July 06, 2009,
M.B. asks from Lincoln, CA on July 03, 2009
Need Advice on Pros and Cons of Siblings Sharing a Room
We are seriously considering having a 3rd child however I am feeling guilty about the bedroom situation for my two boys. If we have a 3rd child, my two older boys ages 2 and 4, will have to share a bedroom.
They already fight likey crazy (i'm hoping they will actually play with each other SOMEDAY). Can anyone in this situation please share their advice/experiences on having two boys share a room?
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W.M. answers from Sacramento on July 04, 2009
When my kids were small they all shared the same room. While it was large, they all had their own stuff. My middle one was always complaining that the other two are slobs, and I never beleived her until we moved and they all got their own rooms. Needless to say, she is now the only one with a clean room, and the other two are always being told to pick up their rooms. I guess the point is
when one complains about something, it's probably true, you just may not reaize it when they are both in the same room together.
1 mom found this helpful
R.W. answers from San Francisco on July 04, 2009
My boys shared a room until they were about 7 and 9. Sometimes they fought...and one needs more sleep than the other and his brother was always waking him up to play when he needed more sleep, which made him insane...
But I think the hardest thing was just having their stuff and space joined, so that whatever happened with one, affected the other. We couldn't send one to his room as a consequence, without it also becoming a punishment for his brother (either trapped in there with an angry sibling, or unable to be in his own room at all)...also if we tried to withhold remove something from one, same thing, the other got cheated, because they were used to sharing everything. Send one to bed early, same thing!
So when we were finally able to separate them, it helped a lot.
My husband says having three kids is exponentially harder than having two kids. Instead of 1:1 play it becomes 2 against 1 play, and the adult/child ratio is no longer even, so there is always one kid loose while you try to corral the other two!. But if you really want a third, and think you can work around the room issue, go for it!
S.M. answers from San Francisco on July 04, 2009
The world is full of people who grow up sharing a room with one, two, three or more siblings--- it might be good for them to have to share space. My boys shared until they were seven and fourteen, and at that point, I felt my older boy needed his privacy, so we moved into a larger space. I think my boys got along better because they had to share, although of course your boys are much closer in age, which often makes it harder for them to get along.
J.L. answers from San Francisco on July 06, 2009
i shared a room with my brother until i was 9 (and, yes, boys and girls do share bedrooms a lot!).
the only thing i would suggest is to make the transition before you try to have the 3rd. make it more about wanting them to get closer, etc. and let them help make the decision over who has to relinquish "their room" so there is no resentment. you don't want them to resent the new baby for "forcing them" into sharing rooms.