28 answers

Nanny Showed up for First Day Dressed "Oddly" According to Husband

This is the weirdest question. Okay, so I am an older mom so not sure what "the kids" are wearing these days. We have a newly hired young nanny (mid-20's) who just started today. She is a single mom. She showed up dressed casually, which is fine with me, of course. I thought nothing of her outfit. Later, my husband said that while he was impressed with her work, he thought she dressed like a Latina gangster. (I need to emphasize that she is a NON-HISPANIC CAUCASIAN.) He said she was wearing what "cholos" wear (I am unsure if this is an offensive term, sorry) like long shorts, a black and white shirt with an elaborate design, and a certain type of sneakers. He said: "I bet that means she hangs out with gangsters or unsavory people." I thought that he was being ridiculous. Kids wear all kinds of things now, what is the big deal? I didn't even notice.

Of course he got me all worried about her possible "connections." She doesn't have a criminal record and had good references. She comes from a working-class background, so maybe it is common to dress like this. I am also not in really in touch with youth culture, so what do I know? Also, the first few times I met her she was dressed in normal, casual clothes. Our last nanny had dreadlocks and body piercings, we cared nothing about that. I thought lots of kids dressed this way now, Latino(a) or not and didn't necessarily think it was a sign of some kind of criminal association. Should I worry about something like this?

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So What Happened?™

Thanks everyone! I know my husband is being unreasonable. He explained that he was trying to be funny but didn't realize that it didn't go over well with me. I reminded him that I am going through a very vulnerable time right now (lots of transitions) and he shouldn't be adding to my anxiety about ridiculous things. So far the nanny has been great-she is very organized and handles the kids well.

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Yep, hubby is being a bit over-the-top. He said it for a reason though...is there a chance he really wasn't impressed by her & is looking for any excuse to move past her? Outside of that, he's just bein' silly. If the both of you agree she's a goodie, then her clothes shouldn't matter (unless she's half naked).

3 moms found this helpful

In the end, a good nanny is hard to find! My own nanny probably doesn't dress particularly "nanny"-like, but she is amazing with my son and flexible with us and is a wonderful person. I wouldn't give her up for another nanny in chinos and a Gap tee!

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You can buy those clothes at Target. MY husband, on the other hand, wouldnt notice if she was wearing a Halloween costume!!!!! Kudos to your Hub for being "fashion conscious"...:)
Young people are young people. If I could fit my fat arse in some of those cute, hip designs, I would!!!!
If she is a good Nanny...live and let live....who knows? maybe her "quirks" will inspire your child!!!!


7 moms found this helpful

I wouldn't worry. My mom had (temporary) caregivers for her grandkids who looked like they came right off a night job (not the legitimate kind) and that made people very uncomfortable. It is perfectly fine to have some kind of (practical) dress code, but this sounds like a designer/style preference. I always dressed down a lot when I worked in child care because I was on the floor and playing with kids, not to mention getting messy with snacks and feeding. I imagine your husband just has associations with a specific style. I can't even picture what you're describing, but it doesn't sound odd.

5 moms found this helpful

I agree. Heck! I'm IMPRESSED she had LONG shorts on instead of Daisy Dukes! My daughter goes to high school---snd pretty much everybody dresses like that--it's the style. If she starts getting weird phone calls or "unsavory" people come over--then I would be concerned. Otherwise, live and let live!

Have fun.

5 moms found this helpful

The main thing is that she's a good nanny to your children, not her fashion sense.

5 moms found this helpful

That the "image: of what a "cholo" (cholo btw means male, and chola means female) wears. If you guys want to see what real "cholas" dress like come on to california and I can give you a tour. =) This is also a classic look, worn not only by latino's but also by skaters (of any racial background).
I am near 29 and it was popular for us to dress this way in school. The skater crowd would wear dickies shorts or pants, a skater tee (usually a band t-shirt, or a skateboard brand tee) and converse tennis shoes. The latino crowd wore basically the same thing, but a different kind of tee, and either converse or addidas sneakers. Thats what was popular. Two very different crowds, of all races, wearing basically the same thing.
To me, it's no big deal, it's just a look. If her references were good, and she has no background I wouldn't worry.

4 moms found this helpful

I don't agree that you are judging a book by its cover. I think how someone chooses to dress does say something about their personality and what message they are putting out there.

If you had a 14 year old daughter who came down the steps for school dressed in daisy dukes and a low cut top, what would you say? You wouldn't say "its ok to go to school like that because no one should judge you based on how your dressed". Um, no. You would tell her to get her butt upstairs and put on something appropiate for school. People ARE judged on how they dress. Its no different than if you were going to a job interview for a corporate management position. You would not go to the interview in baggy jeans & a tee shirt. You would wear a nice suit because you want to put a good impression out, because you WILL be judged on how you dress.

If this woman is dressing this way, its because that is the message or image she is putting out there. If it makes you uncomfortable in any way, talk to her about it. She is caring for the most precious thing you have. You need to be 100% comfortable with her. I don't think you are being too judgemental at all. You have every right to scrutinize everything this woman does. Because she is caring for your children. If she was some stranger you saw in the grocery store, I would not judge her. But shes not a stranger, she is the care giver of your children.

Good luck to you and I hope she turns out to be a fabulous nanny. :)

4 moms found this helpful

Personally, I wouldn't worry. Clothes are clothes... Nothing more.

3 moms found this helpful

Yep, hubby is being a bit over-the-top. He said it for a reason though...is there a chance he really wasn't impressed by her & is looking for any excuse to move past her? Outside of that, he's just bein' silly. If the both of you agree she's a goodie, then her clothes shouldn't matter (unless she's half naked).

3 moms found this helpful

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