MySpace

Report it to Myspace and see if they can do anything about it. There must be some sort of rules about posting pics of minors...

Tee,

You have gotten tons of advice from both side of the spectrum. Coming from a similiar situation, I hate to say it, but "Don't sweat the small stuff".. in the long run, it won't be worth it. When you start pitting your husband against his family.. it causes strain between you and him. He may not show it, but it does. I have had problems off and on with my inlaws. One of them happens to be over the use of car seats and booster seats. I have talked until I am blue in the face.. and in the end, I look like the bad guy.

If her myspace page is set to private, the only way her pictures can be viewed is by her friends. Hopefully she is smart enough to only allow people she knows on her page.

So she is showing pictures of you children to your husbands ex. He married you, the children are with you. If your relationship is solid, and you have no worries.. then let it go. I did the whole, keeping the kids away from the inlaws thing. To tell you the truth, the only people it hurts are the kids. It is just not worth it.

Best of luck!

What role is your husband taking in this? He should be the one to tell his mom that if she continues to disrespect his wife she will no longer be welcome in your home, or have access to pictures of the g-kids. He needs to be your covering, to make it known that he will not tolerate anyone trying to come between you two. Posting pictures on the internet of your children is just wrong for many reasons, but to do so for the reasons she is doing so makes it deplorable. Your husband needs to set down the boundaries and then enforce them if, and when, they are crossed. He needs to be your hero and protector, no matter who the "assailant" is.

Tee,

You've talked with your husband, and he's talked to his sister. Have you reported her to My Space? once you do that, LET IT GO. Don't continue to play in the same filthy sandbox as your SIL.

I'm counting on you to rise above this and get on with the business of loving your husband and children, which, by the way, is the best defense against potential usurpers of your happiness.

The only person you can change is the one in the mirror.

Hugs,
D. T

This is absolutly something your husband has to handle! These are his children she is doing this to and he is a married man. He needs to tell her in no-uncertain terms that she is to get these pictures off the internet. Pediphiles will see them and sell them.
He is married and she has no business promoting a relationship with an old girl-friend. You must do nothing and let him handle it.

If you are their legal gaurdian, get really fiesty with Myspace and have them taken down. They are actually really good about protecting kids and their images. Just be specific and to the point. They'll help you, they HAVE to!

Just go to myspace, hit help. YOur best bet is to contact them under "Reporting Abuse", I'd go to removing my childs profile from myspace, Someone on myspace is bugging/harrassing/threatening me. Inappropriate content, and if worse comes to worse, hit them with Copyright violations. :) (especially if you took the pictures).

Good luck.
H.R. "Roach" Crystal

Posting photos of your children without your consent is against myspace terms and conditions

"8.14 includes a photograph or video of another person that you have posted without that person's consent;...If you become aware of misuse of the MySpace Services by any person, please click on the "Contact MySpace” or the “Report Abuse” link at the bottom of the MySpace Website pages...MySpace may reject, refuse to post or delete any Content for any or no reason, including Content that in the sole judgment of MySpace violates this Agreement or which may be offensive, illegal or violate the rights of any person or entity, or harm or threaten the safety of any person or entity."

You need to complain to myspace. They will demand that she remove the photos or her account will be terminated. Let them know that you feel your children's privacy is being violated, and that they are being put in danger by having their photos posted online by her.

This is not an issue you will have to fight, you just have to complain to the right people.

Oh honey, I relate. Argh!
Boundaries are of course super important and within your rights here, and when it comes to our children, it's absolutely acceptable and appropriate to let your inner-momma-bear Roar over this! I would recommend that you make it quite clear that this isn't a matter of female jealousy over the Ex, but a matter of safety & respect. This is within your rights!!!

Of course it's fine for your in-law to continue relations with this ex-girlfriend, so long as she keeps that separate from you and your husband. and Duh!...The internet is not a safe place for pics of kids. As a loved one, she should know this too.

It's rarely okay to fight fire with fire, however, you could dig up some really unflattering pics of your In-law and mull over posting them to your own My Space (kidding).

Perhaps suggesting that if the Ex wants to contact you and your husband directly to see pictures of your children, you could provide your In-law with your own personal mobile phone number...?

Wishing you well with this.

This is much more serious than an in-law who won't respect your wishes. There are all sorts of strange people out there that I don't have to tell you about. I don't think you should be concerned at this point about anyone finding out you know. Your husband needs to be a united front with you to stop it, or perhaps contacting MySpace and letting them know you want it stopped would be a good step. Good luck

I would ask my husband to assert this boundary and rule about HIS children with HIS mother. Sometimes stepping out of it and making him assert with his own family drives the point home more clearly. She obviously, in more ways than one, does not respect you or your marriage. I would also not give her anymore pictures, period(not even printed pictures), until she agrees to comply. Good Luck with your sticky situation.

she sounds crazy! i would flag her proofile and report her to myspace. If she can't respect your wishes and take your kids off her page, then myspace should delete her profile.

You could report her page to MySpace- no one is supposed to have pictures they don't have permission to use on their pages. Also, I don't see anything wrong with you letting her know that you know there are pictures on her page because other people have seen them. The only way she can block everyone from seeing them is to get rid of all your mutual MySpace friends from her list and set her profile to private.
Good luck! I'd be miffed!

I would tell her politely that you know she still has the pictures up and that she needs to remove them, explain that it can be dangerous to have kids pictures up even if her account is set on private because of hackers and that if she respects you then she needs to respect you wishes about your children. If she still refuses tell her that you can not trust her and will not have your children be around someone you do not trust unsupervised. It may seem manipulative but if she does not respect you as a parent then what is she doing with your kids when you are not around. Oh and then report it to myspace administration and they can take her page down until she removes the pictures. Also your husband needs to tell his mother he wants nothing to do with his ex and completely refuse to talk to her (his ex) that way it does not seem like you are just being controlling.

Good morning Tee..Sounds like your mother-in-law is just trying to cause problems (and from her standpoint she probably thinks it's working). Don't give her the satisfacation...if you and your husband have a rock solid marriage, then who cares what she does, none of it will work right? Let the ex eat her heart out by seeing what damn cute children he is has with YOU!

Also...I sort of think it's your husband's battle to fight w/his mom. If he thinks this is a problem then he should be the one to confront her about it. Obviously, she's never going to respect your wishes and in fact it just gives her something to gossip to the ex about when you make a stink about it. I would just make sure that the MIL and the ex aren't getting ANY payoff for this behavior and eventually it will get boring to them.

Good luck!

L.

PS...I'm a happily married 38 year old sahm to 8 and 5 year old girls.

why don't you just come out and say to her that you don't want "ex" to see pictures of the kids. honestly, it sounds like that is where your concern is. (why does ex want to reconnect? that's suspicious!)anyway, if your sis-in-laws page is private, you don't have to worry about some freak looking at pictures of your kids. my family and i live all over the country and myspace is a great way for us to keep up on each other. we all have pics of our kids on there but we also keep them private just so our pictures don't get out. i have not heard one thing about private listings having problems. i hope this reassures you.

also, if you mentioned that you didn't want them on the internet, your sis-in-law might not have taken you so seriously and just thought you were concerned about preditors and the like. you might have to redefine what you meant.

good luck!!

Move Away!! No really I feel the same way. I told my ex I didn't want to see any pictures of my son posted on Myspace for all to see. Its complete wrong of her. I would get your husband involved and both just talk to her. If nothing else shower some articles about predators online and how dangerous it can be to have your children's pictures all over myspace. If my son's step mother had pictures of him on the internet I would probably go through legal action to get them removed and make sure it didn't happen again.

I agree with you about the kids pics. in the net, but be happy its not him looking for the ex. but your in law should be thoughtful but she is not , she just like to meddle and pay her no mind, if your husband doesn't care why should you, be happy don't worry.

Unfortunatly we have viscious grandparents or inlaws and as a mother we have to protect ourselves.
To be blunt. She has absolutely no interest in the child by this behavior so she has no rights to be around nor call your home =)
Now on the other hand her son can contact her or visit her due to "it" being his mother. But, I highly suggest your husband doesnt bring the children around her anymore.
She has no interest to protect the kids on such a mental thing and what this grandparent is doing NOW im sure it will get worse. If it already hasn't that you know of.

Second of all she has a problem of disrespecting you by not removing them off the net as you had requested. It is ok for a grandparent to post pictures of there grandchild but not for an X that's horrible!
I wonder if this woman knows what custodial interference means? Im terribly disguisted as why your husband is allowing this? Maybe there is more than you know. I would look more into that and personally I would get rid of the the grandparent.
She isnt healthy enough to be around the children. She also isnt a healthy person to be in Your home around YOUR relationship with her son due to trying to get him and his X back together knowing your married to him and have children.

Sorry but id say to your hubsand enough is enough and she aint coming around in my home and MY children!
Tell your husband I would love for her to scream grandparent rights because you and I both know a judge would consider this unnacceptable behavior. (if you had any in your state I know Alaska doesnt) Be tuff dont give in!

Good Luck

Tee,

Talk about your nightmare in-laws. Ick!!

Well, I think that, unfortunately, there's probably not too much you can do, at least "action"-wise. I don't know if there's any way you could demand to have pictures removed, especially when posted by a grandparent. Thankfully, it's not "inappropriate" pictures being posted, but I know that doesn't make her intent seem any nicer.

I also think that the key to having any peace about this is just the facts you already know. You know that your husband doesn't want anything to do with his ex. So, hopefully the manipulation by your in-law won't ever be able to shake that trust you have in your husband, and in your relationship. So, truly, no matter what your in-law wants, that just ain't gonna happen.

The thing is, you can't control your in-law's actions....there's just really nothing you can do about, at least nothing that you haven't already done. You said you already asked her, "please don't post those pictures". You have done your part. If she's disrespecting your wishes, then don't continue to let her get into your head. Try to let it go. (I know, I know, easier said than done. But, no matter how much you wish for her to care about your feelings on this, it just seems she doesn't. So, how much sense does it make for you to keep getting twisted up about it?)

I wish you all the best. I'm so sorry that you're in the middle of that.

Wow, this sucks, I would be so bothered. My advice the hub needs to tell his mama to respect your boundries and knock off the disrespectful behavior. I hope it works out for you!

Hey Tee,
Since you can't control what grown folk do there is really nothing you can do about her posting the pics, but have your husband to talk to his mom. Look at it like this, if his mom is posting pics of your kids for his ex, his mom is showing her the family she doesn't have with him (only if she still has feelings for him, if not she probably doesn't care). Don't let petty stuff like that get to you. Maybe your mother in law is still posting the pictures because she knows it bothers you. Play it cool, the ex can't do anything with the pics. If your husband isn't interested in the lady and he is showing you his affection ignore your mother in law and stopping looking at her page. Its her page let her do what she do, but the chick knows he is married and she can't do anything in your relationship with your husband unless he allows it. So be nice and respectful toward your mother in law and if she baits you into a conversation about her page, then smile and say how nice it is that she puts her grandkids up there, then change the subject!

Hey Tee,
This sounds like a problem for your husband to resolve. He needs to tell both your friend and his ex to butt out of your lives. This in-law is his family and more's the reason for him to take care of it!
K.

You have every right to be upset!! But I think it's your husband who needs to set HIS mom straight! He needs to be you and your childrens protecter even from family, especially his own!! Good luck!

Dear Tee,
Boy this chick sounds like she needs to get a life of her own!! Unfortunately there is little that you can do about what she has posted, but.....depending on how far you want to take this, you can open your own page, and post some unflattering pictures of her, I'm sure they exist! What does your husband say? It sounds like you are more worried about this ex, your out-law has gotten exactly what she was after, a reaction! I don't have a "jealous" bone, but I do have an insecurity bone, and I know one thing for sure, he is where he wants to be, or he wouldn't be there! Keep saying that to yourself and she will lose all her wind. She can't play without an opponent, and eventually she will move on :) It is sad but true that we women can be very catty and vicious, but try to stay above the muck if you can, and if you find yourself down in it anyway... she has a past too!!! Hope this helps. R.

Hi Tee F,

It sounds like this is causing you a lot of upset and worry.
First as others have said you should discuss this with your husband and ask him how he feels about this and maybe he can talk to his relative.

There are a lot of issues here and it's always upsetting when we can't control other people's behavior so I guess I would first ask myself what I'm most concerned about here.

Is it worry about potential harm to your children? If YOUR location or address isn't posted anywhere in connection with the pictures of the kids I wouldn't worry too much about some pervert. Even if you live in the same town, many people don't live near their relatives so perverts won't know where they live. If a pervert just looks at your kids pictures, it may seem creepy but they would need to make contact with your children to harm them. Since perverts don't wear signs around their neck, you don't know that there isn't a pervert who lives in your neighborhood and knows where your kids live. I'd be more worried about that then one on the internet.

I'm sure it's aggravating to believe that your in law wants to help your husband get back with an old girlfriend. Is it possible that this is only your perception and that it isn't really true? It may be that the ex girlfriend just remains a friend and there is nothing you can do to change that nor would you want to choose someone else's friends for them.

In the long run the only thing you can do to possibly change this situation is to try to change YOUR feelings and attitude toward the in law. If you work really hard to see the good and find things to like in that person and reach out to have a better relationship their behavior may change or it may not bother you as much.

As far as admitting to having friends who have seen these pictures on My Space - I don't understand why that is a problem. People visit MySpace or have a page for lots of reasons. It's a great place to keep in touch with friends, find old friends that you've lost contact with and network with others with similar interests. Give it a try - it's actually a lot of fun!

I hope you don't feel that this sounds like an unsympathetic response. It took me a long time to learn (the hard way) that it's no fun to go through life angry and stressed. I finally came to realize that most things that upset me can be solved by realizing that I have the power to change me, my thoughts, my attitude and my perspective.

By the way, I'm not a pervert - I'm a 57 year old grandmother and I have a MySpace page! Feel free to visit mine!
http://www.myspace.com/vickisgreen

Best wishes

V.

Hi Tee,
Your in-law is out of line and you have every right to protest this drama she is putting you through. She is inappropriate and insensitive to your positon. Too bad your husband doesn't step up to the plate and tell her how he feels as it is obvious that she could care less about your feelings. Although there is really nothing you can do about the Myspace situation of her showing your children's photos, you certainly can tell her straight up how offensive she is being.
Good Luck
J. S

i believe you can report them to myspace and let them know why you are reporting them. the user will have to remove them. or they will not have a page anymore. i dont know for sure but i know they will do it without putting your name in on how they were reported. good luck and i dont blame you.

Report them to myspace, those pictures are your property and it's against their rules for anyone else to post them without your permission.

I would be pissed if i was you!! isn't there anything you can do legally about her putting pictures of the kids on myspace? has she not every watched the news? how many sexual predators get onto myspace? i would never want pictures of my children online let alone myspace. myspace is sketchy. you have every right to not want that. if she won't honor your wishes, then you should see if there is something you can legally. then i agree, after that, let it go. be strong girlfriend.

You can report the image if you can see the picture. They will probably just start a new myspace page though.

What does your husband say about this. Or does he know about this?
Can you call or e-mail the company that puts the myspace for any advice on whats you can do as a parent to control what your In-Law is doing?

Hi Tee, perhaps you could create your own family myspace page. Grandmas do take a lot of pride in their little angels and I personally love to share pictures of my family. The only way I can stay current with family and friends is with networking online. I have pictures of my first ex-husbands daughter & family on my page.

The gal is the ex-girl for a reason and you probably have nothing to worry about. You can not control people...The only one you can control is yourself. Be happy and good luck.

feel free to visit my world on myspace www.myspace.com/herbaliva

Can you contact MySpace and see if they can help? That's crazy of her!

I would create your own myspace account with a wierd name that she would never find out it was you and report to craigslist. they wil have to take them off.

I would tell her flat out that you are still not happy about this. She is obviously not taking the safty of your children in to mind so you can tell her that. And because of that you will no longer be allowing her to have access to them. She seems to be one of those meddling inlaws who probably won't listen to reason especially if you have already had this converstion and it didn't work. She needs this so make her realise that she needs to respect your wishes when it comes to the children. Tell her that you are not sure what other decisions she would make if they were allowed around her and you need to protect your children and see what she say. There was a responce earlier about not worring about a pervert seng the picture because the kids live somewhere else, that would be so true if there wasn't so much more information on people out there. It easy for that person to find out information by readying the inlaws blogs and searching the names of family she puts on the page. So she is just adding more danger by putting up the pictures. She will react if you take the children away from her. But don't be mean about it just be straight with her and tell her it is for thier safty and it is YOUR job as thier PARENT to protect them from anyone even family. Plus I think myspace can help you get the pictures taken down.

I don't think that having pictures on a private page is the same thing as having them "out on the internet", and she probably doesn't either.

If you're relationship with your husband is secure, there's no reason to stress about her showing pictures to the ex. Just learn to live with the fact that the ex came to be a friend of the family and she's showing off her grandkids like she does to every other person on the planet I'm sure.

I would have your husband talk to his relative and get to the bottom of their motive and taking the pictures off the net. You have every right to annoyed and hopefully, you guys can resolve this very soon.

This woman is a total idiot. She is exposing her grand children to who know what out there on the internet.

I would tell her in a minute that some friends of yours saw your kids on the internet and called to warn you. She can't block everyone. People troll those sites all the time and they could just happen on her page.

Has your husband told her to stop it??? He needs to let her know how he feels about her posting pics of his kids on the internet and that he has no interest in his ex girlfriend. She will listen to him before she will listen to you...if she will listen to anyone!!!

Sorry you have to put up with someone who mettles so much in your lives. It is a hard thing to put up with....

I'm assuming the pictures she has posted aren't compromising in any way. That said, I would let it go. I know you said you have asked not to have their pictures on the internet, but honestly, what is it hurting? Especially if her profile is set to private... that means no one but the people she allows can see it. So, with the exception of her showing the ex, it's really like showing her friends a snap shot.
As far as the ex goes, I would act like you're thankful... after all, she must really think your kids are adorable to want to show them to everybody!!! It sounds like your MIL is a little spiteful, which means she feeds on your pain. Don't let her see it. Act like it doesn't bother you. She'll get bored the same as my kids do!

I would report it to myspace. If you ask them to, they will remove them.

Hi Tee. What a difficult situation you're in. I'm sorry that your MIL is doing this to your family. You have a few directions though so do what you think is best for all parties. First, you can go onto myspace & if you took the pictures, let them know that she's violating copyright laws. They have to remove them, its the law. Secondly, talk to your husband. Tell him why you think the pictures should be taken down (safety of your kids) & ask him to talk to her. I'm sure it seems that it started out as a relatively small problem but has blossomed into a battle but you and your husband should make the final decisions when it comes to your kids and being that he's her son, have him be the one that talks to her, with you at his side. Hopefully she'll realize that both of you have made a family decision & respect it. Good luck & please come back to let us know the conclusion.

I am just wondering why your husband isn't sitting his mother down and telling her to stop with the pics but also why he isn't letting her know that he isn't interested in his ex and he doesn't want his ex to know anything about him or his kids.

If they are pictures you have taken, then it is copyright infringement and you can use that to get her to remove them.

Of course, it would be nice if she just went with your wishes but since that is not happening, your husband needs to be very clear with his family regarding your childrens safety and privacy.

Tee,
I would be infuriated. I feel that it is your husband's responsibility to protect you and your children. He needs to stand up to this family member; whom I assume is his mother or sister, and tell them that their actions are irresponsible and unwanted. (I would NEVER post my children's pictures on the internet for fear of child predators.) Contact your local law enforcement agency to see if there is any action that can be taken by you as far as someone posting pictures of your children on the internet against your wishes. There should be something you can do. Another thing is since they are your children, you don't have to send pictures or even allow visitation with that person. CUT THEM OFF. They must be held accountable for their actions and need to know that their actions are unacceptable by you and your husband.
If the law can't help and your husband won't do anything, then he's not worth keeping. Protect the children at all cost.
I wish you the best of luck and hope things work out for you. Many blessings. -A.

HI,
I would be very upset as you are.The internet has so many predators and all. I hope things work out. I know for me I would talk with your husband, make sure you are both on the same page about why it is important to you and then go and confront her in a very calm, loving matter. These are your children and you are here to protect them and keep them from harms way. I agree with you, I don't want my kids photos on there either. She could send them in an email to her friends if she wants to be the happy grandma with beautiful grandkids.
Best of luck

You are going to have to have your husband confront her himself as it does no good for you to. It just makes things worse. Besides, if it comes from her own son telling her to stop and that he loves you and your kids and wants to stay with you forever, it goes better. He needs to be firm about this and tell her to STOP or there will be consequences.

Contact you local Police and ask what you can do or who you should contact about it. They are your kids and if you have told her no then she has no right to post pictures of your kids. I would also contact MySpace, this is against their rules.

Sorry you have the mother in law from hell, have one myself.(she brought a woman to our wedding that she thought was a better choice for my husband!) several options come to mind. first, why is your husband not dealing with this? he needs to put his foot down, (on her head?) second, it's obvious she couldn't care less about your wishes, so I would search into the legal aspect of it. then I would fight fire with fire and tell her if she doesn't quit, the oNLY way she'll see those kids is by a picture! since she is so totally stupid as to the dangers of posting childrens pictures, get tough! and as long as you 'don't want to say anything' this woman will continue to defy your wishes forever. they're your kids, she doesn't have to like it. protecting your children is more important than her feelings. period! stop pussy footin around with this woman. you'll only regret it in the future. I did that for years until I had had enough. took me 20 years to tell my mother in law how I felt about her actions, should have done it years before! she still would be happier had hubby married someone else, but she now stays the heck out of my business! you go girl, and stop worrying about her feelings, she doesn't care about yours!

I'd be raising Cain! Get your hubby to tell her that it's inapropriate for your kids pics to be online anyway, due to child predators and such anyway! Make hubby get her to take the pics down or else! Or do what I do and just tell her yourself... And that if she doesn't take the pics down, you won't be bringing the kids over till she does! =)

I feel you on this one, though not quite as serious. I have been very adament to my family about posting pictures of my kids on MySpace. I don't mind the pictures, but I refuse to allow anyone to use there names in any way. They are your children and your in-law should respect your wishes, if she chooses not to, then you act. Perhaps your husaband should approach her, after all, it has to be his mother or sister and maybe they would be more respectful towards him. If that doesn't work, I would contact MySpace officials and ask to have the photos removed.

It may be possible to report her to MySpace 'authorities', perhaps for violations.

Where is your husband?! He is the one who should be dealing with his mother over this since she ignores your requests. Sit him down and explain to him how dangerous it is to have your childrens' picture posted and how wrong it is for her to be disrespecting you like this with her relationship with his exgirlfriend. If he really is over that relationship then he needs to make it PLAIN to his mother that it is over and that she either accepts you and respects you or he will be forced to exclude her from your lives. This sort of spite she is showing is not good for your children either. If he won't deal with her in a firm way then he doesn't love and respect you enough. I know from experience that if he won't be firm with her then things will just get worse.
P.S. No one needs to tell her how you know that the pictures are still being posted, just tell her that you have ways of knowing and it has to stop.

As long as her myspace is private, I would be proud of my kids and husband, and consider that the in-law is proud of them also. Since your husband has not been with this ex-girlfriend for 15 years, and if he has never given you reason for concern, I would suggest you not worryand thank your in-law for making her myspace private.

My opinion is it doesn't matter if she knows that you have ways to look at her page or not. When your children are being placed on a website after you have already made it clear that you do not want that to happen. I would come at her really hard and let her know exactly how I feel. Obviously, she doesn't care about your feelings or wishes or for that matter even your children. This is a matter of your childrens safety now, if she has those pictures public for everybody to view even pedophiles for example can see yor children.

Tee, I don't even know you and I am sorry to hear that you have to deal with this and feel this way. You and your husband need to sit down together and talk about this and then go to your mother in-law together and confront her. Ultimatley you can't make her do anything, but you can at least tell her how you both feel together. Good Luck!

look into MySpace customer service and see if you can get someone at myspace to pull the pictures for you... she doesn't have permission to post them.