Need Advice on Money Tree for 8 Yr Bday Party

I know this is not the advice you were asking for, but I hope it gives you a more reasonable and more acceptable alternative to the "he only wants cash" request.

I would not do a money tree or request "cash only" gifts. It offends people and makes them not even want to get a gift because it implies that he won't appreciate a non-cash gift. To be quite honest, a lot of times those normally pricey gifts our kids receive were bought at a discount. If I can't afford a $20 gift I will search the clearance aisle and get them something they like on my terms. I've gotten $30 items for $5 many times using this system. I don't like giving just $5 in cash if that's all I can give. For a 4 or 5 year old $5 is okay, but for an 8 or 9 year old that's not enough to me considering that when others give my kids cash or gift cards it is usually $10 or more. **I think I'll post this question separately and ask for opinions.** Sorry, I ramble...

When my daughter turned 8 this past September, all she really wanted was a hamster. She has been asking for one since she was 4 and has shown that she is very responsible by taking care of our cats and dog over the last 3 years. She is very much into insects and small animals like lizards and snakes, as well. When she captures them she keeps them for only a few hours or less and then releases them back where she found them so that they don't starve. One day she kept a june bug over night and forgot it while she went school; she was so frantic when she got home from worrying about it. I didn't know it was there and it died sometime during the day. She cried because she knew it was her responsibility since she caught it wihtout being able to feed it. It was the first insect to die in her care. We have had pets die from old age, but never from neglect, so this was new to her and she felt it very sharply. Because she felt the anguish and now had the full understanding of what can happen if the animal is not taken care of, my husband and I decided that she was ready for the hamster and the three of us researched the type of hamster she wanted and what start-up and support supplies she would need. She decided on a Black Bear Hamster, which is a type of Syrian Hamster.

My family sends out emailed invitations most of the time. At the bottom, we usually put a few of their interests and their sizes. On her invitation, I put a couple of her interests (geology & mineralogy, Bratz) and added that she was saving up to buy a hamster and his supplies. Those who wanted to buy presents did so and those who wanted to help with the hamster brought a card with either cash or gift cards inside to places like PetSmart and Wal-Mart (for hamster supplies). She had enough to go and purchase everything the next day, with my husband and I supplying the cost of the hamster as our gift. She picked out the cage first, then we kept a running total of the food, bedding and support items (toys and snacks). We kept tax in mind, as well. When she got to the end of what she needed, she still had a couple of gift cards left over for future hamster stuff. She picked out the hamster she had decided on and we contributed that amount at the register (it was not part of the running total since the hamster itself was from us). She was very pleased with her choice. She learned the value of a $ and learned what goes into raising a pet that is all hers. The hamster loves her and will actually sleep in her lap or on her chest. As she saves up money, she'll ask to go to the pet store to see if she wants or needs to buy anything. If she has enough she does, if not she tells us that she'll wait until later.

My reason for this LOOONNNG story is as follows:

This could be a good way of teaching your son the value of saving. Decide on an amount in advance that you are willing to chip in, not necessarily a blank amount like "however much he's short". He's going to want new games and the extra controller packs needed for the different games. If he only gets $90 he'll expect you to cough up the rest. Research the costs of these items WITH HIM. Make him participate in the research. Do not go on your own and just report back to him. Make a list of the items and their costs. Tell him that whatever cash he gets he should save for the Wii, the games and the accessories, that you are willing to add ONLY a certain amount, and that he can earn the rest by doing chores. Set specific $ amounts for each chore and keep a record of which chores pay how much and which chores actually got done. At the end of the pay period that you set, pay him in cash. The day after you get paid is probably easiest... if you get paid every two weeks, then so does he. Have him sign the log book showing that he was paid and how much. This makes him responsible for saving the money and prevents him from saying "you actually owe me this much because you only paid me for these chores". By working for it, he will take much better care of the Wii because he realizes what it took to get it.

Some may not agree with this, but this is my advice. It is rubbing off on my almost-5 year old son, too, by watching his sister. He has already started deciding which GeoTrax and Thomas the Tank Engine toys he needs to save up for up and if we tell him he doesn't have enough for something, he says okay and asks what he needs to do to get it.

I hope this helps someone.

2 moms found this helpful

It is a terrible situation! I know! What I usually do is, when people inevitably ask what your child would like for his birthday, tell them that he has really enjoyed paying for his own things and keeping track of his money, so gift cards would be great and then name a store, such as Walmart or Game Stop. Or I told my friends and parents that I was buying the system, and gift cards would enable him to buy a game that he really wants. I would check the system, because it usually comes with the all-sports game, that includes bowling, tennis, golf, etc. And that's what we play all the time!! The best part about Game Stop, if ya'll have one, is that you can buy used/refurbished game systems and games at a fraction of the price. Then just be sure to have him send a thank you card so that they know the money/gift card went to good use.

1 mom found this helpful

like others have said, a tree wouldn't work well. However, you could put on the invitation 'for gift ideas, he would love gift cards to walmart (or wherever you plan to buy the game system) as he is saving to buy a Wii. I told people for our recent party that the girls were raising guppies and wanted a new aquarium and gift cards to Petsmart and Walmart- they got $50 in gift cards and a new $30 aquarium!

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I had this similar problem... what I did was put on the invitation, "NO TOYS, PLEASE!!!" instead I asked for Walmart gift cards instead...this takes away the pressure for asking for cash. if you plan to get it from target then ask for that gift card.

good luck

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We have received invitations that indicate a gift idea at the bottom; for example a "P.S. John is saving up for a Wii and Game Stop gift cards would really help him get there!" Most people will appreciate the suggestion.

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That would be way beyond tacky. Not only would it be taken poorly by your invited guests (which are suppose to be friends/family invited for the celebration of the passing of a milestone not b/c their monetary machines) but would probably make most of them decline.

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YES, I do think it is VERY tacky. I also think it is tacky for people who wear money pinned to their shirt on their birthdays! It's like your making it all about money instead of the celebration of the day God gave you life. These people are like the "Bums" at the intersections with their signs begging for money. My son is 8 and doesn't have a Wii and he is still living a good life!

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It would be very tacky to do this from his friends. However, when your family calls asking for suggestions explain that he wants the wii system and gift cards (to wherever you are purchasing it) would be really appreciated). Make sure you snap a picture of him with the gift once you have made the purchase and make enough copies to send to any family members with a thank you note from you and your son for help with making this gift a reality!!! ;-)

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People list what kids like and their sizes on the invitations all the time. I don't like to do it, but all my friends do because everyone asks them so they write it down instead. It's just for information, not a request. Anyway, I would list it as an option. He is saving up for Wii game and if you want to donate to this rather than purchase something that would be fine. Or, just mention it to the ones who ask included with other options. But, it wouldn't hurt you to make him save up for part of it since it is so expensive. The wait and effort will make him appreciate it more. And, he won't have to save up for all or even most of it. Close friends and family would rather give him something he really wants, usually. You could also ask family to (outside of the birthday party) to hire him for certain "jobs" in order to buy the game. They will know what he wants and will be helping him out in more ways than one.

1 mom found this helpful

Well, I got this from my kids. I did not come up with this idea. They teach me well!! Sometimes this works in their favor. As my kids entered school age, their friends have always asked my girls what they were into. My kids would tell them and their parents sometimes would get gift certificates related to the theme or items my kids mentioned. This may help with the non-family group.

The Wii is awesome. You will love it as much as your kids. Great exercise as well.

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IMO i dont think its that tacky, i would do the gift card thingy, most of the time i dont know what to get anyone, not even my own kiddos sometimes, at least this way, he can save up the gift cards if he doesnt have enough money he can do work around the house and just pay him so much for each thing or so much a week till he can save up enough (i would put his "pay" on a gift card as well), i would appreciate it if you put that on the invite if my kiddo was going, at least i would have to be walking around in circles for an hour trying to decide what im going to get, and usually getting something they already have!!! Good Luck and go with your gut!!!

1 mom found this helpful

When my son turned 4 he wanted a wooden swing set for the back yard (roughly $400.00). We asked only family for cash donations to go towards the swing set. When other non-family guests asked what they should get him for his birthday I told them that he really wants a swing set for the back yard and that our family are all pitching in to buy him one and they could help buy buying gift cards to Toys R Us (That's where we bought the swing set). I also gave them other suggestions for toys he would like so they could go that route too.
I hope this helps

B. Keller
Mom to 8 year old son soon to be 9 and 1year old son soon to be 2.

1 mom found this helpful

i wouldn't hesitate to ask family members and friends (who are as close as family) to donate money to a gift he really wants and that you cannot afford...... BUT - I think it would be tacky to put out a money tree so the guests of an eight year old boy's birthday party can attach money to it.

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Just tell all of the parents what your are trying to do for him. Most of the time they will ask you, "What is he into or what can I get him?" Then all you have to say is or write on the invitation is that he would like all of his gifts to be in form of a gift card...you have to pick the store so go see which store has it on sale or has the best price! Make sure you let the parents know that all he wants is "Walmart gift cards" or something like that. Good Luck! Oh, what I did for my kids is I got our Wii at Conn's and I was able to make four payments on it! It also came in a bundle which was great! It came with two games Wii Sports and Wii Wario and with two remotes and two numbchucks. (spelling?) LOL!!! It was easier for me to get it that way!

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L. I dont think that it is tacky.I would put in the invitations that we are trying to suprise my son with the wii game and instead of gifts let your gift be a monatarie.I think you will be able to pull that off,because most people will be happy to see the kids get what they want for their birthday.

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