7 answers

My Son Is Fully Potty Trained, but Is Now Having Accidents!!

I FINALLY got my 4 year old son potty trained. It seemed like he just felt ready when he turned 4. So everything was going great! No more diapers to change!! At the beginning of January we moved and he finally went back to school after a long winter break. Soon after that I noticed he was having accidents during the day. It seemed as if he wasn't getting to the bathroom in time, but after trying to work with him on it, it seems that he just might be getting lazy about it or something. He's also had a few accidents at night and we have now fixed that by not letting him drink an hour before bedtime, as well as having him go on the potty just before bed. But I still can't get him to stop having accidents during the day, and I've tried many things.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Well things haven't really gotten any better. I've been able to get him to stop wetting at night and during the day. He's had a little mishap when it comes to learning to "shake it" or wipe himself better after he goes, then he gets some on his underwear. But what's even worse and more frustrating is that he's been having bowel movement accidents!! I don't know if he's just being lazy, or he's having too much fun playing and doesn't listen to his body cues. It seems like it's getting worse and I don't know what to do. I tell him every couple of minutes to go potty and that's not helping much.

More Answers

I'm a 61 year old grandmother and I had exactly the same problem with my older son when his little brother was born. He had been an only child for three years and here came a baby who got attention every time his diaper needed changing. Sound familiar? He was jealous. We started giving him special attention every time he used the toilet and he stopped having all those "accidents".

1 mom found this helpful

Sometimes big changes like a move or starting a new school can cause this. I would just be patient, it may pass soon. Remind him, and ask him if he needs to go often.
If you can get your hands on a book called The Magic Years by Selma Fraiberg, it may help you may understand the psychological aspects of what's going on.

1 mom found this helpful

I absolutely agree with Brenda, it is very normal for kids to have set back when something major changes in there lives
(ie. moving or the birth of a new sibling).
Another thing to watch for is growth spurts, I have a 2 year old who never had accidents, then one day he had one, and was very upset about it, he had a few more for about a week and then they stopped.
I talked to my sister about it and she told me both of her older two had the same problem.

My son is 4, almost 5. I went through EXACTLY what you are going through now. I started potty training my son by the time he was 2. He seemed like he had all the signs and was ready to go. At first, everything seemed to be going well. Then we moved...not once, but twice. I noticed that during those times or times of stress, he backed up and we would have to start all over again with training him. I would get so frustrated.

Sometimes, the stress of something major can cause them to have setbacks. Sometimes those set backs go all the way back to the beginning! When my son and I moved here to Sequim, WA...that was the worst setback. I practically started from the beginning. But now that we're settled in, (we've been here a little over a year) he's done great! I have him fully potty trained! Even at night! :D It could've been the move and school that had your son regressing. Something that might help, is to watch his cues and have set "potty" times. (I.E. When he gets up, right before/15-30 min after a meal, before a trip...etc.) That always seemed to help for us. And if you are at home? NO POTTY PANTS! I hated those things. They didn't do anything, but hinder his progress in the day time and help out a bit at night. Hope this all helps! Good luck! ;) ~B.

Hi M.,
He may also have had an incident at school that your not aware of. It may have taken place in the bathroom. Therefore his reluctence to go there. I'm not saying get peranoid but sometimes kids can be very mean. Maybe that could be a contributing factor. Or he could be scared for some reason. It doesn't sound like he doesn't know he needs to go but just holds it so long its bursting by the time he gets near the bathroom.
Just be very calm with him and talk about how things are going at school whats the bathroom like there. What do the kids act like? stuff like that you will be able to tell if he's got an issue with it. But give him time to restart his potty training and it should turn around if you don't make a big issue of it.
hang in there they grow up fast.

My older son also had accidents especially wetting his pants after he was potty trained. If it helps, it does stop. My experience is preschoolers just get very involved in what they are doing and don't always listen to body clues. Try to figure out when he is having accidents. Is it when he is watching tv or playing with friends? He will grow out of it and as frustrating as it seems now, it too will pass. Perhaps making more time for the potty and don't ask if he needs to go, tell him it is time. Most kids will tell you no, unless they are doing the "potty dance" Good luck.

it might have been the move.you said he's in school? i had to tell my son (who was almost dying to go to school) that only big boys went to school, and big boys go potty in the big boy potty. and eventually about a week before his school started, he quit needing pull-ups during the day. but my son is too hard of a sleeper to wake-up at night. but it sounds like it was the move, a unplanned (in his mind) change. let me know if you find out anything else. take care and good luck.
~J.

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