Hi Everyone! I got remarried in September after being divorced for 9 years. About four months prior to getting married we bought a brand new home. My husband has two black labs, one 16 yrs old and one 2 1/2 yrs old and I have a Miniture "Weiner", 1 1/2 years old. We have been living in our new home for a year next month and it looks like we've been living here for five years. Our new carpet is ruined. We bought a Kirby vaccum/shampooer and on a monthly, sometimes bi-weekly basis clean our carpet. Before we moved in, the understanding was that the dogs were going to spend alot more time outside since they were going to have a backyard to run and play in. Well, that hasn't been the case. I have tried talking to my husband about this, but it turns into an arguement everytime because he wants the dogs in the house. I don't. I am allergic to the dog hair and dander, so I am constantly cleaning and have started taking allergy meds everyday. He helps with all of the house work, but it seems like we can't keep up with the dog hair! It doesn't bother him, but I can't stand it! What's really ironic is that he complains about how dirty the carpet is! My answer to that is well, if the dogs were outside more, and we bathed them more often, our carpet wouldn't look like this. It's like he complains about it, but doesn't do anything about it. I am not used to having big dogs in the house. I have always had small dogs. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. Please help!
Ladies, thank you all so much for your advise and responses! Wow! For those of you in the same boat as me, tears came to my eyes when reading your response. Someone out there understands! I am not alone. For those of you who asked about my "weiner", he is only one dog, not the clean up and hair of three. My allergies never bothered me as bad with just one as with three. I take Claritin everyday, so I'm okay. We are planning to use our tax rebate to replace the carpet with laminate floors in our living and dining rooms, so hopefully that will help. I just need help from my husband to keep them out of certain rooms to cut down on the hair. He is no "dog whisper", but he is a awesome husband and partner. I was alone for a long time and am thankful that I have him. We just need to work together and we'll be fine. Again, thank you and God Bless!
T.
Ever thought about having the dogs adopted out? Save you time/money/heated arguments...no allergies.
Should have thought of this prior to marrying the guy.
I received some great advice when my husband and I could not see eye to eye on several subjects and because of all the arguments were on the edge of separating. I was told to ask myself if I could live with him the way he was with his faults and just love him or be without him. I would rather be with him than without him. My advice is that if you really love him realize that it probably isn't going to change so if you want to stay together consider pulling out the carpet.
T.,
I agree with everyone about the pergo floors; they are great for high traffic areas but I also recommend the IRobot vacuum cleaners. We have 2 labs and 4 kids and I can't tell you the difference the IRobot makes with the dirty floors. You can go to irobot.com and look at the different models available. I bought a model specific for pet hair pick-up and it works great. The only thing I wish I had was the model that has automatic settings; mine does not. Good luck with the pets!
My question to you is in regard to your cleaning of the carpet. Are you using a cleaning solution, and if so what kind? I used to work in a flooring store and learned some very interesting facts.
First, typical cleaning solutions, whether sprayed directly on the carpet or put through a cleaning machine, leave residue behind. This residue acts as an attractant for new soil. In other words, if you clean a spot, it's gone, then "returns", it does not actually "return" the dirt that you track in on your shoes or the dogs track in, attaches itself to the residue left behind making it seem like the spot returned. To prevent this, use a "dry cleaning" solution, they do not leave a residue. Or have a professional dry cleaning company, such as Chem-Dry, clean your carpets.
Second, what type of carpet do you have? If you have Berber (looped carpet, as opposed to cut-pile), you can clean the carpet with water and a bit of bleach, no other "soap" is needed. Berber fibers are natural, no dyes, so the bleach won't bleach the coloring out. If you do have berber and want to test it, try a small spot out-of-sight, such as a closet to test first. If you have spots you want to remove, I use a scrub brush with a bowl of water with a small amount of bleach.
Third, another option to using cleaning solution on any type of carpet is to use white vinegar mixed in water instead. Vinegar is a great disinfectant and works wonders removing pet smells from the carpet.
I too have a Lab that has been in the house at various times of her life (she's nearly 15). I know this may sound totally crazy, but the total solution is to take the labs to the groomer and have them completely clipped!! For the times that my dog has been in the house, clipping her was Godsend. Think of it as a summer buzz cut for a little boy. She felt better, any odor was gone, it allowed us to actually penetrate her hair when we bathed her, and it cut down on the longer shedded hair. The last time I took my dog, it cost about $40 ... you might find a groomer that will give you a discount for two dogs. Hope you'll try it -- I promise you it will make a complete difference!! Good luck.
How long did you date this man before you married him? I think you have a bigger problem here than dirty carpet. You knew he had big house dogs before you married him. How is it that you are allergic to his dogs but not yours? You two need to see a marriage counselor to learn why he is not sensative to your allergies. The dirty carpet and the dogs may be the war zone, but they are not the underlying cause of the war.
Forget the carpet and get floors that will hold up to dogs. Do lots of research on flooring. Perhaps there could be one room where the dogs are off limits, such as a bedroom or a study. Take your dogs to get groomed often and keep their hair short. Hope this helps!
Oh Girl, I can totally relate! I too had been divorced for 9 years when I remarried. He has a yellow lab that sheds tremendously. We recently bought a house and remodeled it. It has been a major fight over the dog hair. It is all over the place. It is even in the bed because it gets everywhere. Many of my friends have told me to buy a Dyson Animal Vacuum Cleaner. It supposedly sucks up everything that is embedded in the carpet. The only thing is this vac costs about $500!! I haven't bought it yet but am close to biting the bullet.
I don't have any good advise because I too am struggling with this same issue. Just know that you are not alone and have my sympathy. If you ever need to vent, feel free to email me.
Hang in there!!!!
T., Labs shed so much, and they were breed for and are most comfortable outside. We are dog lovers too and understand his wanting them close and inside but let me tell you a Realtors experience. Your house value will decrease by several thousand. Whether you all smell it, a newcomer to your house will Know dogs live there. The hair is a real turn off, and no matter how often you vacuum some will still be there. Removing all carpet and putting in wood or tile floors would be healthier too. I've had beautiful listings with wonderful assets and enhancements that specifically were turned down because of the pets. I know you aren't thinking of selling now, but one way or another, be it cost to redo the inside or the drop in value, the dogs being inside have and will hurt the appreciation of your home.
Secondly, you having to be medicated because of keeping that kind of dog in the house is unfair and unhealthy. There are dogs that do not shed like a Lab. If not now then perhaps when the oldest of the dogs dies, Rocco can be made a comfortable home outside. Some people bond to their dogs as if they were children, that makes it a tough issue. Good luck.
T.,
Sorry that your new husbands'dogs are driving you crazy. Unfortunately, since you had a dog living inside with you prior to the marriage (and you were allergic) you can't really pull the "allergic card" on him now. I have an 11 year old lab myself ... and he spends most of his time inside the house. Actually, he only goes outside when we are out or if he has to go to the bathroom. We have a 2 1/2 acre yard, so he does have room to run, but my dog likes to be "with people". So I have the hair problem too. I also have two indoor cats.
On the advice from my vets office, I bought at FURminator at Pets Mart. It is the best comb/brush I have ever had for my pets. It truly gets the dead underfur off of the dog or cat! I use it every 2 to 3 days. Also, since you have a 10 and 17 year old still at home, have them brush the dogs on alternating days! I do it while watching the news or survivor! It really does cut down on the amount of fur flying around the house. I also have the Dyson Animal Control Vacuum and it's totally wonderful! Expensive, but you won't believe what it gets out of the carpet!
Having a husband that helps with everything around the house is a plus! Just get him more involved with bathing the dogs. I know from experience that it's time consuming. But since he's had one of his dogs for 16 years, I don't think you are going to teach him any new tricks ... like keeping the dogs outside. So try getting him more involved with the cleaning.
Marriage is about compromise, even when it involves dirty carpet and pet hair. Though I think you nailed it when you said you have always had small dogs. They are definitely a different "type of breed". So you might be more upset that your tiny one doesn't make as big a mess as the larger two -- and you are just tired of picking up after the bigger dogs.
Give them a chance, all that they want is your love and they will give it back to you by at least 100 percent!
Good luck,
L.
Well I feel your PAIN WITH THE DIRTY CARPET!! We have had carpet in our house since we moved in, it is a used house and with new carpet when we bought it. 14 yrs later, 3 kids, 2 big dogs, 3 cats and new carpet in bedrooms and ceramic in dining and kitchen, we are getting wood laminate next week in the living room where the animals are most of the time. Yes you can see the hair and dust if you don't clean regularly but just think about it, no more dirt, hair and dander trapped in. We might even do the bedrooms later. Even though we vacuum frequently, all dirt and hair is not removed. Good luck and hope this suggestion helps!
lol....my sister had the same problem....she ended up finding a family far away that had been looking for a dog and gave the dog to them....She did it one dog at a time. Her husband thought the dog ran away when one of them got out of the house each time....and he never found out about it.
My suggestion is to tell your husband how you feel and to show him that you now have to take allergy meds everyday because of the dogs being inside all the time. Also you might invest in a big enough doggy door so the dogs can go outside and in by themselves. It may make you carpet a little dirtier but it also allows the dogs to be outside more.
good luck
I am a dog lover, who recently built a new house with 3 small weiner dogs. I installed ceramic tile and wood floors throughout the house, knowing what animals do! We also have a special filter on our a/c that takes out 99.9% of allergens. I am also an allergy sufferer. For Christmas, I got an IRobot that cleans all by itself. I also have a steam mop that cleans floors with no chemicals. Sure, it is difficult re-marrying after 9 years, but I re-married my ex-husband after 5 years. He is an alcoholic, but a recovering one. I attend a support group, myself, for family and friends of alcoholics. I don't know if any of this helps you, but God knows it has helped my situation. God Bless and good luck!
Budget allowing, it might solve the issue to have hard floors such as tile, wood or laminate. Those are better for your allergies as well. Then you could have a few area rugs for comfort. Hope that helps.
My husband and I have three dogs too so I can relate. We're getting ready to get rid of all the carpet in our house and put down wood floors to alleviate the mess problem the dogs cause as well as help with my husbands allergies. We also bought a couple of high dollar air cleaners that seem to be helping. We also have 3 cats (yes we have a zoo) and my husband is allergic to cat dander so the air cleaners help and getting the carpet out will really help. I've offerred for the animals to all be outside but my husband is the one who says they get their feelings hurt if they can't come inside :) he's a softy!
As for your allergies, if they are bad and you want to keep your carpet, then none of the dogs, including your dog should be house dogs (Weiner dogs shed too, I know.. we have one!). You can't tell your husband that the little dog can be inside but his can't... that isn't fair. They should either all be outside or all be inside. Since it is a health matter and not just a house cleaning matter , I would hope that your husband would be more understanding. Was this an issue before you got married? If so and you still married him, you may just have to live with it and find ways like we are to minimize the allergic affects and mess.
On a side note, is your dachsund a male or female? Ours is a male and he is completely untrainable.. I am at my wits end with him. He is such a lover, though, that its hard to stay mad at him every time he makes a mess... Have you been able to totally house train yours? If so... any help you could offer would be awesome.
i can totally understand your feelings. first of all - go price new flooring. Although laminate or wood flooring does not stop the dog hair - at least it is not a filthy carpet. Perhaps the cost to install a new floor may bring him a little more to your side.
Second of all - is there a way to install a doggie door? sometimes if the animals can get outside more often - it may reduce the amount of dirt.
then - get cost estimate to take the dogs for baths and grooming EVERY week! then start doing it! im sure this is a cost that he will not want to spend on a consistent basis - so hopefully again - he will at least compromise with you a little more.
Of course - you could opt for a weekly house cleaner. Again - once the man sees the cost of this - perhaps he will be willing to compromise some...
good luck!
Small dogs, big dogs... no matter the size, having them in the house always results in stained carpet! We have 3 dogs, all 20 lbs or less, and we quickly gave up on having carpet in our house. We replaced most of it w/ laminate flooring and the kitchen, entries and bathrooms were already tile. It has made a huge difference! You would be AMAZED at the amount of dirt and dust I sweep up twice a week. To think that before, that stuff settled into the carpet??? YUCK!! I feel much cleaner and my allergies have been better since switching to hard flooring. If I were you, I'd attempt a compromise w/ your husband... if the dogs are going to be spending so much time indoors, then the carpet has to go! It's not cheap but we managed/cut expenses by shopping at a flooring outlet/warehouse and laying the laminate ourselves - easy once you get going and a great team-building experience for us. Tile is a little more difficult to do yourself unless you've got experience, but either way, trust me, you'll never go back to carpet!! On a side note, also invest in a good electric hard surface vacuum. You mentioned having a Kirby and I think they have a setting for that, right? Otherwise, we bought a "Shark" at Lowe's and it's lightweight and works great. Good luck! :)
Rip out all that carpet and replace it with tile or wood floors. Allergies and dogs and dirty feet do not mix with carpet which cannot ever be fully cleaned. If the investment in new floors is an issue, look into having the concrete slab stained and sealed. There are contractors that can even score it to look like tile. If your hubby argues that he needs soft carpet for his sensitive feet, buy some fully machine washable throw rugs, and some fuzzy slippers or padded socks.
Pull out the carpet and install laminate (Pergo, etc)! It looks every bit as nice as a wood floor and will add value to your home! It is not worth fighting with your spouse. It will still have to be cleaned often (I recommend the Bissel Flip It. it dry vacuums then mops and squeeges dry the floor), But you can get it beautifully clean. It also won't hold allergens like carpet does. I have 2 dogs and 7 cats and hated having carpet. My other suggestion is that once you put in hard flooring, change your AC air filter every two weeks instead of once a month, since it now picks up all the stuff the carpet used to hold. I got mine through Carpet Giant, speak with John. Good luck! D.
A little about me: I am a 37 year old stay at home mom with 1 18 year old daughter and a 5 month old son. My husband works offshore.
T.,
If you guys can afford to, replacing the carpet with tile would be a good option and would help tremendously with the allergy problems and easier to clean too. If that's not an option due to finances, you might consider having your carpet dyed a darker color so the dirt is less noticeable, still costs money but not as much as installing tile.
I used to have big dogs (lab mix) and they were very well behaved and I loved them like they were my children which is probably how your husband feels about his. Mine weren't very dirty but the places they slept a lot tended to get dirty from the oil of their coats until I bought them some big beds. Also, since one of them is 16, there is probably an underlying health issue that is causing excessive shedding. Both of my dogs had cancer late in life and just shed like crazy! It is hard to keep up with but consider that at 16 the dog won't be around much longer. There is an vitamin oil that you can put on their food that reduces shedding, check with PetSmart or Petco.
Also, what was your husband place like before you guys got married...you can't really expect that his doggy ways would change even if he said they would spend more time outside...it's just not very realistic. I find it interesting that you have developed an allergy to dogs when you have one of your own. Are the dogs the only problem you are having with your husband? I'm just saying. If everything else is truly ok, just hang in there and the old dog will pass on soon enough and there won't be as much to keep up with.....also when that happens you don't want your husband feeling that you are happy the old dog is gone.
Take care and God bless!
C.
Have you thought about teaching the dogs to stay in tiled/hard floor areas of your home? I have two large dogs (one who sheds a tremendous amount). They both stay in the house a lot, and I won't say that their hair doesn't get in the carpeted rooms, but training them to stay in my tiled kitchen, eating area helped a bunch. It's pretty easy to sweep a few times a day if necessary.
We have four dogs, one very large [Saint Bernard] all in the house. I recommend if you can swing it going hard surface. Easier to care for and better for your allergies too, dog and other types. We are in the process of doing this room by room.
If with the size and complexity of the households you combined this is the biggest problem, you're doing great (we're a blended family too). Your husband is likely not trying to aggravate you, the dogs are just his comfort zone during all the changes.
T., Till death do us part is sometimes hard work. Just me thankful that you have him and enjoy your time together. Don't fret about the little things because you never know when your time will end with him. Argueing is a waste of time, precious time that you can't get back. I know you may get frustrated because the cleaning seems to never end, but it makes him happy to have the dogs in the house and as long as he is helping with the clean up, then that is a great thing. I am a clean freak, I don't even wear shoes in my house but I think I could handle a bit of dirt to have a husband that loves me and a companion to grow old and enjoy what time we have left on this earth. May God bless you and your home, take away the anger and discord and make a happy and joyful home for your family.
Hi, I have large dogs, too. They have been trained to stay off the carpet. They come in from the back onto the tiled mud room and then go to the tiled kitchen and that is as far as they can go without stepping on carpet. Yes, my German Shepherd sheds alot so I have to clean under the appliances (dryer, fridge). The labs maybe even more than other dogs are very social, so they just want to be around you guys more.
Linda C.
Yes, I'll have to agree with some of the others- the dogs came before you- and I'm not sure how you feel about your weiner dog but to a lot of people dogs are like family. We have 2 big dogs in the house and my husband also has allergies but we wouldn't have it any other way. That being said- we do have tile in all of the house except the bedrooms and we keep the doors shut except at night they sleep in our room on their beds on the floor. We have also trained our dogs that they may not come in until they've had their feet wiped of- we keep an old towel by the back door. Also, you may want to try to tell your husband that you can understand that he doesn't want the dogs outside so much but you really need his help in keeping them bathed more often. We bathe ours with the water hose in the driveway and it works out quite well but can be a two person job. As will all things in marriage- it's a compromise. You can't expect him to banish his friends to the outdoors if they were used to being inside and he should be sensative to your allergies and need for a clean house and help you bath them and talk about getting hard surface floors.
Good luck- try to love his dogs like he does because you love him. If you love them- it won't be so hard to deal with them.
when reading your story, I thought you were peeking in my windows! I was married in sept. 1 1/2 years ago and moved into a brand new house in oct a year and a half ago. I had two dogs a lhasa apso and a yorkie , both old! and indoor dogs. he had a wiener and she was a ranch dog, not even potty trained and 5 yrs old! He also had a cat and another dog (he gave away the dog and kept the cat out at the ranch, I am very allergic to cats!) Anyway I turned the wiener into an indoor, potty trained her in a couple of weeks. still the carpets are soiled and I have cleaned them! We also will install laminate when we can afford it, the good news is that like my two older dogs (15 and 12) your 16 yr old lab will not be around that much longer, sad I know but it is reality and will be quite a break, down to two dogs instead of three. I love my 12 year old so much but 3 dogs is a lot of work when you consider bathing, brushing and even just letting them out and in and out and in! Even filling the water and food bowls is more work with three! anyway, I will be relieved when the load gets cut down a little, and you will too! maybe at that point you can say "you bathe your dog and I'll bathe mine and let's see who is relaxing in front of the Tv first!" I feel your pain but I have no cure for it, no cure that is but time! best of luck!
Opps forgot to mention, your 42 I'm 48, I too was single for 10 yrs. We each have one grown son. And my husband also helps out alot around the house and is a great husband. Too many similaritys huh?
Maybe consider pulling the carpet up and putting in tile or wood floors, this would make it easy to clean and help with you allergies as the carpet could be holding alot of the dander your cann't stand. Sometimes you need that deep down clean that only a change can give. I hope you get this worked out.
I might try confining the dogs to certain areas, using a crate, etc. Only allow the dogs free roam when they will be participating directly with the family. I would also consult a dog trainer. The Pet Tutor (Kim) is a great resource. Another way to maintain sanity is to replace the carpet with tile, or laminate. I would also consider some counseling for you and your husband to come to some sort of agreement about this before it destroys your marriage. It would be a shame to allow something like this to come between you. Having pets can be an awesome way to live, but when they cause more grief than they bring joy, it's time rethink. We need to keep people first place and remember that pets are pets. Hope this helps. I am a dog lover who is married to a dog tolerator. He very graciously is allowing me to keep 2 dogs right now. One actually has a "submissive urination" problem and wets on everything. Because he loves me, he is giving me to opportunity to work with the dog with the help of a trainer/research. Because I love him, I am doing all I can to deal with it and not allow it to be a nuisance to him. I will pray for you!!!!
KC
I feel your pain except that I willed my two dogs on myself. What I do before I let the dogs enter the home is wash their paws. It's painstaking but I do it to minimize the dirt coming in. There are also allergy wipes to wipe on the dogs fur when they come in if that would help. I also am allergic to my dogs fur(love them to much to care) and so I had heard about this food that great for the dogs and have been great for my allergies. The food is called Canidae. Also your husband can brush the dogs and wipe them with the allergy wpies after to help you out. that will minimize the undercoat. The food help with their coat as well. I'm a certified vettech just to let you know where this advice is coming from. Congrats on the recent nuptuals and good luck.
