Not my husband....but my friend's. She's a hard-working teacher. He has sucked her dry financially, emotionally and physically. He keeps jerking her around -- I want the other woman---I want you -- I want the other woman....etc.
He says he's stopped seeing the other woman. We don't beleive it.
He's a coward and a despicable person.
But my friend won't leave him, as long as he's telling her what she wants to hear. Even though she knows he's a habitual liar.
She wants to hire a P.I. to know onece and for all. But has NO money! And she will NOT contact that "Cheaters" show. She said that would be too humilating for her to have it all over the T.V. (despite what I've said, it should be HIS humiliation, not hers).
Do you know any P.I.s who would follow him and obtain proof Pro-Bono, accept monthly payments or exchange services? My friend is an excellent Teacher and could tutor the P.I.'s children!
Thanks for your help.
Thanks for the quick answers and thoughts! I have encouraged my friend to go to counseling. she did. for awhile. I knwo she has issues.
She lives in confusion and "what if". She says she still loves him and if she walks away and he actually was being faithful now, she will regret it.
I'm not positve that actually "seeing" the proof would get her to leave either. But I have to try. she needs to move on. she says if he is still cheating that it is over.
where are you located?
Why does she need proof if he told her to her face? Sounds like she does not want to know the truth. Did you ask her what will happen if she finds out he's lying? Dont want to put you out of $$ for a no win situation....
Follow him yourselves (or have a friend do it) as Lee P said. Probably no reason to pay someone to do this for you.
I hope she wises up soon & gets out!
If you go onto Cheaters.com they have different websites you can visit that have P.I.'s that are not involved with the T.V. program. Other than that, your sister needs to leave him. She's in denial and it's going to be too late when she figures it out.
My guess is, since your sister already knows unequivocally that her husband has been cheating, and she did not leave him with that knowledge, that finding out that he continues to cheat will not be the proverbial straw to break the camel's back, either.
He has apparently admitted to the affair, thus the "I want you... I want her..." dialogue. And if that admission is not enough for your sister to leave him, what will change if she finds out, yet again, that he's cheating?
If she really needs this additional little bit of proof to put her over the edge, have you considered 'tailing' him yourselves? Perhaps borrow a car he isn't familiar with from a friend or something and follow him on a suspected rendevous? Or have another friend do it? I'm not suggesting this is the best idea, but you could try it.
a person can only do to you what you allow them to do. so she is allowing him to do these things to her! i know that is your friend and you obviously care about her well being but you need to step away from this situation. because the minute he says that really good thing to make her take him back for good she may turn on you! she already know that he has cheated on her and she is still there so why are you getting involved anyway, she must like something about the situation or she would not be there, she would have been left. everyone has their breaking point and she has not reached hers yet! if she leaves him or he eventually leaves her be there for her she will need it but the P.I.? come one she knows whats going on she just wants to see pictures or whatever other physical evidence! if he was trully leaving the other woman alone she would know and she wouldn't need anyone else to prove it to her.
I agree with Linda. Sounds like your sister wants to belive him even though she knows he is lying.
Sounds to me like she ought to just kick him to the curb. Faced with solid proof, will it make her think any differently of the situation? It sounds to me like she knows what's going on - pictures won't change that. I wonder why she doesn't just follow him herself, or check his cell phone bill if she wants further proof.
In any case California is a no-fault divorce state so even if he's cheating with 10 different women, it won't change the outcome of a divorce, should she decide to file.
I think your friend needs more counseling to figure out why she is willing to put up with this. I think all you can do is be there to support her in whatever way you can, without implying that she is somehow lacking for staying with this guy. (Which would be hard for me to do - he really sounds like a jerk.)
Have her get one of those little GPS tracking devices herself or have his phone locator turned on. or call him when you think he is somewhere and then call the cell phone company to see where the signal connected from. There are a lot of ways she can do it herself or have friends do it; but WHY???? Just dump the slump and move on. When you say your vows; I swear no one says "In cheating and in solitude". It is not fair to her to even have to worry about that.
