My Sister Is Driving Me Crazy!

Updated on December 05, 2011
J.S. asks from Green Cove Springs, FL
11 answers

Ugggh. We went in together and got my parents a stove for Christmas. Since I live out of state she was supposed to set up the installation of the stove. We bought the thing the day after Thanksgiving and it's still not done. Fine, my aunt told us that she would take my folks out on a Sat to Silver Dollar City to see the lights so we could install it as a surprise. My sister decided to take her up on the offer and was setting everything up for the 17th of December. The problem is she didn't tell my aunt...

So Friday night I get a text from my parents. Guess where they are? That's right! They are at Silver Dollar City with my aunt! So I called my sister, and she was livid. So I asked her what my aunt said when they talked and my sister says..."Well I sent her a text"
Fantastic, my aunt doesn't get texts. So the whole thing just blew up in her face.

Not only that I told her that doing it on a Sat is probably not a good idea anyway. If she wants to take the stove to a scrap yard it has to be during the week. So she says, "Oh well we will just put the stove in the yard until we are ready to move it." Oh yeah, mom will LOVE that (insert sarcasm). The thing is, my mom is out of the house from 9-12 Mon - Thurs, my dad works full time. My sister has a couple days off during the week. So it would be just as easy to do it during the week and not have the damn stove in the yard!

So, last night I called and asked if she had any idea what she was going to do, and she tells me that I am driving her crazy with this. She is going to call my aunt (a different one) and see if she will convince my mom and dad to go to breakfast, then she is going to rush everyone through and get it done, still on Dec 17. I told her that's funny because she was driving me crazy about it all too!

Uggh. At this point do you think I should just give up? She bought the stove with a credit card, and I sent her a check for my half, so it's in her name. Since I'm not there, I would have to get other people to help. She obviously isn't going to listen to me. Do all older sisters do this to younger ones? Just assume that we don't know what we are talking about? UGGGGH.

Thanks for letting me vent....I feel better now. :)

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So What Happened?

I totally agree about the surprise thing, I would much rather her just get the damn thing done. LOL. Oh yeah, THEY want to do the surprise to "Film my parents reactions". Hello? They are getting a new stove, not winning the lottery. She did order the stove, there's no question about that. But, I think everyone is right I am just stressing out too much about it. I am just afraid they are going to mess around too much and not get it done before Christmas.

Really and the putting the stove in the yard is just dumb, mom is going to hate that, and I don't blame her! So it bothers me that this nice gift will be tainted in a way. But, you know what. We will be there on the 21rst and if the stove is still in the yard we will take care of it. So, I really need to let it go.....Definitely the last time I collaborate with her though!

Featured Answers


answers from Washington DC on

LOL - I hate joint gifts. It's always a mess.

Can you just pay for someone else to install it? There are people all over who can do that stuff and are looking for jobs.

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answers from Chicago on

Does it really have to be a surprise? I would be just as happy if I knew. Maybe it would be less of a headache that way. Hang in there =0)

5 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

I guess my big question is why do your parents need to be out of the house when the stove is installed? It will be a surprise either way. clearly at this point you and yoru sister are getting upset with eachother over stuff that's really not important. Give eachother some grace and realize taht this is the stuff of life that gets in the way of the real stuff. Do not allow it to!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

I think you guys are focusing on the "surprise" part a little too much and the "new stove" need a little too little.

Just have your sister have the stove delivered & installed.
The store WILL take tho old one or move it to the curb FOR them.
Really--this has gone on long enough.
Have her arrange the delivery, already!
They need a stove--not an orchestrated surprise, right?

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Bloomington on

Why Dec. 17th? Sounds like a money thing to me. I'd check into that if you care to.

Secondly, go on CL and find someone willing/wanting to pick up the stove for scrap metal. There are always several posts wanting scrap metal. Or does it still work? Put it in the free column on CL with your email address.

I've always been the away sibling and the only sister. It can be aggrivating! She feels that because she lives there, it will get taken care of, even at the last minute. You feel because you are out of town, it needs to be planned and handled. I'm a planner and need things handled. I get that. :)

Either let her handle it all or ask her if she would like you to do it (all).

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Hartford on

If you want something done right, do it yourself.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Been there, done stuff like this a bazillion times, that is why I try sooo hard not to get involved in together gifts anymore :( It's just not worth the turmoil, and for something that can be soooo simple, it's always blown way out. Not to mention, my husband & I are usually left footing the bill - oh, can you feel the love! I hope that it all works out for the best!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

LOL - I hate joint gifts. It's always a mess.

Can you just pay for someone else to install it? There are people all over who can do that stuff and are looking for jobs.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on


Find out if the stove has been ordered. Did you give her the money and she used it for something else?

Talk to her - find out if it's been ordered. If not - then get your money back and order it yourself. Pay for the hook up - in your last post you said it was gas - so Home Depot and Sears don't do free hook up - fine.

Instead of complaining about it - take action. Obviously your sister is not doing anything about this - or it's not as important to her. Take over. Take control and stop bugging her about it. Just tell her to give you the information and it's done.. have your aunt be there if she can for the delivery while your mom is gone during the day and be done with it.

I'm not trying to be mean - but really - instead of complaining - while I get that you live out of state - DO something - just tell your sister to give you the purchase information and YOU will handle it. That will be the end of it.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Charlotte on

Not a different answer from last time - let it go. It's nice that you let your sister know that the aunt doesn't get texts - younger people forget that - but you've done enough. And you ARE driving her crazy. It's a big gift - you can't make everything perfect for your parents. If they get upset because of temporary issues with the old stove, then they aren't very appreciative about a new one. My dad drove me crazy years ago when their washing machine broke and I put in my old, perfectly servicable machine that ended up lasting for 18 more years for my mom. Instead of saying thank you to me, he asked "Are you sure it isn't rusted underneath?" WTH? I sure hope you don't have problems with your family like that! LOL! (This is my memory venting!!)

Anyway, your sister has to do the lion's share of this. Even if she followed your thought processes to the letter, there is no way of knowing that it would work anyway. These companies say between 9 and 12 and they show up at 3:00. That's why it drives working people CRAZY because they end up having to take a whole day off of work, even for the cable man...

I'm glad you feel better venting here. Now stop venting to her before she blows a gasket~


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

I would just let her do it, she is the one in charge of installing so I would let her do it. Stop calling and texting her. It's not even close to the 17th which is the date it is supposed to be done...I would be annoyed too, it does seem she is not doing anything but it's not time for her to do anything yet.



answers from Tampa on

You need to either take over and get this done your way, or be quiet and let her get it done her way. You are just creating needless tension here. If it bothers you so much, then just tell your sister that you know that she is busy and would it be easier if you took care of it from your end?

Next question: Trying to Be Patient.