My Son Hates Shoes!

Updated on April 12, 2008
K.W. asks from Bristow, VA
29 answers

Hi everyone,
My 14-month old started walking about a month ago and now that he's gotten better at it and is more steady on his feet, I'd like him to start wearing shoes. However, every time I put a pair on him, he sits on the floor and cries, while trying to pull the shoes off He refusues to get up, even if I try to help him walk. He obviously can't stay barefoot forever. Any suggestions?

Thank you!

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So What Happened?

Thank you, everyone, for the great advice. I actually went out yesterday and bought him two pairs of Robeez shoes. He seems to feel totally comfortable in them and is walking like a champ. Plus, they are really cute! Thanks again!

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J.P.

answers from Norfolk on

Maybe try a soft soled shoe like Robeez or Pediped. I like them a lot and they are good for the development of the foot from what I hear. There are a ton of different designs and styles. I don't mean to sound like a sales person (I'm not one) I just had a lot of luck with them. Good luck to you.

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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

K., have you tried Robeez? Are those the shoes he's taking off? They might be a more comfortable alternative, if you haven't discovered them already. I think the www is robeez.com...you can order or find locations that carry them. HIGHLY recommended by pediatricians. :-)

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C.B.

answers from Norfolk on

My son went through this when he first got shoes too. We just had to keep putting them on him and he learned to walk with them. It took a couple days for him to walk with his shoes, but eventually he just wanted to go somewhere! Are the shoes soft-soled? I know that babies need the soft-soled shoes to start out in. It may help him if they're soft, then they won't be so constricting. Good luck!!

C.

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K.T.

answers from Washington DC on

My son was the same way! I did the same thing that the other respondent did, I got these cute leather slippers at Target (they have all different types with animals) and he wore those happily. After a while I took him to the Stride Rite store and let him pick out some big boy shoes, which he got excited about. I agree that the Stride Rites are the best! My son has wide feet and they are the only shoes that fit him comfortably. Good luck! :)

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M.H.

answers from New York on

Have you tried Robeez? Just some soft leather and a little elastic at the ankle. My daughter lived in those for 6-8 months. They are great for new walkers, very soft almost like being in socks with just a little more protection. I found them at Nordstroms only to find out a few weeks later that Babies R Us sells something similar for half the price. Good luck!

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P.P.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi K.,
My son didn't walk until about 14 months. I never put shoes on him, just non-skid socks. I went the Robeez route for a few months. I just switched to Stride Rite, but I got him sandals. I figured they are a little lighter than sneakers. I put thin socks on with them if it's chilly. We just wear them outside. Hard soled shoes are harder to walk in and it takes a while to adjust.

When we went to Stride Rite and tried them on he just sat on the floor and cried. Finally, some other kids came in and he was up and chasing them in a flash. Kids, go figure.
Good Luck,
Patty

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H.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi K.,
I am a physical therapist working with children and after reading your question a couple of things come to mind. It is good to have kids walk without shoes when it is possible, in the house or on the grass in your yard, but it is not practical in a store or on outings. Your son may like the feel of the ground and the different surfaces on his feet (even if he wears socks he still gets the input), have you tried soft soled shoes, like leather slippers? That may be enough to let him still feel the ground but wear shoes to go outside. Or the shoes may be to heavy for him, does he fuss with sandals and water shoes as well? Maybe take him to the store and have him try on various shoes and let him pick out the ones he likes, I have often had to do this with my kids (now 4 and 7) or I end up back at the store returning the ones I picked out.

Another, less likely possibility is that he may have sensory integration issues, an Occupational Therapist can figure that out, in this case it may be that his body reacts poorly to having shoes on and the input of the shoes is too much for him to deal with. Like I said this is most likely not the case, but if all else fails maybe an occupational evaluation may help as a last resort.

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S.B.

answers from Washington DC on

K.,
I have 3 sons, and I didn't experience this shoe aversion until my 3rd child. I thought he'd be thrilled to wear the sneakers I got for him, only to find that as soon as I tried to get him to stand in them, he cried! I decided to give it a week and try again. Same response. I did this a few times until one day when we went to the playground and he took off walking like he'd loved them the whole time. Maybe it'll just take some time for your little one to get used to the idea of feeling something on his feet. Just give your little one a break and try it again soon. If he gives you the same response, just continue to try after waiting a few days after each try. Soon enough, he'll be bringing his shoes to you to put them on!
Best Wishes!

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J.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Try the shoes that have soft soles in stead of rubber there in the baby aisle at walmart or target

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K.L.

answers from Norfolk on

Skip the shoes. There are differing opinions on that one. Some doctors will say: OH MY he needs good shoes for support. Others will say: babies are much more steady on bare feet when they can grip the ground and move around w/out tripping over shoes.
I let mine go bare footed as long as possible, its only natural. When time calls for shoes I would suggest the lightest pair you can find. NOthing bulky, or thick soled or stiff. You have to shop around. Bend the shoe to make sure its soft and flexible. Try Robeez. There are knock-offs at Target and other stores. You dont have to spend alot on them either. Just look around for the barest shoe and hopefully he will like them in time.

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S.V.

answers from Washington DC on

oh yes the hating shoes my son went thru it also i thought i would never get him to wear shoes. try like others have suggested the brands from target or walmart, the are really light weight and almost like having no shoes on at all. i made a big deal out of putting his shoes, would sing a song and clap after we put them on. i also would take me shoes and have him watch me put mine on. it took a little while but he got the hang of it. hang in there he wont be bare foot forever

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J.W.

answers from Richmond on

Hi!
You're right, your son can't stay barefoot forever, but he can for right now. He's little. No one will care whether he has shoes on or not. And if it's chilly outside, he'll probably decide he wants them on on his own because his feet will get cold. Then he'll feel like it was in his control, not yours, which will probably make him more inclined to put them on. I think kids, from an early age, want to feel like they have a say so in matters. Not having shoes on probably helps his balance, how he grips the ground underneath him. Putting shoes on will, temporarily, compromise that balance. Now that he's just found it, I'm sure he doesn't want to give that up just yet.

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J.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi K.~
Take a look at the size and type of shoes you have on his feet. They may be uncomfortable or even painful for him. It's important for little feet to have a very flexible sole and lots of room for wiggling toes. Maybe try Robeez type shoes first... the leather moccasin type. (you can find the same kind at Toys R Us for about 1/2 price of Robeez brand name. I think it's Koala brand shoes.) Now that the weather is getting warmer, maybe a pair of sandals will work better, just make sure they're flexible. Also, I'd only push wearing shoes if he's going outside and walking on rough surface. Bare feet are the easiest to learn to walk in. Good luck.

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H.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Similar advice here; my sons wore leather mocassins (sp?) first, which are almost as soft and flexible as socks. Obviously not good in wet weather, but both my boys loved them. They actually asked for regular tennies a few months later.

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S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Robeez are great! You can find them at Stride Rite, Nordstroms and other places. They are leather and soft bottomed so he can get used to something on his feet. They are very durable. Have him fitted at stride rite. Their shoes are more expensive but they are better for growing feet. You can switch to cheap shoes later. There is a Stride Rite outlet in Williamsburg. Good luck.

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K.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Try Robeez!!! They almost feel like socks.

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G.C.

answers from Washington DC on

My son didn't like his shoes at first either. He did the same thing, sat on the floor and tried to pull them off. First make sure that the shoes fit properly. Take his right shoe and match it to the bottom of his left foot.. make sure there is some wiggle room for his toes. Do the same w/ the opposite shoe/foot, sometimes one foot is bigger than the other. As long as they fit ok, don't give in to his fustration. Leave them on at least an hour a day, and let him get used to them. When he is calmer try to get him to stand up and walk. Stride Rite shoes are wonderful, but they tend to be heavier and stiffer than some of the other brands. They also cost a fortune. I bought 3 different shoes before I found a pair that worked for my son. The payless brand of baby shoes worked best and didn't cost a fortune. (I did some research and found that the payless brand are actually made the same as the striderite brand.)
Good luck. Try not to worry - soon he'll be running all over the place.

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K.C.

answers from Washington DC on

The only time we wear shoes is when we are going somewhere, or outside to play. It's actually better for their foot development to walk without shoes, so unless he's walking on a dangerous surface or out in public, I wouldn't worry about the shoes. He will learn that if he wants to go outside to play or go somewhere with mom he needs to wear shoes.

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi K.,

Take the shoes off. How does he do with slippers?

He will out grow his issues with shoes, don't worry.

D.

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E.C.

answers from Norfolk on

One word...Robeez. Check their website at Robeez.com and they have good advice on the development of your childs feet, and why soft sole shoes are the way to go when children first start walking.

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J.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi, K.. I have experienced your frustration, as my 21-month-old daughter also dislikes shoes. She began walking around her first birthday, which was during the summer, so I let her go barefoot as much as possible. However, I also went to Babies R Us and found some Koala Kids (I think) sandals that were basically all cotton, except from some rubber dots on the soles of the feet. She tolerated those for short walks outside. Any heavier shoe, like leather from Target or Walmart met with cries of frustration and immediate attempted removal, like you are describing. A few weeks later, she was much steadier on her feet and wanted to walk further, so we then went to Stride Rite. It turned out that my daughter had very wide feet that also tended to puff out over the insteps of many styles of shoes. She needed a wide, t-strap style to accommodate her feet. Now I know that Stride Rite shoes are expensive, but once we had their help fitting her and getting her into a proper wide shoe, a width that seems to be excluded by many cheaper shoes built to supposedly fit all feet (ha ha), she tolerated the real sandal without complaint. It was worth the extra money, to be certain. I hope this helps a bit. Good luck to you.

-Jennifer C.

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A.A.

answers from Washington DC on

K.,

My Son is also 14 months, he didn't like shoes at first either. they felt heavy and bothered his feet. I started him out on the leather slippers and then moved him to shoes. It allowed him to get used to having a little weight on his feet. Also finding the right shoe that is lighter makes a big difference. Try Stride Rite shoes, they are great.

A.

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S.W.

answers from Norfolk on

Kids usually don't like shoes, the soles, especially if they are not super flexible inhibit their natural balance and the growth and strengthening of their foot and leg muscles. Have you tried Robeez? Target even has a similar kind, they are like leather socks but tougher, and super flexible so they can have their feet protected but still use all those muscles. Good luck!

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J.J.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi K.. My son (now 3) hated shoes too. He would remove them soon after I put them on him. If I succeeded in putting them on, carrying him out and into the car, they would be off before I hit 1 mile! Imagine this on a cold winter day and late for work! So I started him with the soft leather shoes. You can get them at Target or Babies R Us. They don't feel like shoes at all. Plus, your child's feet are more protected outdoors than with socks alone or barefoot. That is what worked for me. My second son on the other hand is different. He started walking at 7.5months and I used the soft leather shoes then. He turned one in Jan, and he started wearing and walking/running in shoes in Feb. So, your son will at some point wear regular shoes. I think just patience is needed here.

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M.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Give him a little more time to feel like he's mastered walking. Walking barefoot enhances his ability to keep his balance and when he has shoes on he may feel handicaped. Imagine trying to work at your laptop with mittens on. When he's ready again make something special out of it, like shoes with his favorite action figure on them or shoes that match his sisters.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

My son went through this, and he still hates socks to this day. We used robeez for a while although the elastic cut into his chubby ankles and he soon learned to pull the off. Then we went to Riley-roos, which are a leather version similar to robeez but they have a sole to them so if he walks outdoors I didn't worry as much about the dirt. Then when he aged out of those, we had him sized into a soft leather shoe barely barefoot I think is the name. Most of the time he doesn't wear the socks. I let him go barefoot in the house. He soon understood that no shoes = no out. And he loves going out, so he will put them on and even bring them to me in the morning when he wants to go out. I do have to check frequently to make sure he hasn't taken them off. I've had to back track several times in the grocery store when he silently dropped them. Just a word about Stride Rite, my daughter used their shoes and did fine, but their shoes run narrow and my son who has wide chubby feet has never been able to find a pair there--so be mindful of that. When you go to a children's shoe store ask their recommendations, I have found the salespeople to be very helpful in most of the shoe stores we have shopped. Good luck. soon he will learn to adapt to them.

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D.C.

answers from Washington DC on

My husband and I were just talking about this the other day!! Our 18 yr old daughter was the same way...dad and daughter often laugh now about how difficult it was to get her to put or keep shoes on!!! To this day she sleeps with her feet sticking out of the covers!! She did get over it and went to preschool with those shoes on! I would say don't stress out about it too much.

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M.N.

answers from Richmond on

I agree with the other posts - try the soft leather shoes. We started out getting the Robeez brand, but switched to the less expensive Target brand, which seemed just fine. We also found the Stride Rite shoes to be best (again, pricey but worth it). My daughter cried when we tried on other brands, but not with the Stride Rite. Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Norfolk on

try to get fun characters that he enjoys.

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