My Eight-month-old Has Terrible Sleep Habits

Hi S.
I have 3 kids, so I've been through all the baby years - my yougest is now 7 and my oldest is now 14. My advice is to make a routine, dinner, bath, read a story then bed. Let her cry for 15 minutes, and if she doesn't stop then go in and just let her know you're still there without picking her up and leave the room. Do this as many times as it takes - she should be able to go to sleep on her own in a few days, maybe a week. Also, always put her to bed awake, so she learns how to put herself to sleep. If you start a routine like I've described and keep it, they will follow along for years. My kids still are on a schedule. If not, I'd go crazy! Good luck!
C.
Salem, VA

Hey S.,

We've all been there, dear. Get ready for a week or two more of sleep deprivation, your beautiful girl needs to learn a new routine. Sometimes this is a little bumpy.

Do you have a family bed or does she have a crib? Do you nurse or bottle feed? Not judging, whichever you choose, it'll just slightly modify what you do.

Sleep routines DO work, and I highly recommend one. What works best for our 3 yo is dinner, playtime (about 30 minutes), picking her jammies, bath, then snuggles with Mum. She always knows what to expect and when. When your daughter learns this (whichever routine you choose), she can anticipate what's coming next and learn what's expected of her. She won't always like it, but at least she'll know what she needs to be doing.

When she wakes up (and she WILL wake up!), be all business with her. Keep the snuggling and cuddling to a minimum. Give her what she needs (diaper, kiss, nurse/bottle, etc) and put her back down to sleep. I'm not an advocate of crying it out, either. Just too stressful for everyone involved. She's not something to be managed, but a beautiful little girl that doesn't give a hoot about day/night, sleep schedules or that mum and dad have to work all day. She will learn, eventually with your consistent and loving guidance, that she can comfort herself and eventually put herself back to sleep (and that mum and dad are a lot more fun when they get a good night's rest!). Unfortunately, this comes at different times for different kids. My 10 & 6 yo's did it by 9 months. My 3 yo did it by 10 months. My 9 yo autie (Autistic) didn't do this until he was almost 6 years old.

Have you read Dr. Sears? He and his wife (an RN) has good, down to earth advice that's not preachy or unattainable.

Good luck and God bless!

Don't let her cry it out. It might work but the minute she teethes or gets sick or you guys go on vacation or something you'll have to start it all over again and again and again and it's just too much for a child to handle.

You need a routine. Make a simple one. For example: my son has dinner at 5 pm. Then he gets a bath. Then at 6:15 or so he gets some sort of cereal with warm milk/formula in your case or pumped breastmilk because of her age. You can add a tiny bit of sugar and cinnamon and it's best to use some sort of whole grain cereal. Maybe start out with half a cup of milk and the right amount of cereal for a creamy consistency and feed with a spoon. This way she'll stay fuller for the night but not uncomfortable full. Then bottle/nursing, story and bed. It will take time and she will wake up at night at first but she'll end up sleeping 10-12 hours a night with at the most waking up once and only for a few minutes. Our son still wakes up sometimes (he's 2) but it's because he lost his paci or wants a drink of water or something. But you definitely need an earlier bed time. Don't think that just because you put her to bed earlier she'll wake up earlier. Usually that's not the case. It takes a while to establish a routine and see results. Maybe even 3 weeks so you'll need to be consistent. Please don't let her cry it out. The 'experts' say there are no long term emotional scars from it, but do you really know that for sure? When she wakes up at night, unless she's screaming in fear or pain, try to give her a minute or two. She might settle down on her own.

One other response mentioned "the Baby Whisperer" and I highly recommend it. It is a common sense approach! The book is actually "the secrets of the Baby Whisperer". I don't believe in crying... fussing is ok until the child is clearly in need of you. A schedule and earlier bedtime is key! More sleep actually brings on more sleep! I have 3 kids all helped by the Baby whisperer.. all slept very early through the night and for 12 hours fairly quickly. 12 hours by 2 months for two of them. My last has allergy issues and would have loved to have slept but we had to solve alot of issues with him before he was completely comfortable.. once that was done - 4 months, he slept like his sisters..

find a routine that puts her down earlier.. and use the baby whisperer's help for nighttime waking issues..

good luck

I sleep trained my son at 5 months using the techniques of "The Baby Whisperer".

We didn't do the full on CIO Ferber method, but we did allow fussing. If he would start to really cry, we would soothe him without picking him up. If patting his back, talking softly, giving the paci, wouldn't calm him down, we picked him up. As soon as Cody stopped crying, it was right back to the crib.

It took 5 nights and he was going to sleep on his own, somewhere between 7:30 and 8. We do a bath every other night, but he knows that a bath is a bedtime cue. We change him into pjs, brush his gums (no teeth yet). Then its a bottle and bed.

One thing that made a HUGE different is we got Cody a little blanky (its about 4"x4", velour on one side, fleece on the other). He needs that blanky to get to sleep, which is good because its portable and helps him to sleep no matter where he is.

Once we got the going to bed thing down, we set a time-limit on the nighttime feed. If Cody wakes before 5:30, he doesn't get a bottle (unless he's crying and won't go back to sleep after 30 minutes of soothing). If its after 5:30, Cody gets a bottle, then goes back to sleep until 9 or 10 (except on days I work).

Night time is only one part of the sleep training. Naps are also important. A baby that is overtired doesn't sleep well. As soon as I see a sign of being tired, Cody goes into his crib. He generally naps after being awake for 2 hours. His morning nap is 1 - 1 1/2 hrs; afternoon is 2 1/2 - 3 hrs; and sometimes in the early evening (5ish) he takes another 30-45 mins nap.

She may have gas try out some infant gas drops and see how that works.

It sounds from your post like your daughter does have a schedule, but that you want to change it.

Just for perspective, I would have been THRILLED with that sleep schedule at that point. I resorted to co-sleeping so that I could sleep and function the next day.

For what it is worth, my daughter started sleeping for longer stretches around 1 year.

Like many of the other moms, I highly recommend the Baby Whisperer and the Healthy Sleep Happy Child book. Based on those books and my own experience, what I would try is this: Start an early bedtime routine (try to have her asleep by 7 or 7:30 at the latest. If you are home earlier, try even 6 or 6:30). Once you have the early bedtime in place, try this: When she wakes up at night, go to her right away, but make it boring (give her a pat on the back or quick hug and lay her back down), and then check back every 5-10 minutes until she falls asleep. The first night will be rough, but the second night will be only half as hard, and by the 4th night, she'll probably sleep through. My daughter had a night waking phase and this cured it! It will be harder on you than it is on her, and she needs you to teach her how to have good sleep habits. Also, make sure your baby is getting the nutrition and naps she needs during the day. A lot to think about, but hang in there!
p.s., the baby whisperer has more of a "no-cry" "pick up/put down" solution, but I haven't tried it...

Our first child we didn't have a night time schedule with and today she is still a kid that doesn't sleep much. For our second child (up to our sixth) I swore by a bed-time ritual for sanity purposes. It really works, you just need to find what works best for you. For us, we have a bed time of no later than 9pm in our house and after doing it on a continual basis the kids just know now and don't even question it. They need their rest! My littlest one who just turned 2 is all about structure. He is ready at the same time each night now and we started doing that with him a few months after he was born. It's all about consistancy. They become creatures of habit! You may need to check with whoever is babysitting your baby because they may be doing certain things that could help the process so the baby is familiar with routine at home too. Good luck!

I know a lot of people feel very strongly about bedtime routines and also about letting babies cry it out. My daughter is 10 mo now and will scream and scream and scream unless we get her. We could turn off the moniter, but we both like to know if something happens, or if she does need us, we want to know (like if-God forbid-she should get sick). We have a bed-time schedule and it doesn't matter. Mainly this is because she generally goes to bed at the same time, and doesn't have to be sleeping when we put her down. It's what happens in the middle of the night, when she wakes up anywhere from 2-5 times, that tires us out. Sorry I couldn't help, but I wanted to let you know that my daughter is one that just won't be comforted or sleep by herself. (Nor will she co-sleep, b/c she wants to co-play.)

Try the Healthy Sleep Habits book, just skip the studies he goes into. You need a routine and a much earlier bedtime. For some reason, the earlier the go to bed, the longer they sleep. My son goes to bed at 630P and sleeps to 6-7A with one 2 hour nap. At 8 months he was still napping twice a day.

Hi S.,

Been there and finally had to resort to cio. We have a 12 month old who would wake up 4-5 times a night to pacify on my boob. It was getting so bad, I was soooo tired. Finally we had to do cio in order to get her to sleep in her crib and through the night. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but the crying was heartbreaking. She would only cry for about 20 minutes and then go to sleep. She would also wake up about once a night, but then quickly go back to sleep after crying for less than a minute. This was after about a week of crying it out. We are visiting my folks and she is waking up 2-3 times, but I just rub her back and she goes right back to sleep. When we return back home, we"ll start her back in her crib. I've gotten so much sleep since starting this, it's wonderful. For her bedtime routine, we have dinner around 6:30, then it's play time with hubby while i clean the kitchen, then it's bath time and then it's bedtime at around 7:45-8pm. She now wakes up at 6:30 sharp since we started cio, but I usually get up at 6am and bring her to bed to nurse when she wakes up. This is how we had to deal with my daughter's poor sleeping habit. I hope whatever you decide to do works for you. good luck and stay strong.

Yes, a routine is VERY helpful, just don't have the routine take a long time! It can be as simple as a blanket tuck, a recap of 2-3 thoughts/ remembrances of the day, something about tomorrow, a song, a kiss and "good night".

If her day's schedule is somewhat random, she'll have a lot to "work out" before her body and mind settle down for sleep and crying may be her best way to get it out of her system.

Even better is: 1. pajamas, 2.the next 45 minutes are limited to stories, coloring, or beans & rice in a wash bucket, stretches (including hanging upside down), climbing, some relaxing music in the background... stuff to mellow her as well as tense and relax her muscles...both with you and on her own, then 3. "bedtime routine". KEEP IN MIND HER DEVELOPMENT: around 8-10 months old they go through a "security stage" where they may be more fearful of things, more dependent on your presence for comfort, etc., so familiarize yourself with her development and how it may affect her behavior and have confidence in your "gut" instincts. Some night crying is just necessary to settle down, some night crying may be due to some pain or new fear.

Whatever you decide to do, your daughter will grow and learn through her experience that the next day- her life goes on... and you're there for her (even if you weren't physically with her all night)...

Hope this helps.

Hey S.,

My first child was like this. He too didn't have a bedtime routine and went to bed later and still woke up throughout the night and was up early too. And at that time, we both worked full-time and that made it even harder trying to get up and function daily. So with our second son, I had learned the benefit of a bedtime routine. It so works for us! We now have 3 sons and everyone completes the bedtime routine and off to bed we go. I keep it simple because this is our wind-down time. We shower/bath, lotion, night clothes, lights are dim, last feeding for the night, and bedtime. The consistency is key here. Every night we do the same things at the same time before bedtime. Never give up, okay?

I personally do not believe in letting them cry it out. They need to know that we are there for them through thick and thin. I did try that some with my oldest and after a long, long time I went to him and held on tight. He acted as though he was so afraid. I said that was not for me even if he had to sleep with us for the rest of his life! He is now 13 yrs old and I promise you, he does not sleep with us. LOL

Enjoy your little lady for she will certainly grow up right before your very eyes!

Take Care,
N. :) SAHM homeschooling 3 boys 13, 8 & 2 yrs old and married to my Mr. Wonderful for almost 15yrs. I love to help other moms, who want to become SAHMs, reach that goal!

We were having similar problems, around the same age. I was sort of intimidated by having a bedtime ritual, but it really helps alot!
Also, I realized that he was staying up WAAAAY too late. So, we adjusted his naps to being about an hour to an hour and a half after he gets up in the morning, the afternoon nap no more than 3 hours (usually 2 hours) after he gets up from his morning nap. Then (it's not necessarily this strict, but the schedule works well for me) at 6 (sometimes 5) he eats dinner, 6:30 in the tub, then we do lotion, jammies, a couple books, a snuggle, and he's usually in bed by 7. Once I moved his bedtime up by a couple hours, he sleeps later in the morning and is much happier in general.

HI,
I have some suggestions for you and maybe they will help. I have two little ones myself so I do know and understand how you feel. I have a 2 yr old and she still sometimes wakes up at night and comes to my room. I either put her back in her bed or I just let her sleep with me. I personally don't have a problem with that. Your little girl is 8 months. I would not let her cry continuously. I would say 10-15 mins. max. Does she get naps during the day? I would limit her nap to one nap a day and a max of 2hrs. My daughter gets up around the same as your daughter. I give her a nap between 12-130pm. I feel she gets enough sleep and she goes to bed between 8-930pm. That is my schedule for mine. Your little one does need to be on a schedule so you can start getting sleep at night so if you have a sitter have a talk with her or them and get something setup so you can deal better at night. Please don't just let her cry for a long period, that will upset her and feel unloved and so forth. Everything will get better just have patience. You definately have to have that.
Good Luck
S.H.

The Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child saved me. You need to do the same thing every day the best you can. Naps, meals, bedtime need to be consistent EVERY DAY. My kids are now 8 and 5 and we still have the same bedtime ritual we always have: Bath, PJ's, brush teeth, read a book, sleep. When they were little we never altered from it (OK, occasionally if we went out, etc.). I read to them starting as early as 1 year. You need early bedtime, 2 naps per day. The joy of putting them to bed early is you get an evening to yourself which is invaluable.

It's hard to be home at a certain time to let them nap but you're just going to have to plan your day around her schedule. It's not about you anymore, it's about her. You'll find that with a consistent schedule it's easier to plan your day and hers. Your husband needs to be on board, too. I was never good at letting them cry, just keep to your schedule and go in every 10 min. or so till she falls asleep. She'll be on board w/the new schedule soon enough.

First off your daughter has a routine you just don't know what it is. Next i understand where you wouldn't have wanted to let her yell at a young age but it's easier when they are little. They yell for a short time and than stop. But now they know you CAN come in and wonder why and will yell for a longer time. It can be very frustrating.
But what you need to do know is set up a plan. Feed, bath, read a good and go to bed. Lay her down and say good night it's sleepy time. than leave. Don't look back (As long as her room is safe she will be fine) Looking back doesn't help it hurts the situation. Just set or stand at her door and listen if you must. But after a while she will stop. If for some reason you are still standing there listening after 10 or 15min. Go in lay her down and pat her on the back and leave again (DON'T PICK HER UP)If you keep doing this she will stop and settle down after a while. Prob at her normal time at first but as the days go by it will get earlier and she will wake less. Good luck