Sounds like she has had a lot go on for her in the past month. Being sick, weaning off the breast and trying to find some independance on top of it.
Not waking at night to eat is fine, in fact she shouldn't have been to begin with. You were her pacificier at night when she woke. So be glad for sleeping through the night now!!
Not taking much bottle is normal for this age as well. Most of her food intake should be from baby food/table food at this point. By this age for my son he was only taking about 12-14 oz a day of formula. The rest was table food. And also, I started mixing his bottles with whole milk and formula gradually so by time he was 1yr he was on whole milk all the time.
And as far as not wanting to hold her own bottles and feeding herslef. Welcome to little Miss Independant!! She may not want to hold her bottle because she is not happy about the weaning, but she will get over it. A good sippy cup to try (it was the only one my son would take at frist as well) is the Gerber trainer. It has a blue spout on it and one cup even has movable handles. And for self feeding, let her go for it!! Get a good mat (we have a computer mat under his chair) for under her chair and get some good bibs (Dex pocket bibshttp://www.babyearth.com/dex-products-dura-bib-stage-2.html
at Kmart rock!! And Walmart has their version too that are just as good.) Also, you have older children in the house and she is probably at the age where she wants to be like them! This is something else my son did since he had an older sister to follow.
Don't worry about how many oz she takes in. As long as she is eating regular food and is happy, she is fine. Just remember the saying--A child never starved themselves. Just offer her plenty of healthy, easy for her to self feed food and watch her go from baby to little person!!