15 answers

My Son Seems to Independent for a 1 Year Old.

My son will be one on the 14th and Im finding his independence a little scary. He isnt in daycare, Im a stay at home mom for the time being and if I had to do something and needed to leave him with someone it would be my mother. My little sister has two kids and he is around them, but not ALOT. My point is, for a one year old I find him to be too independent. He likes to play by himself and doesnt cry about it OR he will play with our 2 year old puppy. I will admitt I don't know how to play with little boys because growing up I only babysat little girls, and I have two sisters, so I don't really know a whole lot about playing with boys. He is very smart, he says phrases like what is it? but he WONT say Mamma, and I thought babies usually said that before "WHAT IS IT?" My husband is currently deployed and isnt around to play with him, so Im trying to be Mamma and Dadda...but I find I have NO idea what Im doing. Any advice? And is it really normal for a one year old to be sooo independent?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Hey M.

My youngest went through a phase like this as well, it didn't last too long, so like all the other mom's say enjoy it while you can! As far as playing with him, he won't care, I grew up with brothers and had no clue what to do when I had a little girl they just like that I am there. I make up silly songs about them and what they are doing and they laugh, just follow his lead he'll teach you how he wants you to play.

More Answers

The only thing I can really tell you is that playing with a baby is playing with a baby. At this point he has no real male/female identity, that is learned, so play with blocks, ride a ride on, roll a ball, give him a doll. It really doesn't matter, he will just love the interaction with you.

If you are concerned about his independence you need to talk to your Dr. and ask them what they think. They can set up an evaluation of some sort if there is real concern there. These mom boards are wonderful for support but when it comes to something you are really worried about the best people to talk to are the ones who have an MD behind their name!

Good Luck!
J.

^^ well im a new mom/af spouse myself and i cant speak from experience, but from my reading and experience with boys (all boys on my paternal side, all male cosins and a little brother) I can say that he should be ok. If he can get along with the dog than its not to say that he isnt a social kid :> I'd say playdates are a good way for him to become more social and be more interactive with kids his age plus you get to meet other moms and see what games they play with thier cutie. Also, the fisher price web site has a very helpful e-newsletter that comes once a month and is customized for your childs age and has some great suggestions as far as games to play. One that is my daugheters fav. is Baby on the Bus
How to play:
Learning Skills:
• Anticipation of events

• Cognitive/thinking skills

• Object permanence and stability






It's time for a baby workout, set to the tune of "Wheels on the Bus." These exercises will help keep your baby in shape. She's never too young to start!

Materials:
• Soft blanket or towel on a soft surface
• Your voice

What to do:
1. Lay your baby on a blanket or towel, on her back.
2. Sing the following song, moving the assigned body
part on your baby as you sing.

Wheels on the Bus
(Bicycle your baby's legs as you sing the first four lines.)
The wheels on the bus go round and round,
Round and round, round and round,
The wheels on the bus go round and round,
All through the town.
The people on the bus go up and down.
(Lift your baby's arms up and down)
The wipers on the bus go back and forth.
(Roll baby from side to side)
The horn on the bus goes beep, beep, beep.
(Touch your baby's nose)

this is an example of some of the activites they send. :)
Also I know there is a magazine called "lowcountry parent" and it is free at some of the local shops like once upon a child and its a great resource for playgroups and activities in the charleston/summerville community.

I feel what you going through. My lil man will be 2 on the 18th. He is Mr. Independent. He dresses himself, changes his own Pull-Up (I just help wipe when needed), he cleans up after himself, he will clean the kitchen floor for me (he loves the Swiffer), put dishes in the sink, throw away any trash and play in his room without any guidance. That's just a small list. If I try to help him he gets mad and throws a fit. My son also said SpongeBob before Mama. I say don't discourage it. But at the same time don't encourage it. Try to take him places that there are other kids like the park or the play area that some malls have. That way he can still get socialization. He will still have times where he wants his Mommy. So enjoy the independence he's giving you to allow time for your things that need to get done.

hi. i'm not sure how much help i can be because i have a daughter rather than a son. but growing up i babysat mostly boys. it first i was really intimidated but soon realized that it doesn't matter what sex they are they just want your attention. get down on the floor and do what he seems most interested in. if you need an icebreaker sit down to play while he's playing with the puppy. start with one activity and follow his interest. it will get easier and easier. i hope i have been of some help to you. good luck!

Consider yourself lucky that your boy is independent! A lot of one year olds are still very clingy, and in need of constant attention. But you still need to have lots of interaction with him, and at this stage there is no difference between boy and girl play. So just get down on the floor with him, play cars or blocks, sing songs, read to him. Take him for walks, to the park, etc. Just keep talking to him, hug him. But also enjoy the fact that you can leave him for a moment to go to the bathroom or make lunch...alot of moms would be thrilled!

Hey M.

My youngest went through a phase like this as well, it didn't last too long, so like all the other mom's say enjoy it while you can! As far as playing with him, he won't care, I grew up with brothers and had no clue what to do when I had a little girl they just like that I am there. I make up silly songs about them and what they are doing and they laugh, just follow his lead he'll teach you how he wants you to play.

My daughter is the same way and it scares me a bit too. what I do is become a child with her. spin in circles if that's what he likes, make up silly songs that he can learn from. I taught her to count to ten by using her as a weight for excercise!! I didn't think she would pick up on it so fast now she won't stop counting. Pretty much act like a kid and remember their attention span is crazy short.

Hi M.,
Don't worry too much, Usually (imo) a child says "Mama" or "Dada" first because Mom and Dad are there to say things like "Go to Mama/Dada" But your son is speaking in phrases asking you what something is. That shows intelligence, not something to worry about. As for playing with boys that was a tough one for me also but i learned that there really is only slight differences in play. For instance, little girls want to go to the park and may want to ride those (bouncy things) a boy might rather play in the dirt ie sandbox building a castle or something or just building a mound of dirt that they can "crash" their truck through. They like to color and build things with lego's (They sell bigger lego's for smaller hands) You could try a zoolike game. And as he grows, no worries!!! Pokemon cards Yughio cards and video games video games,video games!!!! Good luck don't worry

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