Need Advice. I Am So Tired I Want to Cry.

she's too old to actually be hungry at night. she's just waking up out of habit. I had that problem with my son. Don't feed her at night anymore, and she'll stop. if you give in, she'll keep doing it. It's so hard, but it's the only way to get some sleep!

Good luck! I feel ya!

I have done what Liisa G suggested and it works. All of my 4 children were successful with this method. It took about 2 days but it worked. Best of luck.

read Ferber cry it out method, she's old enough, the earlieryou do it the easier it will be on you both

Ferberize.

Give her motrin to make sure it isn't her teeth, and Ferberize. It sucks, but will work out better for both you and her in the end.

And if anyone tells you it's cruel, tell them it's far crueler for you to be in a car accident with all of your children due to exhaustion. The research says that sleep deprivation has the same effect on our physical and cognitive abilities as drinking alcohol. I'm assuming you wouldn't drive your kids around drunk - you can't function this tired either.

Good luck.

You might have to do CIO. I was "against" it until DD was 11months old and then I was desperate from exhaustion... and to be perfectly honest, it's actually really not cruel at all. You go in after 5 minutes of crying, don't take them out, don't say a word, just stroke their hair soothingly and leave. Go in after 10 minutes of crying, same thing. Go in after 15 minutes of crying, same thing. Until they fall asleep. The first night I think i went in for a half hour, second night one hour, third night 15 minutes. And then she was golden. I had to do the CIO steps a couple more times over then next 3 months, but she really became an awesome sleeper. She went down for bed at 7pm and would wake between 6-7am from then on. I nursed her for 25 months (but only during the day after we did the CIO method) and we are very attached :)

I'm so tired, I can't even give any advice right now... I just wanted you to know that I'm in the saaame boat. I actually woke up crying this morning because my fiance accidently woke me up an hour before the alarm would have gone off. I cried and cried and cried... and now I've turned into the short tempered dragon lady who seriously needs some beauty sleep. Hope you and I BOTH get a nap today :)

(the comment that was here previously had a bad *tone* so I removed it)
http://incultureparent.com/2010/12/why-african-babies-don...

8mo is still a baby. A baby. Not a toddler, not a child, a baby. Babies will tell you what they need and if you meet these needs everyone will be happier for it. Yes, sometimes you will feel like an all night buffet, no one promised us the first year would be easy, quite the opposite. Don't refuse to nurse, I refused to starve my kids during the night and didn't night wean until 18mo. I did this for all four of my kids. Co sleeping and nursing for us lasted a decade, and I don't regret a minute of it, because it worked (yes, I have a dd who has trouble falling back to sleep at night, but that's a separate issue, and not connected to the co-sleeping or the extended nursing, because if it was, my three other kids would have had the same problem).

Snuggle, nurse, sleep when the baby sleeps, lather rinse repeat. Good luck.

I'm sure many of us experienced breastfeeders told you last time... her growth spurt is here and cluster feeding will occur at all times until it's over. Cluster feeding for a growth spurt is not a comfort measure but a biological need to help your milk up it's production to keep up with what your baby needs.

I will say again... if you relax, allow her to sleep with you in the beginning and hold her in the crook of your arm (which means you can back and side sleep - whichever is more comfortable) - things will work itself out in a matter of a day or two.

You are fighting against what your INFANT is telling you she needs from her Mother and it is just making you miserable and your daughter too! Just relax into it... I don't understand why you are making things harder for yourself.

Babies NEED to be with their Mothers... some babies you can foist off into a room all by themselves and somehow they can cope with it - but not all babies can. Your 3rd baby is one of those who can't. Treat her like the individual she is and take care of her as she's trying to tell you how to.

You even said it... once she was in bed with you she slept the rest of the night. WHAT ELSE ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?? Your answer is right there! Would you rather get average sleep or none at all??

All she knows is to cry when she wakes herself up. She just needs to learn how to put herself back to sleep. It will take everything out of you to do this but after one or two nights you will see her gradually learning and then she will not need you to put her back to sleep. When she wakes up, just let her cry for 5 min. Set a timer if you have to. It is very difficult to do this, but you need to teach her that you will not come in to put her to sleep immediately. After 5 min, you physically lay her down and say in a sweet, soothing voice to go back to sleep. Do not pick her up, do not nurse, do not turn on a light, do not sing, do not rub, no bottle, nothing. Then let her cry for 10 min. Put on headphones if you must, but do not call out, do not say anything or let her see you. It gets harder but remind yourself that these are 10 minutes that you will get back every night once she learns. Again, do the very soft reminder for her to go back to sleep. You can even tell her you will be in your room. Then go 15 min. if you have to. It usually doesn't take that long, but some children are strong-willed. Just keep adding 5 min. The next night, start with 5 min. again. You are teaching her that you have not abandoned her but that it is not going to be worth it to her to do all that screaming when all she has to do is lay down herself and go back to sleep. It is amazing that they can learn this and you will wish you had done this sooner. You must have will power to go the entire time, increasing 5 min. It will feel like you are torturing your child. You are not. You are teaching her to self-soothe.

I learned this years and years ago when 20/20 did a program and they showed the child slowly start to lie down but then stand up and scream. Then the next time the child would start sooner to lie down, get up but then give up and lie down again. And eventually, the child would wake up turn around and go right back to sleep. They had infrared cameras so the baby didn't see the camera. It was absolutely fascinating.

Really, there is hope!

I am with all the mamas who suggest letting her cry it out. You have got to get some sleep and I think maybe she does too. I had to do some CIO with my first and the only thing was I just couldn't go in at all. It made it so much worse. It didn't take long he is a great sleeper at 3. With my second I just weaned him and I was wondering how to transition from nursing before sleep to just eating dinner and going to sleep a bit after that. Someone gave me a sound machine I never used. I pulled it out, set it to white noise and it works awesome. I suggest looking into one, I literally take him to his room, lay him down, say goodnight and leave. I set mine to run for 90 minutes. Good luck!! I hope you get some rest soon....

I concur with MB. She is old enough to work on self soothing to fall asleep. If you are feeding her enough during the day then she should be able to go all night. If you have two other children the CIO like she suggested is good. Your DD will turn the corner once she realizes that you are not her pacifier. :)

My son did that when he was younger. I finally got sick of it that I stopped goin in his room in the middle of the night.
YOu have to remember, you have a pattern started. So she is going to keep doing it until its "broken"
Now I'm not really a fan of the "Cry it out" method, but honey you might have to do that.

You know she isn't hungry, hurting etc
So Start a new pattern. Put her to bed earlier. Even if she is awake. Limit how many times you go in her room at night, if at all.
It might suck for the first few nights, but you'll be on your way to actually sleeping at night.

I think it's time to cry it out. By 8 months they definitely don't need to eat during the night, so she's just having fun with you. If you can bring yourself to do this, it will be the most miserable couple/few nights you will have, having to listen to your baby cry, but then it will be bliss.

I did it with all three of mine at 6 months, and it only took 2 nights each.

Have you tried not nursing her when she wakes up? I know it is the easiest "fix" to get her to go back to sleep but it sounds like it is just perpetuating things. You may have to really suffer for a couple of nights but after that she will likely start to get it. She may still wake up (my 2 and a half year old still wakes up at night) but at least you won't have to be an "all night buffet."

I feel your pain, as others have said. My daughter was a terrible napper until about the age of one, and as indicated above, still does not always sleep through the night.

**I want to add one last thing. Lots of people have suggested the "cry it out" method. If you are not comfortable with that at this age you could try the Baby Whisperer's version of pick-up, put down--Tracey Hogg is the author--she has several books. Pick up, put down is similar to cry it out in that you don't let your baby get up and get sung to, rocked, nursed, etc, but your baby does get to be touched and reassured physically in between.

I've had that end of my rope feeling and I have cried while begging my baby to let Mommy get some sleep.
Ideas on how to get over what ever the problems are are wonderful, but you still need some sleep and you need it NOW.
Can you hire a sitter or get a relative to come over or take the kids for the day so you can get 8 hrs of un-interrupted shut eye?
It's a survival tactic but it's such a sanity saver.

ooooh my!!!

I sooo feel your pain. My second baby was like this - hated his father for the first year of his life - wanted NOTHING to do with him - my husband was hurt and angry and everything all rolled into one. I was beat, exhausted.

We had two separate issues going on. 1. he wasn't latched on correctly. 2. he had an ear problem (he was 4 weeks early, had pneumonia and stopped breathing right there in front of me).

I didn't end up co-sleeping - however, i did start feeding him oatmeal and rice cereal at NIGHT around 830 and then i nursed him to sleep around 10PM, this helped with him staying asleep for more than 1 hour.

Have you been pumping? I ask this because one of the things I found was that my son wasn't properly latched on - and while he was getting SOME milk, he wasn't getting A LOT of milk - enough to fill his tummy - so he felt the need to continually suck on my breast - I'd pump and get full bottles out. So I started feeding him those as well. Got in touch with a lactation consultant and found that he wasn't latched on right and BADA-BING baby!!! :)

he also had underdeveloped eardrums - so he was in constant pain - he was pulling at his ears ALL THE TIME - so we went to an ENT and found that he needed tubes in his ears - another BADA-BING!!!

Talk with your pediatrician to see what he/she says about it. I am right there with you!! I truly hope you are able to get some sleep!!!!

I feel for you. I have a 17 month old with sleep issues. We co-slept for 11 months and he never learned to self soothe without nursing or being held close to me while sleeping. I had to get to the point where I was so tired and fed up with not sleeping myself (and getting kicked all night long by a toddler) that I broke down and tried the Cry it Out method. A week before the CIO - we started a set bed time routine. At 7:45pm - we would tell our son it was time for a bath - we would walk to his room, undress and put him in the bath. He got 10 minutes of play time and then we would do lavendar lotion and get jammies on. Then, we would have a small bowl of oatmeal and when he was done - we would tell him "time for night night". The first night we tried CIO - we did the routine and when we said "time for night night" - our son walked to his room and I gave him a sippy cup of warm milk and sat in the rocker with him. After about 10 minutes, he was asleep. I put him in the crib and he woke crying at 12:30am. I set the timer for 45 minutes (at that time, it was my limit) - I sat in our bedroom listening to him cry, while my husband sat in the hallway (so as to stop and comfort me if I tried to go in before the time limit). Low and behold - the crying stopped after 35 minutes and we could hear snoring on the baby monitor.

The next night - we followed the same routine and the crying was 25 minutes, then 10, then 7. After 1 week - our son usually wakes at least once during the night - cries for about 2 minutes, then soothes himself back to sleep. Our whole house is much happier.

Good luck!!!
J.

Hi Lisa, my oldest son did not sleep through the night (and there were stretches like you're having when he was up every 2 hours, maybe teeth, growth spurt, some new discovery about himself) until he was about a year old. Difference is, he was the only then and I could nap with him during the day.
Everyone here has good ideas, I don't have much to add except can Dad take a few of those wake ups?
Just want to say I remember how crazy it makes you being sleep deprived. And I certainly don't need to remind you how FAST it seems when it's over since you have older girls too. It's hard to be the patient loving Mom (wife) you want to be when you haven't gotten a decent night's sleep in 9 or 10 months!

Good Luck to you, I hope you get some rest soon!

:)

Do you give her rice cereal or yoghurt before going to bed? My daughter went through a growth spurt around that age. Before putting her to bed, I gave her a bowl of rice cereal or oatmeal and a yogurt. Then I would breastfeed her and put her to bed. Also, we keep our house kind of cool so I placed a heater in her room (make sure that it is one of those safe heaters that turns off if it gets tipped over). I hope you get some sleep soon! I remember how hard it is when you haven't slept.

First, let me admit that I've had two pretty easy sleepers. The youngest was more difficult, but still not like this. Anyway, with both, I've done what I call a modified CIO approach. I never read the Sears or Ferber books, but this worked for us -When your baby is crying, go in and pick her up. Make sure she's not dirty/wet or has anything else going on like a fever. Of course at her age a middle of the night feeding is not unusual, so at one of these times -I would pick one right in the middle of what should be her sleep cycle -feed her. When you pick her up -comfort her for a few minutes and tell her it's sleepy time and she needs to go to sleep. Put her down and leave the room. Don't go back in immediately -wait a few minutes. If she's still crying, but she's holding steady or getting down to just fussing and "half-crying" -don't go back in! She is self-comforting and will finish calming down and going back to sleep. If she is getting worse -go in and again, comfort her, but put her down and leave. Make sure she has some sort of soft taggy or lovey she can stroke for comfort -it really helps. Don't go back in there.

This is the really hard part, and it may take a week to get through, but you need some sleep! I never had to deal with either of mine after that second time except for maybe once or twice -and I just repeated the steps. I waited a good 5-7 minutes after the 2nd time as well. They started going to sleep very easily and sleeping through the night!

Another thing -pump and have dad get up. He may have to get up for work, but you have all of these kids to take care of, and it's a lot more exhausting! He can get up at least once a night!

I feel your pain! I know how awful sleep deprivation is - heck, we all do - we are all moms here! I had a very strict rule with my three babies that I think you shold follow - IGNORE her!!!!! I know it will be hard at first, but that is what you must do!!! She is 8.5 months old. That is WAY TOO OLD to be tending to her throughout the night. I firmly believe that once babies are 6 months old, they are more than capable of "holding their own" throughout the night. The moment all of my boys turned 6 months old, that was it! I put them to bed, said good night, I'll see you in the morning, and that was that! Sure they cried at first, but then it stopped.

Just make sure that you give her a good dinner, and then nurse her a half hour before bed (not right before bed- give her body a chance to digest your milk a bit). Also, make sure she burps! Finally, make sure she has warm, comfy p.j.'s and the house/her room is at a comfortable temperature. Also make sure her room is completely quiet and pitch black. So, after she ate a good dinner, nursed and burped, put her to bed at 7:00 (that's also very important - an infant should be in bed no later than 7:00), and kiss her, tell her you love her, and say "See you in the morning!" Of course she will start crying. IGNORE IT!! I will allow you to open her door for the first, maybe second night, just to comfort her for a few seconds. Do NOT pick her up! Leave her in her crib crying, pat her back and say "It's okay, it's okay." This will reassure her that you are still there. After the second night, forget about it! You do not have a baby until the next morning! I promise you she will "get it" and will stop playing you (because that is exactly what she is doing). Her sobbing WILL stop. You need to practice "tough love." She is way too old for you to be sleep deprived as if she is 1 month old. No thank you! Good luck!!!

Its time to get Dad in on things. This is what we had to do to wean my youngest overnight. It took a good week and some patience from my husband. He took the week off work. He knew he wasn't going to be getting much sleep. We sent the two older kids to grandmas so the whole house would not be awake. I slept in my bed, DH and son slept on the blow up mattress on the living rom floor. Anytime DS woke, DH took him and got him back to sleep. The first night was no big deal. The next two, however...

As long as YOU are the one going in to check on her, she is going to want to nurse. Make Dad do it. Yes, he may be tired for the week, but he will have a happy, well rested wife. That makes all the difference.

Good Luck.

I gave my boys a medium-size snack about an hour before I would put them to bed--something with enough calories to hold them over for several hours (and it also helped when I weaned them because they were used to it and it was easier to take out the before-bed nursing). I can't remember what I used to feed them, but as Rose suggests cereal might be a good idea. I sometimes get pretty hungry at night myself so try to eat something light a while before I go to sleep. Otherwise, I will wake up and feel too hungry to sleep.

With older kids needing care you probably can't nap during the day, but my 2 year old is still napping and when he does my 4 year old gets his "Sesame Street" time (on the website) and mommy rests on the couch. I'm only half-asleep (so I hear everything and he will tell me when he can't find a game he likes), but it gives me just enough rest to get through until my husband gets home. I also get pretty fried on lack of sleep. 5 hours sounds like a good night, unfortunately. Someday, we will all sleep. =)

Have you tried giving her a warm bath before bed? I know that most people will tell you not to bathe your baby daily, but I always did. The water always calmed them and made them sleep better.

Hope this helps:)

M.

Have you tried giving her a bottle with cereal before going to bed? Maybe with that she will hold off a little longer. Maybe she is just trying to get to your bed, does she have a pacifier? try that too. I thought it wouldn't be good to give my kids a pacifier because I didn't want them to get attached to it, but it was either the pacifier or me; needless to say I did the pacifier :)
Does she eat like this during the day time? If she doesn't my guess is that she wants to sleep with you, she just wants the comfort that you give her to fall asleep. So, during the day start giving her a bottle or two so she can be more comfortable with the bottle at night time.
It would help you to start transitioning now, so she starts to get used to the idea that you won't breast feed her constantly just for her to go to sleep. It doesn't sound like she is really hungry, because just 5 minutes is not enough time for her to get full. Also try the pacifier during the day time.
For the time being, while you are home with her, try to sleep while she sleeps so you can catch up on your sleep. Don't worry about your house, your sanity comes first.
Blessings

I know it's hard, but you have to be consistent. Stop bringing her in the bed. You will have a rough few nights to a week, for sure but once you get over the initial transition hump it will get better. You just have to stick to your guns!

When she wakes up let her fuss, don't go to her right away. At her age she needs to learn how to comfort herself. If she really needs you the fussing will turn into crying, then you go to her and nurse her put her down and go back to bed. She may still need 1 or 2 feedings at night, but if you nurse her then put her in her crib she will get into a routine and you will too.

My son nursed twice a night for a long time before it was only once in the middle of the night. Then even after he was weaned he would still wake once a night until he was almost 4. Most often he would go back to sleep on his own, but sometimes I would have to go in and put him back down, rub his back and leave. Lisa G. has it right, Super Nanny uses that method and it really works.

Good luck and hang in there!

If you rush in to comfort her every time she wakes up during the night she won't learn how to go back to sleep on her own. I learned this from first hand experience with my baby. I let her suck her pacifier to help her sleep at night. If she wakes up during the night she will usually cry for less than 2-3 minutes and fall back asleep on her own. I also give her a big supper at night so she'll sleep better. I know it's hard to let them cry but you have to teach them that it's okay to be without you sometimes. If she sees you peeking in at her she'll cry more thinking she needs you so be sneaky when you check in on her. You want your baby to learn independence isn't a bad thing and be able to do some things on her own like going to sleep.or else her sleeping problems will last while she's a toddler. I also let mine sleep with a teddy security blanket for comfort that seems to help give me some extra sleep in the morning because she'll play a little in her crib before she cries wanting out . You want your baby to grow and develop so she can learn that she can do some things on her own and doesn't need you for everything. This will help your sanity and her blossom. Good luck and you sound like a very caring wonderful mommy. It also sounds like she using you as a pacifier to go to sleep. Bad mistake I did the same thing with mine at first and then realized it was a vicious cycle of her waking up like yours. This problem won't go away until you stop letting her use you as a pacifier by breastfeeding because she'll cry harder everytime she wakes up and finds that your boob isn't in her mouth esepically if you let her fall asleep while nursing. It scares them because they knew when they went to sleep they were in a different environment and they wake up and they're somewhere else. I made the same mistakes. Trust me on this. I broke mine of this habit early on. Thank God. She is also 8months old and a happy loving baby who sleeps great at night.

She sounds like she is waking up hungry. She needs a little cereal in her diet and perhaps stage one foods to help keep her tummy satisfied. Anytime after 6 months.

It will get better.

are you sure she is getting enough from you? is she eating cereral durring the day? it sounds something is off. has this been her pattern for ever? if so how about letting her cry it out. see if she goes back to sleep after ten or fiffteen mins. if so great if not go get her. i know many mommas are against this as was i. until i had my second and she was so exausted and needed sleep as much as i did. i could not rock her to sleep as my son would wake her up or startle her while she was trying to fall asleep. so i felt so bad for my tired baby i set her in her crib and gave her five mins...she slept well and has since then. also things to help her sleep have dim lights in her room (enough to see to walk around if you need but mostly dark) play some white noise, i do this for both my kids and they really sleep well. we also purchaced black out shades for both kids rooms. our baby girl will sleep well if she has long sleeves and footed pj's vs. a onesie. i hope someone has the answer for you. God bless and I pray you all get some rest.

I also did not want to cosleep my BF'd infant and this age was when she was at her worst. The ability to stand and cruise made sleep more difficult and she was so much more aware that I was in the other room. I used Baby Whisperer--takes longer than CIO --but it helped in the long run. She sleeps more now than she did as an infant. Takes a 2-2.5 hour nap as a 2.5 year old and sleeps 10-11 hrs. a night. As a baby, lucky is she would take 45 min. naps and slept like 9 hours a night? She has relapses like any kid when sick or during travel etc. but when I go back to the techniques in Baby Whisperer she gets back to normal eventually. Good luck

I ran into this. I started sleep training and CIO with the Weissbluth method at 9 months when he was getting me up every 1-2 hours :( I had wanted to start earlier but he got sick at 7.5 mos so I waited till his weight was back up. I worked full time (50 hrs a week) and had a 2 year old at the same time. I couldn't function anymore. We picked 1 feeding a night and made him cry through it till he went back to sleep (on advice of his pediatrician). Did that for a few days, then worked on another one until eventually he was not getting up at all anymore at night by 10 mos (sleeping 715-7 and taking 2 naps). It was hell and we had to deal with our 2 year old waking up in the early days of it and going to calm HER (they were thankfully in separate bedrooms) but it worked well and he is still AOK sleeping 8-7 at 2 years old. We are expecting #3 in May. We had no idea what to do either as our daughter started sleeping 12 hours at night on her own at 12 weeks....it was a whole new ballgame with our DS :)

Best wishes and good luck to a fellow zombie mommy!

Hi Mama-

I skimmed through some of the comments and I am hoping that my take on this is a bit different... Both my children were sleeping through the night around 7 to 8 months. Both my children were also exclusively BFed.

My first concern is the lack of acceptance of a bottle. The reason I say this is because I actually used the bottle to "break" the night time feedings (which I'll explain in a minute). I would focus on this aspect first. With my DD, I learned that baby is getting a bottle once a day early on in life! With DD who was eclusively BFed (no bottle) the first 4 months of her life, I had to go 5 days without BFing her directly. I had to pump each session which was bottle fed to her. Basically the doctor told us that it was a preference thing and that we had to "break" her so to speak. I will not tell you that this porcess was easy. I am actually not sure who cried more - her from being hungry (she went 14 hours the first time we tried to give her the bottle) or me from the raging hormones and the inability to comfort her! I can give you more details, but I have posted about this experience several times. I can also give you details if you message me.

Once the bottle aspect is accomplished, then you can work on the night feedings. In general, at 8 months or so, these night feedings are more hibitual than necessary. I support this based on what the doctors' have said to us about this time - specifically asking if the baby and us are sleeping through the night. What I do is send in hubby with the bottle of BM. Generally, Daddy is not the same snuggly that Mama is - now this does not mean that he is not cradling the baby or comforting the screams or anything else since he loves the kids just as much as I do - it is just different. When the baby realizes that they are not getting that Mama time, they realize it is sleepy time and will slowly begin to drop those feedings. You will find them compensating in other ways though - maybe more clingy or eating/nursing more often during the day but they will begin to sleep.

With my son, I had to introduce formula into the equation with the last feeding of the day. Not sure if any other mothers have mentioned this, but it did seem to hold him longer than the breast milk. We also discovered I was preggo for a third time about this time so I am not sure my milk supply/quality was adequate for the overnight hours. We did not have this issue with my daughter though and her and I nursed until she was about 15 months.

Lastly, I am not sure how you are monitoring your baby's night time activities. If you are still using a monitor, ditch it. I found that often the baby will wake up during the night and fuss, but not really /need/ attention, but as a mama, I almost always reacted and went into the room, even if it was "just to check" on them. Once they saw me, that was it - they wanted to be picke up and held and to nurse. This was not really the same as CIO since if they were screaming, I could usually hear that and would respond immediately. There is a definate difference between fussiness and screaming for attention.

Good luck!
I hope you get some rest soon.
~C.

I have two little boys (21 months and 3 1/2) and both of them were like this around that age. They just want their mommy, and nursing is out of habit and comfort at night, not necessity. I absolutely do NOT like to listen to them cry and it breaks my heart a little, but it always works. Set a time that you think she should be sleeping (for instance, she needs to go 4 hours or 6 or whatever you are comfortable with). If she wakes up and calls for you/cries, etc, before you've reached that time threshold, then let her fuss herself back to sleep. Babies really are learning at this age how to self-soothe. Make sure she has a nice soother toy with lights and music in her crib that she can push, and a very small lovey blanky or paci, etc. And then put in ear plugs and just remember you are doing this FOR her and for you, so she can become a good sleeper.

This strategy is what has always worked for me in the 8 to 12 month timeframe. I wish you the best of luck! I know how draining and frustrating it is to be sleep deprived and to not know how to fix it. I have a new baby due in 5 weeks and I'm afraid I'll be right there with you soon!

Good luck - K

Hi, I am going through the same thing with my 9 month old. I can get her to sleep at a decent time, but she wakes up in the middle of the night. She was sleeping through the night for two or three months, but the past three months she has been getting up every night one or two times. My mom and my husband have tried getting her back to sleep, but I am the only one that can console her back to sleep by nursing. So tired! I actually had marked on the calendar the last time she slept through the night, Dec. 13!

However, the past three nights she has slept through. I have tried different variations - night light, no light, sleep sack, no sleep sack, nighttime diapers, etc. When I would go in, she has been standing or sitting too. The sleep sack has at least kept her from standing. I have also adjusted the temperature so it is 72 degrees in there, thinking maybe it was too cold. I had started to wean her a bit from breast milk, so I have made a more conscious effort to breastfeed more during the day every three hours or so. And finally,I have been giving her a meal - fruit and veggies and/or cereal around 9 p.m. I know it is seems really late, but I was desperate to try something. I have my fingers crossed for you, and hope you find the combination that works. Getting a full night of sleep is priceless!

Also, I tried making her CIO over the weekend. We were both up from 2-6 a.m., when I finally gave up and brought her to bed with me.

I really hope you don't listen to all of what momof3 H. said. Putting a six month old baby in a pitch black room is sooo cruel. I pray that you don't do that. Also If you end up doing CIO don't just check on her once and that's it. CIO is a process and not a chance to ignore child, tired or not. Technically that can count as abandonment. What if in all that screaming she got her foot stuck in the crib and broken it? With as much screaming as CIO produces, it's sometimes hard to tell what a hurt cry and a I want you cry. Especially if you don't check on her at all.
Proper CIO is you rock her for a bit, put her in the crib with a light light and maybe a white noise maker. My son can't sleep without one. (maybe you can try that too) let her cry for a minute, come in and comfort with out picking her up for 30 seconds and then going out for 2 then go in for 30 second. Every you time you go out, increase it by a couple minute. Some start at 5 and go in again at 10. I think that's too cruel, but the timing can be up to yours to choose. But hopefully not just flat out ignoring.
I personally think CIO is cruel all around. What I do is rock for a few minutes, put him in his crib, and sit back down in the rocker and leave when he falls asleep. After a week of sitting in the rocker, I move a bit closer to the door. Week after that, I move a bit closer, so on and son on till I'm out the door. It is a process, but I think it eases things. Some people like to ease, some like to CIO. I hope you can find something that works.
I do feel you pain though. For a month my son would wake up every hour and he was 6 months at the time. I did try CIO then and didn't like it and didn't work with him. So I feel it's also depending on the baby. Some babies temperaments just aren't cut out for CIO,

Not sure if you've gotten this answer but what about talking to the lactation specialist at the hospital?? While you don't have any problem nursing, this does sound like an unusual problem. Maybe she could offer ideas, I'm sure this would be something she could answer or she could find some solutions for you. Best of luck to you-I'm sorry you're not getting rest. I'm a bear when I don't get sleep so I can't imagine.

My oldest didn't start to sleep well until he was nearly 4. And from #3s behavior, I think something changes at the 8 month mark that means they DO need us more (growth spurt? teething? self-awareness?). #3 slept like a champ (well, based on what I was used to:) UNTIL he was 8 months old! I hope you get some advice that suits you & works for you.

(Mine would have been co-sleeping. I can see it's not for you....but it may be worth pointing out that while you don't sleep well if you co-sleep, you're not exactly sleeping well NOW. In the end, we did it with all 3 kiddos, but in the beginning, it was because without it, I got NO sleep at all.)

Anyhow...hang in there and know that - no matter what - this won't go on forever!

p.s. I often refer people with complicate family issues to the "Adoptive Familes" website but it occurs to me that you might find something useful from the adoptive community as well. Many adopted kids have sleep issues, CIO is heavily recommended AGAINST, and while co-sleeping is recommended where legal, the community recognizes that it's not for everyone. Here's a useful (and funny) place to start: http://www.adoptmed.org/topics/sleep-and-adoption.html

GOOD LUCK!

My daughter is eight months old. We DID cosleep, and I had this very problem...all night long. It wasn't until I put her into the playpen to sleep (we don't have a crib, but a play pen in our room that I had intended to use for her) that she started sleeping in 3-4 hour stretches...and I think that's pretty good.

Honestly, I think it's unrealistic to expect an 8 month old (or 6, or 4) to sleep through the night...I've never personally known anyone who had a child who did it.

But I hear you...it got to the point where I just wasn't sleeping well at ALL (even though she was)...

My advice is to cut back on naps, slowly, so she's down to two naps, and NONE of them after five o'clock. Keep her up and play and be active after dinner, hold off ALL feeding after dinner until you'd like her to go to bed, and then give a bath, then feed. (Are you feeding very frequently during the day, in shorter lengths? She may be used to taking "too small" meals more frequently.) I usually have my baby down by this method by 7 or 8.

She wakes up at 10 or 11 to eat, I feed her, and put her back...and then go to bed right away! She's usually up again at 2 or 3, and if my husband is awake, sometimes he will give her a bottle. In fact, I got so stressed out by exactly what you're going through that I bought a can of formula and said "please do this only in the middle of the night."

After about a week of that, for some reason, it seemed like she started stretching it out longer...so we quit giving the formula and I just get up to feed her...turn on the instant netflix, watch something only I like, and nurse her back to sleep. Then I go back to bed, until I have to get up at 7.

Just try it...it's what worked for me. I cut back on naps, no nursing after dinner until after bath and it's bedtime, fed again at my bedtime, and once during the night.

I still only get 3-4 hours of sleep at a time, but I feel like a totally refreshed woman.

Have you tried crying it out? I know its hard..and will take a few days, but it will get better. I did this with my twin girls around 4 months and they did great. The longest we went was 18 min.( We had a limit of 20 min) Good luck!

I have been where you are for months and months. We have some better nights and some worse nights, but I'm here to tell you I've tried every single piece of advice people have given me, from cry-it-out to total attachment and nothing works. But here are a few things I've noticed: sometimes when things are worse, it's related to his teething and sometimes it's because he's had fluid in his ears. Try taking her to the doctor just to make sure there's no ear infection, but it's probably just going to keep going like this for a very long time. I've personally given up. He'll sleep one day, probably when he's 2 or 3 and in the meantime, I'll cry every night at some point because he won't get off my boobs.

We are having the same problem with my son (7 months old). He's a big boy and I know I'm not making enough breastmilk to keep him full but he should sleep through the night regardless of hunger. The problem is that he can't soothe himself back to sleep. It's taken me about a week but we seem to be improving. When he wakes up (at 12, 2, 4, & 6), I go in the room flip him over and pat his butt until he falls back asleep (usually a minute or two). No talking, singing, nothing but a gentle pat. Then I've slowly backed off the patting. This morning he woke up, cried for a second, but put himself back to sleep. YEAH!! Now he will toss, turn, whatever, but can sleep at least 6-8 hours on his own. Progress. Good luck!! It's EXHAUSTING but there is hope!

I personally would try the cry it out method. Your baby already has learned that if she crys you will get her right away. If you know she is not hungry and doesn't need to be changed or is sick; let her cry it out 1 or 2 night and she will get it! You both need your sleep! She is just using you for comfort instead of a pacifier. I would let her cry it out and try different pacifers to put in her bed and see. Yes, the first few nights will be tough on all, but she will get the picture and start to sleep. Hope you are able to figure it out. I know it is tough! Hang in there girl! Is there anyone you could ask to watch your kids at night for you once or twice so you could have a really good nights sleep? Best of luck to you!

there is a book that helped me out a lot! In fact, the first day I followed it's guidelines, my son slept through the night. (he was about 7 months old) The book is called Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. the book taught me a lot about sleep patterns for babies etc...very informative. good luck, I know your struggling.

Updated

there is a book that helped me out a lot! In fact, the first day I followed it's guidelines, my son slept through the night. (he was about 7 months old) The book is called Healthy Sleep Habits Happy. the book taught me a lot about sleep patterns for babies etc...very informative. good luck, I know your struggling.

I know I'm a very new mom, but with all of the reading fresh in my memory (and bookmarked!) it sounds as if your little one is going through a growth spurt. Although every baby is different 7 days, 3 weeks, 6 weeks and so on are the 'main growth spurt times' so don't put off trying to feed your little one. Even if she eats an ounce or two it's probably what her little tummy needs. Try going back to the basics and mix an ounce of rice/oatmeal cereal to an ounce of milk/formula. It's going to be very tiring on you. Just think of when she, as well as your two others, were newborns...not much sleep right? I have the books handy if you'd like a reference to read for yourself or get other tips. I hate to say it but strap in for a few more long nights. I know you're busy with the other two also, but if possible sleep when she sleeps to maximize your rest! If there's anyone to help with the house chores and meal planning (family, friends, neighbor, church members, the other munchkins) take advantage of it!! You probably already know this but when you're stressed your little one can sence it and in turn gets stressed herself, therefore making it difficult to sleep. I know with my little guy when his daddy is gone for a few days and I'm exhausted if I don't relax while in my mind I'm completely tired and frustrated he can tell and it's very hard for him to sleep/relax. Like I said, I know I'm very new at this but I hope this info helps!!
HANG IN THERE!! YOU'RE DOING GREAT!!

I will never forget this as long as I am alive. It happened to me, too. However, someone gave me some advice that I will pass along to you. YOU wake up your baby a couple of nights in a row before she does. They will begin to expect that and eventually continue to sleep while they are assuming you will wake them up.No guarantees about anything however- It is worth a try isn't it?

Is she crying when she wakes up? Why are you trying to feed her all the time? If she's not crying, let her enjoy her quiet time and put herself back to sleep. Or maybe you can read to her. I agree that our babies tell us who they are and what they need, but it's not clear to me here that your baby is saying anything at all. (Sorry--maybe I should go back and get more info from the original buffet post.)