My Son Is Throwing Food and We Can't Get Him to Stop!

Updated on September 08, 2006
A.B. asks from Antioch, IL
13 answers

My son is almost 18 months old and throws his food at every meal. We have tried taking the food away and ending the meal for an hour or so, but it doesn't seem to matter. He is not a very good eater and I think he truly doesn't care that the meal is over. Telling him "no" has never worked because he laughs whenever we say the word. I am looking for advice on how to get him to stop. It's so bad that I refuse all invites over to friend's and neighbor's homes because I know he will make a horrible mess. What should we do??? Thanks!

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So What Happened?

It's only been one day since I started this discussion, so it shouldn't be a surprise that I don't have a remarkable turnaround story to tell...yet, that is. What I do want to say is THANK YOU! The advice that all of you moms have given me is great! I will be instituting new laws in my kitchen starting with breakfast tomorrow, and I am looking forward to meal time changing soon. Cross your fingers and toes for me, and I will definitely keep you posted on the results. ~A.

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A.C.

answers from Chicago on

My son used to do the same thing... food was EVERYWHERE! He is now just over 18 mos. and he no longer throws food. THere really wasn't much we could do to stop it, he just had to grow out of it (my other 2 kids were just the same). One thing you can do is try and ignore him as much as you can, the more attention he gets from doing it the more he will do it.

Good luck and just be patient!

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R.

answers from Chicago on

Ugh! I hated this stage!! I thought it would never end, but good news--by about 2.5 it has completely stopped. Saying "No" rarely worked for us either. My daughter was amused and just laughed.

What i did was when she started throwing the food, I took her away from the table and told her when she "eats nice" she can go back. It sort of worked, but really what worked was the passing of time. She got old enough to realize that throwing food was wrong and got tired of hearing "No".

But just to let you know--almost all kids go through this. Explain it to your neighbors and friends and I'm sure they will understand...he's only a kid!!!

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

Our (almost) 15 month old does the same thing. He will actually look right at me, take his little arm with a piece of food in it and hover his arm over the side of the high chair, waiting for a reaction from me. He'll then take his arm back and put the food to his mouth, then take it away real quick and put his arm over the side of the high chair again! SO, he KNOWS it's not acceptable, but finds entertainment in playing with us. I tell him, "Jacob, we don't throw food. Mom doesn't like that." When he does drop it (and then look over the side to see where it went) I tell him, "NO!" sharply and take the food away.

I've heard that it's a phase and it goes away. Just hang in there and invest in one of those floor mats for easier clean up. Our tile floor is a buffett for our dogs when Jake is done eating and our friends 18M old son has ruined their carpeting.

Good luck to you.

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L.Z.

answers from Chicago on

I'm a new mom but recently read something that said you pull the food when they start the behavior and end the meal. They will quickly associate that throwing food means the end of their meal. Don't know if it works but thought I would throw it in there.

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R.

answers from Chicago on

I'm so glad to see that everyone else has this problem. When I say "Don't throw", my 12 month old grins and shakes his head then throws the food anyway.

For us, it helps just to give a couple of pieces of whatever he is eating. Then, if he does throw it, there isn't too much to clean up. Mine too doesn't eat well but grazes on a little bit of this and a bit of that - only a couple of bites of each thing, which means a lot of preparation but at least he eats something.

Best of luck...

R.

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H.W.

answers from Chicago on

My 13 mo. old has been feeding himself for about a month now. We occasionally have issues with him throwing food. He refuses to be fed, so that's not an option for us. The first time he throws or drops food on purpose I tell him "no, don't throw food." If I see him about to do it again I hold his arm (gently but firmly) and again tell him "no, don't throw food." If he throws or drops the food on purpose when I let go of his arm, I take the food away. He doesn't get his dinner back, but we will give him a small snack right before bed.

I've found that he is more apt to throw food if he's not hungry or if it's something he doesn't like. When it's something he likes, he gobbles it down in record time. We also don't put the whole meal in front of him. He gets a few bites to start with and then a few more when he finishes them. I've read books that stress praising him for good eating behaviors - we try to do this frequently. If the child is old enough, I've read that you should also have the child help you clean up any thrown food. My son's too young to help clean, but your son may understand.

My son's behavior is getting better at mealtimes, but it's not going to happen overnight. We've also had many tantrums during dinnertime when his food gets taken away. Good luck making this change. I don't think it's easy at any age. :-)

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A.

answers from Chicago on

UGH, my son did the same thing from like 15-19 mo. It was sooooo annoying! He would actually pick up his plate and dump it on the floor. We started reacting and then we would just ignore it, tell him that was not nice and we made him help us clean up the mess (which he did). We ended the meal abruptly a few times and then noticed that that didn't really do anything. He continued to do the throwing and he wasn't a good eater - so I felt bad ending his meal only to be giving him snacks later. I would say at about 20 mo. we instituted time outs. If he threw his food - he would get a time out. We told him that we don't throw food - only balls. He hated time outs - but it worked. Now, (he is 26 mo.) if he accidently knocks some food on the floor he says "no time out mommy, accident". We were very calm about giving him the time outs (talked calmly and our actions were calm) - we set a timer and he could not leave the chair (we put him in an upholstered chair in our living room) until the buzzer went off. We would also explain to him why he was getting a time out and then when the time out was over, we would ask him to explain why he was in time out (he is very verbal and could tell us) and then he would say I'm sorry and everyone would get hugs.

We also taught him that if he was done to say "all done" or to put his plate on the counter (his high chair was next to the kitchen counter). He eventually followed this and says "take it mommy..."

I think that we either gave him the time out after he was done eating or gave it to him immediately upon him throwing food if we felt he had enough to eat and putting him in a time out immediately wasn't going to make him go hungry. If it was near the beginning of the meal, we would tell him that when he is done eating he is going to get a time out for throwing his food.

You may want to try time-outs with the notion that we only throw balls, not food, toys etc. Good luck.

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H.H.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, my son was doing the same thing. He actually still does at times but it's much more manageable. All children are different but this is what I did.

Put pieces of food on his plate or tray, not the whole meal. Talked to him through the meal saying, "food is for eating" and demonstrate. Once he got a bite in his mouth, no matter how small, I��d say "great job, I like the way you eat your food," and I��d clap my hands or raise them in the air. Next time he tried to throw again, I��d say "show me how you eat," demonstrate and raise or clap my hands.

Now when he��s about to toss something I just have to say ��show me how you eat�� and he eats whatever it is and claps his hands. Now the trick is to stop with the clapping ��

Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with what the other's have said...just give him a piece at a time if necessary. Use whatever means necessary. Set a certain amount of time to finish. If he's not eating, put the food in the frige and take it out at the next meal. No snacks in between. If he doesn't eat it at the next meal, repeat the process. He WILL eat when he's hungry enough, and he will have learned that YOU are the boss and that YOU are in control, not him. Children know when they are being naughty, and if we let them, it sends the message that we don't love them enough to stop them from being naughty.

What is actually the bigger deal here is that he is not listening to your "no". This is a battle that must be won. He must learn to obey your "no". The first time you say it. Period. Not by counting to three...what if he's running toward the street and you yell "NO!". He needs to obey your "no" immediately. If he waits until you count to three...it's too late. He's in the street already. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and it is up to us to drive that foolishness out. That is what we are here for...to train them and raise them. They are not capable of simply growing up.

Hope this helps. Let em know if you want more suggestions in any other areas regarding "no". I also have a ton of reading suggestions. I have a 13 year old, a 4 year old and a 2 year old...I've been where you are! As a matter of fact, my 2 year old's breakfast today is his dinner from last night :-) He needs to learn...

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H.D.

answers from San Francisco on

Don't put his food in front of him, feed him. If it is finger food, give him a SMALL bite at a time. If it is soft food, use a spoon/fork and give him a bite at a time. If he complains calmly say that big boys don't throw their food, when he can stop doing so he may eat it by himself. It is a good time to teach manners as well, when he is done a bite and he wants more, have him say "please". Yes, it is treating him like he is 9 mos. old but he is acting like it. =) Believe me, at some stage he will be hungry enough.

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R.

answers from Chicago on

My son is the same age and has been throwing his food since he could pick it up. He eats better when he is in control, since every thing at this age is a control issue. We have removed the high chair and put a booster at our table and I only put a small amount of food on his plate at a time. I sit with him and eat, I tell what a big boy he is and how nice it is to eat at the table.

If he likes the food and is hungry he does not throw any of it. When he does throw the food, I tell him that we don't throw food and take it away, I will wait a few minutes and offer it again. Most of the time if he throws the food it means that he is not hungry, then there is nothing you can do. I offer him a yogurt about an hour before bed and try it all again the next day.

Just keep telling yourself that no toodler has every stared them self, and that he will eat when he is hungry.

One last thing, you might try just feeding him his three meals aday and no snacks, he might just not be hungry if he is drinking a lot of liquids through the day.

Good Luck and stock up on the paper towels.
R.

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A.

answers from Chicago on

Give him only a few bites at a time. When he finishes give him a few more.

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L.K.

answers from Chicago on

I believe that this is a stage kids at that age go through and it lasts quite a while. I have 2 boys (2-1/2 and almost 4) and both of them would take a few bites and then whip their hand across their tray or throw their plate on the ground.
Try not to worry about it, I know it's easier said than done but at that age it's just one of the many crazy things kids do.

Sorry I don't have a solution for you, but if he sees you getting frustrated with him I think he will do it more since he knows it is getting your attention.

L.

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