K.D. asks from Hemet, CA on April 11, 2008
mysapace.com For Teen Girls
My 13yr old daughter wants a myspace page. I disagree with her having one. There are so many predators looking for naive girls. She thinks I'm just to protective. I let her walk to the store with friends and the park. Both within a mile of our house. What are your opinions.
So What Happened?™
Thank you all so much for all the great advice. My husband, daughter and I had a great talk. She understands the danger of the internet. My three nieces have a Myspace page. My daughter has excepted them into her account. They said they will help keep things on the up and up. I do trust my daughter. We do have talk quite a lot, more than most moms and daughters. Now we are talking even more about her page on Mysapce. She is showing me pictures of her friends from school. Now I even know them better and I can visit their page as well. Again Thank you so much, K. D
Featured Answers
C.H. answers from Los Angeles on April 13, 2008
my daughter has a myspace and I also have one too, I monitor her site and have her passwords. I also have it on private and I do have talks with her on the pros and cons of the internet.
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H.R. answers from Sioux City on April 12, 2008
I am 22 and I have a myspace acct. There are some of those, as mentioned below, that post in appropriate materials on the page. Keep in mind that when setting up the acct. you can make it a private acct. (you will either need to know her(your daughters) last name or her email address.) You can set it up that way. I understand you not being so enthused but at the same time it is the "cool" thing to do. Anything on the internet is. And with this site you can make your own background, music, pictures, etc.
At the same time, you may want to evaluate that she is growing up. She is 13 and may want some distance. I know she is still young but at the same time you are very involved with school that this may be a way for her to be cool without "mom" looking after her every move.
I would suggest to get the password for the acct. but I don't see the harm if you have the password.
Sorry this is so long.
:)
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J.C. answers from San Diego on April 11, 2008
Well this is a hard one to answer because so many kids do have these pages and she might feel a bit left out. I was never interested in it. You are right... there are a lot of predators on there. My compromise would be that YOU as the parent get to have access to the page and if you find anything questionable on it then it gets deleted and no more. Make sure you check it often and I would suggest putting the computer in a general area and not in her bedroom. That way you can peek over her shoulder and check to see what she's doing. More than likely she just wants to post pictures of her and her friends like most do. However, there are also a lot of girls on their that post questionable photos of themselves... that's not a good influence either. You can check her friends sites too to see if they are the type of friend you should be concerned with. I would say go ahead and let her, but you have to be able to access it.
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A.G. answers from San Diego on April 11, 2008
I am a young mom, but I am an older sister and older cousin to many of my younger girl cousins. Here is my advice, myspace can be a place where children can get help with homework, socialize with friends. I personally do have a myspace, but it is set to private so only my friends can view it. My mom allows my sisters to have a myspace but she has their passwords, and user name.. She sets boundaries, my sister can only add friends that she nows from school, she can only have her pictures and her profile set to private view. My mom constantly checks in on her myspace page, because it is a privillage not a right. If you do allow your daughter to have myspace make sure you first learn how to use it, learn how it works, if you don't know how to opperate the page have her teach you. It is so immportant that you know how to opperate it, so that the settings are correct. The world can be a dangerous place but if we are educated and aware of what our children are doing then it becomes less dangerous. That is my opinion. I hope it helps
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L.C. answers from Los Angeles on April 11, 2008
Hi K.,
A lot of the responses that you've gotten so far seem to have good tips. My 12 year old is not allowed to go on the MySpace website at all. Now, you may be thinking I'm a little paranoid, but she actually has no real interest in it and I'm glad. I will be the differing opinion on this, but I think finding alternative ways to socialize with real people, and not just computer realtionships, might have more value to her in the long run. I'm not necessarily against MySpace, but you have to police it really carefully and you do want to protect your daughter from images and words that might really be troubling to her. Can I encourage you, if you don't already do it, to perhaps have a weekly date with her? You two can go out and get a treat, go shopping at the mall, have mother-daughter time? Or, help your daughter plan fun outings with her friends and their moms together? My 12 year old is the oldest of 5 daughters and it's very tempting to avoid time with her, but I make it a priority to spend time with her and make sure she has lots of fun activities with friends who share similar values. She's a great kid - and I want to protect her from hard-to-resist temptations. I've also noticed that because I homeschool her there is a lot less exposure to media, which can be good and bad. So far, it seems better overall. Anyway, just a thought...good luck! I'm sure it will go well for you and your daughter.
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M.Y. answers from Visalia on April 11, 2008
Keep your computer in the living room or kitchen where you are in the same room. Get yourself your owm myspace and look up old friends and have your daughter as one of your friends and have her set it to private to where only she can allow ppl to see her site and tell her only ppl she knows should be her friends....also set a limit to how long she can stay on the computer. My son has a myspace and I am on his friends list so I can check out his site to make sure its appropiate and he has done great.....I think its better for him to be at home on the computer (where I can see him) than out with his friends where I cant see him!
HTH
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S.R. answers from San Diego on April 12, 2008
Hi K.
Here's the deal with MySpace. Kids just put too much info on there...that's what makes them an easy target. If you forbid her to have one...she'll end up going to a friends house and set one up.
Make sure to check your internet history regularily for new myspace pages that might pop up.
Make sure to get a software monitoring program so you can keep track of what's going on. She may not be the one looking for trouble but trouble will be looking for her and that trouble will come in the form of an adult male.
I have a lot of experience with this. Feel free to email me if you have any other questions...I'd be happy to help.
S.
http://www.workathomeunited.com/betterforyou
http://www.livetotalwellness.com/betterforyou
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J.M. answers from Los Angeles on April 11, 2008
I have a grandaughter, with my-space. Mom and dad keep a close eye on what she accepts and sees.She has shown me her page many times, and the majority of it is she and her girlfriends and pictures they have taken of one another, at dances or theme parks. Your a stay at home mom. You can keep an eye on her. I think, what I would tell her, is...While I'm not that keen about letting you have a My-space page, I will allow it,as long as all is appropriate. The first time,I see something inappropriate, I will cut you off.: ) best of luck to you
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A.C. answers from Santa Barbara on April 11, 2008
This is a new age and a convenient way teens keep in contact with their friends. In the beginning, I was so against it, but found out that kids will find a way to set up an account without their parents consent. Instead, for my approval, I've requested the e-mail account and password from my daughter's account and check it on a daily basis and view all friends profile that she frequently visits. It's a great way to keep track of close/distant friendships.
Predator's are a very big issue. A predator contacted my daughter. Daughter's profile was seen through her friends page. Predator left a disgusitng, vulgar message for my daughter. I immediately reported to MYSPACE and they deleted this profile within a day. PLEASE, educate your child of this scary possiblity.
My daughter does not mind that I view her friendships as there should be nothing to hide. She is able to conversate and open up freely with me, knowing that I know more about them without her having to explain much. I often strike up the conversation first and question a few things and she gladly corresponds. I don't have an account myself.
There are goods and bads about this Myspace. The key is to stay informed and very involved.
This is the new past time of this era, sometimes we must keep up with the times or we'll fall behind.
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