My Potty Training Dilema?? Please Help

Others might not agree with me, but the easiest way to get your son potty trained is to wait patiently until he is ready. I know alot of parents want to rush the kids out of the diapers for a variety of reasons, but if he is not physically or emotionally ready, you will have more frustration than it is worth. If you don't want to go back to diapers, use pull ups or cloth training pants with a pair of rubber pants. He should go into the bathroom each time mom or dad go, and encourage him to just sit on the potty chair until you are done. Eventually, when he is ready, he will pee in the potty chair and you should praise him and get all excited about it. The most important thing you should not do is get upset with him when he has an accident. Just tell him thats okay, maybe next time. The more excitement you show when he does go in the potty chair, the better. He will want to see that excitment and get that praise from you for doing well. Good Luck

What works best for you depends greatly on the type of person you are. I am very laid back and it was pretty comfortable for me to just wait until the child decided to "just do it". That doesn't mean that I didn't get impatient EVERY time at some point and try to intervene and push them along. But I was able to get myself back into my waiting posture because ultimately, that is more comfortable for me. So I can tell you from my own experience that there is no such thing as a child just not potty training because you don't require them to. I just experienced it again (for the 9th time)with my 2 1/2-yr-old daughter who I was beginning to accuse of just not wanting to (as I have always done at some point). One day she took her diaper off and peed in the potty and she has never peed a daytime diaper or had an accident since. This is pretty much how it happened with my now 18,16,14,12,10,9,7,and 5-year-olds (though with the boys it was often well into their 3rd year). So much easier than trying to catch windows or follow sure-fire methods. But that is for me. I recently learned in a temperament test that I have a temperament that has no desire to control others. So I understand why for some it is easier to "make it happen". My mother was like this and she took me to the potty (and probably charted whether or not I peed) every 15 minutes on the dot and every whatever through the night. It makes me insane just thinking about it, but it was comfortable for her to have that control over the situation. My method would make her insane.

So where are you? You can be assured that you are not "giving him the idea that he won't have to". We flatter ourselves to think we control our children's thoughts this much :) He has his own ideas and he gets them from who-knows-where. So don't get too nervous about that. On the other hand, you don't have to worry about missing some window of opportunity. These windows may truly exist, and catching them may help get the job done sooner. I wouldn't know. But I can promise you that if you miss one you will always get another one sometime. So do what really works for you and makes your days happiest. Just don't let this rob the joy of having that little guy around. 2 1/2 is a blast!

Boys can be late bloomers when it comes to bladder control. 2 1/2 is pretty young. According to things I've read, I think the average for boys is around 3. Maybe it's too early. Also, you'd know better than I, but is there any possibility his kidney condition is a factor as well? Perhaps your pediatrician can help with advice. I guess I'd back off awhile and maybe in a few months try again.

Your son is not ready. Wait a couple months and try again. If he still isn't ready wait a couple more months before trying again. Relax, don't make a big deal out of it...and it will happen!

wow, I am surprised by all the same advice. I too have heard that boys are later, but do they have to be? I have also heard that if you don't potty train them by the time they are 2, you have missed a window, and will result in a harder time when you do potty train. (the window being 18-24 mos.)
My advice would be to ditch the pull-ups or diapers (use only at naptime) and put him in underwear the rest of the time. If you keep going back he's won the war. I know it is frustrating...but just stick with it.

Just an FYI, I have only 1 kidney, too. I was born with just 1, not sure if that is your son's situation or not. But I wanted you to know that it has never been a problem for me, at all.

With the potty training, he is still young, especially for a boy, so I would go back to diapers and not push him at all. Kids will potty train themselves when they are ready. We don't try to force our kids to reach other developmental milestones before they are ready, so it really bothers me how uptight people get about potty training their child. Give him a break, stop all together, unless HE suggests wanting to try.

Good luck
S.
(mom of 3 and daycare provider for 21 yrs)