My Son 10 Monthd Does Not Want Other People Holding Him

My youngest son used to do the same thing. He'll grow out of it. My son was attached at the hip to me because I was a stay at home mom. I was the only one he was ever with. He got used to it when I started leaving him with friends/family more just for an hr or so at a time so that he could get over the clinging to mommy thing. Most of the time he's just giving me a hard time, just to make me feel guilty I guess, but it passes not long after I leave.

It's totally normal. He has stranger anxiety. Just let him be your monitor and let him be with whoever he wants to be with. I wouldn't dump him off with somebody. This is just a phase and it will be over with. Just be patient.

It is normal at that age. It will pass, however, not anytime soon. So, simply just carry him, and tell people that he only wants mommy now :-)

Separation anxiety is a normal developmental stage. In many cultures babies are carried pretty much exclusively by their mother until they are a year old. If there isn't a real reason why your child must go to another person it seems to create a healthy emotional foundation for a child to be in direct contact with a parent or someone they trust. Like everything else, this too shall pass.

Victoria, mother of 2 girls (one carried in a baby bjorn and the other in a maya wrap for many many many months-years?). They are now quite independent and extremely social at almost 4 and 6.5 and have been that way for some time.

E.,

I know the scene well. I stayed at home with my son all his life. But, I needed a break too, with his father. (date nights). I know the struggle that goes on, but if you trust the person you are leaving your child to, the struggle only lasts a few minutes after you have closed the door.

My parents were not local, but visited as often as they could and we would visit them as well. I found that when they came to our home, my son would cling and refuse interaction with them. If I ran an errand shortly after their arrival, a trip to a convience store for example, when I got back after just five minutes, he had relaxed and was playing and interacting. The rest of the visit would go well and I would have extra hands with the children during the visit. If I did not do this, it would take two days and the visit would be almost over.

You are attentive, and bonded, if you trust your family, get a quick break, and show your child that he can trust family too. Don't allow them to take it personally when he chooses not to interact, he gets to interact on his terms. Just try the quick removal of yourself, out of the house completely for a few minutes, and observe before re-entering. You may find that he clings and cries until you are gone, plays and interacts while you are gone and then cries again when you return. Doing a quick glance before re-entering helps the resolve.

Yes, it would actually be easier if you strapped him to you! Definately get or make a good sling or wrap and start wearing him ASAP! The more closeness you give him now, the more independent he will be as he learns that he is safe, protected and develops a sense of security/trust in people other than parents. Every baby is different, and he needs closeness to Mommy or Daddy while his comfort and security naturally gets more developed. Don't be embarrassed! This is just his personality! Be proud and happy that he has bonded so wonderfully to his parents and trusts in your care and security! One day he will not need or want to be held close...

I would NOT recommend handing him off and walking away nor forcing him to be more social than he is showing readiness for. Go very slow and let him take the lead by you following the signals he is telling you about his comfort level around others and especially going to others. When he is ready, you will see it. If you force him, it is quite possible that you will create an even more insecure baby or it will slow his path toward independence... ie he may become MORE clingy for fear of being handed off or pushed beyond his current limits. Let him build his confidence and don't break the bond of trust that he has formed with you....he looks to you to be there for him and protect him, especially when he is scared or feels vulnerable.

My son is the exact same way! Take it as a compliment to the wonderful parenting you have given....he will be pushing you away soon enough. Right now he needs you to stay close. Wear him A LOT! Just tell those loving friends and family members that he is still getting comfy with others and that they shouldn't take it personal either. He's just a Mommy and Daddy's boy, for now....

I think it all depends on why you want him to be happy when others want to hold him. It is because you feel embarras or worry to hurt your family feelings or because you need to? Maybe you are thinking in comeback to work or need some time alone with your hubby?
If is only because you are worry that he never will leave your side, than don't worry, I am sure it all change as he grows. If it is because you need it then I recomend if possible to allow him to get to know the person slowly, you may want to start by your carry him and let somebody touch his feet while you talk to the person and smile, maybe your mom can hug you so he can see. It was a time when my younger daugther didn't like it when my oldest hold her, and my oldest would feel so sad, I told her that it was just because she was a baby and she need her mom more now. Well, that feels like years ago because now, nobody make my little one laught as much as my oldest. She still need me to put her to sleep but she don't have any problem been with her sister alone. Now I have to say that I think that is wonderful that many of us can be with our little ones 24/7, but I also have been in the other side where I had to work when my older one was a baby, and I had to help my baby to get use to somebody take care of her so momy could work. If you don't need to just give it some time and if you do, just be sure is with people that loves him and do it as sow as he needs but be constant. Maybe good if he sees your family hugs you too (be sure to don't cry when they do, lol)

Hello E., your son is very smart, he knows what he wants. Don't let anyone just to hold him, let them know that he wants to get to know them first...get familliar with their faces. In addition, this might also be a speration anxiety phase, it will pass...

my 18 month old still does this from time to time. He'll grow out of it. Try not to worry about it- one day he won't want you to hold him!!

Honestly if I were you I would enjoy it while it lasts. It is more than likely a phase he is going through. Also does this happen all the time or just in crowds? Can his Dad hold him without this happening? My oldest daughter never went through this and my youngest did for just a few months.