My Son Doesn't Seem to Be Gaining Enough Weight :(

Updated on January 23, 2009
R.A. asks from Eagle Mountain, UT
17 answers

I am really scared and just don't know what to do. My 6 year old son just does not seem to be gaining enough weight. Every time he goes in for a checkup his weight percentile has dropped. At 3 years his weight was at the 28th percentile, at 4 years the 29th percentile, at 5 years the 15th percentile, at 6 years the 9th percentile. It keeps dropping. I don't know why he's just not growing! His height is doing fine and is following his curve well, but his weight is scaring me. I just don't know what could be causing this. He is healthy and active and is a normal boy for the most part, but I sometimes wonder if he has a physical disorder or syndrome or something that is preventing him from gaining weight. I just don't know what to do aside from feed him more, and give him fattening foods. I don't want to just load him up on junk to get him to pack away some weight, though. So I guess my questions are what do I do? Does anyone know of some problem that might be causing this, that I should look into? Do I need to have him tested for anything? How do I get him to eat more? Please help.

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J.G.

answers from Pocatello on

My little girl is 3 years old and just hit twenty pounds! So I understand the stress. We met with a Dietitian and she told us to try Benecalorie. It comes in 1.5 oz cups. In each cup there are 330 calories, 7g of protein, and calcium. There is really no flavor. You can just mix it in his food or in a drink. You can get it online at Nestle Nutrition. www.nestlenutrition.com/us

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H.F.

answers from Pocatello on

I have the same problem with my 3 year old, she is only in the 5th percetile and it bothered me, but her doctor told me that if I try to overfeed her it can lead to obesity later in her life, which I am scared of because it runs in my family. He said that he is seeing so many obese children these days that he is more concerned about that than about a lean child. His advice was to just keep giving her normal portions (and a child's normal portion is smaller than an adult's) of healthy foods, if she does not chose to eat much, so be it. But like you I really want to avoid too much junk food so it is hard because I sometimes fall inot the trap of bribing her to eat her veggies so she can have dessert, I certainly don't want to let her have a dessert if she has not eaten a real dinner first! I know it is hard not to worry about our children, but I think that getting too anxious about this issue will do you and your son no good, and may do harm if it leads to unhealhty eating habits. So just hang in there! Serve only healthy foods, if you want to up his fat intake make them healhty fats from fish, nuts, flax seed, avacado, cannola oil, etc. Try peanut butter sandwiches on whole wheat with flax seed and brown sugar sprinkled on top, or try making avacado dips for veggies, use good foods to make a healthier child! And about those percentiles, they are based on averages, being in the 100th percentile does not mean that a child is 100% the right size, it just means that he is on the larger end of the spectrum. Some kids are just leaner and some are larger, it does not nessesary mean that they have a problem.

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

That happened to me one time, and my doctor didn't seem to think it was a big deal. At the time, my son was just 4-5 months old, but he hadn't gained any weight since his last visit. I couldn't believe that the doctor didn't have a problem with that!
So I did my own thinking and figured out the problem was my milk supply. If I hadn't found out on my own, corrected the problem and seen an improvement, I would have made a big hullabaloo at the doctor's office until they paid attention.
My point is that doctors don't have mother's intuition. And if you really think there's a problem, you may have to raise a fuss. There is a wide range of normal, and doctors see a wide range of normal children, so they can't always see that something abnormal is happening with your child.

I think that it doesn't sound too hard to cut out gluten from your son's diet for a while, but I don't know how long it takes to make a difference. So maybe you want to call up your doctor's office and ask them if he can be tested for Celiac's. They'll probably have you make an appointment. Don't let the doctor tell you not to worry. That's another thing I've learned--doctors see a lot of paranoid parents, so you have to be confident and a little demanding to convince them that you're not just another hypochondriac parent!

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M.W.

answers from Fort Collins on

R.,

Sometimes they just do not gain weight. I had a skinny one also.
But with a history of diabetes in our family, I had the doctor check for diabetes, and make the doctor check his thyroid.

If those two things are ok, then don't worry so much.

If he like peanut butter let him eat what he wants.

My 16 year old grandson is 6'4" and weighs about 130 pounds.
He scares me, but he eats everything is sight and is so active.

Just make sure you have your doctor do a complete blood panel on him and check for a thyroid problem or diabetes.
Usually blood work will show pretty much any ailment.
A "complete" blood panel.

Good luck dear.

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J.D.

answers from Denver on

Get his tonciles checked. One of my nephews and a lady that I know both had little boys with these issues and it was the tonciles needed to be removed. They really didn't have any other warning signs. Good Luck!

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M.H.

answers from Denver on

The 15th percentile is still normal. If he is eating healthy food and is active, I think he is probably just fine. I would make sure he is getting healthy food (veggies, fruit, whole grains, good protein and good fats) and not worry too much. I would stay away from empty calories (candy, chips, fries, even sugary granola bars) that will just make him put on fat, and not give him the nutrition to grow. You could also try supplementing with a good quality oil to make sure that he is getting high quality EFA's. I like the Carlson's brand and Nordic Natural brands of fish oil which are both tested for PCBs, heavy metals and other contaminants by 3rd party laboratories.

I have a thin one--only she hovers at the 3rd percentile--and all you can do is feed them when they are hungry. If you are concerned, a call to the doctor might be helpful as well. Talk with him or her and see if there is any testing they thing could be helpful, or if they are suspicious of any disorders that could be causing this. If not, it will help you to keep form worrying about it.

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S.D.

answers from Fort Collins on

Little kids are just skinny- I was skinny, til junior year of highschool, my dad was skinny til he hit 48 or so. My husband is skinny and he eats crazy amounts of food and never gains any weight. My sister was very athletic and when she was 12 her doctor told her she was "overweight" she is not and has never been "overweight"- that doctor's comment triggered an eating disorder that my sister struggled with throughout her adolescence.

The "normal" weight levels are very unhealthy for us as a culture. Not that obesity is healthy, but to tell a 12 yo girl she is "overweight" because she has a lot of muscle mass is not appropriate. Plus they are based purely on height- body type is an important consideration.

As long as your son is healthy and has energy I would stop thinking that there is something wrong with him. He is perfect; if he feels unhealthy or runs-out of energy easily maybe have his thyroid checked or some blood-work to determine possible allergies or nutritional deficiencies. Please don't tell your boy that he is "underweight" unless he isn't eating and you're worried.

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R.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My first son did not gain any weight from age 2 to almost age 6. When he started kindergarten I thought they are going to think he is a neglected child that never gets fed. In truth though, he ate a lot and was very healthy and happy. Finally about midway through the school year, he suddenly gained 10 pounds. I didn't notice any change in his eating prior to that. So there probably isn't anything to worry about, but it certain doesn't hurt to get the Celiac blood test or have his tonsils looked at as suggested by others.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

The most important thing is your Pediatrician concerned?
I have a very petite little girl, she is seven and weighs barely 45 lbs, is 46 1/2 inches tall. At one year of age she was only 16 lbs.
She has managed to finally kick it up to 15% but was well below all her life.

My Pediatrician said if they have good appetites, good energy levels and are growing in height he is not concerned. So I have had to really relax a bit. She will eat a TON during a growth spurts, she is full of energy, rarely gets sick so I just have had to not worry. She is healthy but just able to not gain a lot of weight.

If your Pediatrician is concerned, then he/she should be giving you a nutritionalist to consult with and a game plan to help figure it out. He is growing in height and that is a great sign he is fine. Does he have lot's of energy, able to be attentive in class, does he get sick often?

You shouldn't give him high fat foods either unless your Dr said to, that can cause rapid weight gain or other issues. Bottom line is if he has a high metabolism at some point in his teens it very well could stop and you don't want him having weight issues or self esteem issues.

If you trust your Dr, let him or her guide you on when to be concerned and if they are what you should be doing.

I make sure my daughter eats three healthy meals, I don't add anything additional to her diet, she drinks 1 percent milk like the rest of us, I let her have snacks, make healthy choices for her, allow her the occassional junky food and just chaulk it up to her being fortunate to have a high metabolism. My Dr said during puberty that all changes and if they have fatty eating habits they can gain very fast and that is not good.

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S.P.

answers from Great Falls on

you can try supplementing a snack or two with Carnation mix or pediasure. Those are healthy calorie loaded drinks.
I had the same problem with my oldest. He grew taller but didn't gain any weight. He's fine now at 13 and I feel you should just wait it out. Good luck!!!

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J.R.

answers from Grand Junction on

R.,

My niece was a very petite child, gangly even. WIC thought that my Sister-in-law was starving her and didn't believe the food diaries. A home visit cleared that up. Some kids are just less dense weight wise and more petite. Thank goodness we are not all the same. What I would tell you is feed him normal foods, no low fat, no fat free, do whole milk and lots of fresh whole foods. Don't limit the amounts, and encourage him to eat healthy servings at mealtime. Don't overdo the snacks, especially if they are sugary, if he is hungry in between meals, give him real food which includes protein. Encourage him to move around a lot and use food for fuel. This will help with muscle tone, and muscle is heavy. Also, a good children's vitamin will be helpful. Good luck.

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M.H.

answers from Boise on

Is your doctor concerned? My son is super skinny and his doctor says that for once there is a healthy kid around. Kids know when to eat and when to not eat, we as parents mess that up for them and sometimes end up making our kids overweight. I would not worry about percentiles or anything like that. If your doctor is concerned then maybe there is need for worry, but if the dr. is not I would just chalk it up to a growing boy.

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

You could try high fat. That's what we do for our son. We do a lot of avocado, whole milk and milk products, extra fat on his foods like veggies and mac and cheese. Some of it he likes and some he doesn't and it's always changing, so we just switch it up. One thing the doctor said was no juice for trying to gain weight. It's empty calories that affects your blood sugar without really adding weight. I'm sure if your doctor isn't worried, it's probably fine, but I also know they don't seem to get worried until well below the 9th percentile. I'm always amazed at what our 5yo eats if it's something he really likes. Maybe just find what he likes and offer it a lot. It doesn't necessarily need to be high-fat or bad, just really yummy. Congratulations on the new one on the way!

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M.S.

answers from Denver on

my neice is 5, she is over 4 feet tall but only weighs 35 pounds... its like she's been put on a taffy pulling machine, she just keeps getting taller, but not gaining too much weight. it used to be a constant source of stress and worry for my sister. She started seeing a new pediatrician who had a little bit more encouraging things to say. e.g. it would be more of a worry if she wasn't growing AND she wasn't gaining weight. if they eat well, are pretty healthy and happy... and have nice skin, shiny bright eyes and healthy hair and nails, then you probably don't need to worry so much. I think you are on the right track, you don't want to just load him up with high calorie foods... just keep his diet varied and healthy... he is probably just an active, growing boy... his weight will catch up eventually.
good luck!

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C.C.

answers from Denver on

Hi R. - sounds like your son is still growing - he's just growing up rather than out. Look at it this way - would you be worried if your son was slightly chubby and at your next 2 appts, he gained no weight but grew taller? probably not. Your son isnt losing weight, his weight is just static.

Perhaps keep tabs on his diet for a while - limit sugar but don't limit fat - feed him well with lots of the great healthy foods that he loves, pizza, peanut butter, macaroni and cheese, fruit - whatever he likes. Maybe even supplement with PediaSure. Encourage him to finish his meals if he gets distracted or in a hurry. If he eats a school lunch, encourage him to not take the yogurt and cheese stick selection. Pack a snack for him to eat in the afternoon.

I know how we moms worry - but I encourage you to not try to peg him with a diagnosis. You could have the doctor draw some blood and test for thryoid, celiac and diabetes but all of those usually have other problems that present other than just static weight.

edit: The only other thing I can think of would be to restrict his consumption of any of the new "vitamin" drinks. He might be having drinks or fortified water that have metabolism boosters like ginseng, etc.

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

Hello
My daughter started not gaining weight at 12 months. It sounds very similiar, she was growing on her growth curve but not her weight curve. She ate well and seemed healthy to me. After almost 2 years her dr tested her for Celiac Disease, it's a blood test. It came back positive. Celiac is a hereditary autoimmune disease where the body attacks gluten in the body. Since then she's been on a gluten free diet (no wheat, barley, rye). We can not believe the change in her. it's been wonderful. Since it's a simple blood test, it's definitely worth it.
Hope this helps!

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

Hi R.,

I had this same problem with my daughter but when she was younger. My Dr was very concerned because my daughter starting at around 15 months to about 3 years old was in the - 3 precentile on the growth chart, she was dropping and not gaining. My Dr did do blood tests on her and checked her thryoid, I would make sure he doesn't have HyperThyroidism. I wouldn't worry too much though, my daughter did start gaining weight and has been doing great. All her blood tests came back negative. She is still skinny but is very healthy. We love our pediatrician, she is great .Good Luck! K.

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