Need Advice from Women Who Have Quit Smoking

Updated on January 03, 2012
T.K. asks from Grand Prairie, TX
8 answers

My coworker is trying to quit. She is inconsoalable. She's very emotional about it. She's been smoking for 25 yrs and she sees it as a big part of her identity. Interestingly enough, she had lapband done and lost a ton of weight and that wasn't emotional for her. She had no problems adjusting her self view for weight, but smoking is so tied to her self concept that she is lost. What advice can you give her for the emotional part of not smoking anymore?

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P.R.

answers from Dallas on

It is a physical addiction as well as emotional. Nicotine is one of the most effective antianxiety drugs, that is why it is so addictive and hard to let go. It is more than will power. She will need to learn how to manage her stress and anxiety in a different way. Meditation, yoga, exercise. She can carry with her celery sticks or carrots when she is craving a cigarrete, they seem to help with cravings for some reason. She may fail one day and give in, tell her to start again right after she puts that cigarrete off. To take it day by day and slowly her body and mind will get used to being without.
It is a different process for everyone and she need to be kind with herself because she is making the right choice for herself. It can be done.
Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Some people suggest a One Day At A Time concept. Or even a One HOUR At A Time if need be.

You tell yourself, today is AWFUL, but I will NOT smoke, if during the day tomorrow it's WORSE, you think if it's this awful Tomorrow, I'll smoke. But TODAY I will NOT smoke. The next day you try the same thing.

There are meds that can help of course. And a patch.

Maybe you can remind her that every day she DOES NOT smoke, is WAAAY better than NO days of not smoking.

Mostly it's behavior modification. Generally it needs to be replaced with something else.

So yeah, I know a lot about it. Quitting is easy, I do it all the time, sigh.

Tell her she'll be my hero.

:)

4 moms found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Does she WANT to quit smoking?
Becuase unless she WANTS to (not "thinks or knows she should"), so won't do it. Period.

If she WANTS to do it, she'll figure out - for herself, no one can help her with this - who she is as a non smoker.

You can't really help her with this, other than be supportive when she's complaining. When she WANTS to stop, the emotional component is gone, because she's ready to get rid of it.
Does that make sense?

I quit cold turkey 10 yrs ago, and haven't picked up a smoke in all of that time. I was ready to let it go, and never looked back.
She has to be there, in order to be successful. From what you're describing, she's not ready.

3 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from New York on

I quit cold turkey when I got pregnant with my first daughter at the end of 2005. I haven't gone back. I had prior to that smoked since I was a teenager. Not a pack a day, but about 5 - 10 cigs a day. I think she has to just decide she is ready to quit. Not too much else complicated about it. She has to be ready to quit.

2 moms found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

She needs a good support person(s) or group. I had smoked for most of my life. I started at 14 and tried to quit a few times, but now I am smoke free for a few years. I can relate to her emotional attachment, it was hard for me at first. I had done it for so long. She needs to find a hobbie or something to keep her hands busy. She really needs to be ready to quit, a lot of it is retraining your brain to do something else.

I can also tell you that I still want to smoke on occasion and I know people that quit 30 years ago (my mom) that still crave it sometimes. It gets to be less and less as time goes by, but the first two weeks were the worst.

2 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

T. - For ME smoking and my weight have kind of gone together. I know it sounds ridiculous, but for me that's how it was!
I would go to the gym and pound out two hours of hard work and I lost 100lbs on my own. BUT, every single day I would go to the gym I would get in my car (if the kids weren't with me) or get home and light a smoke OR two!! How stupid is that?! I would smoke so I wouldn't eat.
I am back on the weight loss journey, this time as a non-smoker and it is so so so hard. I feel like I need something for my mouth to do! I quit because I was pregnant with my daughter and haven't smoked since and it is HARD sometimes. It has been a year and 9 months and I still crave a smoke every now and then. (I went from a pack a day for 15 years to nothing...cold turkey)
I propose that her weight and smokes and closely related.
L.

2 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Houston on

I quit smoking 4 years ago after a 14 year habit. I have lots of advice on HOW to quit, but since she has already quit and is in that hard stage I have very few things to say.

~ it's not going to be easy to retrain your life as a non smoker, but it will get easier, much easier..... Soon,.soon it won't feel like she's missing a part of her hand -and down the road it will disgust her.

~ most important!--- she can never have a puff again. Not one, if she does it will only start over the process or make her a smoker again. Never a puff again,.

2 moms found this helpful

D.F.

answers from San Antonio on

Life after smoking is hard. I quit 3 yrs ago when i saw my MIL in the hospital with lung cancer. I took Chantix, but I don't recommend it. It made me very unstable emotionally. But once I DECIDED I was quitting, I just did it.
Why is she quitting?? If she is this emotional about it, it won't last.
I had already made life style changes, like no smoking in the house. No smoking after I ate. I hated the smell on my clothes and my hair. I had also smoked 25 yrs, but I was getting tired of it. So when my MIL got sick, it was just another reason to stop.
Good luck with your friend
D.

1 mom found this helpful
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