Need All the Encouragement, I Can Get. Unplanned Pregnancy.

One of my friends has 4 children. They had to do fertility treatments to conceive the first one, the rest came "naturally". She had a C-section each time.

Of the 4, the oldest two are on the spectrum, the third is in speech therapy, and the 4th is too young to be diagnosed with anything (yet).

Their home is filled with laughter and love and each child thrives in his/her own way.

They have times they have felt overwhelmed, but, ultimately, they would not trade their lives for anything in the world.

Their children are special and wonderfully unique - as are their parents.

You don't need to explain anything to anybody. You will cope through the pregnancy because it is what we do. We, you, everyone, has untapped abilities that surface when they are needed. You are stronger than you think - so is your husband - so are your children.

Consider this child to be a blessing - with that low of a conception rate - I really think this pregnancy was meant to be. :)

Many hugs to you and yours.

Whenever I hear about pregnancies like this that occur against all odds, I think wow, this baby must really be meant to be here! You can do it-it will be hard at times but you 'll do what moms do-you'll just do it. As far as what others people think of you, I think it will depend on how you give the news. Once you have time to adjust to this, if you present it to others as "an amazing gift" versus "omg I can't believe this happened" I think it will shape how others see it. Good luck and hang in there- you'll be ok!

A very good friend of mine had an accidental 4th pregnancy. Her hubby didn't talk to her for a week. He was so upset.

This baby is their blessing. They are so busy they don't know what to do with themselves, but as my friend likes to say, "the baby is the easy part, the others would be driving me crazy anyway, but at least I have this sweet baby." Her baby is turning into a toddler, and they are both still thrilled. I look at my friend's hubby and know he is madly in love with their 4th boy.

it sounds as if the bottom line is that you want this baby, it's other people's reactions that worry you the most. and of course, your dh.
your dh's is the only one that matters.
i'm so glad you have a myriad of choices available to you. you'll pick the best one for you, and that blessed calm will continue and turn into joy. with occasional spikes of panic.<G>
congratulations!
:) khairete
S.

First other peoples reactions are their opinion. If you are happy then let what they say slide off your back.

I am 40 years old and I have three siblings one is 32 the others are 21 and 18... Plus a 16 year that was placed for adoption. When my mom had my 32 year old sister she had some pretty bad complications and was told that she would never be able to get pregnant and if she did she would not be able to carry them to term.

She and her boyfriend had tried for years and years, nothing every happened and she moved on in life, and I never got the brother I always wanted :)

Imagine her surprise when I was 18 years old she is told congratulations! Oh and then for me to tell her when she was 5 months along...congrat's you are going to be a grandma lol

When my sister was born (still no brother) they told her to count her lucky stars cause they don't know how she carried her to term. Bwahaha she get's pregnant 2 more times and I finally get my brothers. However, my mom was in a really bad place at the time so she did give the youngest boy up for adoption. I didn't like it, but it was the right choice and it was open so we have contact with him.

So my kids are 21, 20, 20, 18, 11, 8, 6 and 2
Siblings are 32, 21, 18 and 16.

You can do it and who cares what others think or say.

The last thing in the world you need to focus on right now is what other people may think. Don't worry about 'them,' worry about you.

If you have a loving, supportive husband, you are SO, SO far ahead of the game, you have no idea.

I think once the shock, the surprise, wears off, you will be in a better, more grounded place than you are now. Everything is will alright. I am cheering for you!

You need to take care of yourself and your family. Beyond that, you don't owe anyone any kind of explanation. A simple, "we've received an unexpected blessing" should really suffice.

Things will work out, and you'll manage. Even though moms tend to put themselves last when they're so busy with the kids, try to take care of yourself. Eat properly, get to bed early as often as possible, exercise. If you do these things, you'll find it easier to take care of your other kids during the pregnancy, and you'll have a healthier and less stressful pregnancy.

I'm sure your husband will be accepting after he processes this news. My husband was not pleased when I got pregnant for the third time, but he came around and now can't imagine our lives w/out our youngest.

As for the people who will judge, you don't owe anyone an explanation. I know of a woman in a similar situation, and she would just say "I guess God had other plans".

Best wishes!

I wonder how many women find out they are expecting and immediately think, "Oh, no!" I'm sure it's a very high number. But life is full of surprises. This new little person might very well surprise you by bringing a lot of joy to your family.

No, you don't need a disclaimer! You don't need to apologize. You're thinking, "How will other people treat me for being pregnant?" My relatives didn't think much of me for being pregnant when I was. Some folks can announce, "We're having a baby!" and expect joy from their families and friends. That's the storybook scenario. But we're related to people to whom *not* getting pregnant was considered a blessing, and having another baby indicated not only irresponsibility but also absolute stupidity. It was just a matter of telling them, period, matter-of-fact, no-response-necessary, certainly not expecting anything else of them, and not asking for anything from them. (Sometimes it was a matter of telling them as late as possible. That was do-able because they lived at a distance from us.) What they wanted to think was their problem; it sure wasn't going to be mine! I was too busy raising a family.

It could be that your husband's "over-optimism" will allay your fears. He will be able to balance out your apprehensions.

If your worries are unstoppable, may I suggest that you call your nearest pro-life pregnancy center and talk to a counselor? Pregnancy centers aren't just for teenage girls. You'd be surprised how many married women (with non-abusive husbands!) contact a pro-life center because they just need to talk with someone sympathetic to their pregnancy. There is surely such a center in Indianapolis, at least. You will find a lot of encouragement there.

And congratulations on your baby! Consider yourself hugged by this mama of four (and grandma of six).

Take all of this one day at a time. Try to find extra moments to gently connect with your husband. You don't have to tell anyone else about the pregnancy until it's confirmed by your doctors not to be ectopic, but viable.

As everyone below suggested, if all is well, do try to enjoy your pregnancy. If it helps, have a few simple "pat answers" in mind for any "Oh, I can't believe it!" comments. Your positive attitude will help others in how they perceive this. Enjoy the calm you have right now, take it step by step and hope for the best.

Congratulations.:)

I have 2. I wish I had 3. 4 would be awesome. 6 would be a dream. It's too late for me I think, unless God wills it.
I'd take an adopted kid whose 8 at this point! But DH doesn't want that.

This is a blessing.

Seek help. If you were my neighbor, I'd pitch in and help you.

Pregnancy is hard. Is there anyone you know who you trust who can help????

Some Christian churches have Special Needs ministries. Seek them out (if you are religious).

Don't sweat other people's reactions. Some people are judgmental, others are not. That's their problem/burden, not yours. Enjoy the blessings you have.

Calmness is good. Focus on that. Take it one day at a time. Don't rush ahead and fill yourself with anxiety.

My mom use to tell me "everything happens for a reason". Good or bad, this was always her response to us. Sometimes it was tough to hear but she was always right and usually good things came out of what, we thought at the time, was a bad moment. I pray that everything goes well for you. I have two. I wanted 5, my husband wanted 10!!! We have two. They are both beautiful and perfect, to us, but still wonder why us? Be excited you may have another. Just when u think u cant get any busier.... No matter how full we get, we can always find room for one more sweet. :)

I think you take the test to your great, optimistic guy and let him help you find the silver lining. If you are religious, you can tell people God had other plans or simply shrug and say "life is what happens when you make other plans" or "miracles happen" or even just "surprise!". You don't need to explain your case file to someone who is judging you.

On Roseanne, Rosie told DJ that he's not a mistake. He's a surprise. A surprise is something you didn't know you wanted til you got it.

Enjoy your surprise pregnancy. I hope all turns out well for your family.

You've totally got this, no problem. Your husband may be more ok with this than you might think. God would never put more on us than we can handle and he must think that you can handle at least one more kid.
I wouldn't worry about what other people think. they don't walk in your shoes every day. If they have a problem then tell them to bite your big toe. No one needs an explanation. Nobody is perfect. there will always be judgemental buttinskys in this world.
good Luck, I hope everything goes well for you and your family.

You sound ready for this baby. Your husband will be fine too. I just get that feeling. Do not worry about what people say. If they say "again" just say yes we are so blessed. Hope all goes well for you and your family.

Yeeah that mini pill... I think I might be prego too and I was on that... anywho... sounds like your a pro by now! =) stop worrying. Everything will work out. If someone has time to sit their and judge your life then they are bored with their own and are secretly jealous of yours!!!! =) tell them to get a hobby! Also you shouldn't need to be nervous telling your hubby. You didn't get pregnant on your own and no matter what the dr says and what kind of BC we are or aren't using we all know theirs a chance to get pregnant...also if I had a dime for everytime I had a doctor that was wrong I would be rich by now! =P you'll be ok! God Bless

It is no one's business but yours, and I would limit any contact with anyone who is negative in any way about your situation...you do NOT need such people in your life. I am saying this for the benefit of your family's well-being and for your mental health. Maybe if more people would eliminate negative people from their lives, those who always have to "put their two cents worth in" would learn to think before they speak about that which is none of their business!
I am happy for you!

You can do it. Let your husband celebrate this miracle with you. You two will get through this one day at a time together, he might surprise you. Also for all those nosy people just look at them and smile and if you think they need a comment just say "well you know birth control is not 100% effective" and leave it at that.

Congratulations! I would think that it's meant to be. And, don't worry about what other people think, it's your immediate family that counts. Not sure if you're religious at all but I remember before getting married the deacon talking to us about being open to any children that God blesses you with. So think of it as a blessing. Wishing you the best.