Need Advice on My Teenage Daughters First Date!! HELP!!!

i think if you talk to your daughter about everything if you sat her down and talked to her about how you are feeling and why. Tell her that you are not comfortable with her dating a guy that has gone as far as he has in a relationship and that you don't want her to go that far. I guess just try the open and honest approach is what i would do and see where it leads this time. YOu have to trust that you raised your kids right and that they are going to make the right choice when the time comes.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi L.,

With my kids, I went according to my own experiences. My parents were very strict due to their religion. Because of that I would lie & tell them I was going somewhere else. They never knew where I really was on my dates or hanging out with my friends.

I didn't stick to the religion I was raised up on. (I still believe in God) So I'm not as strict as my parents. I let my kids go to movies, dances & such. I need to know where they are going, know the people they are going with and what time they will be home.

My girls are 19 & 22 years old, my boy is 13 years old. I let them know that I trust them but I worry because I love them. I want to know where they are at all times. My girls are on there own now, so I'm talking about when they lived with me.

If you've taught your daughter well, you shouldn't have to worry. The teenage years are hard, seeing them grow up into little women & sprout out on there own.

You have got to trust your kids & let them know you trust them. My kids & I are pretty close, sometimes they tell me things that I wish they would have kept to themselves.

You know this boys Mom. He's not a vigin anymore...it takes two. Hopefully you've taught your daughter about that stuff & she won't go there. Whoever she is on a date with, there's that risk. Almost any boy is going to try, even the church boys. I dated a few of those & yeah, they tried. Didn't get anywhere.

I'd relax on this one. It is hard watching them grow up & even after they are grown they may get into situations & there is nothing you can do besides let them know you are there for them & your home is open to them anytime. My 19 year old is in a situation that I wish she would get out of.

I hope this helps.

G.

1 mom found this helpful

Just know that you have tought her everything she needs to know and she will make you proud.If she is anything like my girl also 15 she knows what she wants and will not let boys get in the way..My girl had her frist boyfriend. I wasn't going to let her date till 16..but because she asked me instead of sneeking around I let her..Sad to say that this guy was a to your face lyer..as he has other girlfriends as well..but my daughter wasn't about to give up anything that was sacred to her so the boy moved on as did my girl..she doesn't have a boyfriend and said I was right that she will date later on..just let her experience things at her pace and with a light heart..good luck i am also a stay at home mom with a 17 yr. boy and 15 yr.&10 yr.girls and I an 37

Hi!

Well I'm not a mom with a teenage daughter, but I'm young and I remember being that daughter, and from that point of view I would say the best thing for you to do is to keep that trust between you and her and also to build a relationship with the boyfriend too. Remeber, she's only 15, and there's gonna be more boys in the future! :) But start off with those supervised dates, but still give them a little space, and when you feel you have established that trust, let them go on one by themselves, but I'd wait till she was at least 16 for that. My mom hated the fact that I was growing up and entering that scene, but when your daughter knows you trust her, she's going to trust you and she will continue to tell you everything and not sneak around.
Hope this helps! :)

Hello, my name is K., and I think that I might be able to help a little, I hope so. If you really trust your daughter and believe that she's a great kid, than you shouldn't have to be on the date with them. I know that they agreed to it, but you should just be honest with her, tell her how you feel, and tell her that you trust her and know that she'll do the right thing. Just because this boy has lost his virginity, doesn't mean that your daughter will be so forthcoming. I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt. If you trust her, she'll trust you.

ahhhhhhhhhh, such a tough time, I'm sure! Why would you want to stop your daughter from seeing this guy? Do you not like him? You seemed alright with him, but halfway through your post, you mentioned trying to keep them apart. Are you afraid your daughter will make a mistake? Or do something you don't want them to do?

In this day and age, kids are doing things at a younger age. I would suggest supervising them, but don't be overbearing about it. If you're concerned about what they're going to do, then talk to your daughter about it. You said you guys talk about everything...why not talk about this? Even if she doesn't SAY she's going to do something, you would probably be able to read her expressions enough to catch on that she plans on doing something you wouldn't approve of.

Just keep in mind that you can't protect your daughter from EVERYTHING...she does need to experience some things. Like you've said, your daughter is a wonderful kid and you've taught her right. She's not going to just throw all of that out the window because a boy comes along. I wasn't there long ago, myself :) And I remember when I lost my virginity at 16...we were responsible about it and if you talk to your daughter, I'm sure she will be too (when that time eventually comes).

Do you have certain rules about dating, such as the age when dating is allowed? It is a lot easier to say I'm sorry, I am not allowed to date until I am 16, but I will be looking forward to your call then. In the meantime, my family is going out to miniature golf or bowl this weekend, would you like to join us?
It sounds as though your family has a very good moral standing, I can't believe the boy is no longer a virgin at 15!!
Also, teenage girls will do what they will do if they feel that their parents don't trust them. Be sure that your relationship with you daughter is a very open one. She needs for you to teach her these values and then respect the fact that you trust her to make the right choices.
I would also role play with her and give her a few example approaches to situations she might encounter. Being a parent of a teenager in todays world can be very trying I'm sure, but if it's so hard to be the parent, imagine what it's like to be a teen!
Good Luck L.!
Teen parent communication is so important!
S.

My daughter is two and I can definitely wait until the teenage stage in her life. However, Kudos on standing your ground. I would not let me daughter be unsupervised at the age of 15 with a boy I did not trust and maybe not a boy I did trust. Often in today's society teenagers are given the liberties of an adult when they are still so young. 15 is not that old, even though it is an age of struggle for independence. You can't avoid some struggle in the teenage stage. If your daughter knew you wanted to smother out the relationship, she definitely won't respond well, but if the relationship was meant to be then it will outlast your persistence (but at 15, what relationship is meant to last?). If this boy sincerely respects and likes your daughter, then he will put up with anything you throw at him. I would definitely keep up the supervision if I was in this situation. My grandmother told me once that if you worry, then you are a good mother, and from there just try your best. I remember my parents letting me go on "outings with friends" (the title they gave to dates). They would take us to the mall to shop/watch a movie. This way they were always in the same building, but I didn't feel smothered because they weren't right next to me all the time. I hope this helps, but it seems like you are doing every thing you can.