Need Advice/support on Bottle/breast Feeding

Oh lord, here come the breast feeding bullies that will tell you not to quit and that you can do it if you just try harder...

My son was formula fed. I had some complications with birth that prevented my milk from coming in properly...blah blah blah...long story. Bottom line, he's FINE. He's extremely healthy, never had an ear infection, only a handful of colds (he's 2).

Formula is just fine to give him. And if it makes him AND you happier and better rested, then you're doing the both of you a favor! You're not a bad mom for making this change, and you're not a failure. You're doing what's best for you and your child. Please don't second guess yourself.

Plus, you've given him 3 mos of breastmilk already, which is a GREAT foundation for his little immune system. Good job!

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Why on earth would you feel guilty? Your son is hungry. He likes the formula. Do what's best for you and your son. Let go of that unfounded guilt.

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Stress can really hit your milk supply! I had major problems with my first, she had a weight loss crisis at 5 weeks and with supplementing never got back onto the breast. I felt like a total failure. However all the stress in my life and about her gaining weight dried me up very quick, not to mention she was needing formula so nursing less. Just a recipe for disaster.

Now, if your son is 3 months it sounds like he's going through a growth spurt, and I know with my 2nd I seem to be running on empty for a few days before the body catches up with her demand. So keep drinking lots of fluids and try some fenugreek capsules (that helps me really quickly, like in about 12 hours). Don't start adding formula-that will make you produce less, just keep nursing, your body will get it together. He's probably just a really hungry guy. My 8 month old still wants to eat every 2 hours if she's awake, adding solids hasn't made much of a difference, though she is sleeping through the night.

Also formula can be very constipating, so try to avoid having to use it. That was one thing I really beat myself up about with my first.

Best wishes!

You are not alone! With my first son, he was born hungry! At the hospital when he was born they had a respitory specialist come in to check his lungs b/c he was crying so much; he suggested giving my son a little bit of formula to see if that helped...and he was right, he was just a very hungry baby! I had the same problems as you until I switched pediatricians and he told me at four months that I had to give him cereal. The minute I did, he was a very happy and content baby! I still nursed him until he was 14 months old but I had to give him "extras" just to keep him happy and content.

Sometimes mother nature likes to play tricks on us and makes us a little nutty or thinking we did something wrong...when in all, we've done everything right. Don't feel ashamed at all, you are doing a great job!

Take care and good luck!

He could be going through a growth spurt and trying to up your milk supply. If you're giving formula, and not pumping too it could be negating his efforts. Hang in there, and if you have to switch to formula it's ok. If breastfeeding is what you really want, now is the time to think of all the reasons you wanted to do so. We all know that breastfeeding isn't a piece of cake, especially when sleep deprived. You could try exclusivily breastfeed (at least at night) for a week and see if that makes a difference. There are also supplements (herbal) that you can take to help with your supply...check the la leche website. one is fenugreek seed.

He might be going through a growth spurt, if this has been going on for about a week or so...
Otherwise, if your child is otherwise healthy and you can offer a bm bottle at night - I know, it's more work, - try adding a little cereal.
Also, you'll know if you're not producing enough milk and he's still hungry if he's nursed for a while and starts to cry at breast. To up your bm supply, drink more water and pump more often and have someone else take care of some of the night feedings so you can sleep.
All the best!

First you're not a failure if you switch to formula. But it sounds like you don't want to, that you're instead feeling insecure.

If you want to breastfeed then follow through and do it. You NEED rest!! You NEED to schudle some rest into your day. You don't mention how old your other children are but can you schedule a nap at the same time every day for everyone? What about your husband? Can he take over during periods of time so that you can get rest?

He's probably going through a growth spurt right now too which will cause him to wake up more and eat more frequently so you may be producing enough for him he's just hungry more often.

Don't doubt yourself!! You are an amazing mother who's priorties are in the right place. You just need to find the time for REST!!!!

Breastmilk is the best thing for your baby and if you can find the rest you need you'll continue to be successful. If your still thinking of switching to formula remember it's not always easier or better time management. There are A LOT of bottles to wash. I wish you the best of luck in however you choose to go...either way your son is getting the best of you...your love!!

It is a big circle...the less you nurse, the less milk you will have. He is fuller longer with the formula because formula is harder to digest and takes longer so he doesn't feel hungry as quickly. Of course the more you do working, taking care of two other sweeties stresses your system, making the milk-making more difficult. I would bring him in bed with me and nurse him whenever he is hungry. At three months he is probably on "a grow". His needs a greater and if you supplement with the bottle, you won't have enough milk because your body thinks he doesn't need it....around and around. I would put the formula away and nurse as often as possible. If you bring him in your bed, all you have to do is plug him in and go back to sleep.

hang in there! sounds very familiar to me---

When I went back to work, I continued to breastfeed exclusively when I was with my daughter and pump regularly when I was away. However, I found it less stressful to leave a formula bottle along with the pumped milk with the caregiver and know that if needed my daughter could drink both and then I was less stressed about the amount I was pumping ...

I also found my daughter wanted to 'stock-up' on milk at night sometimes... and I would attempt to try to make it more comfortable for me (nursing somewhere that if I dozed off it was ok) so that she could nurse often if needed

I found a lot of nursing support from the Dr Sears books and website www.askdrsears.com

yes, definitely growth spurt. there are recepies for lactation cookies on line and numerous other ingredients that helped me. when i wasn't producing enough, i realized i wasn't eating hardly anything. i simply forgot because he was waking every hour at night and i was drained! make sure you are taking in at least 2500 calories a day and at least 2 liters of water. i know work and bf is very stressful, but it can be a very successful and rewarding achievement, mine was and it came w/ all of your pain. if you want to produce more, pump after you nurse; you may not get anything but it will stimulate your production to make more the next round. and in the end, you can keep doing both formula and bm, it doesn't just have to be one or the other. i met a mom who bf at home and daycare used formula, baby had no problem w/ that. just take it day to day instead of looking 10 months down the road. good luck and congrats on the new one.

What about pumping your breastmilk? Thats what I do with my twins. They never caught onto breastfeeding so I just pump. That way I know how much they are getting plus they are getting all the benefits from breast milk. If you start to pump you will know how much you are making since you think it may not be as much as before. Even if you just pump for his nighttime feeding.....

I would bet he's going through a growth spurt. Formula isn't digested as quickly and that's why he feels full for longer after formula. Your body works on supply and demand. The more he nurses, the more milk you'll produce. I would bet that your supply is just fine, he's just digesting it fast and growing at the same time. You're not a failure if you have to use formula. Just remember, if you use formula instead of nursing, you'll make less milk. Less milk means baby isn't getting as much he'll be hungry. If you do decide to go the formula route, by the store brand. It's about 1/2 the price of name brand formula and has the same ingredients. For bottles, use the Playtex Drop Ins. You can get the inserts fairly cheaply if you buy store brand. You only need about 3 bottles.

My son was a big boy and did the same thing as yours. I gave him a little bit of cereal in the morning and at night and that did the trick. Still breastfed, just needed a little bit more to hold him over. My ped said that once the baby doubles his/her weight, it is ok to start cereal. Give it a try if you are ok with it. Personally, I would not give up on breastfeeding though.

I didn't read the rest of the replies... I can only imagine what they say. Both of my kids were breastfed but at about 3 1/2 months I started giving some cereal. I know what some pediatricians say. Mine said it was just fine and it was exactly what they needed. I continued to breastfeed and they got that little bit extra they were wanting. good luck!

I understand how you feel about giving up breast feeding. There are the "breast-is-best" women who will make you feel awful for feeding your child even a drop of formula, and then those who didn't even try to breast-feed who get defensive from the other side. But most of us fall somewhere in the middle.

You don't have to give up breast-feeding if you don't want to, even if your son isn't getting enough milk. I was forced to supplement my breast-feeding with formula from day one because of production issues, but I continued to breast-feed as long as I produced milk (about 6 months). Talk to your doctor or pediatrician about increasing your milk flow (there are supposedly ways to do it, although none worked for me), but until that happens (or in case it doesn't), feed your son from the breast until it is empty/he gets fussy when eating. Then feed him formula in a bottle. This way, he always gets breast milk when he is hungriest and drinks as much as he can, but if he is still hungry after you're done, he can fill the rest of his tummy with formula. I think you'll find that he'll sleep better as long as his tummy is full.

Increase how often you pump and drink a lot of water. When giving him the bottle of milk you have pumped, once again, give him the milk first and if he finishes a full bottle, then give him the formula (you can mix it in the same bottle). Every single drop of breast milk is like liquid gold, so even if you can't exclusively breastfeed your baby, or even if breast milk doesn't make up most of his diet, try to keep as much breastmilk in his diet as possible. This method will help you save money on formula and know that your child is getting all the breast-milk you are producing, plus a little extra. It's hard work, but knowing your child is getting enough to eat will help with the stress you're feeling. Having formula to fall back on helped me to relax about breast feeding and know that I was doing the best I could, and I was still giving my son all those good anti-bodies. Good luck.

I would say to drink a HUGE glass of water (10-12oz)about 90 minutes, another at 60 minutes and another at 30 minutes before you nurse him for the last time before bed. By doing this you can make sure you are making enough milk for him. If you are pumping, you might try drinking a 10-12 oz glass a water an hour before pumping, to just try and increase the milk you are creating. I know with my daughter, I drank the extra water and i noticed a difference in the milk supply within a few day.

Depending on how long he is nursing when he is nursing, you may try to pump for 5-10 minutes after each session to get your body to make more milk. I had to do that when i first started nursing, as my milk supply was low, but it did work. Because your body is knowing that you need more milk so it will supply more.

If it comes down to you need to do a bottle, you can always do just one bottle a day and make that the night time feeding. So then you won't need any more bottles, and won't go through as much formula. But you could always mix the formula with the pumped milk to go through even less.

Another thought would be to try him on cereal. You could always as your doctor to be sure it's ok, but I know a lot of doctor's say at around 4 months you can put them on cereal. If you do that just before bed, that will help his belly be fuller and help him stay asleep. With cereal you won't need the formula at all.

Good luck

As you know, kids go through growth stages. 3 months is a big one! My kids both did it, and it's not fun when you feel like you are somehow letting them down.

Something that I did was pump. I would feed my son and then use a manual pump to try and keep up supply and "bank" milk for later. The pump was only about $25 or so at Target and came with bottles. It really worked for us.

Some other things to try: oatmeal, Mother's Milk tea, and some natural herbs to increase milk supply. I forget which ones, but I'm sure that others will have a good idea what they are. Also, make sure that you are drinking plenty of water!

If your milk supply needs a boost.. try fenugreek..I am not a fan of herbs.. but my growing son seemed to need more milk and fenugreek really increases supply but it at a health food store..

it is hard to maintain a milk supply if you work full time - pumping is not fun..

but it is worth it to continue to breastfeed.. best for the baby.. the health benefits last for years.

so try drinking more water,, try fenugreek.. and he is probably growing and wanting to eat more..

What I would do first before making the complete switch is pump a few times to see how much milk you are actually producing and supplement with formula because it may just be a growth spirt. My milk never really came in and I eventually made the switch to formula completely at 1 month after supplementing since birth. As guilty as I felt and as much of a failure as I felt, it didn't out way the guilt I felt after I realized I was starving my baby. She didn't gain weight her first month, actually she lost over a pound since birth and she cried all the time and never slept. After making the complete switch her weight increased and she was the happiest baby I've ever seen. I know formula is expensive, but I found it worth it to feed my child. I got the playtex drop ins and worked with only 5 bottles. With the drop in liners cleaning is a breeze and you don't need as many bottles. Target makes a liner that fits great and is 1/2 the price of the Playtex ones. If you think going to bottle/formula feeding is what's best for you baby, do it and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it. Breast-feeding does not work for everyone all the time.

DO NOT feel like a failure. Bottle/formula fed babies are perfectly healthy and happy. What does effect them most is being hungry or having an exhausted mom. I say it you are ready for bottles and he seems happier on them, go for it! You can still feed him if you like sometimes or pump. My sister made herself miserable trying to breastfeed when it wasn't working well for her or her daughter. She stopped at two months and the entire familyh was happier!!! As long as he's fed and most importantly loved, you are doing a great job!

Don't feel like a failure! See if you can get a referral to a lactation consultant. They can help you figure out what might be going on, how to increase production, etc. The hospital or your ob/gyn might be able to connect you to a few people. Good luck!

I am so totally FOR breastfeeding that it's hard for me to even consider your idea of switching to a bottle of formula although that's what I did with my first two when I had to work and pumps were unheard of back then (60's). I think you need to look at the whole picture with your little one. It is definitely not the easiest thing to breastfeed when you are working, but many, many women do it and I've never heard of anyone who regretted it. Maybe they just wouldn't tell me - I don't know. When you work, your baby will tend to want to feed more when you're home. They're pretty smart that way. Your baby is still young but moving toward a time when adding some solids while you're gone will be workable. Having other children makes breastfeeding an even better idea from my perspective. If you're nursing less, you will make less milk. Also the stress. There are lots of ways to increase your milk supply but the best way is to nurse on demand. You can look at the LaLeche League website www.llli.org under Resources then go into the Answer section. There's a lot of info on working and also on helping your milk supply. Have you ever considered attending an LLL meeting? There are both evening and daytime meetings in many areas. Don't know where you live. You can locate these on the website as well. The support you'd find is awesome!

3 months is a common growth spurt time when babies just can't seem to get enough until your milk supply catches up, by the way. Don't get discouraged. Some babies of working moms like to "cluster feed" and the sitting down and relaxing actually could be your new best friend! Look at this long-term from your baby's perspective and see what you think. Whatever you decide, don't feel that you've failed. Being a mother is a hard job especially when you have to work. You sound like a very loving mom to me!

Happy Mothers Day!
G.

Sounds like a growth spurt to me. And sure he'll seem happier with a bottle because bottle feeding is easier for baby. Try watching his cues. Could be that he is getting too hungry prior to a nursing session and then he is wild with hunger and it makes it tough for him to nurse.

Be confident in your ability to nurse him! Don't doubt your supply. And while pumping is a good idea please, please, please don't base your ideas about your supply on what you pump. Baby is far more efficient than a pump will ever be.

You have a lot on your plate. Make nursing your time to destress and take in baby since you are working and have other children. Make that your down time.

The expense alone of switching to formula and bottles would be enough to stress me out too! I know it's a very personal decision but I could never imagine making the switch. My babies used nursing for so many beneficial things that I just couldn't imagine giving up-the comfort, the closeness, the illness prevention.

Best to you and baby!

I would stick to your guns and continue to breastfeed. I also would think if the by is 3 months old it is probably doing a growth spurt and may need extra for the week and than go back if you can't put on demand the breast than supplement but than remmeber there goes your supply. Its all about supply and demand its your choice. If you really feel that strongly about it switch or do one instead of the other. But I know from experience this is how i feel formula is definatly thicker and can screw up the digestine going back and forth the breast milk is thinner and not so thick so it doesn't last as long to run and is easier ont he system. Thats why babies on formula are more satisfied. Good luck use your gut to make the decisions.