Need Advice - Chula Vista, CA

Updated on July 28, 2008
I.F. asks from Chula Vista, CA
31 answers

I have a 7 year old son who is very active, smart but unable to get along well with his same age group. At school, I was told that he have a behavior issues and unable to follow direction and unable to communicate well. He is now on Speech Theraphy but School Psychologist stated that my son may have autism? There is No Way that I can tell that my son may have it bec. he does very well at home. Any suggestion is greatly appreacited.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would have him evaluated to rule out Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)/ Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) which is not autism.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.W.

answers from San Diego on

Find a proffesional. Go to the Fleet and Family Support Center and ask about special needs. They are good at that type of information and will get you some help.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

The only way to know for certain is to get him into his doctor for a physical and pyschological evaluation. If the doctor suspects this may be the case, get him into a neurologist ASAP.
I'd be wary of his idea though. Not to down play children who are autistic, but it seems like autism is the "new" diagnosis going around these days. I think in some cases, children are misdiagnosed when it may be ADHD or simply bad behavior. Get a complete exam so you know for sure. Research both autism and ADHD so you know what they consist of-symptoms, behaviors, etc. Take notes and be observent. if your son get a diagnosis you need to be well educated about it.
Perhaps enroll him in more disciplined activites such as karate to help his focus and listening skills.
Tell your husband thank you for his service!

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from San Diego on

is the father on deployment? is it that he's fine @ home or do you just not see what other ppl see? if he is indeed acting up in school, it could be a # of things. 1st I find, the child may be too far away of kids his age & by that I mean intelligence, & whatever the teachers are doing in school is just too slow for him. The real way to fix the problem is to keep his mind working all the time. Get him lots of activity books, word challenge, puzzles, things that make him think. Play consintration w/ playing cards, remember that game used to play as a kid, this a good game for kids w/ over acitve mind. Challenge him, talk to him as you would an adult, answer all his question, I bet he asks alot. He probably doesn't like to go outside much, does he? He like computers, cartoons, staying in the house and helping out w/ the chores? If not, ok, if so, humor him, slowly he will start to change to fit his age group. You'll see.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.W.

answers from San Diego on

Do a little research on Asperger's syndrome to see if there might be a fit. Asperger's is on the autism spectrum and what you are explaining here are some typical signs. The difference between home and school could be your greater acceptance of his uniqueness. Whatever it is, don't delay on seeking therapy or treatment. The earlier there is intervention, the better his likelihood of learning to fit in with peers, be successful socially and manage the "challenges" of school life.

BTW, Asperger's/Autistic people are usually very high on the intellectual scale, so no one is challenging his intelligence. Many highly intelligent people have an terrible time managing their lives.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi I.,

First thing is to go to www.tacanow.org Start reading the information on that group.

Another thing to do is to remove all dyes, preservatives and MSG from your child's diet. That affects so many of our kids.

So many things you can do at this point and independent accessments are important but start at www.tacanow.org

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Private industry pays much better than schools. Take your son to your pediatrician and ask him where to get your son evaluated. Don't trust the schools to do a complete workup on your son. Schools are way under-staffed and over-worked. Be proactive and first get a good diagnosis.

Best of luck!
N.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Las Vegas on

I had a simialr problem. My son just didn't fit in. He was just as smart as the other kids but they just didn't get him. He didn't get them either. I had him evaluated by an occupational therapist and a speech therapist. They said he was okay just a bit immature. We decided to keep him in the same grade for another year. That did the trick. He just wasn't as mature socialy and verbaly as the other kids in his class that were his age. Now he is much more confident and happy. He has friends!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from San Diego on

Ask your family doctor for a referral to a pediatric clinical psychologist who will conduct a number of tests and will take 4-5 hours with your son, and probably 2-3 visits, before even thinking of such diagnosis. I believe your school psychologist may have rushed to offer an opinion. These days, any unusual behavior falls in the autism category. Go the the BEST doc... settle for no less! Good luck! Ali

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Start with talking to your pedatrician about your concerns. If he is high-functioning austic, it could be a reason for some of the behaviors they are seeing in the classroom. Often austic children can well in the home setting. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your regional center can also point you in the right direction and have him evaluated properly by different therapists.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I.,

I have an 11 year old son who is high functioning autistic. He could not get along with other kids in a preschool so we had him diagnosed at 3 years old. It is very important that you have him tested - it is important so that you know how best to support him. Whether or not he has some form of autism, there are social skills groups that are great in working kids in teaching them how to interact with other kids in a fun a way. My son goes to Chris Mulligan in Santa Monica ###-###-####). If you are not near there, Chris may know others closer to you. I don't wish anyone a kid with autism, however my son has been a gift - if you are open to it (which it sounds like you are), you can learn so much through supporting your son. The Help Group in Sherman Oaks, CA is a great support organization.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from San Diego on

hi
i wrote you a personal message please let me know somehow if you recieved it.i see here that everone has advised you go to a neurologist /which is good but as i said in my personal note please go to a pediatric endocrinologist too.no one knows about the disorder my son has but 1 out of every 5oo men have it.it is very simelar to autism.god bless you

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

I.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your son may also be just "gifted", if the diagnosis is that he is gifted....then there are books and lots of literature that helps you understand a child like that...gifted children usually have problems with kids their own age. Some teachers don't know how to properly respond to children like that, but many are very good at it....our son has been lucky and had more good teachers than not in his public school.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from San Diego on

The same thing happened with my nephew. He is older than your son, but when he was toddler age, they said that he had autistic traits. He is now in high school and able to work at a part time job. His main delay is socialization. I would keep after the school to have him tested for special needs and do an IEP if needed. Also, mention this to his dr. and see what can be done. Good luck in your situation.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

My oldest son has Asperger's Syndrome (which is considered a high-functioning autism spectrum disorder), and is also extremely smart. He often does better in familiar settings with fewer people, like home. I agree that your best bet is to get an outside evaluation, preferably with someone who has experience with autistic spectrum disorders. (A good website to check out is www.thehelpgroup.org--they are located in Los Angeles--for information.) The good news is that there are many helpful interventions, such as speech therapy, social skills groups, and behavioral therapy, that can make a real difference. My son was diagnosed when he was 4 and now, 4 years later, he's doing so well that I rarely tell people who don't know already that he is "on the spectrum." If you can get support through the school, then that can also help. The label doesn't really matter--it is getting the help that your son needs that is important. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.S.

answers from San Diego on

Hi I.,

First, let me just say, my heart goes out to you. It is really difficult when your child is having issues at school.

My son has autism (he is now 10)........one of the best things I've done throughout this process, is to have him evaluated by a child Neuropsychologist. He was able to give us great insight about his needs and help us choose the right school placement. It has made a world of difference.

I'm going to give you his name and number; Dr. Robert Gray ###-###-####. email: ____@____.com

In the event that you choose someone else for the evaluation, I highly, highly, highly recommend an independant evaluation. Please do not rely on the school district to choose the placement for your son.

I also have an amazing advocate, if you are interested.

I wish you all the best,

N.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I went through a similar situation with my daughter, who just turned 6. She has a small spectrum of autism which really isn't a big deal, but it does make things more challengin in a classroom situation for her. They had a inhouse assessment done by a therapist and we had one done by the public school district since her private Christian school basically said "she is not a good fit for them". It's very disheartening. We are in the midst of also getting her assessed through a private group, called the The Center for Developing kids. I believe my daughter will need some Occupational Therapy and the views from public school district and private groups are very different. So we are looking at all aspects. So my suggestion to you is to have your child assessed and see if he falls into a certain category. If you go on the website for the Center of Developing children, I believe they have a checklist and you can start from there. There are other websites to. You are the best advocate for your child and the more knowledge you have, the more you will know how to help him. Take one day at a time. Best wishes!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.R.

answers from San Diego on

If the school suspects he has Autism, have your pediatrician refer you to a child psychiatrist (not psychologist). Ask for a FULL evaluation. I see many students where the doctor simply "takes a look" at the child in their office, asks the parent a few questions, opens the diagnostic manual and calls that a diagnosis. I have seen kids that are misdiagnosed as a result. Once you have the evaluation from the doctors, request a student study team meeting at your child's school to review the assessment. Based on the results, the school will then open their own assessment plan and develop an IEP if necessary. If he is high functioning, they may try to say he doesn't qualify for an IEP. Don't accept that. If it was enough of a concern for the teacher to mention the possibility of Austim, then I can't see why he wouldn't qualify. Also, since he is having behavior concerns, do not let the school try and place him in an ED (emotionally disabled) classroom. I am seeing more and more of that in my district and that is the worst placement for a child with Autism. If you are in San Diego Unified, request assistance from the Resources for Students with Autism department. They are a wonderful support for the school and your child. If you are a military family, I believe there is an ombudsperson for families with children with special needs to help you as well. If your son does qualify under the Autism code, you should also contact San Diego Regional Center for additional support services. He may be eligible for SSI, home therapy, etc. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Why not get a good therapist and have him evaulated. Regardless of the issue it sounds like he could use some help with communication and problem solving. A therpist is much more qualified to make a diagnosis than a teacher.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Take your son to a neuropsychologist who is experienced in assessing autism spectrum disorders. UCLA has a good clinic, you can go to the resource list at www.vcas.info and look for others, or maybe you could call UCLA Autism clinic for referral to someone in your area. It is very important to get a good assessment as soon as possible so you can structure his educational needs to get him on the right track. There is a LOT out there. Do not just wait and see. The sooner you get going and determine what is really going on, the better. A great website is www.autism-society.org. Also, www.tacanow.org

Maybe your son doesn't qualify for diagnosis of autism. Maybe he just has some learning issues. It really doesn't matter what the diagnosis is, what matters is making sure he gets the right services for his needs, and you just won't know unless you get a solid evaluation by someone who knows what they are doing.

J. McNulty

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

First, you need at least a second opinion. "School Psychologist" is not necessarily someone I would trust absolutely. Think about it, if you earned a degree in psychology, would you chose to work at an elementary school? Is this a public or private school? What is the experience of this 'psychologist'? And secondly, what purpose would it serve to tell this to your son? It would be of no help to him at all. If YOU start thinking of him as "autistic" you will treat him differently and expect less of him. Is there any reason you would want him to think of himself as "less able" to do things like communicate and behave properly at school?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey I.,

Have him tested, and make sure he doesn't!! I see it all the time, I work at a elementary school and the staff knows certain kids have autism and because the parents are in denial their kids have it, it only hurts that child cause they are not getting the proper attention or care!! Do your child a favor and make sure your doing the right thing for them!! Good Luck!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

I.,
If you want to rule out or in Autism you can go to a clinical Psychologist. They are able to diagnose it. You hopefully have good insurance being a Navy wife so it should be covered. There are strategies one can use to help with behavior issue such as rewards for good behavior. Since you son is in Speech he is in the special education program thus the strategies can be written into his IEP. Also check to see if there is a Behavior Support Teacher (BST) in the school district, they can help too but you must demand it. You have to right to request and keep requesting a evaluation by the BST. The SPED department may not grant you one the first time you ask. Be an advocate for your son and you will get through this. If he has Autism it is probably mild since you do not have issues at home. One last suggestion would be to include your son in as many activities with his peers as possible so he can learn to get along. I have seen a lot of students (I am a SPED teacher) not get along with their peers and it was more than likely because they did not have a lot of interaction with them outside of school and from a very young age.

M. P

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear I.,
Sounds like my son. He was d/x with Aspergers Syndrome, a mild form of autism. Home is fine because there's less annoying stimuli and chance for disagreement. It is often related to mercury toxicity - some of it is from mom in-utero (do you have amalgam fillings or eat lots of tuna?). Kenneth Bock's book "Healing the New Childhood Epidemics" is excellent, and also Sid Baker's Effective Biomedical Treatments for Autism. I recommend you go to groups.yahoo.com and check out the autism mercury group. If you detox him and at the same time get rid of bacteria and yeast infections it will improve. Read up and you can help.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear I.,
Greetings!!!

I truly understand how you are feeling. I'm wondering have you ever thought about researching natural and homeopathic remedies and different diets for your son? Sugar, dyes, different food combinations and even toxins (in the environment and home) can truly make a difference in a child's behavior. But, please also remember that kids are ALIVE and have feelings and spirit and do not deserve to be labeled or medicated. My only concern with the school psychologist or even going to another psychologist is that they will try to medicate your son, and I definitely know from personal experience psych medications do more harm than good and that, in fact, there are many natural solutions that can actually help with what he is going through.

I highly recommend contacting Dr. Anita Pepi who is truly an amazing Chiropractor and Nutritionist and would definitely be able to help your son naturally.

Here's her data:

2950 Los Feliz Blvd. Suite 101
Los Angeles, CA 90039
(323) 666~1088
http://www.drpepi.com

If she is too far for you, please let me know as I may know of an incredible nutritionist that is closer to you.

I'd also recommend checking out 5 organizations validating why going the natural route is best for you and your son:
http://ablechild.org/
http://www.cchr.org/
http://www.fightforkids.org/
http://www.psychsearch.net/teenscreen.html
http://www.labelmesane.com/

You'll also find some amazing data regarding alternatives at: http://www.cchr.org/solutions_and_alternatives/

And, I., please watch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Xjx0gdL83I
http://www.psychconflicts.org/

Please free to contact me at: (323) 906~2784 or via e~mail me at ____@____.com.

I'd love to help you however I can.

With love,
L. (Mama to 42 week old Dylan Orion) : )))

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

First off, I am amazed the school psych told you this. Many schools have plans in place where NOBODY is allowed to speculate that your child may have something wrong with them. Instead, they have a meeting where the principal is also in place and make suggestions and recommendations for testing based on their findings, and they then list their findings. Autism is a disorder that has many facets, and your son may or may not have it. Obviously, if he does, he is "high functioning". Get him tested on your own and go from there. However, he obviously is struggling w/social issues, so immediately try to get him in a social skills class through your school district or a therapist. Don't wait till you are done with the testing. This can begin to help him no matter his problems or issues. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Visalia on

My son was diagnosed right around this age! He has Asperger's Syndrome which is often times missed until 1st grade or later. I have so much to tell you! Most importantly get a Neuro-psych. exam from a Doctor who specializes in Autism. Your right there is NO WAY you or the school psychologist can make this diagnosis. Feel free to email me and I can share more:) ____@____.com It was a long haul for us, hope to hear from you! All the Best!
Steph

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

have him tested then remind the school psyc she isnt a medical doctor, if it comes back negitive, make sure she did not write in his school record he has autism, there are a lot of different forms of autism, and different forms of behavorial problems, I don't agree with the school psych but have him tested, I have a 19 yr old son with autism, it sickins me that now they are blaming everything a kid does on autism, Please !!!! big hugs

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.

answers from Las Vegas on

I.,

Autism is a spectrum disorder and kids who have it can present in tremendously different ways. My 4.5 year old has autism. He's extremely smart, extremely active and he really likes other people. But, in spite of the fact that he's very social, he's not appropriately social and has a very difficult time relating to the other kids. He doesn't understand facial cues or body language or other forms of non-verbal communication and he doesn't understand body boundaries - so he's always touching the kids around him and can be quite annoying. But on a good day when things are going well, you wouldn't be able to pick him out of a crowd of kids as being different at all. But when things aren't going well or he's having a bad day, you can tell he isn't like the other kids.

Anyway, how autism presents itself varies tremendously but all kids with autism have difficulty with social skills and communication. If your school psychologist is concerned, I'd have him evaluated. If he does have autism, getting an accurate diagnosis is the first step towards helping him reach his potential. There is a lot that can be done to help kids on the autism spectrum. And if your son has made it this far without being identified, I'd guess he's pretty high functioning. That is a good place to start. And the school district has all sorts of programs, including a social club to help teach any skills he's lacking. An autism diagnosis isn't always a devastating diagnosis. But if you don't know what you are dealing with, it is almost impossible to get the appropriate help for your child.

Oh, any most kids with autism have sensory issues. That is why they do fine at home where things are familiar and comfortable and not so well outside of home where things are loud, busy, crazy, and not comfortable. You can google sensory integration disorder or sensory integration dysfunction (two terms for the same thing) and find all sorts of info on sensory issues. If your son has sensory issues, there is so much that can be done to make him more comfortable at school.

T.
mama to Cole - Austism Spectrum Disorder and Sensory Integration Disorder - who is one of the cutest, most charming kids you'll ever meet. Yet still has autism.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.A.

answers from Honolulu on

Hi I...I'd say take your son to see his doc and let them weigh in. My friends daughter was just diagnosed as having a type of Social Autism. She is great wehn she is at home or with us.but in school she has so many issues that she has been kicked out of two very good private schools. We have found a good public school which has a specialized one on one program for kids with such issues. So she will have her very own teacher in a low traffic class room as to not interfere with her learing. Try talking to your doctor nad look into local Autism groups which may be able to steer you in the right direction in order to help your soon. Good luck and be patient because it seems like it will be a long trip to a diagnosis. Thogh I'd get god advice because it seems that nowadays a lot of people pass out the Autism card if they cant exactly diagnose something. Remember a few years ago, every child with behavior or attention issues was diagnosed as ADHA or ADD and given some kind of drug like ridalin. Get him into a good program and maybe it is just a behavioral thing and he will grow out of it..if not look into the exceptional family member program and see what kind of help they can offer. Good luck again

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches