Need Advice on Car Seat Issues

Hi K.,
I would have to agree that he may just be uncomfortable in his seat. I have used the Britax Boulavard since my daughter was 9 months. It is pricey but worth every penny. Oh my what a great seat! And you can use it forever, up to 65lbs anyway. I would have to disagree with turning him forward too soon. You really want to go to the maximum weight on your seat for his spinal safety. Hundreds of children die daily from internal decapitation in 30mph crashes. Just about all are turned before there spinal cord can support their head in a whiplash situation. Please visit www.cpsafety.com and educate yourself on this. My daughter stayed rear facing until she was 3 years, 2 months and 32lbs. She was perfectly happy and comfortable. She also watched her dvd thru a mirror and she was much safer for it! You have to realize they dont know any different so it isn't a bad thing for them to ride that way. And yes their legs do get longer but they sit indian style. If you watch children while watching tv or just sitting, that is how they sit anyway. It is comfortable for them. No stiudies have showed any problems with there legs in rear facing accidents either. If I had to choice I would much rather a broken leg vs severd spinal cord. Sorry to go on but that is one that a lot of people dont bother to research. Its always lets hurry and rush them to the next stage, why? They will grow up fast enough. Protect them while you can. If you dont have a dvd player installed in your car then you can get an automobile one from Walmart or target. They strap on the seat and aren't too expensive. I really wish you luck with this. Your a great mom:)
Jamie

I agree with Meredith...DVD player. If you don't like him to watch trivial cartoons, put in a Baby Einstein DVD - he can learn and ride!! Worked for me. Good luck!

My second daughter was like that. She hated car rides - oh, how she would cry. Made me want to pull my hair out. I questioned why- maybe the seat was too hard (silly, huh - we all know how much padding those diapers have!), maybe the seatbelt was too tight, maybe the temperature was too hot/too cold, no, she just plain hated car rides! She eventually grew out of it. Now she races her sister to the car!

This is a tough problem since there is no way to completely avoid the situation. I doubt he is car sick unless other types of motion make hime sick such as riding in his stroller. It would be very rare for an 8 month old to be car sick. He probably just doesn't like being confined by the shoulder straps. Believe me an 8 month old can definitely have a temper and it sounds like that is what this is. His screaming gains him a lot of attention, but I hope you don't "give in just this once". As a pediatric nurse I have seen the results suffered by unrestrained infants in a car accident. As hard as it is, the best thing would be for both parents to ride up front. As long as someone is sitting next to him, he expects to be taken out of his seat. When this doesn't happen, he just gets angrier. You know he is safe and secure. You can even get one of those mirrors that allows you to keep an eye on him. Hopefully, knowing he won't be taken out, he will eventually give in and get used to his seat before your nerves shatter!
S. R.

What kind of car seat do you have him in?? Infant seat or convirtable? Is this all of a sudden on has it been on going?

HI K. - I feel your pain. my first and third child did not/do not like the car seat..or car- my first son grew out of it at around 2- my 3rd son who is 16mos- still screams in the car- it's so aggrevating, especially when others have car sleepers! my second son is great in the car sleeps and entertains himself...my 1st still wiggles around and wont sleep in the car tho...
I wonder too if it might be a sensation...talk to your peditirican next visit and ask abotu motion or car sickness- I wonder if dramamine or something like that would help? I have not tried it myself...my first son did have other sensitivities as well- closley related to SID (sensory problems) but has grown out of most of those....he is 6 1/2 now- does your child have any other sensitivities? to the sun - foods - certain smells - a lot of people around? if so you may wan to have him evaluated for sensory problems- they can do occupational therapy for it- maybe that would help in the car....I wish I would have known sooner to do something about it - but didn't hear of such a thing till he was about 4 1/2 and outgrowing some of these things....good luck to you and email if you have any questions.
Nikki

He might be uncomfortable. If you can't find anything wrong with his current seat(angle, straps twisted, rubbing his neck), then I'd buy a new seat. Both of my children have been in a Britax Marathon since they were 4 months and like it. Maybe somebody else can recommend a seat that seems really comfortable to their child.

DVD Player!!!!!!!!!!! That should fix it--that's all it took to get ours quiet. Sometimes modern technology has its benefits.

Check the seat, we always pay attention to the straps and security, but not comfort. Pay particular attention to the back of it. Rub your hands over the back. Move the seat while you are feeling it. Check the rest of the seat. if you are satisfied that there is nothing, try lining the seat with a cushioned lamb skin or something as soft. He may be having an uncomfortable ride back there.
It's worth a try.

Please don't change his seat to forward facing until he meets both the weight and age requirement. Even if he meets the weight requirement early, his skeletal system may not be advanced enough to prevent additional injuries if you are involved in a car accident before the age of 12 months. I'd rather remember my boys screaming in their seat than endanger them in a possible car accident.

Which way is the sun in his face? OneStepAhead.com sells dark oval sunshades that have suction cups to put it in your back window if you drive a sedan style car. My oldest screamed every ride until I realized he was facing the sun out the back window of the car (it took me 3 months to realize this--boy was I smart-LOL).

Large shatterproof mirrors from Walmart/Kmart can be safety-pinned to your back seat so he can see more and you can see him in your rear-view mirror.

Also, a sheet safety pinned to the back seat that has small clear pockets/squares that you can put in design pieces of paper(checker patterns, swirls, stripes, slanted swirls, shapes)/pictures/etc in can give him something to look at instead of a solid color seat. Rotate the paper and pictures weekly.

Different music CDs also is a possibility. Classical music might work or even try www.brightervision.com which has a monthly book/activity book/cd that can be delivered to your mail that has GREAT age appropriate CDs for the kids to listen to. Of course, maybe it was the fact that I was concentrating to learn the words to the kids songs, instead of letting my son's crying get on my nerves, that helped me. :)

Good luck, this too will soon become just a memory of his childhood for you.

Hi K.,
Both of my kids were like this in the car seat too. I tried everything you did and nothing consoled them, not even sitting in the back with them. My sister has had the same issue with her 4 kids as well. I know many parents can get their kids to sleep this way, but for me, the car seat was only an exercise for their lungs. I think they are just mad to be in the car seat period. It gets a lot better when you can turn them facing forward at 12 months and they can see what is going on. Frustrating, I know - we hardly went anywhere b/c it just wasn't worth the stress. On the bright side, you can save some gas money! Good luck!

Does he sit in the middle? Try sitting him next to the window so he can see outside. My baby girl cannot sit in the middle because she gets motion sickness. Maybe that will help.

Good Luck.

I know this sounds crazy, but it wasn't until I was much older did my parents realize I was car sick. Do you have cool air vents in the back for him? Blow them directly on him. Also, mke sure the seat is installed properly. I know he's 8 months old but just call the local Hospital/Fire Dept. most usually have someone just for that job. I did it and my son was much happier. Also, you might try another seat. I only like Graco. The one we have now is about 5 months old and my son love's it. It seems a little big when you first see it, but he is so comfortable. It is the Graco-G-Galore pattern. We liked it because it has a recline feature. It is very well padded also. This seat is for 1 year and up however I just remembered that--so sorry. But do try the vents blowing it really does help. Or maybe try some toys that hang on the back of the seat that he can see and touch. I still to this day get sick riding in the back, unless I have ventilation and lots of it.

I have gone through same thing as you except all 3 of my babies did that until they were big enough to face forward in the car. That was really the only thing that helped them and me. I literally thought I would go crazy unitl then. If he weights enough you might want to get him a new car seat and try that.

Best wishes,
J.

You may not like this but it worked for us. We went out and bought a dvd player for the car and let our son watch baby einstein and educational cartoons. It worked like a charm no more fusing and crying and screaming. They are great investment, especially for travel. Let me know how it goes.

M.

29 yr old sahm with a 3yr old son.

My daughter did this, all I can say is it gets better with age. She's 17 months and occasionally screams. I think it has to do with not being able to see what's going on and being restrained. Now that she can look out the back window, she does better. You could try some of the toys for car rides. Maybe a mirror? My daughter also loved Pachelbel's "Canon in D" and the song "Bubbly", so needless to say we played them often. He'll figure out how to occupy himself when you are unable too. The more he does it the better it will get. Hope this helps.

My first loved the car but my now 21 month old use to hate being in his car seat also.He wouldn't last but a few minutes before he cried all the way there and back.Sometimes it would help to give him food like gerber granola bars for babies that are soft or something he could hold himself and his sippy cup but it was only temp.He end up growing out of it but I think it had something to do with having his big brother in the backseat playing with him that made him enjoy the car rides more.You can ask your doctor to pres. something for motion sickness but otherwise just let him cry it out and let him adjust to it on his own.I don't really totally agree with buying a television for your car just to cope with a crying baby,especially since you prob don't want him getting use to you jumping through hoops and spending that kind of money on entertainment just for a short time of peace in the car.It can def. be fixed with time and you def. wouldn't want to put it in and that still not do the trick.I say stick it out for a bit longer and try to tune him out the best way u can with the radio,get back in the front seat and let him learn to cope with it.It might also be that the car seat is uncomfortable,why not try to sit him in it when it's not in the car and see if his reaction is the same.Like my son he may just hate being restrained in one spot and might take some getting use to before he learns it's no so bad to sit still for a little while.

My younger son did the same thing. He didn't like his highchair much either, but it wasn't as bad as the carseat. He just didn't like being restrained in any way. It did get better as he got older. Sometimes one of us in the backseat worked. Toys and music usually just made him even more angry whereas they worked on my older son. You might want to turn on the a/c and hold a bubble wand to the vent and fill the car with bubbles- have your passenger do this one. It will get better.

One thing we find that has helped is white noise--tune your radio to a static station and turn it up and see if that helps.

Best wishes

My son was like this too, There was never anything that could be done for him. If you think he might be getting carsick you should tell your dr, but if hes not throwing up it might bethat he just dosent like it. For my boy, I just ended up having to let him cry it out. As soon as we got to our destination, and he was out, he was always fine. Sorry i couldnt be more help, But he will grow out of it eventually!

Nothing! lol. Actually all of my kids did this. I am hoping for just ONE baby to not do this, but alas, this is normal. The only thing that helped was when they turned a year old and was able to face forward. Still, they didn't like the car seat, but it was much more manageable.

Well, my uneducated guess would be that you are right, he may be getting car sick. Unfortunately, the best way to help with car sickness is going to be difficult to do with an eight month old. Generally, what causes car sickness is that the body senses that it is in motion, but the environment looks stationary. Maybe you could try putting colorful stickers or something similar on the windows to encourage him to look out of the window. Sometimes having the window open just a smidge can help too. (I hate riding in a car when all the windows are rolled up, it makes me queezy.) You could even try turning the A/C fan to a higher setting to get the air in the vehicle circulating.
Basically, his eyes and/or body need to be able to concur with the fluid in his ears that is telling him that he is in motion.
For some people, riding in a car gives the same sensation as closing your eyes and spinning around in circles. Yikes!
I know that there is a device that treats nausea (without medication) called a Reflief Band, but I don't know if it is safe for infants and small children. It's a device that looks like a wristwatch that emits small electromagnetic pulses that calm the stomach. Maybe you could look into it.
That's about all I can come up with at the moment. Hopefully someone else can offer you some better advice. LOL Good luck!

I am a mother of three with one more on the way. I have found that ALL children behave differently in the car. My middle child, for instance, was exactly like your son. She hated riding in the car and screamed the entire way! It was awful. I can so understand your despair. There IS hope. When she was big enough (one year and more than 20 pounds), we turned her around with a new car seat, and she was like a new child. She never screamed in the car again. Obviously, her total problem with the car was just facing backward. Unfortunatley, she has always been very small for her age so we didn't get to turn her around until she was 16 months old, but it definitely solved the problem. I hope this helps you. God Bless and Good Luck.

I had the same problem with our son. Nothing worked, I tried EVERYTHING. I hate to tell you, but I just had to wait for him to grow out of it. He still doesn't enjoy the carseat, but he manages better. I will tell you that it got better once we were able to turn the carseat around and he could see us and the world around him. Good luck.

try buying a car seat a thing that you put on the window

I think that this is just a stage some babies go through. I remember my daughter, & my best friend's son doing the same thing around that age. My daughter's grandmother bought her a DVD player for the car & I was amazed how much she loved it. She was only 7-8 months old, & would really watch it. I would definitely recommend the DVD player as an option. Blue's Clues & Elmo are 2 good choices for that age. Good Luck.

We had the same problem with our 9 month old up until a few months ago. I don't think it's car sickness as much as it might be boredom and frustration. We tried everything you have too, but I finally found a combination that did the trick. We tried them all at once, so it's possible that one of them would have worked itself, but they are worth a shot. We slightly loosened his car seat straps so he didn't feel so restrained (but he's still within the safety recommendations), we got a mirror that attaches to the backseat headrest so he had something to look at besides the back of the seat (at Wal-mart for about $15) and finally we started taking short trips to run errands that took around 10 minutes so he could get used to riding around.

I know that this can be miserable, so hang in there. Good luck!

My little boy was the same way. This was a complete opposite of my first one who was extremely fussy and car rides were about the only thing that would calm him. With this one, we pretty much limited car trips as much as possible. Now that your little one is 8 mos. old, you will likely be moving up to a convertible car seat soon. I think most infant carriers are only recommended for children up tp 20-22 lbs. Although my little one remained rear facing until one year old, it made a big difference once we changed car seats. It seems with the convertible car seat, he was sitting a bit higher in the car making it possible for him to see aroud him better. This seems to help with car sickness. Now that we have turned the car seat to a forward facing position, we no longer have a problem with it. Although when you change to a convertible car seat, you lose the convenience of the infant carrier, it is well worth it if your little one is more content. It is worth trying and you need not wait until they reach 20 lbs. Most convertible car seats can be used for infants over 5 lbs. so long as they remain rear facing until a year.

Does his seat still face the rear? I can't remember at what age they can be turned. I sometimes felt that infants may have some motiong sickness as some adults do. It would sure make me sick to ride backwards! I do know that we put our granddaughter in facing front a little sooner than we should. And my grandson at 11 months I think. Not sure what the law is on that.

I feel your pain! boy did I HATE to hear Moms talk about how their babies love to ride - how it lulls them quietly to sleep etc...NOT the case with my now 2 year old son. I think my son was carsick as well (on 2 long trips he actually vomited). He HATED the car - and I had anxiety about going anywhere b/c of it. I tried one of those mirrors that attaches (you can get them that light up and play music as well). That helped a little. Honestly, once we turned him around face forward, it made all the difference. He was big, so we were able to do it weight wise before he turned a year (must be 20 lbs). Hang in there - you're doing all you can - it does get better with age, although I know that's not a huge comfort to you at the moment.

What car seat is he in? If he's in an infant car seat, it's probably getting too small for him and he's uncomfortable. Plus he'd want to sit up more, which a convertible allows him to do. If he's in a convertible - I've got nothing.