22 answers

My Husband Wants to Become a Firefighter........

We had our first son almost 4 years ago and my husband not only fell in love with our son but also a dream to become a firefighter. He says that our son just inspires him more and more everyday and he's ready to make a career change in his life. We are both 30 and have been married going on 6 years and have since had a daughter (18 mos) and I have a daughter previous to my marriage. I have never spent a night without my husband and love that he is home with us everynight. I have heard all the crazy shifts, hours, and the duties of a firefighter and I just cant bear the thought of him being gone days at a time. I am a grown woman and I will eventually have to adapt if he persues this. I have not looked into the pay of firefighters but my husband says it doesnt matter. He is physically fit and this is what he wants to do. Are there any firefighter wives out there or anyone that knows of someone that can relate or give me some advice?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

My hubby made a major career change at 36. He is not a firefighter, but he does have similar shift issues, job danger, etc. He works for the County Sheriff's Dept.
I will not lie ~ it's not easy. BUT it is worth it!! My hubby now loves his job and is therefore an all around happier person. If its something he really wants to do, support him.

2 moms found this helpful

All I know is that I have two male friends who have made total career changes in their adult lives: One from pastor to policeman, and one from salesman to financial planner. They are the two of the happiest people I know!

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

You'll adjust. Let him follow his dream. Get with the other firefighter wives and become their friend.
He will be your children's hero.
I am a military wife. We do what we have to do. At least he will be in your city, not in some he%$ hole in a foreign country.
And he'll be happy.

4 moms found this helpful

I definitely think it's a calling...as is police work, military, nursing, etc. I think he should go for it. Yes, the hours/schedule may be crazy, but you'll adjust. My husband is active duty Army and deployed (again). I know about the nights alone, but I couldn't imagine him doing anything else. It takes a very special person to go into a career like firefighting...sounds like your DH is just the guy!

4 moms found this helpful

My DH is a Firefighter/Paramedic: I call him a Hero. He doesn't believe he is! That's what he's been since I've known him. In my phone to this day (almost 6 years later) he's still labeled "fireman" LOL he jokes I only started dating him because he was a FF :-) Not True!
It will be hard for you at first, because your used to having him home at night and "normal" hours with You and the family. BUT just think about how HAPPY he will be - doing something he feels very passionate about! Also, he's gotta make it through the academy first (A lot of guys cant handle it) then he's gotta apply and be hired on a dept ( could take a Long time) SO dont freak out just yet, I know you have concerns..... Please send me a PM and I'll answer any questions the best I can :-)

4 moms found this helpful

Happy parents make a happy family! Support him, it's a very honorable career! My husband is in the military and he's spent MANY nights and days away from us. It makes me feel like a stronger woman, and I'm proud to support my husband. I've learned that our time together is about quality, not quantity. Congratulations on having a husband that will pursue his dream, what a great example for your kids!

**One more thing... My dad wanted to join the Marines right after my parents got married and my mom said no way. He still talks about how he regrets not doing it, and it's 33 years later. My mom regrets not backing him. Would you want to have that thought for 30+ years? OUCH!

2 moms found this helpful

I have several friends who are firefighters. In most areas they work 1 or 2 24 hour shifts and then are HOME 5 or 6 days a week. (Smoke Jumpers excluded)

For my girlfriends who are married to firefighters ONE of those nights is usually a "girls night in". Chick flicks, margaritas, dish sessions, spa-at-home nights, cards, etc. The other one tends to me "mommy nights" where they and their kids have a special routine. (2 of my friends are men married to firefighters. They tend to make less of a regular 'occasion' about their spouse being gone, but we'll still get together some nights their wives are at work to play pool, or bbq, or whatever.) It's funny, though. The women tend to revel in their alone time, and the men sort of mope.

Now... of course there are many 'worse' jobs out there; military, long haul truckers, musicians, doctors, lawyers, restaurant workers, pilots, flight attendants, cops, sales reps... people who work 80-100+ hour work weeks (only home to sleep for 5 or 6 hours and then are back at work), people who are "on call" 24/6, people whose jobs keep them working from the time school lets out until 3am/4am, people who are only home 3 days a month, people who are only home 1 week a month, people who have to travel for work, people who are at the govts beck and call and after 1 years worth of schooling you're lucky to see 3 months a year, etc., so forth, and so on... to MY mind, thank your lucky stars your beloved's dream is one that gives you a girl's night in and a mommy night. But I'm biased. My point REALLY is to look at the upsides for your husband's passion, not to say "it could be worse". Because even all those other jobs have upsides. To my own mind, it's really just figuring out what those upsides ARE. :) When you can figure out the upsides, it's a lot easier to accentuate them / find joy in the "different" from the 8-7 M-F slog.

2 moms found this helpful

My friend's husband is a firefighter. His shift is like, 3 days on, 3 days off or something along those lines. Sure, he's gone 3 nights a week, but then he's home 3 days straight. They have a great family life, and lots of downtime during the day when he is working so the family sometimes goes up to visit the firehouse, bring them dinner...

Also, look into where you live. Most cities now are requiring firefighters to also be paramedics, if it isn't required, their pay will increase and their chance of getting hired will be better with this qualification.

2 moms found this helpful

That kind of thing gets in your blood and won't let go. I understand the feeling of having him home every night, but if you tell him he can't pursue this just so that you can have him home, isn't that going to bruise his manhood? If you tell him he can't pursue this, every time he hears a siren call he'll be thinking that could be him responding.

While having him gone will be stressful, keeping him home could be more so.

My vote is to let him try it. It could be that the grandness of it won't match the reality.


2 moms found this helpful

All I know is that I have two male friends who have made total career changes in their adult lives: One from pastor to policeman, and one from salesman to financial planner. They are the two of the happiest people I know!

2 moms found this helpful

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