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He is getting too old to go into the bathroom while you are showering, whether you get a new door or not, it should be private time since he is getting older. (At that age unless someone was on fire I would not go into the bathroom if my dad was showering.) I could see how you would not want him embarrassed, but at the same time you have to let him know that seeing step mom or any other unknowing lady naked is not appropriate, I would just tell him you would prefer he not come in the bathroom anymore while you are in there (or lock the door) and hopefully he will get the message. If he persist you need to ask his dad to address it.

6 moms found this helpful

Tell his dad-an accidental walk-in is one thing-but to come in and stay and talk? What would his mother say? Assuming there is one.

4 moms found this helpful

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He is getting too old to go into the bathroom while you are showering, whether you get a new door or not, it should be private time since he is getting older. (At that age unless someone was on fire I would not go into the bathroom if my dad was showering.) I could see how you would not want him embarrassed, but at the same time you have to let him know that seeing step mom or any other unknowing lady naked is not appropriate, I would just tell him you would prefer he not come in the bathroom anymore while you are in there (or lock the door) and hopefully he will get the message. If he persist you need to ask his dad to address it.

6 moms found this helpful

Take measures to make sure it can't happen again, and see what happens. If he tries to push for this to happen again despite you blocking it from happening...you should probably talk with your husband. It's quite inappropriate and does not need to be happening. If he were a young boy, it would be one thing. He's certainly not. If it doesn't happen again, I think you could leave it alone. If he tries to violate your privacy again, it needs to be handled. He might just be unaware of boundaries.

6 moms found this helpful

Congratulations...he is a normal healthy male. No biggie...stop the chats with a lock. If he asks, tell him you noticed the curtain is all but see through...and say no more...He will be mortified you figured it out, and all will be well after a few awkward moments. No coincidence...and no big deal. Pat your self on the back for being appealing enough to be watched, and move on.

4 moms found this helpful

Tell his dad-an accidental walk-in is one thing-but to come in and stay and talk? What would his mother say? Assuming there is one.

4 moms found this helpful

I would completely ignore it and be vigilant from now on!

4 moms found this helpful

I wouldn't make a huge deal of this.
I wouldn't even say anything to him.
Either lock the door or hang a shower curtain on a tension rod on the outside of the shower door that you can draw.
Seeing you naked won't scar him for life.
My son was raised by me and his older sister and he's seen naked females by virtue of living arrangements even though we didn't run around naked in front of him.
He is far less curious than his friends who have never seen their moms in a bra and panties before.
All you have to do is control how much he can see and leave it at that.
No need to disrupt family harmony over it.

Just my opinion.

4 moms found this helpful

hee!
i'm not sure whether to applaud his ingenuity, or applaud you for being the 'older woman' that pubescent boys are dying to look at!
i'd completely laugh this off, and just make sure he can't do it any more in the future.
not long ago my spare son (my younger boy's best friend) was bemoaning the fact that no one was stepping up to get him a stripper for his 19th birthday. i sighed heavily and pretending to start peeling. the look of utter HORROR on his face!
it was really funny, but also pretty depressing.
:D khairete
S.

3 moms found this helpful

We do lots of our talking in the bathroom, through the bathroom door, by the steps by the bathroom, etc. because that is where we are half the time!! Only have one bathroom. I raised boys and they often had their friends over and one time I took a shower, was making a mad dash with a small towel (not completely naked, but sufficiently uncovered and turned my head to see one of my sons friends at the bottom of the steps. Not sure if he saw anything but I was mortified. I did discuss it with my husband one time after and he kind of laughed and then clipped his toenails or something. I am afraid oftentimes it is more disturbing for us then men.

3 moms found this helpful

I am wondering if he thinks you know he can see you naked, so he thinks this is okay with you. You really should talk to your fiance about the problem you have just figured out. You both have to come to a consensus about what to do.

D.

3 moms found this helpful

Personally, I don't see why conversations between you and your stepson ever had to start taking place in the bathroom while you are showering in the first place. The bathroom is a totally private area in our house, except between me and DH, and then only if neither of us is using the toilet. I've been in my stepsons' lives since they were 5 and 6; they are now 16 and 17. At no point were they ever allowed to come in the bathroom when I was showering, unless they really had to use the toilet (only had 1 bathroom for years) and even then we had a full shower curtain keeping me hidden. They knocked, asked permission, and then were out of there as quickly as possible. We aren't uptight prudes or anything, just that there is a certain level of discretion that we have and there's just an unspoken understanding that the bathroom is off-limits to everyone else if someone is using it. Maybe it's time to simply start locking the door and if his stepson asks or says something about it, direct him toward his father.

3 moms found this helpful

I would ignore it but discontinue the 'shower time talks'...IMO, he is getting too old for that anyway...he needs to learn bathroom boundaries sometime anyway too. But overall, I think this sounds like normal curious 12 year old boy behavior.

2 moms found this helpful

I would "redecorate" if it is a shower stall, install a curtain right outside with a pull back that can completely hide you and converstation can keep on going, also keep a robe on the inside of that curtain as well to completely cover before getting out. I however would never discourage a child, teen from talking to me at any time as they at a certain age don't open up and you need that lifeline as long as you can hold onto it. This curtain won't cause you to have any converstations other than, I can still hear you through the curtain. I want to maintain my modesty but don't want to put a door between me and what may be a converstation that would never again have a chance to occur. Also this type of converstation style can be good because there is no eye contact and it may be a freer time of letting things be said that they couldn't at another time, like sitting down at a table.

2 moms found this helpful

have dad talk to him he is in puberty and probably curious but he needs to stay out of the bathroom when your in there. puit a lock on the door :) have dad tell him to respect your right for privacy and also get a lock on the door. my son at that age would have grossed out but your not technically mom. mine was caught at that age sneaking one of his friends dads penthouse with his friend.its normal to not want to see mom that is gross but you are not technically mom so my opinion is he is sneak peeking

2 moms found this helpful

Going forward, he should not be in the bathroom while you are showering. If he needs to chat and can't wait, he can stan outside of the closed door or you should wait to shower.

It could be a coincidence but maybe it isn't. Either way, he is too old to be in the bathroom with you.

2 moms found this helpful

I'd just start locking the bathroom door.

2 moms found this helpful

I have a stepson who is now 28 and we lived together since he was 4. I think this is normal 12 year-old boy behavior. I would find a way to block the view from the shower and see if he still is so eager to talk :-) I wouldn't make a big deal about it at this point.

Good for you for building a great relationship with your stepkids!

2 moms found this helpful

I agree with Bug about changing the shower door so it can't be seen through with the light on and such. If he presses to try to see you naked it's on purpose and something needs to happen. He's a sweet kid, but it could spiral out of control if he doesn't understand that it's not okay to trick a female so you can see her naked.

I also agree with Robin, tell his dad and tell his dad of your plan and both of you can keep it quiet and see what happens. It definitely does not sound like an accident... I mean, really, if I was talking to my dad and that happened I'd be like oh god, I'll talk to you in a bit when your dressed.

1 mom found this helpful

I think some bathroom time boundaries are in need or a new shower door/curtain is another alternative. It is great that they are so egar to bond but this might be an easy way to see a female naked that is not too weird or it could be totally innocent ... it is up to you to be descriet in this issue and no one has to know except everyone reading this online lol.

1 mom found this helpful

Wait, why is he in the bathroom while your showering??

1 mom found this helpful

How would the mother of your step son feel? I would be furious

dont' make a big deal of it..probably normal...change the curtain and lock the door..if that isn't working talk to the hubby!

Personally I would tend to laugh it off. I would change the curtain but laugh it off. In our house we have one bathroom, and the door can never seem to stay closed. Our kids are still really small (2 and under) so someone ALWAYS has to go potty when I am in the shower, or else my husband has an urgent question that needs answering as soon as the water starts. That is just the kind of family we are, and sounds like yours might be similar. I am with the other ladies and say don't fret about it, change the curtain and maybe have a quick chat with your husband about it. Obviously he's getting curious, and may need some "man to man" talking.

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