad I don't remember it!". LOL

Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful

I don't think there's anything wrong with the correct answer. You don't have to get graphic or give the entire sex talk. I told my 4 year old boy that ladies have a special area in their private parts that opens and lets the baby come out. When he asked how babies got in bellies I told him when two people loved each other, and decided they wanted a child, they got very close so a baby would start growing. That was enough for right now!

3 moms found this helpful

"There is a special passage for a baby to come out."

Next question: "Where is it?"

"It's between the mama's legs. It's a passage from the womb, where you were growing and living, so that you could come out when you were ready to live and breath and eat all on your own."

You can decide how much you want to add, depending on his continued questions. Children generally ask questions geared precisely to what they want to know, so you can stay pretty general. Let his questions lead you.

3 moms found this helpful

Yes I agree with the posters that suggested simplicity and honesty, using the correct terms. I don't think you want to tell any child that babies come from an opening where your pee comes out :). My dad is an OB/GYN and my mom a psychologist and I was a very informed child. I think I knew where babies came from at a young age, but i was also told that it's the job of mommies and daddies to tell their children about that. So if I heard stories about storks, I had to keep my mouth shut! My daughter is 5 and she asked about where babies came from even before we had her little brother. We said when mommies and daddies loved each other, god gave them a baby. She's been satisfied with that answer. She's know from a very young age that she has a vagina, that it is very special bc girls only have them, and that when she's older, that's where babies come out. I've seen her pretend to have a baby and "push" it out. I think it is just as important to educate little boys. The attitude you have and the way you talk about your body will help influence how he sees women when he's older. For example, breastfeeding in front of your children, particularly sons, shows them that breasts are not just sexual objects. I think that's very important in this day and age, where the media oversexualizes everything. So don't be embarrassed and use this as an educational opportunity with your son! Teach him how marvelous women are and that creating life is a normal process - and our bodies are different but all beautiful. He'll be a better man for it! Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

here's a responce from another mom, on another website back in 2008:

"Well, if you would have asked me how I would PLAN to tell my 3 1/2 year old and how I actually DID.... It would be two different stories. My 3 year old son asks SO MANY QUESTIONS... And after I answer it, he has a question about that... and so on and so forth. So after trying to gently dodge the question, I just blurted it out. It was something very close to this once it got started....

ME "Mommy will push the baby out"

SON "From where"

ME "Mommy has a special place where the baby comes out. Like this (and I simulated a very clean looking fake push" and just pointed to that area.)
I was inwardly mortified ;-)

So to my great surprise he said "oh" and then "Where is the baby now?"
I said "In mommy's belly"

So then I went on to explain that when God gives us a baby - he gives it a special place in my belly to grow and I went into basic detail about how it starts "this big" and kind of faked an explanation how it gets bigger and bigger... how it has to grow up, arms grow, gets hair, nose gets bigger, gets all 10 fingers & toes....until it's ready to come out.

Then I said when it's time for the baby to come, mommy gets a big tummy ache and that's when mommy knows it's time for the baby to come. I said it hurts a little - but not too bad. I told him that mommy will have contractions and gave an exagerated squeeze on my belly that made him laugh and said each contractions makes the baby move down farther until it's about here (and I pointed to the lowest part of my belly.... and when it's down far enough, mommy pushes it out.

He was very satisfied with the explanation and didn't ask any more questions.

I did follow it up (because he's a little boy) with that the baby comes out gooooooopy and we had a fun laugh over that. But seriously... the more I just give my son straight answers whether it's about how a clock works, how birth happens or why it rains... he is satisfied and soaks it in. I can't believe how much information kids retain! I think there is an age of innocense where they don't process things with the knowledge & imagry that we have and it's not embarassing for them as it might be for us.
The one draw back is now he will say sometimes "Mommy... are you going to push the baby out today?" in front of somebody and I wonder what they think... :-)

Good luck finding the right solution to your question... I hope you find something that works well for you."

2 moms found this helpful

Good luck, you sound like you have a sharp one on your hands! I would just say the Dr helps the babies come out in a lot of ways and then change the subject. I too don't like to lie to kids but I am a big fan of distracting and deflecting.

Also, I have a friend who swears by the rule answer any question with a question or at most one sentence. I think this is tiring but she has great luck with it. So if her 4 yr old asked if Dr cut baby out of tummy, she would say something like "I was so excited I don't remember. What do you think Doctors do?" and then just listen. She gets some really funny and interesting answers from her kids this way.

Best of luck to you.....

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