Napless in San Diego

Updated on July 23, 2009
L.S. asks from San Diego, CA
20 answers

My daughter is about 15 months. She's never been a great sleeper, but has been sleeping through the night for a a few months and taking these great and predictable 1.5-2 hr. naps since i've been off for Summer (about 6 wks.). Just this last week, all hell has broken loose. She's still sleeping well at night (knock on wood) but the nap is a total bust. She used to go down around 1 and sleep until about 3 and then bedtime at 8. At the beginning of this week I was lucky to get 45 mins. out of her and now, she's been in her crib throwing a fit for about 1.5 hrs. I tried moving her nap up, getting her back on two naps etc. etc. I've rocked her to sleep, left her to cry... I'm about to cry as well now. She's clearly tired and will fall asleep in my arms, but wakes up screaming as soon as I lay her down. I would say she's having some negative association with her crib, but this isn't happening at night. I thought maybe separation anxiety, but also, why not at night? What to do? what to do? This is misery at its best for the both of us. I can't take it anymore, and apparently she will be napless as the yelling in the next room has gotten to my head. Please Help!!!!!

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So What Happened?

Wow! Thank you so much for all of the ideas. That day, just as I hit send, the crying stopped and she slept for 1.5 hrs. (longest nap all week). Unfortunately, the next day it was on 30 mins. so we'll keep working on it, but now I have a much bigger bag of tricks. Thank you all.

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F.A.

answers from San Diego on

I think she just wants to start walking, playing...doing something else besides just eating and sleeping....:)

San Diego here also!
F.

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S.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I hate to be the negative Nelly in the bunch... But, have you considered that she just might not need a nap anymore?? Every child is different, but my daughter and I were both babies who didn't need a nap past a certain age... For me, it was younger than for my daughter, but I don't think she took a nap past 9 months old... Maybe she is ready to not take a nap...

There's no set rule that says all kids have to take a nap...

Huggles!!
~S.~

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter did the same thing at 13 months!! But it turned out she had like 6 teeth coming in at once. Once they popped through she went back to normal...could it be teeth??

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E.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

T. Berry Brazelton wrote a wonderful book called, "Touchpoints." A touchpoint is a time in your child's life when some major change (e.g. walking, talking) is occurring (this is from memory, so I may not be exactly on the mark). Brazelton hypothesized that when there is a big developmental shift happening, other things kind of fall back. We saw this with our two boys (now 11 and 14 hence my worries about my memory). When they were making a big jump in language, they didn't sleep as well. When they were making a big jump motorically, they didn't sleep as well. Just a thought. Maybe your daughter is at some touchpoint and this is just a phase that she will soon come out of?

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S.Z.

answers from Reno on

Oh, my, I feel your pain! I only have 2 small pieces of advice. No matter how tempting it is, holding her until she falls asleep will only make things worse. She will demand it more and more, and for longer periods of time, if you give it to her now, so just lay her down, even if she shrieks. Second, go back to naptime at 1 to keep things predictable - she's more likely to throw a fit if you keep mixing things up (it makes her think there are unlimited choices). Other than that, earplugs and chocolate are my only suggestions! This too will eventually pass!!!!!

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R.B.

answers from San Diego on

Go to www.3daysleep.com and get Davis' video. It's quick, cheap and easy to follow - the BEST investment you will make w/your children. She still definitely needs a nap at that age..I would try putting her to bed earlier and have her nap around 12-2 vs. 1-3 (putting her down at night at 6:30 or 7:00..if she is an early riser, keep her bedtime on a 12hr cycle. Ex: wakes up at 6:30am, put to bed at 6:30pm). I did Davis' program w/both my kids and they are great sleepers and nappers....
Good luck!!!!

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N.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

A few things:

1. Your child could have allergies which causes sleep disorders. NAET.com for allergy eliminations.

2. Sometimes prodigy and advanced children require a different type of schedule. You may want to find books on prodigy & advanced children, indigo & crystal children - Amazon.com.

3. Your child may be affected by a dream satellite system. I don't believe in dreams. I believe that dreams are programed into a satellite system and downloaded while sleeping. It is invastion. I have tried to stop this in the past and I am still experiencing dreams that I know I did not create. Still working on it.

Be well.

N.

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi L.,

My angel went through the "no nap" phase. She would fall asleep in my arms and be peaceful, but if I put her in her bed the screaming and crying started. I thought I would have a nervous breakdown. My MIL suggested rocking her and then laying her down beside me on the couch or bed. So I would cuddle her until she drifted off and then lay her down on the couch beside me. She could reach out and touch me and hear me. We did this for about a week and then I moved her to her own bed and sat in a chair beside the railing. Each day I moved the chair a little further away until I was out in the hall. Now she is back to sleeping on her own for her naps. Every once in a while I sit beside her when she naps so she knows I'm there.

Good luck.

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S.C.

answers from San Diego on

We went through the same thing when my son was 16 months old. I didn't want to accept that he was just "giving up naps" like people kept telling me. A friend recommended the DVD "sleep Easy solution" from www.sleepyplanet.com. I didn't think anything would work cuz I had let him cry it out for an hour and a half, had tried rocking him, driving him, etc, but that book/DVD worked great for us! He is 2.5 years old and still takes one long three-hour nap a day (I never would've believe it back then). It also made for night sleep to get even better. I watched the DVD, took notes, and followed every detail they said (out of desperation) and I was consistent (my husband was on travel)and he did after three days start a long three-hour nap every day- just like they stated on the DVD. It was incredible! I hear so many parents say that their kids just gave up naps or only take short ones and I have to bite my lip, cuz I know every kid and parent is different, but this DVD was a miracle worker for our family. Good luck to you! Oh, and I've lent the DVD out to numerous friends since then, all in desperate states, and they have all had incredible success, too. The DVD recommends a video monitor for the sleep training process- we bought one for 99 dollars, used if for the three days, and then returned it. Or, you could borrow one if you don't have one. Good luck!

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C.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Maybe it is too hot, bright, stuffy in her room during the day. See if she'll nap on the floor in a cool dark room.

C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Blackout curtains and a fan.

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K.Y.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think they just go through stages like this at times. My girl just turned 2 and she had a week of this about 3 or 4 months ago (though it was more like waking up at 2 or 3 in the morning and never going back to sleep). Inexplicable. She wasn't sick, she wasn't teething (as far as i could tell), and she wasn't giving up her nap or anything. Just a stage. After a week, back to normal. I agree with one post that maybe tiring her out and letting her fall asleep in the stroller might be a good option (for you anyway, because you'll feel less frustrated being able to walk around?). Also, maybe just surrendering to napping together on a reclining chair or rocking chair or couch, wherever you can get comfortable yourself, since she will sleep in your arms. I spent hours that week holding her in a reclining chair.

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A.A.

answers from San Diego on

Hi L.
have you tried playing music or white noise during nap time? I play "rain" in my sons room and play it kind of loud and he goes right to sleep. I also bought room darkening shades (cheap ones at Home Depot). Doing both of those things together really worked. My son was a horrible napper until I did that and now he naps great. He used to sleep 30 minutes at a time but now it's at least 2 if not 3 hours. I would say that if you are doing just one nap a day that maybe you should put her to sleep earlier. Maybe lunch at 11 or 11:30 and nap at noon. My son would miss that window of being tired and then not take a nap. It was hard to get the exact right time but once I did it worked like a charm. He is 2 1/2 and we still use white noise for his naps and actually play classical music at night for him. He loves it.

Good luck
A.

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E.G.

answers from San Diego on

Does she thow a fit as soon as you put her down in the crib, or when you leave the room? If it's only when you leave, you might want to consider this: My little one is sometimes picky about us leaving the room - not being put in the crib - so I just hang out on the floor in her room while she's calming down for a nap. I look like I'm sleeping - so she's willing to take a nap too.

room darkening curtians, a fan, and stereo with classical music playing are also great helps. along with making her get lots of exercise in before nap time... climb the stairs, play hide & seek, just keeping them active before hand. hope some of this helps.

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C.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sometimes kids go through a funny little blip in the nap road at some point. I would just consistently put her down in her crib everyday at the same time, same place, and I bet she will go back to taking a nap.

Other things to try/consider:
-Sleep environment: dark, sound spa/white noise, some sort of "lovey" possibly- check out this post on sleep considerations: http://www.lullabyluna.com/2008/12/happy-new-year.html
-Enough sleep? May want to keep the nap at 1 or move it to 12:30- maybe have lunch, read a story, and then put her down. Also, may want to consider an earlier bedtime- 7/7:30- and expect her to sleep until 7 (don't go and get her until then or when she wakes up- early wake-ups don't have to happen). And think about sticking to your guns and making deliberate choices: http://www.lullabyluna.com/2009/06/sticking-to-our-guns.html

C., mother of 3, sleep consultant, sleep blog writer

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J.V.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Hi L.,

I know it's hard sometimes- because our kids don't necessarily follow along what the baby books say. If she really is giving up her naps a bit on the early side, she still needs a rest time. I would tell her that she and Mommy need a rest time. Tell her if she's not tired, she can play quietly in her crib- but you need some quiet time. Go outside the first day or so if she starts yelling again ( to control the situation I think), so you can relax a bit and not let the yelling and crying drive you crazy. You're right that you both need some quiet time.

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L.Y.

answers from Los Angeles on

Same thing happened with my daughter right about 15 months. To this day (she's 2 now), she only naps between 30 and 45 minutes total. I asked my pediatrician about it and she told me that as long as she's getting 12 hours of sleep a day, not to worry about it. My daughter sleeps about 11 at night so she's getting slightly under 12 hours most days. I've stopped trying to force longer naps. We have a daily nap routine but the little one just doesn't nap too long. Ask your pediatrician about it if you're concerned. If she's that tired, she'll fall asleep regardless of where she is.

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

this happens with kids ...it will happen again around i think 22 months..but what u do is take her to the park in the morning..one near some shops..and then at nap time u put her in the stroller and go window shopping..she will fall asleep in the stroller..and u can shop! then the next day she should be back on schedule again..or u might have to do this for 2 days in a row...whenever my son hit a phase of not wanting to nap i would do this..he would only nap for 30 minutes BUT it would put him back on his normal nap schedule.
now he's 3.5 and i don't want him to nap or he will stay up super late.
u might want to push bedtime back 30 minutes also.
good luck i hope my trick works for u.

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

Bummer L..

It sounds like she does not want to lay down. This may mean she has pain in that position. Is she getting new teeth? Molars, maybe? They really do hurt. Has she been sick? Have you tried new foods? Poor little monkey. It sounds like she really wants to sleep but is uncomfortable.Try to find the source of her discomfort.

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J.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi L. - I feel your pain. My daughter is almost 12 months and has never been a great napper. She has slepth throught the night since she was about 2 months old so I've tried not to let this bother me too much. Up until very recently she would never nap in her crib. I would make a pallet on the living room floor for her to nap on and that worked really well. I would hold her in my arms watching cartoons and she would fall asleep then I would lay her down. It was almost like she didn't want to be up in her crib away from the action (not that there was much action happening). But before that I would just run errands when I knew she was tired and she would fall asleep in the car seat. My daughter would never cry it out no matter how long I let her cry.
So my point is that our nap schedule changes every day and I try not to get too stressed out about it. Hang in there. I hope this helps.

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