M.R. asks from Detroit, MI on August 27, 2012
My Parents Are Mad at Me. Sad. :(
My husband and I were able to sneak away to the lake this weekend. My parents were kind enough to watch our 3 kids for us. My parents usually know that we wont be home early on Sunday because we like to go out on the boat Sunday for a bit, we then clean the boat and wrap it up for the 2.5 hour drive home.
The weather wasnt great all weekend, we got poured on Saturday while we were out. Sunday morning it was raining also so we got up and got some cleaning supplies for the boat, took it out for a couple hours, it started raining again, so we headed back to clean up the boat. It wasnt easy in the rain, it took forever, and we decided to take the soaking wet carpet out to take home and clean so it didnt mold in there still being wet.
Then we were starving and stopped and got something to eat. Finally, we got to my parents house at 10pm, which I know is pretty extreme, and I felt very bad about. We scooped the kids up without waking my parents up, they slept in the car and then we put them in their beds.
I called my parents this morning and apologized for being so late and thanked them for taking care of the kids for us. They were both pretty short with me, which I thought was different, but didnt think too much of it.
Then I get a text from my sister asking me if I was able to get my daughter to school this morning. Ummm, why wouldnt I get my daughter to school????
So, then I knew something was up and called my sister, she bitched me out for being so late and said my mom called her extremely mad about how late we were.
She told me to never do that again, and If I want to keep my kids somewhere until 10pm on a Sunday night, I should ask my MIL to do it, which is a pretty low blow considering she knows my MIL pretty much has nothing to do with my kids.
So, I wont be asking my parents to babysit anymore and I feel really bad, but why is my sister so upset?
So What Happened?™
We did call to let them know we were going to be late.
No, this has never happened before. I called my mom to apologize again, and she wouldnt admit to being mad. I just told her I was sorry I upset them and it wont happen again. We will not ask them to babysit for the weekend again, because we do not return home early on Sundays, never this late, but we try to be home by 7pm to have the kids in bed.
Thanks for the advice, lesson learned.
Oh, and yes, we ate McDonalds drive thru and they were aware that we would be arriving at 10pm when we called them at 6pm and said we were wrapping up the boat.
I guess could understand my sister being angry if she thought I was taking advantage of them, but they have her kids 3xs more than they do mine. So I was kinda confused.
B.R. answers from Madison on August 27, 2012
10 pm at night is more then pretty extreme...what were you thinking...you couldn't call, talk about taking advantage of family...dude three kids all weekend and you can't get home at a decent time...do you know what it is like to take care of three kids?!?! I'd be pretty mad also!
Why is your sister upset...cause you took advantage of her parents!
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M.S. answers from Washington DC on August 27, 2012
So, did you ever call your parents on Sunday and let them know that you were running late or anything? My parents would have been worried sick and probably would have had the police looking for us by 10pm. I am not sure why your sister would be mad - maybe she is not mad - probably your mom was venting to her and some of that came back to you. You should probably start with an apology call to your mother. Its real nice of them to take the kids for a weekend, and *if* you did not call to let them know you are running several hours later than normal, I think that would be pretty rude.
Was today your daughter's first day back to school? (it is the first day here) so that also seems unusual to me that you would a) be away the whole weekend before first week of school and that b) you would be OK with getting your daughter home and in bed so late the day before school. Your mother/sister may have felt concerned about that.
I also find it surprising that you picked the kids up without them even knowing you were there. My mom would be upset by that. And frankly if I could get in there house and get both my kids out without them knowing, I would be shocked (and kind of concerned!)
I am not trying to pick on you, just answering the question the best I can, and I understand I dont know the whole story.
16 moms found this helpful
S.B. answers from Houston on August 27, 2012
This is all wrong on so many levels.
1. Late to me is 7 or 8 not 10:00 pm.
2. If your daughter had school today, waking her up and then putting her back to bed and all that jazz was not very considerate of her.
3. Your sister is upset because your mother is upset. Your sister had no right to yell at your BUT your parents have every right to be royally pissed at you and your husband.
4. You snuck into their home, took the kids like you were afraid to talk with them. I would be very upset if my daughter had done this. Actually, I would have stayed up and waiting for you to arrive and had this conversation with you and hubby last night.
You need to do something extra nice for your parents. I would just blow off sister. But I would tell Mom that in the future if she is upset with me, to direct to me and not sister.
15 moms found this helpful
B.. answers from Dallas on August 27, 2012
Probably, because she had to be on the other side of your mom venting. I'm guessing your mom called HER at a not so early hour to vent her ear off. AND, she is probably upset that you used your parents in this way.
Did you not call them, and let them know? You should have not stopped the whole way home (you were not "starving, you were hungry. you could have waited, or stopped in a drive through and eaten in the car while driving.) You and your husband were very inconsiderate and childish about how you handled the situation. (Seriously, sneaking in? Did you even leave a note, that you had the children with you?) I would be irked with you, as well. If it were me (you know, being an adult) I would have made it home earlier, no matter what. In any situation, I would CALL and let my parents know. Not just say, "we will be late." But, "I'm sorry, we will be very late. It will be around so and so time." She's angry about that, and having to be put in the middle, when she wasn't even involved. You weren't late, because of unfortunate circumstances. You were late, because you were inconsiderate.
10 moms found this helpful
T.M. answers from Tampa on August 27, 2012
I think that you were majorly inconsiderate of your parents. You were not late because of unforseen circumstances (a huge accident that closed the interstate, horrible weather so that you had to pull off the side of the road, your car broke down). You were late because you were doing everything but thinking of picking up your children. You took advantage of their generosity. Nothing says that they have to take care of THREE kids all weekend.
Your sister is probably upset because your Mom called and complained to her about it and had to hear it. Nevertheless, this is none of her business and she should stay out of it.
You really owe your parents more than a apology....
10 moms found this helpful
K.L. answers from Des Moines on August 27, 2012
You took major advantage of your parents! I'd be pissed if my sister did that to my parents! Why didn't you call? Why didn't you leave earlier? You probably know how hard I is to take care of 3 kids and your parents are a bit older! You need to make this up to them!
10 moms found this helpful
T.S. answers from San Francisco on August 27, 2012
Your sister is probably upset because she felt you took advantage of your parents.
Not really her business, and your mother should be able to talk to you about it without venting to your sister, but I imagine that's where she's coming from.
I must admit that if my daughter left her kids at my house until 10 PM on a school night I would be pretty pissed too.
I think this is a good lesson going forward. You and your husband know exactly how long it takes to get home, and how to adjust/plan for traffic, so next time plan to get back at a more reasonable hour.
Staying later because you wanted to clean the boat? and stopping to eat? I hope you at least went through a drive through or got something to go. I'm all for time together as a couple and all that, but those are really not very grown up reasons for being so late to pick up your kids :(
10 moms found this helpful
K.M. answers from Kansas City on August 27, 2012
Three kids are a lot of work--you know this! You didn't say how old your parents are, but they may have just been really tired. They might have been looking forward to a quiet night. Also, they may have been telling the kids you would be home by 7pm and then they had to tell them different which could have upset them (the kids). Maybe they already stripped the beds and washed the sheets only to have to remake beds, etc.
There are a number of scenarios. Call them. Talk it out. People just want to feel heard and appreciated.
I agree it was none of your sister's business, but she was probably defending your parents.
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