Need Advice!!!!

Dear L.,
When my son was about the same age, he did the same thing with biting. One day I had enough and I bit him back. He looked at me with huge eyes and I calmly responded, "Now you know how it feels when you bite." He has never bitten anyone since and that was 20 years ago. So go ahead and give him a good pinch - he'll learn quickly. It may sound like an old-fashioned remedy, but it works! Raising my kids, my philosophy was, "Don't get mad, get even," and I did. Now in their twenties, my kids remember a Mom who never got angry, but whose consequences were brutal. And they respect that to this day.
Good luck, W.

not much you can do if you don't catch it before he strikes,

make sure you yell and say NO, or STOP

be firm

make sure to cut his nails, and grab both of his hands before breaking the bad news to him,

if he is mainly doing it to kids, stop him in his tracks and monitor him closely,

tell him he can't play until he learns not to hurt

Adults should hopefully be able to grab his hands before he pinches. or when they suspect he migt pinch.

M

The phase WILL end. Just stay postive and try alot of redirecting. Ignore the behavior and change the subject or direction.
S. S

I tried the time out with my 2 year old for this issue, didn't work for her. What I did was when she did do it, I took her hand, got to her level and told her in an authorative tone that it was not nice to pinch and to please stop. I then have her tell whomever she pinched sorry. It did take time to get it in her head, but with persistence you should be able to acomplish it. I believe you have to say something everytime and not just let him do it because it's a phase. HTH

Hi L.
Two year olds are so much fun, but they don't always know how to articulate their emotions, so they do instead of talk. That should not surprise us but it is a sign that they need an outlet for those emotions til they learn to articulate.
When our twins were two, we took our oldest to college, and left him there. One twin slept through the whole procedure. Seemingly uneffected. Later she would simply ask when he would be home. The other twin, she cried, and cried, and eventually looked at me with the saddest eyes and expression. She didn't have a word for sad, and therefore cried "I am NOT happy" Yes we could have guessed that but she had no words. I suspect he has no words so my suggestion is help him with words. You have to tell them it is wrong, but I am not in favor of showing them how it hurts. I figure they know that or they would not use it when they are angry.
I know people say to show them but the ultimate result of that behavior would be if they threw a knife, you would, etc. I think that type of behavior escalates a problem beyond what you need to.
Again I am in favor of giving them words to express their anger and frustration even if it is a nonsense word, or an action. Read me a book for instance.
God bless you
K. SAHM of 4, 36,32, & twins 18. Married 38 years and probably old enough to be your mom. If you are able, Ask mom she may have some great stories to tell you.

The best medicine is the crime itself. Pinch him back. That is the only way he will truly understand what he is doing. Probably won't take more than being pinched twice to cure that forever.

When he pinches, flick the top of his hand and tell him "no". It's the only thing that helped my oldest stop playing with plugs and outlets when he was 2 and that was AFTER getting shocked twice.

Please please don't pinch him or yell. I am surprised at some of these responses I just read. This is your son not a criminal or wild animal. It may take him awhile to stop, depending on how long he's been doing this behavior and if he knows someone else who does it.
Try saying, "no pinching, pinching hurts, I want it to stop" in a firm voice. Good luck! Remember don't laugh or joke about it, that will just encourage him to do it more. If you can catch him before he does it try making a sound w/ your voice "ah ah". It's kind of a rumble in your throat. Not sure how to spell it but that always worked for me w/ any child. It stops them in there tracks.

I agree with some of the others, pinch him back and let him see how it feels. He will stop immediately, I have 3 grown children and 8 grand children everything they did negatively, I did it back and resolved the problems instantly, and that goes for little ones who like to slap, kick or hit grown ups, if they are old enough to do negative things then they are old enough for the consequences. That's what wrong with children today, they get away with everything, and every negative thing is cute to their parents. "Spare the Rod and Spoil Your Children" if you want to, but don't complain when you see them on the NEWS.

L., this is a wonderful opportunity for you to teach your little one emotional self-management...self-control...managing his anger in a healthy way. There are many techniques for this...one would be to encourage him instead of pinching to "tap", as in EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). (I am a practitioner of this system which is like acupuncture without the needles...tapping on emotion specific point of the face or hand.) Children love using this technique to calm themselves; even a two yr old can do this. You may want to check out the website of the technique and search for "children", "babies", for more info:
www.emofree.com

Best wishes,
R. Conte, CCHT

Pinch him back so he knows how it feels and how it makes others feel.

My kids went through this phase and the biting phase. Stopped real quick when I did it back to them.

Nanc

I trid all the postings (w/ the exception of biting him back). None worked for my "spirited" son. Finally, I spoke to him in a very calm voice and said that he is not allowed to bite/pinch other people. If he wants to bit/pinch, he can do it to himself and followed up with putting his own hand in his mouth or pinching himself. He did it and laughed. After doing this 2's, he 99% of the time stopped. Worth a try???

Hi L.,
I have 5 boys and they all tried different things. My 1 and 1/2 did that also I just turned around and pinced him back he cried for a few minutes and he never did it again I know it must sound mean but you have to show him it hurts and they get over it. Hope I helped.
Kathy J

Liz, do not let it run its course. I have three boys. If you let him go thinking he'll outgrow it, you're basically saying to him, it's okay to do it. You need to take a next step with punishment. He's two and he knows it's wrong, but how to know what punishment to do, he's an individual and you haveto try different punishments. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but sometimes, not for every thing he does, but pinch him back. He really doesn't know what it feels. Some children learn the pain and stop immediately and some don't. My mom told me that my oldest brother bit her in the back end around two or three years of age and she bit him back and he never bit anyone ever since. If time out isn't working and make sure it lasts a good amount of time. My oldest was in time out for longer minutes than his age and still remembered what he did wrong. Still remember and bring it up the next day. You have to learn who your child is and take away his favorite toy would be the next step if time out isn't working. Don't let him get away with it because he'll do it to another adult and/or child and someone's parent will be very upset with you and him. Enjoy the parenthood!!

I don't think it's just a phase. I have watched with other kids and I think if you don't get your son to stop the pinching, he will continue. Now, I know this is NOT politically correct, but it has worked for me. I am not a big advocate of time out for a child under 4 or 5, because they don't really understand it. I have found that pinching the child back the second they do the pinching is a shock that they will remember. I don't think they really understand that pinching hurts, so if they feel that a couple times, they stop doing it. It worked with my kids.

Do not pinch him back! A 2yo can understand that you pinching him hurts- but he cant connect that to him pinching you. Tell him it hurts and you dont like it. If you are holding him put him down, or walk away. The immediate consequence of "losing" you in addition to being told every time will help him learn that it is not OK and there is a consequence. Good luck