Have any of you ever had a child who did or does this? Every time we go to a restaurant lately, my son tries to lie down on my lap or the bench or across two chairs, etc. He says he's tired. As soon as we leave the restaurant, he is no longer tired. Is this just a game to him or what? We make him sit up, but he keeps trying to do it throughout the meal. Any advice appreciated.
Thanks to everyone for all of the good advice. We have started bringing small toys in with us and that does help. We are trying to include him more in the conversation now too.
Both my kids do it and Ive seen all kinds of kids that age doing it. I bring toys like cars coloring books and we play tic tac toe. They are just bored waiting for their food to arrive. They are not little adults and you cant expect them to sit and behave like adults. You have to keep them busy and entertained. Just be greatful he is not jumping on the seats and running around and screaming.
He's bored.
REALLY Bored.
There is not much that is more torturous to a small child than a restaurant.
Bring a small tote bag full activities, small cars, coloring, play dough, eye spy books, etc. (Take out only ONE activity at a time!)If you find something that he really likes or can't usually have, reserve it for special occasions like going out. You might have to play along with him in intervals, you cant expect a 4 year old to entertain himself (in a way that is acceptable) in a restaurant for very long.
You are in the last year that it is really hard. Once he reaches 5 or 6 it does get easier. In the mean time, consider a babysitter or trade child duty with a friend so you can enjoy your time out.
P. : )
who cares at least hes not running all over the restaurant like my wild child. be thankful!
Maybe he is bored and not tired as he does. My 8 yr old does the same thing from time to time and it's incredibly annoying to me.
Try bringing something with you that he doesn't usually get to have - a special book to read at the table, a coloring book w/crayons that he only gets when you go out to eat, a small puzzle, or a hand-held game that he can only play at restaurants.... and only if he isn't sprawled all over the place. If it's boredom, a reminder on the way to the restaurant of the toy/game that he gets if he sits nicely might help to prevent the behavior.
With my son, he's usually just bored or feels excluded because the adults tend to focus more on conversation with each other, so we make a special effort to converse with him and about topic he enjoys (though I'm pretty tired of talking about video games and skateboarding!!) just to make him feel like more of a part of the group and not there just because I am.
If it's not boredom, it could be some sort of attention-seeking game. I'm sure he's not consciously doing it, but make sure you are including him - I've always asked my son his opinion on where he wants to eat (though he doesn't have final say, he just has a vote) and also I let him pick his meal from two or three choices that I pre-select. He's getting plenty of attention, feels important (since he helps make decisions), and isn't restless or laying down or fidgety because he wants attention or is bored. Sometimes I slip and he starts the laying down thing, but usually a reminder "I guess you don't want to watch tv when we get home since you're so tired you can't even sit up now" usually fixes the problem.
good luck!
My experience is that once one of my kids does something, he wants to do it every time. For instance, if he's had to use the bathroom at a particular store, then every single time we go to that store he HAS to use the bathroom (even if he had just barely gone). If I know that he doesn't really need to - then I don't always allow it because I know he's just goofing around. In your case, it is upsetting your dinner and likely the ambiance of those around you. So, to stop it, you're going to have to do something that really gets his attention. The next time you're planning on going to a restaurant, expect that he's going to do that and "make him an offer he can't refuse". Tell him ahead of time that if he does it again, then X will happen (and it has to be something that he REALLY doesn't like, such as getting up and walking out and going home - maybe have a friend meet you and take him home and put him to bed. If you choose the right consequence, then it will work. I read John Rosemond, and this is the sort of thing he suggests. It works, but you have to be consistent, and a leader.
Ignore it. It will probably go away. And in it's place will probably be another equally annoying 4 year old boy behavior. I have found that I say once or twice what I want them to do. If they ignore me then I ignore the behavior and see if that works. I only get in power struggles with my children over things that are really important and I don't sweat the small stuff. When our two oldest boys were little we gave up on restaurants and did "to go" orders. I have had "to go" food from some of the best restaurants in town.
Who knows! I'd be grateful for the laying down child. Mine tries to get up and run around, wants to talk to everyone in the restaurant. Never a dull moment...lol.
My son did the same thing when he was that age, and it drove me crazy! (At least he wasn't trying to run around the restaurant!) At first I tried bribing him with a promise of dessert if he sat up and behaved, but that only worked once or twice. I also pointed out that everyone else in the restaurant was sitting up and not lying down and that it was not OK to lay down in my lap during a meal. I told him that next time he would not be allowed to come out to dinner with us. A few days later my husband and I were heading out for a dinner date and he begged to come with us instead of staying with a babysitter. I told him that he was not allowed to come because he always said he was tired and layed down in my lap and that he had to stay home. We did one more night out without him and told him the same thing. The third time he promised he would sit up and behave if he could come along (which was the plan) and he behaved perfectly. It's only occurred once since then and it turns out he was sick the next day. I also make sure to take along lots of stuff to keep him occuppied, including stuff that he doesn't always get to play with. Some times I have him make a picture to give to our server. If possible, I have his food brought ahead of ours so it can cool off and he can get started. Hope this helps, Good Luck!
He's probably just acting like a 4 year old, but I was wondering if he feels tired in other public places. Environmental factors such as perfumes can cause tiredness in some people. If there is a great deal of perfume or other fragrances in the restaurant, this may cause him to be tired.
HI R.,
Yes, this is a game. My children are now 11 and 14 and we started taking them out when they were young, so they would learn how to behave and you don't have these type of problems when they are older. Your son is old enough to explain to him that just like you have rules at home, there are rules in the restaurant. No laying down is one of them. If you do not follow the rules, we will all have to leave. The first couple of times I would make sure to go somewhere that her really likes and would not like to leave. Here is the hard part - you must stick to your guns. Remind him once, maybe twice, and then just pick him up and go. You may have to get your food boxed up, but after doing this a few times, he will get the message. It may sound mean, but if he keeps doing this pick a place he really likes to go and leave him home. Let him know that is where you are going and why he is not allowed to come, too. He is old enough to behave in the restaurant. I'm not too big in the bribe department, but promising him something in return for good behavior may work, too. Be careful, though, he may start expecting "prizes" for everything he does and misbehaving when he doesn't get one. Good luck! L.
