Need Etiquette Advice!

I would just tell her "Thank you so much for passing those clothes my way. Unfortunately, they just don't fit me quite right. Do you want them back or should I pass them on to someone else?"

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I would probably not say anything unless she mentions it and hold onto them until she fits into them again for her. If she asked, I'd say they didn't fit quite right and not mention the too big part. It also depends on your friend.She may react differently or appreciate a different response to the situation. You know her better than we do, so perhaps asking someone who knows her better (a mutual friend) would be a good idea.

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How about instead of saying they were too big, you can say they didn't fit quite right. Maybe they were too big in the bust area, or under the arm - more about the way it fit you specifically instead of they are all just too big. A good friend will be happy for you, but you don't want to purposly hurt her feelings. Another approach would be to say something like. I've tried on the clothes and a few were great, but most didn't fit quite right. I'm really working on only keeping things in my closet that I truly love and that fit really well. Would you like them back or would you like me to give them to goodwill?

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I believe honesty is still the best policy. Just tell her they truth; I'm sure she can handle it. Just tell her you really don't want the clothes to go to waste and that if she doesn't want them, you would rather see them go to someone who could really use them than to just sit and not be worn. That isn't bragging at all; it is just being honest.

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I would suggest you just pack them away for a few months and wait until she gets down to that size. Then you can give them back to her as a congratulations on your loss gesture. If she asks how they fit, just say fine. She may never ask so don't worry over it.

If she doesn't get back down to the size, then you can get rid of them. Most people don't want their old clothes back after giving them away. If I lose weight, it is always a great excuse to buy more clothes! :)

Good for you for being able to work out! Keep it up!

If it were me I wouldn't say anything unless she asked but if she asks you should be honest with her.

I would hang on to the clothes, and when she asks tell her, "Those are your perfect goal - I can't in good conscience make them mine." If she insists, tell her - they have a gap in the back when I sit down (or something) - she doesn't have to know they have a gap in the back no matter what.

S.

I would tell her more about body shape than size. You can say they didn't fit you in the stride or the hips. Or for a top you can say the bust or shoulders. No matter what size we are, everyone is always shaped differently. I hope that helps and congratulations!

Wait a few days to call and thank her again for her gift. Explain what she gave you does not fit properly and that you feel uncomfortable passing them off to someone else without her knowing that. Another suggestion for her is to offer her gift to a consignment store or women's shelter.

If its a problem just dont say anything unless she asks.
If she asks then be honest and tell her that you loved them but they didnt fit so you gave them to so and so because you knew she didnt want them anymore.

I think Jessica's advice was the best! Don't say anything on your own but if she does ask don't lie. Just say that they didn't quite fit YOUR BODY TYPE. Surely her boobs or butt is bigger than yours and you can even say you're a little jealous of that. Then tell her you'll keep them for her for when she reaches that size.

Try them on with her ask her what she thinks, if ya'll are working out together she can surely see you change your clothes!

Tell her thanks and get them altered. If they are good quality the cost will be worth it.

A good friend always tells the truth! "Thank you for the clothes. It really bothers me to tell you this but the clothes are too big. Would you like them back or pass them on to someone else. I was scared to tell you, I didn't want to hurt our friendship"

Some very good advice I've heard is just because something is true, doesn't mean it needs to be said. Honesty is always good, but not at the risk of hurting someone's feelings (especially about something so trivial). I'm not saying lie, it just may not even be brought up. I don't think it's appropriate to give them back and if it is brought up i'd just say something like 'they didn't fit right, but in a month I bet you'll get back into them'. Just a thought.

Honesty is the best way to go. Tell her you are surprised you have lost more than you thought and they don't fit and maybe they should be given to someone else and who would she like to pass them along to, as tey are beautiful and should not be wasted. It is OK to tell her your concern of hurting her feelings and you care for her if you detect hurt. Good friends can laugh together at these sorts of things.

Be kind but be honest! Especially if this is really your friend. Donate the clothes to Goodwill or some charity. The thing that I value most in my real friends is that we can be truthful and honest with each other no matter what. Sometimes the truth is not what we want to hear but it is what we need to hear. Be supportive.

The best thing to do is put them in an airtoght zip lock, or storage box, and you wait until she CAN fit into them, and give them back to her as a gft. She will LOVE the fact that she can fit into them, and if youjust say" they were a little too big for me!" she will appreciate you holding on to them

Don't tell her they are too big for you. You could kindly return them and just tell her they are beautiful clothes and wished they fit you better. If she presses, then I guess you could tell her the truth. I just think vague at first is better.

Hey Girl! Congrats on your success! Only wish I was in the same boat!

I agree that it could hurt her self confidence and suggest that you tell her that the clothes just didn't fit your body type right or either that they were just too small for you too.

If they are nice things that someone else you know might enjoy, ask her if it would be OK with her if you shared some of the lovely things she gave you with someone else. If you don't know anyone specifically, tell her the items did not fit (you don't need to be specific about the reason they did not fit) but that they are too lovely to remain unused and ask if she would mind if you donated them to the women's shelter (or any other charitable place of your choice) where they would surely be appreciated. And thank her for thinking of you. I give things away all the time that are too small for me. It doesn't hurt my feelings at all when my tiny little friends are even smaller than I think they are, I just want someone to get some use out of the things I can no longer use.

Hi, I would donate them to a charity or give them back and tell her you tried them on and they did not work. I think its important to always be honest. if she never sees you wearing them she will get her feelings hurt so its best to tell her they were to big and you wont be able to use them so does she want you to donate them or maybe she would want to put them in a garage sale.

HTH
A. J

Dear T. - Thank your friend for the clothes and smile. That's all. DON'T say anything else. That's it. The hardest thing will be to keep your mouth shut and not say ANYTHING else.

T.--I am in the same boat frequently. I have a long time friend (almost 30 years). We've been close friends since high school. We are about the same height, but not the same weight or shape. I am a work out fanatic and wear about a size 6 or 8 depending on what it is. She wears a 16, but for some reason she thinks we're the same size. Whenever she buys something for herself, she'll buy one for me---the same size! While I am so flattered that my friend thinks of me often, I have a difficult time telling her it doesn't fit. The one time I did, she said take it to a tailor. Well, to take a $12 blouse to a tailor to fit me for another $15-$20 didn't make sense. What I've learned is that I just say thank you and then pass it on.

I think it really depends on your friendship and you know her personality more than anyone and how she would react. You probably know what's best. Truth is always the best policy, but trust me, people who are overweight know they are and don't need someone telling them "the truth" about their weight. My friend doesn't really see herself has heavier than me. It makes her happy, so I would rather she be happy.

My opinion is this...
She is already aware that you are smaller than her or she would not have offered you the clothes. I realize it may be uncomfortable telling her they are to big as that may discourage her. As a good friend though it should make her proud of you and motivated herself. If it were me that had loaned you the clothes I would be more offended if you didn't say anything and I never saw you wear the stuff I gave you. It would make me wonder why...Does she not like my clothes and she just took them to be nice? I would rather have them back so I can donate them or give then to someone else that would wear and appreciate them.
You could try this approach if you don't want to just come out and say they are to big for you- "You know I was thinking about this. We have been working out together to lose weight and are seeing results. I am convinced you will be able to fit into these clothes in no time. I am going to insist you take them back as motivators. We will try them on you once a week to see your progress."

Here's advice coming from a girl who has had clothes in her closet ranging from a size 0 to size 14: don't say anything unless she asks. If she asks how they fit, I would say sweetly, "They are just a little too big for me. I'll hold onto them, though, so we'll have them for when you reach your goal!"

Tell her the truth. If she's a friend, she'll totally understand. Apparently, she not paying attention to your size because if she were, she would have known the her discarded clothing would not fit your physic.

Good luck.

I've always believed in honesty being the best policy. You don't have to say they were too big, just say they didn't work out or they didn't flatter you. I also like to resell all of my clothes, so if I gave them to a friend and they didn't work out, I would like to have them back so I could sell them.

This is one of those times when friendship is tested. If you see your friendship as enjoyable and you would like to continue and deepen the friendship, then I would be truthful with her. Also if you conscious bothers you, that would be another reason to fess up. You sound like a very sensitive person, just be kind and honest. It's just me, but I would feel very anxious holding on to the clothes without leveling with her first. B.

T. why are you apologizing for your success. You may inspire her to her own greatness and weight loss. We shoud never apologize for reaching or achieving our goals.

T., I would be honest & give the clothes back. You can explain it that you could both lose the same amount of weight but not lose it in the same places. Tell her you are upset because they were very nice & you are disappointed that they don't fit. Tell her don't lose faith, put them up until she can get back into them. You aren't bragging you are being very considerate & hope it comes across that way. Best of Luck & Congratulations on your hard work but glad you are making it fun.
:} R.

can you afford to take them to a tailor? Free clothes seems like a worthy investment.

I read your "What happened" and thought you came up with a great solution! You go, girl!

A.