Need Advice on Taking 20 Month Old off Bottle

Hey S.!

I don't know how to solve your dilemma because I'm not at the same point you are. But I wanted to comment on your profile. I think it is AWESOME that you are still maintaining a high GPA. I am 30 years old and there are times when I feel like I'm too young to be taking care of my son and what the heck did I do??? (UNplanned pregnancy) so I applaud the fact that you kept your baby AND keep up with your school work. No matter what anyone else may say about you or to you... you deserve some cheerleaders in your life! Keep up the good work... and I want you to take a look at my business. I'd be willing to help you out for free as long as you keep up your GPA if you're interested. www.collegeboundstudentsinc.com

Your life isn't over just because you had a baby... it just makes everything you do more worthwhile. :)

3 moms found this helpful

First off,
Proud of you for taking responsibility for your daughter. Second, the only way to get rid of the bottle is to let her cry it out. It'll take a couple of days, but she'll get it. Believe me, it's the first of many battles you'll have and you need to make sure that it's clear who's in charge.

I'm a mom of 4 with #5 on the way & all my kids tested the boundaries and still do, but they learn.

Also, ignore her tantrums. When she's thirsty, she'll decide to drink from the cup. Be confident, don't think you're a bad mom for letting her cry it out. You're a better mom for doing so. You don't want her to be 4 yrs old and still on a bottle right??

Good luck to ya!
B.

2 moms found this helpful

S.,

Throw out all the bottles so there are none in the house. Offer her a cup with every meal. Let her scream. Let her cry. Let her have a tantrum. Whatever you do, Do Not give in and give her a bottle. She will forget about it soon enough but not if she thinks her persistence will pay off. This is just a phase and she will be fine. With your next kiddo try to get rid of bottles by age one.

I wish you the best!

E.

2 moms found this helpful

She's doing exactly what she's made to do. The reason doctors say to wean kids off the bottle at or before 12 months is because they are much more reasonable at that age! I'm sure you've tried to reason with your 20 month old, you'll never win. The good news is you can cut your losses and still have her drinking from a cup. Take all the bottles, nipples, and other stuff put it in a bag (you can have her help if she is willing) then walk out out the garbage can OUTSIDE and dump it in. Trust me, you WON'T want to go back in to retrieve anything. Then hand her a cup. It can be a sippy cup, just remember you'll have to go through the breaking/weaning stage all over again. Another suggestion is to let her pick out some cups (2 or 3 should be good) and just make sure she has a cup without a lid for meals. It will give her practice with a real cup and easier to take away any sippy type cups. Make sure to waterproof your dining area. You can get a plastic tarp type thing with characters on it or cut open a garbage bag, place her chair on it, put about an ounce of drink in her cup and let her go. She will be MESSY. It is really fun for her to dump out the cup. Show no reaction. Don't even clean it up until she's done with her meal and running around somewhere else.

The tantrums are just her way of letting you know she's mad. She hasn't learned to control her feelings, her body, or anything else. That just comes with time. Tell her calmly you can't understand her and walk away. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Just don't give in! Throw all the bottles away and offer a sippy cup with milk instead. It is very hard and sad to hear the crying but it only took 2 days with both my kids once we were consistent! The more you give in the harder it is for the kids!

1 mom found this helpful

WOW! Your only 16 and you have almost a 2 year old. Who will be caring for her while you are in school again? The reason I ask is that sometime a different person other than "mommy" can get a little one to cooperate.

You pretty much have to make everything a game to them at that age. If you know she likes a certain juice really good put that in the cup and water (or other drink she doesn't like) in the bottle and let her choose which one. The contents inside will hopefully steer her to drinking out of the cup.

I don't know how long ago you started trying to wean her but 20 months seems a bit long to be on a bottle. Does she like to chew the nipple cause she is teething? If that is the case than you need to replace that urge with something else also.

I wish you all the best luck! Your obviously have started VERY young and seem like a srong person to be taking on this challenge. Just don't try and do too much. Take Care!

1 mom found this helpful

First and foremost I have to agree with the other two women, good job! Be proud! and keep up the good work!!!!
Ok, as for the bottles...I hate to say this but you have to suck it up and just take them away. She is not going to like it, but it has to be done. You could get her fun cups (sippy or regular) and make a huge deal about those and out goes the bottles. I'm sure it's going to be hard, but you'll make it through!
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

S.:

My best advice is to cut the bottle cold turkey. Just throw them all out so your not tempted to give in and she's not able to see them in the house.

Try to Nuby (sp?) Cup for an easy transition to the cup. They are very inexpensive and have a soft rubber cup nipple more like the bottle then a hard cup lid. Once she has the hang of that it should be easy to switch to the hard type of cups. You can get them at Walmart or Target.

Also a big congrats for managing motherhood and school with excellent grades!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi S.,
I would quit giving her anything but water in her bottle and everything else goes in a sippy cup. Of course she cries, she is protesting. At her age you are able to tell her that bottles are going "bye-bye" for new little babies, she is now a big girl and big girls use a cup. She WILL throw a fit but stay strong. This will be the first of MANY battles for control, establish your authority in a firm, loving way. Do not give in! At the same time you wean her from the bottle you might as well wean her from milk at bedtime if you haven't already. I also recommend reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth for ALL sleep questions. If you EVER need advice or help, email me. I think you are doing great by staying in school AND caring for your daughter at such a young age.
Sincerely,
L.

1 mom found this helpful

We had similar issues with our oldest. We had her gather all her bottles and leave them out one night for the bottle fairy. The next morning when she woke up she found a collection of cups and an encouraging note from the bottle fairy thanking her for the bottles and telling her how proud the bottle fairy was that she was now using a cup. It worked like a charm.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi S.,

First of all, congrats on being such an amazing student! You are setting an amazing example for your daughter as far as being a dedicated, responsible woman. Keep up the good work!!!Stuff like this is always really frusterating and time consuming to handle, but it will totally work itself out. :) My suggestion is....you need to get rid of every bottle that you have, and this is something that she should help you with. Maybe put them in a box and explain to her that you are giving them away to the "Bottle Fairy" so she can give them to other babies who need them. Then, keep offering her a cup. She will need to drink from something, and if she knows that there are no more bottles, she will eventually give up, and go for the cup. She will probubly still throw a fit and give you a hard time, but just don't give in. Keep the cup somewhere she can easily get too, and maybe go shopping for special cups....something that she's really into, like Dora or some kind of Sesame Street/ Disney character. The main thing is not to give in and hold your ground, and make sure that anyone else who watches her does the same. If she knows that when she goes to grandma's house and can have a bottle, she will never be able to break the habbit. I hope that this suggestion helps!!! I am a mother of one, and before I was a stay at home mom, I majored in Child Development in college and after graduating, became a prechool teacher. This is stuff that you learn all about in C.D. classes. Also, I have had the same issue. My son is now 15 months old, and I don't even remember the last time we used a bottle. She will make the transition, just make sure to stay ontop of it. Take care! :)

M. Poncato

1 mom found this helpful

Hi S.

My name is S. as well. First off, I want to commend you for your responsibility and determination to succeed in school. You will be helping your daughter and yourself by getting an education. I agree with many postings, that it's hard enough to raise a kid in your 30's let alone a s a teenager. My hats off to you!

Now as for the bottle weening. I agree with Nicole. Do this in stages. We started giving out son, 15 months, a sippy cup in the afternoon to replace his bottle. He still uses a bottle in the morning and evening. Gradually, we will take a away another bottle and replace it with a sippy cup.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

Dear S.,
First I want to say that you are so awesome for staying in school! It is the best possible thing you could do for yourself, your baby, and your futures. It's hard, but you can do it! You seem like an amazing young lady.

The bottle thing....
It can be really rough. And frustrating.
With my daughter, I thought I could just cut down on how many times she had her bottle. She didn't want it for drinking so much as she wanted to hold it and know where it was at all times. She would cry if she didn't know where it was. We were at a friend's house one day and she just started crying. My friend's little boy, who was 5, said, "Don't worry, honey...I'll find your gong-gong." Why she called it that, I will never know. But if she started crying, it's a safe bet she couldn't find it.
I ended up just having to cold turkey her. She cried, she screamed, she threw fits. I just couldn't cave in. I got her "big girl" cups, I bought her a new doll that she could pack around instead of her bottle. She wanted nothing to do with it at first. She could throw them and refuse them if she wanted, but she wasn't getting her bottle. I told her gong-gong was broken and I had to throw it away. I told her I called the store and they didn't have any more gong-gongs. New babies needed them.
I don't know if you've ever seen them, but she had the kind of bottle that has a hole in the middle so they can grip them. She was the only kid I knew that had one and I haven't seen them in years. She never wanted the regular kind so even if we saw those in the store, she wouldn't want one.
I think it's good for you to do it now so you don't have to go through it on top of being in school. Get her a really cute sippy cup. Maybe take a magic marker and write her name on it. If you drink from the sippy and your boyfriend drinks from the sippy and you talk about how good that juice (or whatever) tastes, curiosity will get the best of her and she will want to try it. If her name is on it and you say "I'm going to drink from Emily's cup" she may become suddenly intersted in her own cup.
Honey, I just know that if you are on a timeline, you'll just have to cut her off. And she will live, believe me.
My little boy had to cold turkey from the breast. I had to go in the hospital for an operation. He cried, he hated it, he didn't understand at first....but he got over it.
It's not as easy as it sounds because I felt terrible. I was gone for a week so the boobs had left the building. And he settled down and got over it.
Get some earplugs. Let her scream. Hold her and tell her you love her and offer her a cup if she is thirsty. My son was easy to get the bottle away from. I started letting him drink from cups pretty early. And he loved drinking anything from a straw as well. I found all kinds of cups and crazy straws and I don't think he even noticed when the bottles went bye-bye.
Just stick with it. And I wish you the very best. I really do!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi S.,
Congratulations on your family. Being a mom is tough at any age and it is great that you're finishing school.
I've read through a lot of the advice you've received and a lot of it seems helpful, but I'm wondering what the rush is to get her off the bottle completely. I have a 30 month old who still has a bottle at night during story time (we always brush his teeth afterward) and sometimes in the morning, but drinks from sippy cups all day. He hasn't used a bottle at daycare for about 10 months now. He also uses a pacifier, but only at home in bed at night and not even for naptime at daycare. Anyway, it doesn't seem to be interfering with his development. He's been walking since 10 months and talking since 9 months and is quite articulate...also, his teeth look great.
Sucking is a comfort for babies and your daughter is still a baby from my perspective. I feel pretty strongly that our culture is far too insistent on rushing our kids. Many developed nations' mothers nurse their children into toddlerhood and children continue to have bottles until just before kindergarten. What is the rush to get her off the bottle? It doesn't sound like she's ready. The tantrums and tears are real emotions that might pass more quickly if they are dealt with, not ignored. What kind of pattern does ignoring your daughter's feelings set? Not a good one from my perspective. Yes, sometimes you have to be tough and you do know what's best for her at this age, but I don't think you develop much trust when you're too focused on some schedule or agenda that has nothing to do with what she might really need. Developmental milestones have more sticking power when they come from the child's readiness and are not forced on him or her. Perhaps weaning her more slowly will make things easier on both of you (and really, is there a problem with things being a little easier?) Perhaps moving bottle time to bedtime only will help and telling her that bottles are for bedtime or something along that line. It takes time. During the day, you could try offering her a sippy cup first, then slowly phasing out the bottle.
Pediatricians and experts have great advice, but it changes and follows trends. You will do the right thing, just try to remember that you're her mom and you know what she needs, it is in your DNA! Best of luck to you!

S.:

I give you credit for being so responsible at such a young age! Regarding your question, if you use avent bottles, they have sippy tops that insert where the nipple currently is. That way, she gets to hold a bottle but it has a different top. We started this transition from nipple to sippy tops at 11 months and we were done with bottles by a year.

She does not have to use a cup and if she is going into daycare- they will help you with this issue.

N.

Hi S., here's one of my best resources for toddler care that has helped me a lot -
www.askdrsears.com

whenever I have an issue or question, I always find a good answer there, they are a family of doctors that have very caring and compassionate advice.

I also like www.kellymom.com, they have good nutrition and sleep advice based on research so it's very accurate.

I am impressed with how well you are doing in school, you sound like a caring mom who is a hard worker and I can only imagine you will continue to do well - best of luck to you and your little one!

Hello S.,

Have you tried a soft nippled cup? My favorite is the Nuby.
They sell them at Walmart and Target. I do not know if it will work with your daughter, since she is older, but it "tricks" our baby into thinking it is just a different nipple on a bottle. Good luck!

http://www.diapers.com/Shop/ProductDetail.aspx?ProductID=...

There's a type of sippy cup (I want to say it's nubby or something like that) which is just like a bottle in the texture. The top is made of silicone just like many bottle heads and they have some that have a long straw like one. You might try it. That type of sippy cup may be easier for the transition. I agree with going ahead and just getting rid of or putting away all of the bottles and then just giving your daughter the sippy cup. She is going to be upset about not having her bottle for a while but she will get over it. She will throw fits for a little while and maybe even refuse the cup but eventually she will figure out that if she wants to drink somethings it is going to be from a sippy cup and that otherwise she isn't going to get what she wants to drink.

Dear S.,
Good for you for staying in school and being a great mom too! I had my son when I was 14, so I know what you are facing and how easy it would have been to give up on your education. I am 31 and my son is 17 now :-) It is so common for girls to use a baby as an excuse for slacking off in school, and that's why "teen moms" get such a bad rap. I graduated at age 17 with a 3.9, got my AA degree with honors at age 20, and went back and finished my BA degree cum laude when I was 27, and my son was right there with me every step of the way. Don't ever give up or let anyone look down on you, you have a very bright future ahead of you. Be sure to look into all the financial aid programs for college...I was able to get my tuition and books paid for, plus another $8000 per year towards living expenses through financial aid grants. These are grants that don't have to be repaid...they are designed as an alternative to welfare, and the financial aid people were always so nice and encouraging, saying "people like you are why programs like this exist". You do have to keep a full time course load and keep your GPA up (I think around 3.0?) but you sound like that will not be a problem for you :-) Between grants and a part time job, I was able to attend college full time and still afford a small apartment and a "reasonable" car! My son's dad wasn't any help, so since you've got your daughter's father helping, there is nothing to hold you back from making your life anything you want to make it!
Keep up the good work!
A.

I have a different take on this it seems like- I have 4 kids and 2 of them have been late giving up the bottle, but you know what, they went straight from the bottle to a regular cup- not a sippy cup- I say "who cares!" when people tell you when they're supposed to be off the bottle! They'll be off it at some point guaranteed. If it's a comfort to her than that's fine- she's not even 2, it's ok! When it seems totally unnecessary then you can always go cold turkey or try another technique. She clearly doesn't sound ready to me. Best of luck!

Hi S.,

One thing that worked for me was to take the spill proof thing (I don't know what it's called) out of a sippy cup the first time you give it to your daughter. Give her apple juice or something yummy so that she will use the cup. Once she gets the hang of it, you can put the spill proof little plug back in the top of the sippy cup. My kids took to the cup right away by doing that and they never went back to the bottle. At 20 months old she is old enough to let go of the bottle and move on to "big girl cups". Also, you could try using the cup yourself so that she sees Mommy using the big girl cups too. If that doesn't work, I would just keep trying to give her the cup before you give her the bottle or maybe just leave water or something in the cup and leave it out where she can get it whenever she wants to try it. Hope that helps

Sounds like you are doing a great job juggling motherhood, work and school. I can tell that you are a very intelligent young woman by your grammar and punctuation. Keep up the good work. Stay in school. Good luck with you future. It looks pretty bright from here!!

E.

Hi S.!

First let me applaud you for your efforts to "do it all" at such a young age. I am proud of you for sticking with school, as difficult as it probably is for you after having your daughter. You sound very mature to handle such a life at 16 years old. I would hug you right now if you were in front of me :o)

Now to "baby talk" :o)

I think you should try to take the Bottle away in "steps". Your daughter is still very young to do without it completely, for many different reasons. The 2 main reasons are for sucking needs, and for security needs in order to fall asleep.

I would introduce her to her sippy cup during the day, between normal bottles, so she has a chance to get used to it without it "threatening" her loosing her bottle.

After a few weeks/months~ she eventually will only need a bottle for soothing at bedtime.

Then, eventually, she will won't miss the bottle when you "sneak in" the cup for bedtime :o)

Do the transition over several months. There is no rush to take the bottle away, even though you're trying to do "the right thing" now, I am sure many of us appreciate your efforts and know what you're trying to do. But you will find, that there are some things....you cannot rush. For whatever reason, your daughter "needs" it :o) And, it's as simple as that :o)

Good for you, S..

:o) N.

Wow! It sounds like you are doing a good job and it must be so much harder being so young (it was hard enough doing it in my 30's!!!).

I just wanted to suggest that you don't take her off right now. My kids had bottles longer than most and it was so much easier to introduce sippy cups after 2. They still had bottles as well when they wanted them. I don't like to rush kids for any reason. Some people looked at me funny but my kids were so well adjusted and we never had a big crisis giving anything up. I imagine that would be very traumatic for a little baby.

I don't know your needs for her to have a cup while you are going back to school so perhaps I'm not much help.

I really just wanted to give you a little encouragement about sticking with your positive attitude. I have found parenthood the most amazing but impossibly difficult at times, thing anyone could ever do. It sounds like you have a good start. I hope your boyfriend marries you and that you can make this family work. You sound mature and on the right track. I'm impressed!

Good luck to you!

First of all, WOW and keep up the good work! It is great that you have remained so committed to your education, even with heart so full of love for your daughter.
So, the bottle brand Avent sells a bottle that comes with both the nipple and a sippy cup top. So the child knows it is the same idea, but they get used to a different kind of mouth motion. We have one, and have been using the cup attachment for the afternoon bottle. It is going pretty well (my son is 16 months).
Most kids have a harder time taking milk from a cup than any other drink. Good luck!

I just made this suggestion to another mother: take your daughter to the store to pick out new cups. Have her be part of the process and feel a sense of empowerment. In doing so, she is part of the process and oftentimes, the motivation will increase when children feel they have some say. Our son is 18 months and we transitioned to sippy cups by the time he was one. I too was worried about decreasing BF and bottle, yet well, I just did it and stuck with the process. I transitioned to sippy cups for all meals and water during the day...the bedtime bottle was the last to go (yet did this all within 7 days). And ya know what, I don't think he even noticed. Granted, we may have had it easy (no tantrums), yet children will generally adapt rather quickly especially when parents are consistent. Once you and her pick out new cups, explain to her that this is her new big girl cup...place the cups in a drawer where she can even go and retrive. Say, "it's time to get your big girl cup"...have fun with it and she will too. It may take some time, but she will adjust. Best of luck! And keep up the good grades...you are doing great!

We did formula to suppliment solids for the first 2 years, cause it was the closest thing to the advice to keep breast milk going for the first 24 months.
But then....
my daughter would hardly drink anything out of a sippy cup. And we needed to get her Miralax for constipation into her. Prune juice in a sippy wasn't cutting it either. At nursery school, they had these TEENY open cups, and she would drink some from them. They had sippy cups, the travel/disposable ones, no valves, and she would drink about 1/2 cup from those. But true sippys with a valve? she wouldn't touch. Her school thought she was drinking plenty compared to other kids, but we were worried.

Then I read for verbal late bloomers, cut them a deal. Can your daughter talk much? I was driving in the car, and was chatting with my daughter, and explained that now that she was 2, it was time for the bottles to go. So if she was to touch an animal, like an elephant or a giraffe.... in exchange would she give up the bottle?
My plan was to take her to Marine world, then out the bottles would go. She is a huge Zooboomafo fan.
"SNAKE! what about a snake?"
Yes, apparently if she could touch a snake, she would give up the bottle.
I was ready to BUY her a snake just to never wash another Dr. Browns bottle again.
So off we went to Petco. She held a snake. I googled up images of ball pythons and printed them up and put them on the fridge.
And then bedtime came. And the tears.
I knew if I gave into her once we were doomed, we had to hold the line, or it would just teach her nagging worked.
I forget how we eventually got her to sleep, but the next day was worse. She had gone from about 48 oz of fluids a day to a couple sips here and there.
At one point I was so worried about her being dehydrated, that during a nap I got out a hand puppet, threw a sheet over me, and snuck her a bottle. She drained it in less than a min and went back to sleep. She never knew I was a cream puff. The mysterious hand puppet is who gave her the bottle!

Now she is nearly 6, and she still drinks little. She hasn't ever gone back to pounding the fluids like when she was on the bottle. To take meds we mix them with chocolate milk, and have to cheer her drinking them. (or no TV until the drink is gone). She does like straws....

Good luck, it is HELL. White knuckle couple days off hell. Just bear with it and run out the clock. Talk to the school. We found our daughter would do "big girl" things at school she NEVER would at home. She was the first to lay down for nap at school, but fought them at home. Same thing with cup vs bottle. You may be able to take this in steps.

Hi S.,

I am 37 but when my mom weaned me from the bottle around the same age, we "lost" the bottle. When I would ask for it, Mom would say "we lost it." She and I would then proceed to look for it, under the couch, in the sink, under beds, etc. When my curiosity had been satisfied, I would just move on. At the end of the day (yep, it only took one day) when she put me down for bed I was standing in my crib asking for my "baba" again. Mom said, "we lost it" each time I asked. After a few rounds of this, I appearently paused, thought, and said "cup." She went and got me some water in a cup and that was that.

Keep up the good work.

Great job on your school habits! Definately something to be proud of. I don't know how many bottles you currently give her every day, but we started removing a bottle from her routine every few days. She is now just down to her bedtime bottle. This week we are giving her one less ounce every night. When she gets to zero, she's done. We are trying to offer her the sippy cup with milk throughout the day as much as possible. I am sure it will be a struggle, but everyone says it will only take a few days and she will be fine!

Hi S.,
I just switch my 13 month old baby from the bottle to a sippy cup...I recommend using Gerber - NUK® Learner Cup soft sprout sippy cup... I got it at walmart ... cost about $6.

http://www.gerber.com/

I tried using the harder sprouts but my daughter she wouldn't take it as well. I had to switch her from formula to milk as well as from the bottle to the sippy cup at 12 months. She made a fuss too...but once I decided this is the day that I switch...I never gave her the bottle again (she had no choice). It took about 3 days for her to except it without a fuss. I also recommend using a straw sippy cup for water.

We stopped the bottle cold turkey at 14 months and she screamed in protest for a few days, but she loved drinking whole milk and she realized the only way she was getting it was through a cup. She has an 8 ounce bottle of whole milk in bed every morning. We used the Nuby cups and she will now chug 8 ounces of milk out of the sippy cup. My daughter is only 17 months and completely understands when I tell her she can't have something. Your 20 month old is trying to make you give in. Throw the bottles away or store them and you won't have an option to give in. Screaming and tantrums is what kids do to get their way and we as parents have to do whats best for them even if they don't like it. Good Luck with high school

I don't really have any advice. My son is 26 months and still goes to bed with a bottle-I just stopped nursing him to sleep a few days ago! The bottle is a new thing for him.I just wanted to say hang in there! I know it's hard and frustrating and overwhelming sometimes. Just hang on! I hope you have family and friends who are there for you, too, along with your boyfriend.
4.0 is impressive for kids who DON'T have a baby!!Good Job!!

We went through the same thing at about the same age just a few months ago. I just went cold turkey, offering the cup instead of the bottle. I packed up the bottles so I wouldn't be tempted to cave in and he couldn't see them. It was a miserable three days, where he refused to take the cup and cried a lot. But then he gave in and forgot all about bottles.

I wanted to give you props along with the other mothers. Keep up the good work!

As for the cup. . . My babysitter wanted to get my daughter on regular milk when she turned one. She would not give my daughter milk in a bottle so we started working with a sippy cup. My daughter just couldn't get the sucking thing down. To get it to work, I took a medicine dropper of formula (what we were using at the time) and stuck it in the side of her mouth while she was drinking from the sippy cup. She had to suck and swallow to get that milk down and within two or three feedings had the sippy cup down pat. I'm not sure if this is the problem, or she is just fighting changing for you.

I do agree with the other moms, let her pick the cup and it will be more exciting for her.