21 answers

My Son Has ADD and ADHD Help

My 6 year old son has ADD and ADHD. I was wanting some advice on how to deal with it. He is drivingme up the wall and plus he is not doing good in school. It is so bad that he is getting held back in school. Plus it takes me along time to help him with his homework cuz of ADD and ADHD. Please helpme cuz I also have anexity disorder so I need help to deal with it so I won't have my attacks. I don't want to go back to the hospital if I have a sevre attack.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I am going today to the DR to get my son on meds for his ADHD. It is still hard but I am trying to handle it. Thanks for all of your help.

Featured Answers

first off I have 2 boys that have adhd and you are right it drivees you up the wall. What I did and would do it again take him to a psychiatrist and ask about medication to control it. He will not be able to sit still and learn in school attend sports or anything else. One of my sons is on adderall xr which he takes once a day the other is on concerta which you also take once a day. He is just so hyper that he can't still for long periods to do any one task and you need some help with that.

T.,I have 2 sons one has ADD and one has ADHD.It is very frustrating I know.My oldest was held back in 1st grade and now my youngest may also be held back in 1st grade.My youngest has horrible outrages and does not think the rules apply to him.They both are on meds for it.The only thing I can tell you is if you haven't already take him to the doc.and go from there.For as homework don't fight him on it I ended up doing this I told him you either do it or you get a zero the teacher tols me if he don't do his homework he will do it at recess.It his on him and he has to learn the concequences for his actions.That help you I don't know but don't fight him that just gets you worked up and it's not good on you I have the same anxiety problems too and it's is not worth having an attack.If he sees that what he is doing isn't affecting you he may stop a certain behavior at that time.When my son gets too out of hand we make him go to his room and he does not like that because he can't do any thing that he wants to do he has to sit there that helps at that time.I hope this helps good luck.Try different things til you find what works for you.
J.

More Answers

I am a mother of 4. My oldest son (now 24) was diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, at the age of 6. He was put on ritalin just to keep him in school. We were scared of the medication but had litterally no choice. At 33 I was diagnosed with rhumitoid arthritis. Aftet being told there was nothing that can be done by the "Professionals" and that I would be in a wheel chair by 40 ,a friend told me of a homeopathic dr. After testing he explained that the SYMPTOMS were that identified as Rhumetoid Arthritis but the cause was that I had a sluggish liver. He put me on a detox diet with some supplemments and with in 30 days I felt like I did in highschool. I then told him about my son(14 by this time). After some testing we were told he was allergic to dairy!!!!! Of which he drank a gallon of milk every 2 days!!!!Not all allergic reaction are itching sneezing and runny nose we find out!!!!! We immediately took him off of ALL dairy and started using soy products instead. Within 6 months he was off the rittalin and doing great!! He is now attending college with a 3.8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get HIM CHECKED!!!!! If you don't already have a homeopathic physician go to netmindbody.com and click on find a physician!! Don't know where you live....but I'm in oklahoma and go to Dr. Dustin Thomas!! By the way I am 46 now and gave birth to healthy beautiful indentical twin boys at 40 not a wheelchair!!!

1 mom found this helpful

I also have a child that has ADD & ADHD (as I did when I was a child - actually I just had ADD). She is 7 years old.

My advice will actually be a lot of work for you, I'm afraid, but it will help your son learn how to deal with his ADD/ADHD on his own as he grows into adulthood - which is our goal as parents, isn't it...

How I solved the dilemma of my child in school was I homeschooled. When I homeschool, I chose my curriculum very carefully and aimed for one that catered to ADD/ADHD kids (there are a lot of them out there, really). Actually, the homeschooling with the proper curriculum will probably be easier on both you and your son than trying to make him do standard curriculum in a public school and have to stay on target with the other kids. This way he can take more time on the subjects he struggles with and get ahead in the ones he loves... I'd try to find a homeschool conference in your area and at least check it out...

I know that's what my mom did with my ADD, and I've never had to be on Ritalin or anything of the like and have learned how to deal with it myself. Ritalin and other drugs of the like should be avoided if at all possible as they have been proven to lower a child's IQ. Something I definitely wouldn't want to deal with. Actually, ADD/ADHD kids are smarter than their counterparts without it - i.e. Einstein, Edison... Your child just isn't being taught in the way that is best for him & this causes frustration in him making him lash out with the hyperactivity. Cure the frustration and you'll solve a lot of the problems...

I'm afraid that this is the only advice I can give you. It'll be a little bit of work in the beginning, but it will be a lot better in the long run. Just think of the hyperactivity as being similar to your anxiety attacks - they come when he gets frustrated. This might help you sympathize with him. Plus, you have the opportunity to help him manage them at a young age so that he won't have trouble when he's your age.

Hope it helps,
Julia Good

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter has ADD. She has been on medicine (Concerta) for this for a long time...6 years. I only put her on it because she couldn't learn. When she was in kindergarten she couldn't remember the alphabet and couldn't remember the order of numbers...no one would help her. She started 1st grade and they wanted to send her back to kindergarten....I told them no...that I would figure out what to do for her, because the had the whole last year to help her and they didn't. I took her to a psychologist and had a really thorough examination of my daughter done. The doctor pulled out the DSM IV and read off exactly what she was...word for word was my daughter. She wasn't hyper...I didn't have a clue....I thought maybe a learning disability (because they do go hand in hand). So, then I had a decision to make...make it hard on her and her teachers or make it easy on her. I hate that my daughter takes medicine every day, but I know she needs it. Once we started her on it in first grade she went from them wanting to send her back to kindergarten to reading on a third grade level and teaching others math concepts. Being ADD doesn't mean you are stupid...it just means you cannot concentrate.
Now, we have altered her diet...you can find a list online...and we try to make sure that she gets enough sleep. Studies have shown that a high number of children that are described as ADD/ADHD aren't---they are sleep deprived. Children need at least 10 hours of sleep a day. We were able to reduce her medicine once we fixed the sleep aspect.
I don't know if your son is on medication...you didn't mention it, but I am thinging not...if he is then his medicine isn't working. My daughter has a form of ADD that requires her to increase her medication as she grows...most kids stay on the same amount. The Best advice I got from my pediatrician when I took him the psychologist report was "if she had cancer you would treat it, if she had diabetes she would treat it, why do you hesistate to treat this illness?" I went home and told my husband we were going to help our daughter be the best she can be. She is an A+ student and is absolutely wonderful. We have reduced the stress in the house a considerable amount and it really does help.
Don't rely only on a pediatrician, get a whole team involved and see what your options are. Pray about it. Be a protector of your child...make sure...if he has an IEP that they are doing the modifications that are required. Children with ADD/ADHD have short term memory problems and they had trouble writing things off the board. I made them give my daughter handouts that she could read from instead of the board. Handwriting is usually horrid for children of ADD...they don't grade her handwriting as hard as others. Things like that can take the pressure off of your son. My daughter also tapped in class....couldn't stop it. So we gave her a mouse pad to tap so it wouldn't bother the other kids. By the end of the year the teacher had bought a bunch to hand out to any kid that needed them.
Diet, sleep, medication, modifications....these are all ways to help ADD/ADHD. But with all of these is SCHEDULE SCHEDULE SCHEDULE. Color coded when younger and then more specific when older. It will help your son but will also help the whole family.
I know that I talked a lot about my daughter's experience, I am sorry for that, but that is how I relate. There is a stigma that is wrongly attached to ADD/ADHD children. Like above, if a child is diabetic the school bends over backwards to help the child, but ADD/ADHD is something horrid that they don't want to approach. Be your child's spokeperson with or without medicine...they depend on you to help them. I have some information and am willing to talk if you want. My number is ###-###-####.

1 mom found this helpful

T.:

Is you son on meds for his ADHD? If not, he may need to be assessed. Second, does he have an IEP at his school? Those two suggestions, would be your first step in helping him deal with his ADHD. Next, it would be helpful to see someone (both of you) both learn coping skills and (for him) ways to relax and focus. I work with several kids right now who are ADHD, and they are all doing much better in school...with just a little help. Good luck to you.

A. L

I so feel your pain. I'm going through the same thing with my own boy right now. He's on medication and the truth is the medication wears off by the time he gets home from school and he's like a wild man from that point on. I too am at the end of my rope when dealing with his bad behavior and if he does stuff in school like being mean to the teacher and other students well that just pushes my buttons too. I also have anxiety problems.

Here's the deal, when they act out in class and it causes reactions that they feed off of. Like the old boy in the cartoons that liked to poke a stick at the lion. The angrier the lion got the more pleasure he gets. Our boys feed off that anger it energizes them. The more we feel overwhelmed the more supercharged they get. So it's up to us. We have to feel calm, project calm, and feed calm into their minds.

Now my boy doesn't have homework. He gets to read his vocabulary list, read and learn a book but those are extra activities so I don't have any skills to help you there but maybe you can move this to after little sister goes to bed so you're not so distracted and he sees that he has more of your attention.

My baby is also 3 years younger. The two of them are only a month away from being your kids ages. (they have the same birthday) Here's what we do for them. Tiger is the youngest and we start bath, books, and bed at 8 for him. While Tiger is in the tub, G-man is on the computer. Starfall.com, noggin.com, pbs.com he has his own folder of favorites and he's only allowed to go to those sites. It's fun for him and he relaxes doing these things. We then have 30 minutes to devote entirely to Tiger. Reading for 20 minutes before leaving him in bed to watch a video and fall asleep. at 8:30 G-man starts his bath, books and bed. He's reading so we've added learning games to his time, this will also become home work time.

I would suggest taking the ten minutes he's in the tub and get him a snack. look at his homework and see if you have toys that can help. Then you two sit down and play through his homework. If he finishes the next problem, sentence, group of words he gets to play for 5 minutes. (call it taking a fun break) as the weeks progress you can add one more sentence, problem or list before he gets to play. Maybe by Chirstmas next year you'll have played your way through the whole sheet.

Here's the other step.
Don't critcize, ask questions or give commands during play time!!! Believe me it's ooooo soooooo hard but if you say things like
I like the way you.. stacked your blocks
You put... those red blocks together
I'm going to make a stack just like...you did
giggle when he giggle
and do it all with enthusiasm then he will relax even more and so will you.

I'm learning this all in Parent Child Interaction Therapy. G-man's bad behavior has destroyed our relationship and it sounds like you're not too far from feeling the same way.

I'll be here for you if you need to vent. It's better if we vent here rather than screaming anyway. I've been so out of sorts, I know G-man's bad behavior is just feeding off my own.

T.,I have 2 sons one has ADD and one has ADHD.It is very frustrating I know.My oldest was held back in 1st grade and now my youngest may also be held back in 1st grade.My youngest has horrible outrages and does not think the rules apply to him.They both are on meds for it.The only thing I can tell you is if you haven't already take him to the doc.and go from there.For as homework don't fight him on it I ended up doing this I told him you either do it or you get a zero the teacher tols me if he don't do his homework he will do it at recess.It his on him and he has to learn the concequences for his actions.That help you I don't know but don't fight him that just gets you worked up and it's not good on you I have the same anxiety problems too and it's is not worth having an attack.If he sees that what he is doing isn't affecting you he may stop a certain behavior at that time.When my son gets too out of hand we make him go to his room and he does not like that because he can't do any thing that he wants to do he has to sit there that helps at that time.I hope this helps good luck.Try different things til you find what works for you.
J.

Hi T.! I definitely think medication could help your son, but also, it could help you! My son does not have ADD/ADHD, however, I personally have suffered from severe anxiety since I was 5 years old. I really feel for your situation. The more anxious you are, the more your child will pick up on it. I never wanted to take meds for my own anxiety situation, until I realized that my son was being negatively affected by it. One day he asked his daddy, "Why does mommy always feel sad?" And I knew I had to call the doctor, suck it up, and get on some medication. And it really turned me around! I have taken 50mg of Zoloft, plus Xanax as needed, for three years now. It's like I got myself back! You don't need to be worrying about going to the hospital with an attack, or worrying that your son is becoming fearful of the world or of you because of the attacks. Both of you have to get better to have a highly-functioning family! Don't hesitate to e-mail if you have any other questions. :)

Hi T.,

I don't know if you have been educated on this subject by any dr's. This is something they may not tell you about this so called disease. It is not a clinically diagnosis, only a hypothesis. I went through this same battle with my son. I worked for a chiropractor and learned many things while I was there about ADD & ADHD. I've seen many children while I worked there (including my son) who were diagnosed with ADHD, and whose parents didn't want to drug their children. It stems from a pinched nerve in the Cervical area and causes children to act out like this, due to the nerve signal not being at full function. In fact there was a study done at the University of Texas and is still in their archives if you would like to check it out, about children with this disorder who stayed on meds and the ones who got chiropractic attention. The results with the 2nd were 100% different than the ones who oppt for meds. I would really just suggest trying it for your son and for yourself. I can recommend your name to the Dr. I worked for and he would be more than happy to at least give you a consultation free of charge if I give him your name. It really is worth a shot. I hope this may help you.
A.

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.