B.H. asks from Edna, TX on January 16, 2007
My Son Hates School
My son is 9 years old and has had a very hard life. When he was 6 he had brain surgery be cause his veins where cloggin up.First he had the surgery on he's right side then a month later he had it done on his left side. If he wouldn't have had the surgery he would have had a stroke. He went through a long heeling process but, it finally got back to normal. He is a slow learner tho and this year thye kids started bothering and making fun of him at school. Now I have to fight with him to get him to got to school he cries and says he doesn't feel well. Please help me figure out what I should do. I feel for my son cause I love him so much and I thank God for sparing his life. If I can only make it easier for him at school then he would want to go.Please help!
So What Happened?™
Thanks to everyones advice I finally got up my nurve to talk to the teacher about the kids teasing my son.I don't know what the teacher did but my sons aditude toward school changed completly. Now he goes to school willing and does his homework without a fight. Thanks everyone
Featured Answers
M. answers from Houston on January 16, 2007
Oh, this breaks my heart!!! Poor guy has had it so hard already, and kids can be ruthless! Is it possible for you to sit with the teacher and ask for a few names of students who may take them under their wings and then speak with their parents? There are always good eggs around. Also, to help build up his self-confidence enlist a local big-brother organization? Just random thoughts. Good luck with this - you'll get through this.
More Answers
A. answers from Houston on January 17, 2007
Call his teacher find out if there's at least one friend in his class that your son might be friends with. If not see if the teacher could possibly suggest if there's a kind soul in his class that could help your situation. Once you have that one of maybe even two child then reach out to that child's parents. Set up "playdates", yes he may be too old for playdates but something similar. Something that will allow the other friend to get to know your son. If your son does not have much of a personality and just can not make friends try enlist the assistance of one of the older sisters who may be the best in helping him come out of his shell and one that he would "work" with without animosity or resentment. When kids look forward to seeing friends at school or have someone that they can hang out with at school then it makes school that much easier for those that don't like school. Its good that you are trying to help him or identify the problem now, bc it will get harder as he gets older but I'm sure you knew that. Good luck.
V.B. answers from Alexandria on January 16, 2007
I would either put him in a private school preferably Catholic because they are very compassionate and wonderful teachers or I would home school him. I, too, have a slow learner. I am teaching her at www.time4learning.com and she loves it. I would not put him under any pressure since he has been so ill. Some children can be very cruel and dangerous and they may hurt him permenently. God bless and guide you to make the best decision.
E.H. answers from Tyler on January 17, 2007
B. I feel for your son and his predicament. Please talk to your school counselor, she is a person that deals with this subject day in and day out. Many times she'll be your kid's refuge when teassed and she might even give him some small solutions about how to get out of a situation. You might want to also consider placing him in another classroom with another teacher and new classmates. In the mean while I'll pray for you to get good advise and for your son to be empowered to face bullies.
M. answers from Houston on January 16, 2007
Oh, this breaks my heart!!! Poor guy has had it so hard already, and kids can be ruthless! Is it possible for you to sit with the teacher and ask for a few names of students who may take them under their wings and then speak with their parents? There are always good eggs around. Also, to help build up his self-confidence enlist a local big-brother organization? Just random thoughts. Good luck with this - you'll get through this.
S.F. answers from Shreveport on January 17, 2007
I agree with the others in that you should make an appointment with the counselor. I have had some experience with this my son is Dyslexic and a slow learner. It took me 2 years and alot of fighting to get the testing i needed to get him into the programs in which he needed to suceed. So don't give up keep pushing.
G.M. answers from Lafayette on January 23, 2007
Hi B.:
It seems like he doesnt like school because of the problems he is having there. Is anything being done about the other kids making fun of him? The school needs to do their job here, even if it means him having someone nearby him at all times to make sure he isn't being teased or made fun of. My experience with the school system is you have to be pushy. Seldom will they just do what they already should do without being pushed into it. He should not be having such a miserable time at school; are the children doing the teasing being reprimanded? Has anyone stood up for him to these children to let him see that what they are doing is wrong? Maybe try a reward system also, something he really realy likes..if he gets through each day at school then he gets a daily reward and make the rewards a little bigger weekly then months and see if that helps. I hope you can find something that will work for him. Too many children end up out of school because of things that could have been handled when they were in the school system. Good Luck
M.N. answers from Little Rock on January 17, 2007
Think about a Church school. The rules tend to be a little different there. I wish you could stay at home, maybe you could homeschool your son and grandchildren if your daughters could help with your finances. It sounds like you are already sensitive to his needs, dont loose sight that these children are hurting his feelings which sometimes can hurt wors than broken bones.
S.K. answers from Minneapolis on January 17, 2007
B.,
I would definately talk to your child's teacher, both about getting extra academic help and about the social situation. Make sure the teacher is aware of the teasing. She or he cannot stop this completely or filter everything your son is told, but she can be aware and talk to the children about how people are supposed to treat each other.
Your son needs at least one good friend. Although there are some bad eggs out there, there are also some really nice kids, ones that would make great friends for your son. Find out from the teacher who they are and have her help you set them up. Call their moms and schedule play time together on the weekends or have them over for dinner.
Best wishes,
S.
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