My Little Girl Doesn't Talk -- Is It Really a Problem??

My Ped. had asked me if my late talker was busy walking, running, and such. I said yes.

She said that most children at that age work on one or the other, either motor skills (ie, running, climbing, etc) or they work on speech. But usually not both at the same time. this was at my daughter's 15 month appt, when the I was asked how much my daughter was speaking. I laughed and said, 'oh, is she supposed to be speaking now?'

I do believe in kids devloping at their own pace, and girl, if you aren't comfortable with this...don't do it.

My son is about 15 months now and can't say anything. NOTHING! I am taking him to a local program that evaluates growth and disability next week, but I'm certain he's fine. Some kids are just later talkers. Like you, I know he can hear because he knows words and body parts and such...he just doesn't want to talk. I would go along with what the doctor says because slow speech can make them slower in other areas, but overall it doesn't seem like a big problem!

my son doesn't talk yet he is 16 months old and the dr. doesnt seem to have a problem, just keeps telling me to interact with him which we do and so does his older brothers, I wouldn't be too worried about it and try taking him to another Pediatritans.. 2nd opions are always helpful.

Hello, we went through all of this with our son. At his 18 month check up, when we told them how few words he was saying, he was referred for a hearing test and for speech therapy. He wouldn't sit for the hearing test, but we just knew his hearing was fine (even with all the ear infection and tubes at 9 months). We just got frustrated with the speech therapy and all it did was make us feel like horrible parents. I decided to start praying, my husband got deployed, I took him out of therapy, and about 1 or 2 months later, he just started going crazy with talking. Find things she's really interested in, get with her in those moments and interact with her (on her level). Tell her exactly what's going on with what she's so focused on. She may not respond or even act like she's listening, but it will soak in. That was a big one in therapy they'd tell us. But only do it for brief spurts. For us, our son loves the letters and numbers and books. Music and reading really opened things up for him.

Bottom line, though, don't freak out. YES, they all develop at their own pace. I think doctors these days are too quick to rush to judge when WE are the ones that know our children best. It doesn't hurt, though, to get evaluations. Take their info and match it with all the intimate details you KNOW and SEE in your daughter. She may be just taking it all in and just waiting to spill it all out. Maybe she's just having a hard time with the connections. It will come. Trust what you know!

I know exactly how you feel. My youngest son will be two in Sept. On his first Birthday he would only say Mama and Dada. By 18 months he really didnt say much more. I was so worried but his Doctor wasnt really concerned because he still seemed to understand and respond to what we said. Just after 18 months he started talking up a storm the problem was that we couldnt understand a word he was saying. He's now 22 months and says many words and even has conversation with us that we still cant really understand. When we dont understand what he is saying we ask him to show us and that really seems to work. When he shows us what he wants and we finally understand he gets so excited and says it even more. I do think children progress at their own pace and my three are proof of that. If your Doctor wants to have her checked why not it's always better to be safe. Just dont let the Doctor freak you out. If you think she is fine then she probably is. No matter how old you are or how many kids you have you will always worry and question yourself...I am proof of that.

Hi A., I have just personally gone through this. I can tell you one thing "Do not panic!" If there are indicators that your child may not be speaking near the average kid, then yes, go for a hearing test, they are non invasive easy tests to rule out any possiblity of a hearing loss. I would also suggest that you and your child watch a video series called Signing Time! I know of a girl, Lucy. Her parents were told she would never speak, well after learing American Sign Language her vocabullary blossomed! You can read about Lucy at http://www.signingtime.com/article_info.php?articles_id=2

Here is a quote from that story "Shortly after the release of Signing Time! Volume One: My First Signs, Lucy decided to sign! In spite of her cerebral palsy, Lucy currently has hundreds of signs and spoken words! After two long years of showing no interest in communication, she suddenly had a language explosion! At 2 years old, Lucy could fingerspell her own name and Leah's. Lucy signs and sings her ABC's. She can say and sign every color and can count to 10 ... and her speech and sign vocabulary expands each day. Lucy became the first of many Signing Time! miracles."

You can find Signing Time on several PBS stations accross the US, your local library to get you started.

Best of luck to you!

Hi A.,
there is definitely something wrong however early intervention is the key. My son was not speaking enough when he was 3 but I didn't know anything was wrong. His preschool teacher urged us to have him tested. We found out he had a language learning disability. At the age of 3 he was speaking like a one year old and his comprehension was at a 9 month old. We had NO idea at the time. My son is now 12 and is a dyslexic learner. He is has been in speech therapy since he was 3 and it (along with many other things) have helped him a lot.

Please don't be in denial about whatever is going on. It is true that kids all develop at their own pace but it sounds like she might have a language issue of some kind as well. Just get some good assessments done...they will help you as to what to do next. I'm not sure where you live but if you are in the Northern California area I can certainly point you in the right direction of who to see.

Feel free to email me anytime ____@____.com
-C.

My son was the same way by 22 months he had already had his hearing tested twice both time it came back fine, but he was not talking he only spoke about 5 words and they told me he should speak around 50. so he was refferred to alta regional since he was just under two for their early start program. From there he was sent to jabber gym downtown for a speech evaluation sure enough he was delayed 12 months and has started therapy 3 weeks ago he just turned two the 27th I have notice such improvement in such a little time. they do alot of word games at jabber gym with him. they show him lots of pictures and make the excersize their tongues by having them repeat certain words. I didn't really mind my son starting speech therapy althought I still think he does not need it but i figured it can't hurt him. good luck with your little one.

Do you ever have her around other children? My best friend has a daughter that is 6 weeks older than my daughter who is 8 months old. We live in different counties and try to see each other as often as we can. When ever I bring my daughter home from there she starts doing all these things. Babling was on of them. I also find that when ever she goes around her cousins she comes home trying to make new sounds. Or have you taught her sign language at all? Sometimes babies who have learned sign language are not in a hurry to talk because they can communicate perfectly fine without using words. I'm sure it's your daughter just being on her own developmental schedule. Maybe if you see the therapist you will see that everything is fine.

Dear A. S,
They are checking her hearing to see if it's part of the problem. If it's not then they send them to speach therepy to prevent severe speach delays. A speach therepist takes your child in a room or sometimes they can do home therepy. But they help them get on track, mostly they play with toys such as doll and show them the word by using special techniques with their mouth to show them the word. They are specially trained for kids with severe speach delays. My son has had 1 since he got his hearing back at the age of 3 years old. He is now 5.
The peditrition is trying to prevent your daughter from going through school or pre-school with severe speach delays it sounds like. If you have anymore questions.. please conact me at ____@____.com .... M. Petersen

It's better to be safe than sorry. I am sure your dr is just taking precautions. I make a 2-3 hr trip to Oakland Children's every 3 months, we live in the Central valley. We see Danielle Knowlton, an Audiologist. We also see Molly a speech therapist. Everyone at Children's is absolutely WONDERFUL!!! I have never met a speech therapist I didn't like, I've met alot. These kind of visits are really not bad. You will be with your daughter the whole time. Sign Language really does make kids smarter. My oldest children could have instant careers because of it, when they're older. My daughter is Profoundly deaf with a Cochlear Implant. My middle child is Autistic. I wished our Dr. would've been like your childs' Dr. We would've got help a lot earlier. I would go to the appointment. My two youngest kids love speech therapy, it's like playing.
K.

DONT"T WORRY!!!!!!!
You've had a lot of responses but I had to put that in. My son was 2 1/2 years old with a six word vocabulary and I had to fight with my doctor and the eventually the school district to get any help. When he was 8 years old I finally got him diagnosed with Aspergers, which is best explained as high functioning autisum. At 2 1/2 years we were sent to Scottish Rite which did a great job and started him on Speech Therapy by the time he was 3 and I was still fighting with the school district to provide any help.
So don't worry yet, it could be there's nothing important enough to say (my 13 year old son won't shut up now!!!), or it could be a minor speech impediment. Don't stress yet. Just get it checked out. When my son was diagnosed with Aspergers I compared recieving the news to dancing. Before I found out why my son was different it felt like I was fighting a monster in the dark, and after the diagnosis it was like someone turned on the lights and music and I found out I was supposed to be dancing. :)

Hi, my son also didn't talk much until very recently, he is two now (in May). We started teaching him sign language so he could communicate, as it was clear he was understanding us, but not able to communicate at the level which he understood. It really helped a lot, & there are classes & a great book developed just for babies & kids & the common signs you can teach them. We also learned that our son made up his own signs; so watch for that as well.
It turns out that when you teach kids sign language, their frustration level goes WAY down, and it actually improves their ability to learn verbal/spoken language more quickly once they are ready for that (research in the book, "Baby Signs")...we have seen this as our son's language development has really taken off. It took him until he was about two to really pick up speed, & since he is shy, he only really talks much around our immediate family.
Good to get things checked out, as far as your dr. says, just to be sure, tho. But don't worry yet, get the baby signs book & copy off the pages with the most common signs & put it on the fridge or somewhere you'll see it, and teach your baby's other caretakers how to do it. It's fun & easy, & your baby will appreciate being able to communicate!

Hope this helps.

Hi..
I don't want to panic you, but have you researched autism? That is one of the red flags of an autistic child is no language. My daughter is autistic and maybe you should look into it. There are different degrees of autism and just because she may seem "normal" we didn't figure it out in our daughter until she was 3 1/2 because she seemed to be pretty normal also. Its just a suggestion to look into. Here is something I found online for you....

Watch for the Red Flags of Autism

(The following red flags may indicate a child is at risk for atypical development, and is in need of an immediate evaluation.)

In clinical terms, there are a few “absolute indicators,” often referred to as “red flags,” that indicate that a child should be evaluated. For a parent, these are the “red flags” that your child should be screened to ensure that he/she is on the right developmental path. If your baby shows any of these signs, please ask your pediatrician or family practitioner for an immediate evaluation:

No big smiles or other warm, joyful expressions by six months or thereafter
No back-and-forth sharing of sounds, smiles, or other facial expressions by nine months or thereafter
No babbling by 12 months
No back-and-forth gestures, such as pointing, showing, reaching, or waving by 12 months
No words by 16 months
No two-word meaningful phrases (without imitating or repeating) by 24 months
Any loss of speech or babbling or social skills at any age
*This information has been provided by First Signs, Inc. ©2001-2005. Reprinted with permission. For more information about recognizing the early signs of developmental and behavioral disorders, please visit http://www.firstsigns.org or the Centers for Disease Control at www.cdc.gov/actearly.

Hi A.. Yes, children do develope at their own pace. However, your little girl should have more language than just the 3 words. Ask your Pediatrician for a referral to a Pediatric Neurologist for an evaluation. My son was the same way. Our Pediatrician kept saying it wasn't anything to worry about. We kept waiting....at age 3, he still had very little language. I asked for a referral and my son was Dx'd w/Autism. Being over the age of 3, we missed the opprotunity for Early Intervention. If they are recommending Speech Therapy....do it. Even if it is one or two days a week. The Speech Therapist will also teach you how to work w/your daughter at home. It is more than just sounding out words. Yes, Autism is more prevelant in boys. However there are more and more cases of girls being dx'd. Better to have it ruled out sooner rather than later. What city do you live in? I can provide you with some additional information if you would like.

S.
____@____.com

It can become a problem very quickly... At this age it's not a problem, but as people try to talk to her more and more - family, friends and strangers in the store - she will start to get frustrated that she cannot communicate! It will destroy her self-esteem in a very short period of time.

My 3rd daughter went through this - the process of getting them tested for the hearing and speech is a lengthy one and takes time. My daughter was started in the process at 18 months and was not able to start speech therapy until just weeks before her 3rd B-day - by then it really was a problem. Once she started school the insurance wouldn't cover the therapy anymore and it took me all of kindergarten and 1st grade to get her approved for continued therapy at school.

Follow your doctors recommendations because it is a slow process.

The speach therapists have exercises they do to strenghthen the tongue - they give you and your daughter homework so you can work on them at home... My daughter did not have any hearing losses and no medical conditions that effected her speech - just needed therapy to teach her how to use her tongue... She is 7 now - the self-esteem is still an issue as the general public still has trouble understanding her when she says her name...

Good luck - take advantage of the services - it will help your daughter in the long run....

I don't know why it's so expensive - I have 4 children - my husband left - couldn't handle the responsibility - go at your hubby's pace you are still young...

Hi A.,
All kids develop differently. I work with a girl whose daughter did not speak until she was nearly 4 and now she jabbers all the time. As well, my cousin's foster child had some speach delays and struggles and the courts provided a therapist. The therapist shows them flash cards and works on proper pronounciation (sp) with him. It did take long before he was back on tract.

Dear A.,

Good Grief !! My children didn't talk until they were about 3 - and I wasn't counting the words.

That is too much pressure to put on you and on the baby. Let her be. The mother is the most important evaluator of the child, well, except for professionals of course, but we are with them 24/7.

My grgrandson is going to be 3 in October and he just now is talking, he was doing a lot of thinking before, we could tell, but not really talking.

When he was very young he said Mom and go and tanto for thank you, and that was all for a loooong time. Then he dropped all of that and suddenly a few months later he sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - all the way through. All the verses. I don't know, why all this fuss about not talking. I think that you have the right idea - kids do develop at their own pace - and we just have to wait and nurture. It is so great to hear that little voice after waiting and waiting and waiting.

Sincerely, C. N.

Hi A., how much do you interact with your daughter and play with her? My sister and mother do daycare for me so they are constantly playing with him and playing word games with him and I keep it going once I pick him up after I get off work. Also have you tried those baby and little einstein shows with your daughter? Those worked wonders for my son. He started having the baby einstein on as soon as he was swinging in his swing and copying the words and actions pretty quickly after he started walking on his own. With these shows on for my little one along with most of the Nick Jr or Playhouse Disney shows I have never believed that he watched too much TV, especially when I have to do my housework and have to find something to keep him occupied. Pretty much all of them encourage learning...perhaps you could try these. Just a suggestion. Good luck.

Yes, kids do develop at their own rate pace but clearly your daughter's speech isn't at the right 'pace.' Our son is now 2 years old & we've started the process for speech therapy. His hearing was tested (protocol for the beginning of getting services)& was fine. He was evaluated by our local regional center by a nurse & speech therapist. Nurse gave him a clean bill but the speech therapist said there's a clear delay, mostly evident in the fact that he doesn't repeat anything. That should be a clear sign for yor daughter, too. At this age, they repeat or attmept to repeat, EVERYTHING. Our son has his own approximations for words but he should be saying the real words. Our case manager observed him & put him at 28+ months on all developmental levels except for speech....put him at 16 months. Sure, he gets his wants & needs known by pointing or using the few words he knows but he should be asking for them w/the corect words. So, please, if your doctor is seeing a need for services, then get them for her. Yeah, you know her hearing is fine, but, like I said, that's the first step needed for assessment. I know my son gets frustrated at times that I don't understand him & I bet your daughter either already does or will soon be getting frustrated. It will help her develop & grow & will be good for her. Your doctor will probably put you in touch w/your local regional center & services will be free & will continue to be free for her as long as she's in the public school system. Good luck!

This same thing happened to me, my daughter (now 5 and talking constantly, with perfect diction) was a "slow talker" and we did the hearing test, etc. The hearing test was no big deal - you and she will go into a booth and they will pipe in sounds from different speakers and watch her to see if she looks that direction. The speech therapy was very interesting. They basically play with her and speak to her in very small sentences "bird flies" "dog runs" etc. they will let her set the pace of play and talk about the things in which she shows interest. They taught us some sign language (EXTREMELY BENEFICIAL). They give you pointers on how to talk very concisely. It was all free for me - make sure that you don't have to pay for any of this. And they came to my home for the therapy. Don't be afraid of speech therapy, I found it interesting to learn about child development from the therapist. Your daughter is probably fine. My daughter does not do anything until she decides to do it, and talking was my first indication of that.

You can look into sign language yourself, too www.babysigns.com

Personally, I think the dr is jumping the gun a bit. My husband was 3 yrs old before he said anything! Now, I realize that is unusual, but my point is that not speaking at 18 mo. old isn't always a bad sign. There was nothing wrong with his hearing or anything. He just had listened to others and absorbed the language and spoke when he was good and ready, lol! That time came when someone came to the door and he out of the blue said "I'll get it!" and they were stunned! He's a smart man, nothing was wrong.

Does your daughter seem normal in every other way? Does she communicate with you in other ways?

I have a friend whose daughter didn't say a whole lot until later either, and at 4 yrs old she talks a lot now, she just had her own pace, but was totally fine.

My second daughter was a late talker. I remember being in a playgroup and the kids were turning one and the mom's were cooing over the words the kids were saying and I thought - she should be speaking already? (you can forget a lot between child 1 and 2) At this point I don't think my daughter said anything. So I started getting very worried but then I reminded myself that kids develop differently, etc. She spoke a couple of words by 18 months. I don't recall the doc ever being worried. I did notice that my second daughter was physically more advanced than my first daughter. So I thought that instead of speaking she was working on her motor skills. I'm surprised that your doctor is rushing to do tests. But I guess it wouldn't hurt. Good luck!

Don't get freaked out by what the pediatrician is saying...I'm sure that he/she is just looking out for the well-being of your little girl. It's not that strange that your daughter isn't talking...I know people whose kids didn't talk AT ALL until they were much older, but girls do tend to talk a lot faster thatn little boys. I would definitely get her ears checked, just in case. Better safe than sorry, but I wouldn't worry unless she isn't talking by the time she is two years old. My daughter is 16 months old and has conversations with us, but my friends kids are on a completely different step. Children develop differently, and I wouldn't worry unless you see something that gives you the signal that something is wrong. (mother's instinct). My niece is 3 years old and her speaking skills are very slow, and they just found out that she needs tubes in her ears. She is extremely intelligent, but she was never tested for her hearing, so just check it out. Good luck!

hi there !!!
hey i wouldent worry if i were you well i am no doctor and i am no therapist but i am a mother and a sister with like 6 brothers and 3 sister so yeah i am the oldest and TRUST ME i watched all of them from before they were born well my point here is that i have watch them grow and some of them talked as early as 8 months no JOKE!! and i was always like wow these kids are crazy all they did was YAP YAP YAP well when the last 2 were born twins! one started to talk when he was 1 1/2 and the other untill he was 4 all we could get out of him was gibberish the doctors would say there is something wrong with him they reffered him to a speech therapist and the whole deal well as soon as he went into kindergarden in the first week he was the reporter of his class i was amazed how fast he started talking and wow!! i dont know but if you give it some time you littl one will come around and like you said WHATEVER HAPPEND TO KIDS DEVELOPE AT THEIR OWN PACE well they do and i think since you doc isent there for you daughter like you are then OF COARSE she would say get a therpapist. dont worry she will come around!!!

I have had children in my care from 18 to 20 months that are just starting to talk. All children are so different, but once they start to talk they really start to bloom. I use simple sign Language and have taught myself so I can communicate and they can too. good luck and I would wait until your little one is a couple months older before I would worry.