My Sick Days Don't Come Close to His Sick Days...

I've been the provider in this situation, and it's very scary to have someone elses child who is acting sick without any way of really knowing what it going on. You can't take the baby to the doctor, you have no nursing staff to check on babies, and until you really get to know each baby in the room it's hard to tell what is illness and what is just an irritable baby.
We also at one point had a baby come down with RSV, and all the other moms were pissed off at ME, because I had "allowed" a very sick baby into the room (RSV looks just like a cold at first) and multiple other babies got it, which then caused several moms to miss lots of work.
It is a really hard line to draw, when to call mom and when not too. You also have some mom's who want you to call them whenever their child is having a hard day, and some who don't want to be bothered with anything.
I would imagine your best bet at keeping little one healthy would to have him in a small daycare (homecare possibly) so he's exposed to less germs, and check their sick policies ahead of time; some people send home kids with 99 temp, some not until 101. Some let you come back the next day, some you have to be fever free for 24 hours, and some you have to have a Dr note to come back regardless of whether it is something contagious or just teething.
Good luck with your search!

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Sounds like your daycare provider is a little hyper. I've never seen young young babies get sick - they still have antibodies from their mom for months & months. at 99.9 degrees it could be his normal temp. Maybe you need to find a new daycare provider?

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It sounds to me like you need a new daycare.

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Does this person have experience with babies?
It sounds like this person is hypervigilent or very anxious.
I've done daycare and I certainly didn't call the parents over every little thing or expect them to come running all the time. If kids are truly sick, and it happens, then a child should stay at home, but a baby fussing or "acting like" he has an ear infection isn't anything to immediately panic over.
If you just took the child to the doctor yesterday, I'm wondering why the daycare provider is so carefully checking his temperature.
Some babies run a little on the warm side. My own son was one of them. 99.9 was pretty normal for him and wasn't considered a fever.
You don't want a provider that never notifies you of anything, but it sounds like this person is way too nervous and may not be the best provider for you. You might need to find someone who doesn't think that every sneeze or bout of fussiness is a sign of illness.

Just my opinion.

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When I had my daycare, I always made the parents have a back up plan so if their child couldnt come to me for whatever reason, they had someone else to keep the child. You need to have someone who is willing to take your baby when your daycare cant. I dont know how working moms do it when their daycare flakes out on them.

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I feel your pain. I now have two children and the first year they were each in daycare was the worst! I used to be one who would roll over all of my PTO and sick time each year because I was never sick and rarely took off! Then the first year after my son was in daycare my husband and I were both out of sick time before June!
I think daycares certainly know the fact that babies get sick a ton the first months and year they are first in daycare and many have seen sick signs for years by other children - they are getting to know your child and want to ensure he is ok. As time goes on and he gets older they will know his 'signs' etc. and believe me - the calls will get fewer...Really - that first year my son was born and the same when my daughter was born I don't think me or my husband worked a full 5 day week!!!!!!!!!! Best of luck!

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Are you the only person who can be called when the baby is fussy? Do you have a husband or a mother or a sister who can take some of these calls? And are the day care people being overly cautious about all sick kids or just sick newborns? I think it's hard to look at a baby and say "he's acting like he has an ear infection." What does that mean? Is he pulling at his ear? Is he just fussy? Are they worried about losing clients because kids are getting sick? Is everyone there taking precautions and washing hands a lot?

And yes - it's really hard managing this. Boosting his immune system will help enormously. I've got a lot of friends/colleagues who do this, and their kids just aren't sick.

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This works for my family, but obviously I do not know what you or your husband does so it may not work for your family. My husband and I alternate sick days and we even alternate doctor's visits. Now sometimes it doesn't work out exactly 50/50, due to schedules, but I would say in the long term it is pretty close for us. It helps us both to not deplete our sick time and it helps share the burden too.

Now our daycare may let me know that we have a "potential" problem, but I am not required to pick them up unless the fever goes over 100 or they are obviously sick. I would check with them again as to what there actual requirements are and check with some other local daycares too.

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It sounds to me like they are trying to get an easier day by having him go home. Something doesn't sound right about this. There's being careful and then there's being lazy.

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This is the hardest part of being a working parent. I'm home for the second day in a row with my 3 yr old who has a low-grade fever and just isn't acting himself. Think of it this way... it may be teething, but then again he may have a viral infection. The first year of daycare is the worst and they are home all the time b/c they are exposed to everything. It really does taper-off after that.

Can his father take a day off with him? Is there anyone who can watch him for the day (mother, MIL, sister, friend, etc)? I have a meeting tomorrow morning that I simply cannot miss (or there will be no money to pay my employees next year) and my husband has a meeting that he rescheduled from earlier in the week b/c our son was sick. As much as I really don't like asking for help, my MIL will be here in the morning and then I'll come home in the afternoon.

Talk with your employer and see if (depending on your job) you can do some work from home or come in after hours. I'm working remotely for 1/2 of my day today b/c I don't want to zap all of my personal time either. My husband went in at night on Tuesday to make up some of the hours. It may not be possible depending on what you do, but it's worth asking.

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I put my son in daycare at 5 months. He was sick almost continuously for the next three months. I used up all my sick days and most of my husbands AND mother-in-laws days to care for him. Then we got a nanny, and although she was more expensive then the daycare, it worked much much better for us. We put him back in a preschool setting at 3 years, and at that point his body was much better able to cope with the exposure to germs.

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When you take your son to the doctor when they send him home, get a doctors note. They may be able to let you return him to day care the same day and then you can return to work.

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I dont have any sick days :(
I would look for a new daycare. I use a home day care. She calls if they have a temp of 100, but allows them to stay unless it becomes 101.
I think its good that they arent allowing kids who are sick, but infants do get fevers and as long as its not over 101 they are allmost always ok.

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Hi C.,

Oh my gosh I feel for you - and the first 6 months are the hardest!!!!!!

Hang in there! This will all be over in about 6 months as he builds up his immunity. If you were home with him once he went to school Kindergarten would be this way. But yes, it's tough in the beginning.

It's tough to be a working mama for this exact reason. Once they get older figure in field trips, parent teacher conferences, holidays, in-service days etc ONTOP of sick days and some months can definitely trigger panic!!!!! This is exactly why they have the term 'mommytrack'. It's very frustrating. Basically, I end up taking a TON of unpaid days and I go to work when I'M sick so that I can take off when SHE'S sick.

I would definitely look into other daycares. To have to go get your kid with a temp of 99.9 is a bit ridiculous. Most daycares are 100.1 or over and diarreha, rashes, pink eye etc. Is this a center? Sometimes bigger centers have a more flexible policy. Some even have a nurse on staff so you are only called if he's really sick.

I would look on sittercity.com as well and find a college student who has some daytime flexibility who would be willing to pick up your son when he's sick. It's also a good idea to have a sitter you like so you and hubby can start date night again - it can be tough the first year and especially if you are all stressed out over work and sick kiddo and everything that goes along with that. So, I would urge you (with all your extra time hahahahaha) to try and go out once a month even if all you do sit on your front lawn and hold hands.

good luck!

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I'm sure it's very frustrating trying to find that work/life balance, but you are talking about a newborn baby. You NEED to know every time he seems like he is not feeling well. Babies under 3 months old are often admitted to the hospital if their fever goes over 100.4 degrees, so I say kudos to your daycare center for recognizing this and keeping you informed! Would you rather the alternative and realize that your child was sick when you picked him up, and the daycare never even noticed? I'm shocked be all the responses telling you that it sounds like the daycare center is the problem. We're not talking about a 3 year old here, this is a brand new baby! As challenging as this first year can be (especially for a full time working mom), cherish it - you won't get it back and it goes FAST! If your job is not understanding that your child is your priority, find a new one. Sorry if I seem abrupt at all, but this is one thing that I have a pretty strong opinion about. I do agree with the home childcare provider suggestions as well. My kids did not enter a large center until after they turned 2. The less germs, the healthier the baby... Good luck!

Can dad take some of the sick calls? Or maybe a relative every once in awhile? I am a single parent with a very demanding job but sometimes one of my parents can take a sick day with my son. When they are young they tend to get sick a lot, especially when they first go to day care, until they build up their immune system. Also, your day care provider sounds like where I had my son first. They called for every minor thing and wanted me to pick him up. I ended up switching to another day care. They still wouldn't allow sick kids at school (of course) but if he had a minor fever due to teething or if his allergies were bothering him one day they would watch him during the day and let me know about it when I picked him up. I can't tell you how much less stress the school was I switched him to. It made a big difference for me at work. Hang in there! It gets easier as they get older.

So you are saying it was 98.9 under his arm, they added a degree (making it 99.9) and called you??? That's ridiculious! First, I would sit down with the director and ask what the sick policy is. Where my son attends preschool, in order to attend school, they can't have had fever within the last 24 hours, and no crusty red eyes (pink eye) or other obvious signs of infection. If the baby goes from being happy one day to crying all day long, yes, possibly he's getting sick, but maybe not, maybe he's just gassy, maybe he's just adjusting to life outside of mom's comfy belly! Ok, I would also ask your peditrician what guidelines he would have you use for bringing the baby in. My pedi usually says fever over 101, extremely fussy or irritable, or not eating/peeing/pooing. Other than that, it's all mother's intiution. So then, back at the meeting with the director, explain that you have used all your sick/personal time having the baby and although you are happy that his caregivers are vigilint and wanting to make sure he is not ill, you really have to be judicious with your time off. So, explain what you would like in relation to their policy. If the policy is over 101, tell them you'd like a phone call if he seems to be sick, but you'll evaluate the situation and make a decision, but if it's not over 101, you probably are not going to come get him since the pedi doesn't say to bring him in unless it's over 101.

I would ask them what their "sick" policy is. Most daycares are over 100, then you have to pick them up. Are they asking you to pick him up or just letting you know that later, when/if his fever goes up, you would need to pick him up. Hopefully it will get better as he builds his immunities up...

http://www.aroundtownkidsplano.com/SickChildDaycare.htm

Many child care centers are held to a higher standard than home care due to licensing requirements and in their paperwork they have a sick/fever policy that you signed (agreed to) when your kiddo started. So in terms of being sensitive - nope - they are on-par with many, many centers.
You could go with a home-based child care arrangement, but make sure they are registered (similar to licensing for home based care). No reason to compromise safety and quality for convenience:)
OK, but back to what you wanted to know. . .I have had two kiddos and it was soo challenging. what I did was sit down and speak with my boss to let her know what was going on and is there any way I can make days up on weekends, work at my desk through lunch so I didn't have to loose hours, etc. I have been extremely blessed to either have this flexible arrangements when hourly and then move to salary where it kind of mattered, but not really as long as you got the job done:)
My suggestion is to talk to your boss and not that you want "special" privledges, but are there ways you two can work around these sickness issues without you taking days unpaid. You might be suprised at the response. And the blessed reality is - it won't last long. Soon immunity will be brought up to speed and you'll be wondering how did your little one grow so fast?!
Hang in there!

Likely you already thought of having a nanny and decided against it for one or more reasons but if you can afford it, it makes the whole sick day thing MUCH easier... I knew my husband would always be "too busy" to take time off to cover sick days too so if your husband is like that as well, you could consider a nanny. There are some centers that take sick children. Not sure in your area but you could do a search.

I agree they sound like they are a little too sensitive when it comes to illness. But, that being said, Primrose called me to tell me when Mac got bit by a mosquito - just to let me know. I wonder if that's what they are trying to do, just keep you informed???

I used all my days on maternity leave as well (and of that 3 of my weeks were paid via my sick days, and the other 3 weeks were unpaid. That was a fun paycheck to get!) and once I went back to work and she started day care, we went through ear infection he!!. I do know that after about the first 6 months, her immunities started to build up and she wasn't sick as often. And now, I have only had to stay home with her once this year for a tummy bug.

I would call around to some other day cares, and ask about their sick policy. See if there is anyplace that sounds better. I would also talk to your current day care about your concerns.
It will get better, I promise!

When I had my second child it was a never ending battle to keep him well; he was getting sick every month. I took him to the doctor every month for the lovely pick stuff and he would take it for ten days be well; then guess what the next month to the was sick again and back to the doctor we went.
I was introduced to a product to try for infants. It ws not in my budget but I tried it anyway. My son is now almost 16 and does not get sick; so I know this will work with your child. The product is a multi-viatmin & mineral with prebiotics for immune support, vitamin d essential for strong bones and teeth, it actually has 23 essential vitamins and minerals including A,C,E and folate, biotin, iron and zinc to grow strong and stay healthy.
The product is Shakleebaby for infants item # 20057
you can purchase this at: http://choice-wellness.myshaklee.com

Every product is guaranteed to work and it is 100% money back quaranteed so there is no risk in trying it. If you try it for a month and decide you do not see a difference; you can return the empty bottle for a refund, no questions asked.

Hope this helps and wish you well.

I don't have any answers, but I can commiserate with you.

The daycare sent my son home for "Slapped Cheek Syndrome", a virus when his little cheeks reddened when he got hot. The doctor laughed, but sent a note to them, so they would quit sending him home.

On the other hand, my son was constantly sick. I paid $90.00 per day for someone to watch him at home that was willing to work on an on-call, last minute basis when my sick time ran out. And this was almost 20 years ago. Of course, I still had to pay the day care to keep his place.

My son had many illnesses, one of which turned out to be a parasitic infection that went on undiagnosed for 15 months. My health suffered because even though I had someone to care for him during the day, I still had to care for him through the night. Finally, I quit for a few years. It was all too stressful. Full time care in my home would have been another option if I I made a bit more money. For us, it was simply not worth it. It is not for everyone, but I really enjoyed staying home with him.

I don't know what to tell you but an understanding and flexible boss really helps.

I get the brunt of that too at my house, I'm always the one.
Do you have a husband, mother, sister, girlfriend that can pick him up and care for him til you get home, then make an evening appt if needed?