18 answers

My Husband Wants a Boy!!!!

I want to know what to do? I am currently 20 weeks pregnant and just found out I am having another girl.Yeah! My husband was excited at the Dr.Office.But once we got in the car he was very quite and looked sad. I am not having anymore kids . I only want two kids so this is it . What should I do? Don't get me wrong he is happy but he really wanted a boy. Have anyine ever been through this . Tell me what should I do?

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What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Ok, After 2 weeks my husband has come to realize its a girl and he is very happy. He has begun to come up with names on his own and is planning sports that him and the girls can play together especially golf and soccer .He realize that they can do all of that.We are getting the room together .Its an exciting time now and he is doing excellent . I did have a talk with him about trying again but he only wants 2 kids and it works for me. I didn't want to be selfish so i took everything in consideration .I want to make him happy ,His parents think we should have 3 kids but we are happy with having 2 .I am happy and he is happy. I would like to Thank everyone for all of your advice .You guys are so WONDERFUL!!!!. Thank you.

Featured Answers

Adopt one, unless you just don't want to raise more than 2 kids. Mine wanted a boy, but he soon got over it. He has grown accoustom to a quiet house so when friends bring thier rambucious boys over, he can't wait for them to leave!!!

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There is nothing you can do to change his feelings. Just don't worry about it. She will probably end up being his favorite child. He will get over it. V.

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More Answers

Adopt one, unless you just don't want to raise more than 2 kids. Mine wanted a boy, but he soon got over it. He has grown accoustom to a quiet house so when friends bring thier rambucious boys over, he can't wait for them to leave!!!

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I understand what your going through. My husband and I have three girls! I always wanted a boy first and then a girl but you get what god gives you. We were so excited about our first it really didn't matter but with our second we were looking forward to a boy (didn't happen). Well when number three came around and wasn't planned my husband wouldn't even go to the ultrasound because he felt it might become a boy if he wasn't there. Anyway when they said it was a girl I was soooo worried about my husband. I got home and told him and he didn't believe me. He was in a depressed state for about a week. Anyway my point is my girls are all awesome and I love them to pieces but everyday lately my husband has been asking me for a boy. We don't have control over the sex of the baby and I'm afraid if we were to get a girl again he still won't be satisfied. He is a big jock and loves sports and really thinks he could bond with a boy but our girls love everything also! Whatever you chose will be the right decision for you but it is one to think about. Just let him know to be thankful for healthy children! Good luck.
C.

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I agree with Yvette. Adopt a boy.

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When I found out that my twins were both boys, I cried. I knew this was a one time deal for us, and I'd probably never have my little girl. Literally bawled in the parking lot of my obgyn. Took me a little while to get over it but as my pregnancy went on, I felt so excited about them being boys. It's natural to have some feeling of disappointment and it's also natural if you're disapponted in your spouse's reaction to something. You're both allowed to feel either way. As long as he's not sulking over something you have NO control over, then let him get through it by himself. You could say "I feel sad knowing you are disappointed about not having a boy. I feel excited about the new baby and I want to share my excitement with you. What do you think?" Maybe that would open things up for discussion. I know he'll come around. In my case, I just needed to let go of my dream family picture (boy and girl). My REAL family is way better than the one I imagined in my head! ;-)

Congratulations on your new baby girl to be! S.

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We all have things that life presents differently - I don't think you should overract. Maybe you will change your mind and have another (and maybe it will be a girl too :) ).

Either way, just support your husband and his slight dissapointment. When that little girl curls that finger around his, this too, will pass.

J

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I understand how your husband feels. My husband and I, although we love our boys VERY much, had hoped to have a girl. Our first was a boy...... Great! Then we had twins - kind of hoped at least one would be a girl, but nope - identical boys! Then we tried one last time. We read many of the books about "gender selection" and tried for a year to get pregnant with a girl. I ended up with an ectopic pregnancy (and I'm convinced it was a girl, by the way, but no way to know for sure). After that loss, and our advancing age (approaching 40), we decided it was just important to have a healthy baby. Surprise - it was a boy! But he has the best disposition of all of them! What a true blessing.

I still secretly (or not so secretly) hope to have a girl one day, but would have to adopt since my one remaining tube was tied at delivery. Meanwhile, I will just be happy with what has been given to me - 4 beautiful, healthy boys! Man, am I outnumbered! At least our newly adopted rescue dog is a girl :0) People frequently tell me that I will probably have all granddaughters! Good luck, and just give your husband some time..... he will come around. We weren't disappointed for very long. It's hard to ever be disappointed, especially after that beautiful baby is in your arms. You really cannot imagine not having them.

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My husband already had a boy with his first marriage... so he actually wanted a girl (which is my first baby)... He walked around for months prior to the "finding out" day rubbing my belly talking about daddy's little girl and ooohhh she's going to be laying on my chest everynight sleeping. Our ultrasound was on December 30, 2008. We decided not to open the "envelope" until New Year's Eve at midnight. What a way to bring in the year. I let him open the envelope.. he says..."oh....its a boy" with a very dismal tone. He said nothing more after that. I immediately started crying. And couldnt stop. I mean I know its the guys responsibility to determine the sex... so dont blame yourself but I know how you feel ... almost like you're to blame... he never once rubbed my belly again and acted as if ... big deal, youre pregnant.. he would never admit it was because I was having a boy.. and still wont to this day. Well, once my little man came into the world on MOTHER"S day.. i might add... my husband still was distant sometimes not even coming home... then one day he held him.. then a few days later, he really started to bond with my baby. Now, they are inseparable.. Maybe give him the chance to make the final decision on the name or the colors for the room... Let him really be a part of something. But dont worry, he'll love her too once he has a chance to bond.

Its okay. I promise.

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Well, there is really nothing to do but feel blessed. Even if you had a third baby there would not be any guarantee that is was a boy. There are alot of people who have been through this and quite frankly, I just think they get over it and accept God's plan. Just Be Happy is what I suggest.

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There is nothing you can do to change his feelings. Just don't worry about it. She will probably end up being his favorite child. He will get over it. V.

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My dad was disappointed that he didn't get any grandsons. But despite loving girly things, my daughter loves going fishing and helping with anything that involves tools. Encourage him to involve the girls in the same activities he would a boy.

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I felt the same way with my second child. I wanted a boy really bad. When they told me it was a girl, I cried. Driving home with my husband, I told him how sad I was that it was a girl and not a boy, and cried some more. And then... I got over it. I'm guessing your husband will, too. Give him a little time to let the news sink in and get excited again. We can't help how we feel, only how we react to those feelings.

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I'd say don't stress about it. He has 20 more weeks to adjust to the idea of having a girl. He will come around, but he just needs time to grieve for the loss of the son he'll never have. :( I assume that you guys discussed upfront that you decided that #2 would be the last no matter what.

So anyway, give him some time. He will love #2 just as much when she gets here. Believe me, little girls wrap their daddies around their finger from the moment they lay their eyes on them! :)

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He probably wasn't thinking about how this would effect you. This isn't yours to "fix". You guys got what you got and once he meets her, he'll be thinking to himself, "I cannot believe I ever thought I wanted anything else but her!"

He'll be fine. I think every dad dreams of having a boy to do "boy things" with. But girls can catch balls and play with dogs too. It'll be fine. And, who knows, maybe one day when you least expect it, you'll find out you're pregnant again. (It happens!)

Just let life happen. He'll adjust. He'll be fine and he will love the second child as much as he does the first.

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Sweety wants you get married it's not about just you anymore your decision will have to be for the both of you meaning you will have to talk to him about it. Ok you know he wants a boy ask him what he wants to do let him tell you his feelings don't let him keep that inside. depending on what he says then tell him you don't want to have more kids but your willing to try one last time. from this conversation he will either side with you not having any more kids or he will want to try again but the goal here is for you guys to talk about it and get your feeling out without any arguments and without keeping feelings inside that may cause him to go outside the marriage to get what he want cause it's not just about him either but you both have to come to one decision together and be sure no hard feelings and nothing kept inside. And if you do try again and you believe in god please pray very hard for it. Blessings to you I hope i helped.

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I found out I was having two girl twins at 16 weeks. When the U/S tech stated baby B was ALSO a girl my husband's reaction was putting his head down into his hands and shaking his head back and forth. My mom was there too and saw him do all of this (she wanted a grandson so bad too-but was happy that she was going to have two granddaughters too) and she told him Girls can play sports too you know? Girls can do just about anything a boy can do especially these days :())
It was very hurtful when I saw him do that and I told him that too-but I also told him I knew he was disappointed but that at least God blessed us with TWO healthy babies that their sex didn't matter and he agreed with me. Once those girls got here believe me not he couldn't have been any happier, prouder, whatever. Just let your husband know how hurtful you were and remind him that the sex isn't what is important-it's the health of your baby. Also remind him too that sometimes they can be wrong-lol!
You might want to discuss with him about trying for another instead of deciding you are "done". I mean not right away of course but maybe later down the road....my brother-in-law had two boys and then they finally lucked out the third try and got them a girl so you never know!

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Sorry, he has to deal with it.

I was TERRIFIED of having a girl. Once I found out I was pregnant I prayed to God every night please not a girl and not at Christmas. What did I get ..... A girl the day after Christmas! God gives us what we need, not what we want.We have to deal with it. Now she is two and I couldn't imagine a more perfect girl, even with her imperfections. I understand he wants the boy to relate to and coach the sports team and all of that, but he is simply going to have to learn how to share in whatever activities the girls choose. Just as I as a sport disliking mom have had to learn to get excited about my sons activities. My hubby is probably going to have to learn to all about ballet so he can share with our daughter and he will have to sit through all her recitals and not think they are stupid and pointless as he does now.

Good luck with your pregnancy and I wish you more luck with your hubby. It will take time to get over disappointment, but in the end he will get over it. Who knows you may have 10 grandsons!

J.

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"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." - Proverbs
Once he holds his beautiful new baby daughter in his arms all will be well.
Enjoy your children. God laughs when we try to make "plans".
It is not all about us.
Read a book called "The Traveller's Gift" by Andy Andrews. It will give you some insight.
I used to think like you. I am glad God changed my heart. I have three beautiful daughters and an awesome baby boy!
Don't forget to ask God what He wants in your life. Give it all to Him. It all belongs to Him anyway and your life will be super abundant!
GOD BLess!

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I have 3 girls so yes, I've been there! Their ages are 6,4, and 16 mths. With the first my husband was so excited it was a girl, the next he was less excited but still OK b/c we knew we wanted to have 3. The third time, he was just depressed! He got over it very quickly and loves his 3 girls. So you just tell your hubby even if you did try again, the chances are 50/50 so he still might not get his boy. I am 26 so we are condering adoption in about 10 years when the girls are bigger. Then we can make sure we get our boy! :-)
Good Luck!

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