Need Advice: Preschooler Difficulty with Bowel Movements

Hi S.,
Both of my girls had this trouble at one point or another. Aside from Miralax and Mineral Oil in liberal doses, what resolved this for us was when I observed that they needed to poop, I'd sit them on the potty and make them stay there (physically holding them there) until they went. I noticed that they would try and "hold it in" by standing up and squeezing their little butts (jeez, the things you talk about as a mom!), and they can't do that if they are sitting down. Also, once they get the hang of pooping in the potty, you're home free on potty training.

For us it took a day or two of pooping on the potty before they got the hang of it. From what I've observed, there have been no lasting effects with either of my daughters (people told me that I shouldn't force the issue because it would scar them for life, but that has not been the case.) Good luck!

Hi S.!

Potty training is SO DARN HARD AND EMOTIONAL!

Both of my boys "held it" until the last possible second because they hated going. I just let them "figure it out" for themselves. I tried so hard NOT to say any "reminders", or make any "hints", but to let them figure it out.

Even when my oldest went to Kindergarten at age 5 1/2, I was scared to death about him being "potty perfect" at school. But after a regular schedule evolved for him because of school, his body naturally put him on a poo-poo clock. At age 11, he now goes regularly everyday~well, that I know of :o).

I would take the diaper away FOREVER and let him "hide", let him "wait", let him "cleanup himself", let him do all those things we moms usually help out with. He WILL learn how to mastery the potty, it just takes time :o)

Hang in there! Love, N.

Let him use Pull-ups. They are less like a diaper.

Hi S.,

Is he drinking a lot of water? Is it filtered? I found that giving my granddaughter piwater along with barley jade greenzymes helps her with bowel movements.

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Good luck to you.

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N. Marie

Hi S.,

I feel for you!!! My son went through the exact same thing. He just started pooping on the potty about 2 weeks ago!! It is a very long story....but I NEVER thought we would make it through. I was very frusttated and felt like we tried everything. He is 4 and has been pee trained for about a year. He too would not poop on the potty. In the beginning he would wait until nap time or night time when he had a diaper on and poop then. Then it came to the point where he didn't need a diaper for those times anymore. He would start to ask for a diaper. I tried to get him to sit on the potty and tried many different methods....but nothing worked. He would get all upset and so would I. He would hold it for days. So the dr. told me to back off and started him on a stool softener. I did slowly get him to move from only pooping in diapers to pooping in a pull-up in the bathroom (easier to get on and off). He refused pull-ups for a long time. I finally got to the point when he needed to poop he had to go to the bathroom, get the pull-up, put it on and do his bussiness in the bathroom ( a ton of work for him...you'd think it would be easier to just poop in the potty :)). This took awhile to get him to do. Very small steps. This lasted for months. When I would try to push it, it was traumatic for him and I. For me it just wasn't worth it. Finally about 1 1/2 months ago my husband (I'd been trying for months....) got him to sit on the potty with the pull-up on to poop. We did this for a couple of weeks. I could feel like he was coming around and feeling more confident about it. Then I told him we only had 5 pull-ups left. When those were gone he had to poop in the potty. Every day we would talk about how many more pull-ups were left. We finally got to the day none were left. He got a bit upset, but nothing like the past. The first day he didn't go. The second day he said he needed to go. I told him he knew what to do. He got a bit upset, but nothing like in the past. He sat on the potty for a bit, but wouldn't go. I told him we would try later. About 30 minutes later he told me he needed to poop. I again told him he knew what to do. And he went to the potty and did it!!!!! I couldn't believe it. I thought this day would never come. He got a huge smile on his face and said "That wasn't so hard!!!" It was a priceless moment.

Anyway....it is a control thing and for some kids a fear thing. And your child will do it when he is ready. You can only do so much. I do know how frustrating it makes travelling and having a babysitter more difficult (most expect kids at this age to be pooping on the potty...), but hang in there. He will get to a point that he will do it. For my son the key was to do small steps at a time and once he was comfortable with that move onto the next step.

For me potty training has been the most difficult aspect of parenting....I know some people say their kids were trained in just a few days and I think I had a totally different view of potty training until I was in the midst of it. It was much harder than I ever thought it would be, but I made it through (my son is a twin, so I was doing two at the same time....)

Good luck and hang in there....do know that you are not alone...I have found that this happens to many kids....people just don't talk about it much.

J.

Hi S.~
This happen with my alomost 3 year old daughter. For some reason she hated to poop in the toliet. And I figured out it was becasue the water was splashing her. and it was scary for her. I started to put her on the training potty w/no water in it, and it was fine!~ Do you think the water can be an issur for your 3 old? If so, try the no water thing.

Natural Calm (Magnesium Citrate) & 1,000 to 2,000 mgs of Vitamin C a day...Both my children had this problem... and not no more... and laxatives such as too much fiber may cause him to depend on them forever!!! Magnesium citrate is a natural stool softener and great for relaxing muscles... Vitamin C is a much needed antioxidant... you will see over time you may need to lower the dose once the body finds its balance...

Love, G.. :0)
http://stemcellforautism.blogspot.com/

it's possible that he might just be embarrased to go. maybe you could just tell him you'll leave him alone (I'll say "do you want me to go away?") just act like you don't know he's about to go #2. that seemed to help with my oldest when she was the same age.