Need Advice - San Antonio,TX

I recommend a Maya Wrap (www.mayawrap.com) - the best thing to happen to mommies with clingy babies.

I didn't discover them until my 4th (and last), but she lived in it until she was 18 mos, then off-and-on for the next 6 mos. She's almost three and we still occasionally use it - it's quite comfortable and distributetes the child's weight nicely. Frees both hands for tasks and way more comfortable than a padded sling.

I was cleaning the van today and pulled the van one out from under the seat (I kept one in the van and one in the house). She saw it and said, "That's what you carry me in."

It's not unusual for a child that age to get clingy, and it's not spoiling them to pick them up or spend extra time with them. Being clingy is their way of saying that they need your closeness and security, and sometimes, even a SAHM can have a child that needs that closeness almost constantly for a while.

Clingy children who have their needs met (rather than ignored) eventually become confident that you are there, you're paying attention, and you care - and therefore they can safely explore their world without clinging to you. I have a fifteen year old son who was adopted. When he was little, he was largely ignored. He *still* has problems with independence. My 3 year old, on the other hand, is highly independent...but you wouldn't believe how clingy he was at 1 year old!

I would recommend any of the parenting books by Dr. and Martha Sears. They can help you get through the clingy stage. My advice is to just remember that it is only a stage and listen to your little one's needs. Good luck!

My daughter is 16 months and she has just become the same way! She will be fine if you leave her when you go to school. I wouldnt worry about that for right now and just enjoy the time that she thinks you are her GOD and love her even more for wanting to be around you...cause I know that sometimes I get irritated that I cant go to the bathroom alone but I than I think about when she is so sweet to me and hugging and kissing me... and this is the only chance I get with her as a baby and she wont be this sweet to me when she is 16 yrs! Take advantage of EVERY MOMENT!

Kelly is right.. she is just going thru what they call the severe attachment phase and it will eventually subside with time.. just be patient.. you will eventually miss those days of hold me... and wish she would want you to hold her..

Enjoy.. that you are the most important person in her world..

My daughter now 2 years old was also like this a yeah ago. As I was reading your story it was so familiar I could have written it myself. Unfortunately I learned the hard way that there's not really a way to push part this it just goes away with time. One is a wonderful age they become so independent even though it may not seem like it now things do get better just hang in there!

J.,

I know what you are talking about and I think all children get this way. My daughter is almost 15 months and she is still this way. I am a SAHM as well and I try to encourage independant time. I started by walking away quietly when she is engrossed in something. Seems to work during the early part of the day and then toward the end she wants to be loved on. Just as you said in your post she is fine until she sees you again, I think she will be the same way if you go to school. At that age, out of sight out of mind. She will be fine until you get back and she sees you but then you can cover her with hugs and kisses. Also remember distraction is a good tool to make them forget what they are crying for. Hope this helps some.

Enjoy these sweet times while you have them. Sooner or later she will be little miss independent and won't need Mommy all the time, then you will wish she was 1 again! You have to realize that to a child, you are their whole world, there is no one else. They love everything about you and want to be near you all the time because you are their security. It's boring for us adults to be alone sometimes!

She has only been in this world for 1 year, she is still getting used to her surroundings. I know it is tough not having any time to yourself, especially not even private bathroom time. But if she is happy and content with you at least leaving the door open so she can see you then you can place some toys right outside to keep her busy. This won't harm or spoil her. If anything she will grow into a more independent secure adult because all of her needs are being met as a child. Relish in the good times and smother her with hugs and kisses while you can. She will thank you for it later.

Totally nomal.

I don't think you can spoil her or carry/hold her too much. You are pretty much all she knows right now. Giving her the security she needs now will allow her to feel more secure and independent later.

I know I am going to have many moms gasping at this one. I just held my son, carried him around and I never let him cry it out. When I took a shower I would take some of his toys into the bathroom and he would play contently on the floor and I took a shower for as long as I liked. When I was cooking he was on the floor at a safe distance away. I worked from home and he was always under my feet. And today (he's 3 1/2) he is so independent, such a risk taker that I think it worked wonderfully for us. He didn't go through the attachement phase for long and soon was exploring the world around him with me because he knew I was there.

Don't worry -- this is SO NORMAL. Between 12 and 24 months tends to be the peak of separation anxiety. We're just coming out of it with my 2-yr-old, and I know how frustrated you can feel sometimes. (For heaven's sake, I just want to pee in peace!) I've found that there isn't much I can do about it if I'm at home -- he's going to want me if I'm there.

As for leaving her while you go back to school, it might be tough at first, but she will eventually adjust if you've found a good place for her. We were lucky to have a sitter part-time that my son already knew by the time I went back to work. If you are able to leave her with someone she already knows, that might help, but it might not be an option for you. If you can swing it financially, you might try to get her settled with the sitter or daycare for a couple of weeks before you have to go back. That way, you can be available if she's completely inconsolable the first day or two, and you'll both have time to adjust to the routine before your own work gets tough. If she has a blanket or other lovey, make sure she's got it. It is really hard at first, I know, but I've made it through this point with 2 kids now, so I promise it does get easier!