Need Help - Euless, TX

M.,
My little girl did the same thing when she was 2. I didn't know what to do. Then my husband, who works with children, told me that kids try all kinds of different things to get a reaction. He told me that they literally try one thing after the other until they get a certain reaction. They aren't looking for positive or negative attention in particular. They're just looking for attention in general. He told me not to react at all when she did it. Once I stopped reacting, she hit herself on two more occasions, and she's never done it since. She has not had reason to hit herself because it no longer generates a response from me.

M., look for a book called "Try and Make Me". My son used to do the same thing (he's 10 now) and that book helped me a lot in learning how to deal with him and his anger.
Good luck!
C.

M.,
Does your child have any other issues like not wanting to touch certain things? Do you know if he has sensory issues? Does he point at objects? There are a few reasons he may be hitting his head. You may want to call ECI Early Childhood Intervention and have them help you.

I think if it were me,and I have a 5 and an 8 year old,I would stay away from walls for sure to start!! My 8 year old is a very strong willed child and I have seen her,in the past,try to hurt herself like this.
Although age 2 is still very young and it could just be bad tantrums right now. But my daughter can still get very angry when things don't go her way.I have to ignore alot of what she does because it is to get my attention.
But as I said before he is just 2 so I wouldn't worry too much and keep him away from walls if possible especially when he gets angry!!
Best of luck to you all!!!!

--M. ____@____.com

p.s -Feel free to e-mail me if you want some more details or info about a strong willed child.

Ignore it! By giving him attention when he's doing it your enabling the behavior.

Children crave attention. Negative or positive. I would instead do a story time with JUST him. I know it's hard with 2 kids but some alone time will make a difference!

My daughter did this when she was 18 months. It is certainly tantrum behavior. I found it very disturbing. Although her pediatrician said she would not hit her head hard enough to really hurt herself, I was not convinced and I would make her stop. I blocked her head from the object with my hand or a pillow (wall, floor) and told her to stop banging her head. I would say I know you are mad but you can not bang your head.
Don’t worry; some kids just express their frustration very physically until they are more verbal.
This will pass. Good luck.

I was a child that smashed my head into things and then had a child who did the same thing. I gently restrained him when he was in a temper and spoke calmly. If he was too wild, I just put my hand down where he was banging at, usually the sidewalk, and let him vent without hurting himself. He will grow out of it and it is not uncommon. I usually found that when I held him and held his arms gently, that he fought against me and vented the same energy. He needs some kind of resistance to expell the frustration.

Anger management...he may need some medication. There is something going on there. I have a daughter 15 yrs old. When she gets mad she throws things. She had some issues that she kept to herself instead of talking them out. It builds up and sometimes you can be mad about one thing but the aggression of the hidden issues come out as well. I would seek a professionals opinion.... My prayers will be with you.

My son does the same thing. I asked the doctor if it was fine and she said it is normal for children at their age, mainly for boys. They do it because this is a time in their life when they are taking in so much information that it is frustrating when something doesnt work the way they want it to or the way they think it should. He is perfectly fine, and if he is not crying when he does it then it is not hurting him.

My granddaughter went through that last year when she was two.

At first we were very upset and tried to get her to stop. Then we just told her to stop doing that. Then we noticed that she started bringing her blankie with her and laying it down on the floor in front of her and banging her head on it. The whole phase didn't last very long though. Instead of making a show of how upset she was to get her way, she started bonking her head and ended up crying for real. She got tired of hurting herself and stopped doing it.

Now she's into throwing things when she's angry. She also screams, "I'm not talking to you!"

It's all a part of learning to handle your emotions and exploring what different emotions are all about.

My granddaughter did that really bad I would pick here up and go to the bathroom and shut the door and hold her till she settled down all the while telling her every time she did it this is what would happen she stop after a little while and when she would start to do it she would look at me and shake her head no
good luck

If he is verbal, I would insist that he use his words before you give him what he wants. If he's not verbal, put pictures of things he commonly wants into a book - you might even do this is he is verbal just to help him. Hold his arms down by his side, ensure that he is looking at you and tell him you cannot help him until he uses his words or his book. If he chooses the book, don't just say "Okay, you want a cup of milk" - ask him "Do you want this? What is it?" Give him an opportunity to use language, and quickly help him if he still cannot do it for whatever reason - but always give him that option.

If he's throwing things, take them away, and don't give them back until the following day. Toys are to be played with appropriately or they are lost. If he is beating his head on things, IGNORE HIM. Even if it looks like he is going to knock himself out. If you give it even one glance, he'll continue because he'll know he is getting your attention. The only attention he gets when he acts this way is you giving him the option to use words or communicate with the help of his book.

Some ideas for the book are the cover a Cheerios box, a juice label or a picture of a bottle of juice or his favorite cup, a diaper, a picture of your yard or the park, TV, a video, etc. Let him know that you are running the farm - If he requests cookies for breakfast, that is not appropriate and you always have the option of saying NO, NOT NOW, but that might be a good snack later today.

I am in my 9th year of dealing with a very difficult little boy who also went through a period where he beat his head on things and threw large objects my way. Set boundaries and never ever ever break them. I think the really smart kids are sometimes the toughest!

Good luck!

I would call ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) and get hime checked out. I've heard of Autistic kids doing that at an older age, I'm not saying he is Autustic. ECI will do a thorough evaluation to see if there is any type of delays or anything else going on that could be causing his behavior to be like this. The evaluation is free and if he needs any services like therapy then they go thru your insurance company and you pay on a sliding scale based on your income. It takes a little while to get ECI to come out, they are swamped. They are great and are helping us with one of our Foster Children.

My 2 1/2 year old has never banged his head on the wall, he has layed down on the ground and kicked his feet and swung his arms. He's hit and pulled hair and kicked us. He's definitely going thru the Terrible Two's!
Do your other kids do it too? Is it a learned behavior from his siblings? I would see if you could get him alone for ahile and see if he does it with just you nearby. See if that changes anything. He could need some alone time and is having difficulty dealing with the other siblings.

I'd love this advice sent to me as well. I have a 17 month old that sometimes does this same thing. It drives us nuts to see him doing that. He doesn't hit his head hard, but he does do it. Crazy to think that he would do that....but surely there is a reason for it, and a solution as you said.

I am anxious for the responses.
~S.
www.workathomeunited.com/SheilaP
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I did the same thing at his age when I didn't get my way. It does not indicate he will always have anger issues as I am extremly hard to get angry- you almost have to set out to intentionally make me angry. Mom said I stopped when I did it on our concrete patio. I didn't injure myself, but it hurt enough to teach me that I should find other ways of expressing myself. I'm NOT suggesting you try for that to happen- my point is that he will likely find new ways of communicating frustration soon- I'd be more concerned if he is still doing this by age 4. Ask your ped, and try using dolls (action figures- whatever) to show him new ideas on how to express or deal with anger.

Honestly, this really is not uncommon and generally nothing to really worry about. I'm guessing like the other mom said about hers, your son probably doesn't do this very hard. It's a way that he shows his frustration when he really lacks the ability to verbalize what he is feeling. I watch a toddler who sometimes does the same thing - never very hard, she just seems to be trying to get a response. Deal with it as you would any tantrum - often ignoring can be the best thing in the heat of the moment when a child is unlikely to really hear what you are saying anyway, and try to figure out and understand what is frustrating him, what he is trying to communicate to you. But he is unlikely to really hurt himself doing this.

I don't care what anybody says this is not a normal reaction to frustration. This baby is frustrated beyond belief and his only thought is to hurt himself. It will eventually go away. My son is 9 now and did this as a baby. BUT I wish someone had told me to get him checked out, because the younger you help the better. ECI, in my experiance, does not help with sensory issues AT ALL!!!! Sensory is my first suggestions because it is rather common and it is fixable. You will have to spend some money on it though. Check out Excel Pediatric Therapy in Rockwall because they are the best. I searched and searched and people always seem to end up there for the solutions! :) Good luck and I am so happy that you are willing to look into this while he is young and moldable! :)