My Dog, My Bed, and My Unborn Child

I have 2 children (ages 8 months and almost 3). My husband and I have had a pug for 7 years and he has always slept under the covers at the bottom of the bed. Both of my kids were fine and the dog never bothered them at all when they did sleep in our bed. Our dog was already stressed out enough by the new baby to change his sleeping routine would be cruel. The dog most likely will try to stay away from the new baby. I think as long as the animal is fairly clean I wouldn't worry about it.

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I'm not sure why some men have that reaction, my husband wanted that also when my son was born, but I did not change a thing and I'm glad that I held my ground. If you have treated your dog as part of the family and have established routines, there is no need to change things that work just because of a new addition to the family. Trying to change things for you and your dog will be stressful for you both and that is not good for anyone, including your baby. My son, who is now five, has learned through modeling how to be kind and loving to all animals, especially those in our family! Good luck and do what you know in your heart is right.

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We had and still have two austrailian shepherds. First I recommend to treat the dog the same as you always have. Don't exclude your dog now just because you have a baby. This can actually make your dog upset towards your child and jealous. You want your dog to bond with your child so they will love each other and get along. Also, you dont plan on having the baby sleep in bed with you, do you? I wouldnt if I were you....anyway, that's a long story, but I recommend a bassinet right next to the bed for about 4-6 months and then the baby should go into their own crib. You should do this if you want to ever get back to sleeping. The dog can stay on the bed, plus it's such a little dog, what difference would it make? We have two on our bed with us at night. People said oh you;ll get rid of those dogs when you have your kids , but NO WAY. I love them and they are my life savers sometimes when my kids drive me nutso. Dogs always appreciate you and they dont talk back! I have two girls (3 and 6) and babysit a boy that's 2. I take all three with the two dogs on leashes to the park very often and it all works! My dogs have bonded with my girls and until "we" go to bed one sleeps outside the door of my one daughters room and the other at the foot of the other's bed. BUT when we hit our room, the dogs come stay with us.(my husband and I) It is recommended that you bring something with the baby's smell on it home for the dog to smell before bringing the baby into the house. Let the dog smell and look at the baby when you bring her/him home. The dog will be curious and you need to include the animal with this new addition. The dog may stay away from the baby, but let the dog get used to the child and be SURE to love on the dog when you have the baby around. REALLY you dont want your dog to get jealous because then you'll have to worry later on that the dog might snap at the child. Dogs snap to state their position in the family not just to be "mean" that's how they "train" the child that they are here first so to speak. If you include the dog and dont isolate the dog, it will be much more likely to bond and protect and play with your child later than to be resentful of this little creature taking up "IT"S MOMMY"S " time. You are that dogs mom so to speak. I know that dogs are sensitive creatures, but they do have different ways of handling things. My male aussie was sort of scared of my baby, but gradually he got comfortable and was the best guy around the baby. My other female will let the kids pull on her, sit on her, and if she gets nervous, she licks them in the face (I know yuk) and they let her go. (Pretty smart dog actually, much better to be licked than bit) Anyway since then I have taken on another aussie since my older male passed. This new young dog, was scared of everything, but now is used to my kids and the two year old I sit and he would protect my 3 yr old I know with his life. She and he seem to have bonded big time. My female is bonded to my oldest daughter. REally dont exclude your little dog, it is part of the family. Ps. I got my second dog after I had my first child so my male could have a doggie friend to play with since I knew I'd be busy with the baby. That's why Ihave two now and it really does work out good for the dog too, so you may want to get another one. And if you're husband is the one that doesnt want the doggie on the bed, well get her/him a doggie bed, put that on the bed for a bit and then slip it onto the floor BEFORE you bring the baby home so the dog gets used to being on the bed on the floor before the baby is there. You dont want the dog to associate negatively with the baby or you'll have the dog jealous vs. accepting of the new child. And one final note, you'll miss that little dog in the bed!

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We did not kick our dogs out of the bed when our son was born. When I was pregnant everyone said we should. I felt that when my son was born the dogs were going to get less attention and didnt want them to lose their beds too! I think it was the best decision for me. Even though I don't have a lot of time for them during the day because obviously my son comes first, they get my attention at night when I am laying in bed.

My son did sleep in a bassinet and a crib though. I think I would have thought about it a lot more if I was co-sleeping.

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TAKE A LOOK AT THIS SITE:www.kidshealth.org

Here is an excerpt on co-sleeping and infant death: (I DON'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!

News - Rise in Infant Suffocations Renews Bed-Sharing Debate

Infant deaths blamed on accidental strangulation and suffocation in bed have increased dramatically in the United States, a new study says, which might ruffle feathers among parents who sleep with their babies, as experts note that the increase coincides with the rise in bed-sharing

Dear C.,

I don't believe in "co-sleeping" with a human baby for a couple of reasons:

1. A large adult could easily roll over on a small infant.

2. The baby gets use to sleeping with adults and before you know it you have a 3 year old or older child, who has to be trained to sleep in their own bed.

If your "dog baby" is anything like mine, once he is settled, he's there for the night unlike a human baby who will wiggle, squirm and wake up several times throughout the night. When they are bigger, the kicking and screaming begins...not fun.

Your husband probably never like the idea of your dog in the bed and the baby is the new/best excuse for him to persist.

I'm sorry that he isn't considering your feelings and wants the dog out. Hope is not a case of "It's Me Or The Dog". I’m afraid I might choose the dog since their love is unconditional.

I recommend when your baby arrives, he/she sleeps in a bassinette next to your bed for the first couple of months and then in his/her own crib in the nursery.

Also, when you deliver wrap the baby in a receiving blanket and then let your husband take that blanket home so your "dog baby" can have the scent of your new baby.

There's no reason you can't love both your baby and a dog that you have grown to love, unless the dog is vicious and a danger to your child.

Blessings....

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Our dog baby turned 14 on the 1st and she has always accepted our son. We got some excellent advice from our vet before the baby came. She told my husband to take a blanket that the baby slept on in the hospital home for her to smell. We had a few complicatons and were in hospital 6 days so there was time for this process. My husband would bring the blanket home and let the dog sniff and sleep on the blanket. When we were ready to come home the dog was excited to meet our son. We have had no problems or issues. When he was a newborn and would cry if someone other than myself or husband was holding the baby she would go and sit in front of the person and sniff to make sure her "baby" was OK. Now that my son is about to turn 5 they have such a great relationship! They play together every day and the dog waits for him at the door. Its OK for the dog to sleep with you but maybe your husband is using the baby as an excuse to let you know that he really never wanted to dog in bed. The dog may do what ours did and take up sleep residence in front of the bassinet to "guard" the baby. Life changes and sometimes we need to adapt and accomodate. Your dog will be fine and you will be so busy with a newborn that you won't miss the dog being in the bed. If the dog moves in his sleep then it may be a blessing to you because for a while that baby is going to make sure you are sleep deprived! Good luck with whatever decision you make and congratulations on the new one!

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Hi we have a chow boxer mix whom has slept with us with 3 kids- Let your dog meet the baby first let him find the baby in carseat outside front oor than dog will adopt the baby- good luck-dogs already feel displaced-be nice to your first baby.... good luck!

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Have you asked why he thinks the dog should not be in the bed anymore? personally, i did not make changes of where the cats slept after the baby was born but while expecting i did have to train them out of the crib (they thought it was a nice high comfy bed for them). are you planning on having the baby cosleeping and are you at all concerned about the old baby being agressive or overly friendly with the new baby? as new parents you both need to talk out fears and hopes and comprimise at times.
good luck.

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I am just curious why removing the dog from your bed would be necessary? Is your husband worried about germs? I am a nurse, I have always had a dog, and when introduced properly to a new baby, there are rarely problems. Just make sure you continue to give the dog a lot of attention. My dogs always slept in bed with my kids and they still remember it. (at age 44!) There are a great many resources to tell you how to train dogs with new baby, and would also point out any problems. Maybe get one of those books or videos for your husband so his concerns can be laid to rest. It is so important not to have it as an area of contention. Of course the baby will be numero uno! Good luck good luck to puppy too! T.

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Okay well, I completely understand as my dogs were my babies before I got pregnant and it is completely up to you on what your new situation will be once the baby gets here. For instance, will you breast feed, the baby will no doubt be in a cradle in your room for the first few months etc. Any light noise (the dog getting up or out of bed) could wake you. First decide how you think your situation will be or change to then decide. If you think it will be too much to have everyone in the room, then it would be best to start training your dog to possibly sleep in a dog bed on the floor. By the way, I was afraid when my baby came that I wouldn't love my dogs as much. I still love them so much, however, the baby comes first and always will. But I love my dogs too and they are great the the baby! : ) Hope that helps. Good luck!

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Hello C., I am the mother of 5 children. I have been a dog,cat & bird owner for many years. Never have I chosen a dog and its TAUGHT need over a child. This time I side with the husband!
When you had no children it was cuteise" very Paris Hilton" to have a tiny dog sleep and go everywhere with you -- and to have it sleep in your bed..me we have owned everything from Yorkie- to Dalmation- to Rottie. But it is not a child but a pet and you need to set boundries and rules now not at the last moment. People that wait tend to have miserable pets.
You are about to become a mother, that means in all its splendor that all else comes in 2nd place that included your personal desire for something over what is right for the dog and the baby. To even have to discuss this says that you have not clearly considered the baby you carry as the little person that he/she is. I know that the dachshund's that are in our family have been known to snip at children and have been known to try to push the baby off the bed. I would have gotten it a crate that day but they worked with the dog until it learned. You have several months to make the dogs habit and YOURS change. Get it a bed with a warming blanket, and remember that you taught the dog his habits and you didn't do it all at once but over time-- the dame will be true to retrain the dog. My son raises Boxers, he has show dogs. He has not let them sleep with he and his wife. They have slept next to the bed- when their baby came home the dogs didn't sleep in the room for the 1st 6 weeks and now they are back to sleeping next to the bed. Just know that this is the easiest of the 1 million decisions that you will be making the next 20 years. I have found that parenthood is like a roooer coaster ride with lots of twists and turns and more adventures than Disneyland. Have a wonderful time, Nana G.

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Our dog also slept in the same bed as us before our son was born. We didn't train her to get out of bed before the birth, it just sort of happened afterward because we were co-sleeping. I was so protective of my newborn that if she tried to jump up on the bed while he was in there, I would instinctively kick her off. She learned pretty quick. Of course, she's a lot bigger than a dachsund and a bit clumsy so I know she would have stepped on him unknowingly. I felt the same as you, that she was my baby, but you can't even imagine how different it is after your own baby is born. Our dog still sleeps on the rug in our room and now that our son is older and sleeps in his own room all night, she's back to joining us on cold nights. We're due with another one in March so she'll be kicked out again soon, but I'm not dreading the adjustment this time. It all sort of works itself out. Congratulations on your new little one! March is coming fast, isn't it?

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I think b/c your dog is small and sleeps at your feet you should be fine with her and your new baby in bed, make sure the dog is gentle with baby and you should be fine. Don't worry about dog dirt or hair, both my sons had 2 dogs in their space as infants and still do and were fine, actually exposure to dogs early in life helps to lessen allergies. We had to kick our dogs out of our bed but they are 90lb dogs, one still crawls in under the covers after my husband gets up for work

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I love my dogs the same as I did before my daughter was born AND one of them sleeps in the bed with me and as long as he can get up here will. I think after your daughter is born he will mellow out! Congrats.

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I guess it depends if you are planning on having your baby sleep with you or not. I never had my kids sleep in bed with me - they always had a bassinet or crib of their own. (I know there are tons of people who say that co-sleeping is fabulous, but personally it made me an insomniac nutcase! Put the baby on a feeding schedule and in her own bed from the start and you'll all sleep through the night within a month. But that's another post!) So if the baby is in a bassinet, then I don't think the dog would necessarily need to sleep elsewhere.

If you are planning on having the baby in the bed with you, then yes, you should get the dog used to sleeping in its own doggie bed on the floor. The thing is, newborns tend to have herky-jerky movements and do tend do make tons of noise, sometimes very suddenly. Dachsunds were bred to be hunting dogs, and their natural prey are small animals with herky-jerky movements and piercing cries. So even if your dog is the best dog on earth while awake, you don't know how she'll react when she's awakened from a deep sleep by something small that resembles her natural prey. No need to take that chance!

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I feel its going to be hard at first but I think you should get one of those big nice doggie beds to put at the foot of your bed. Try that it will probly do the job.

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Yes. Get the dog a bed and train her to be on the floor. Better to start now, so she doesn't feel like she is being replaced by the baby.

C. -
hey there! i'm very opinionated, so bear with me :) first of all, let me state my "credentials" lol : i have been a nanny to 6 different kids, have had three of my own, have owned a half-dozen dogs in my lifetime and worked in the veterinary industry for 12 years.
here goes:
1. dogs are pretty dirty animals to have in your bed: it's like wearing shoes to bed that you've worn outside alllll day long!! yuck, right!
2. letting a dog into your bed gives a dog the message that you are equals and can generate behavioral issues
3. letting the dog into bed with your baby invites harm and tells the dog that the dog and the baby are equals in the pack: this too can lead to trouble down the line

basically, my advice would be to train the dog NOW to sleep somewhere else because if you wait until the baby comes the dog will resent the baby (which the dog will anyhow but it will be compounded if the dog relates it's new "degraded" sleeping arangement to the arrival of the baby). a cozy basket right by your bed should be just fine for the dog and, like kids, with consistancy and rewards your dog will happily accept it's new place to sleep AND order within your family "pack"!
best of luck to you! my husband once brought a puppy home that he was letting sleep in the bed (we didn't live together/weren't married at the time) and i raised the roof about it: a year later he thanked me when the dog was 70 lbs and we were pregnant with our child! i know that your dog is small, but the concept is the same: people should always be higher in pack hierarchy then dogs and that means not sleeping together in the people's bed.

Hello C.,
If you are planning to have your baby in the bed with you then yes, get the dog to sleep somewhere else. Regardless of how wonderful or amazing your dog, ultimately she is an animal and therefore unpredictable. Also, dachshund's have a bit of a reputation of being protective of their mom's. My daughter is 2 1/2 and I still don't leave my daughter alone with our our lab.
Best of luck and congratulations!!!

"My dog, my bed, and my unborn child." That should be the title of a novel, or a play.

Yeah, you need to respect your husband's wishes on this one. And anyway, you may find that you have the feelings I did after my first baby was born: I loved my baby so passionately that I was kind of turned off by my once-beloved pets. After a few months they grew on me again, but you'll probably be surprised at how baby-love outshines everything else.

Here are my three thoughts:
1. Dogs can be very protective and a sleeping dog may react aggressively when a child wakes them. Once that baby comes home, the dog will have to come after the baby. Start the transition now.
2. Pick your battles - your and your spouse are going to have many disagreements about how to raise the baby. Pick your battles and let the small ones go. It is not worth the stress between you and your spouse. Buy a dog bed and put it by your bed.
3. Remember whatever you do once, you will have to continue. Start the behavior you want from the very beginning. What sounds like a short term good idea may not be 6 months, 1 year or even three years later. Using your dog as en example, having her sleep with you was a good idea but now your spouse wants the dog out of the bed. This will be a tough change for the dog. It is the same for a baby so start immediately with the behaviors or routine you want.

Good luck.

What a hard decision! I went through the same thing myself when my husband recommended we keep my "little boy" (7 year old chihuahua) out of our bed when we found out I was pregnant. He insisted on it, and I went with it. It took a week for my dog to stop crying in the crate, and for me to stop crying with him. I literally cried each night feeling as though I was betraying him and was breaking his little heart. Now that my son is 4 months old, I am glad I did it, no matter how hard it was. I'm glad I did it because even though I said I never would, I decided to co-sleep with my son for the first 2 months. Looking back it was the right decision for me, but I suppose if there is no way you are going to put your child in the bed there wouldn't be any harm in allowing your dog to continue to sleep there. Either way its a really hard decision, my dog was my number 1 baby, and I still love him to death, but its true your feelings for them change once you have your child. I love him still, but he is now my dog, where before I felt like he was my baby. Good luck, and if you do decide to move your dog out of the bed, you're in for an emotional and hard week or 2...hang in there! And do it sooner rather than later so your dog doesn't feel like there is too much change all at once with the baby and the bed change etc.

What's he worried about?

I think it depends on the temperament of the dog after the baby is born and home with you more than on a blanket rule of no dogs on the bed or something. We had to get rid of our cat after she scratched my son's face two separate occassions- he was petting her nicely and she swiped him; cranky kitty lives with Grandma now. I think we'd have opted for a different solution had the choice been go to the pound or stay with us.

C.,

I have a dachshund, miniture pinscher mix. He too has slept with us since he was only a few months old. My son is now 7.5 months old and we have all slept together in our King bed since he was born. I have never had any issues with it. I do know that it is not recommended.....neither is co sleeping. My son has transferred to the crib with no issues and now sleeps in it from 7:30 - 6:30 AM. I have always gotten enough sleep. I think that you have to do what feels right to you. When you feel confident in your choice it will be that much easier to do. We started my son in a sleep positioner in the bed when he was a newborn. That only lasted a few months until it didn't really work anymore. If you decide to take the dog out of the bed, I would start to do that now. They definately go through withdrawls and seperation anxiety. Plus it will be hard enough to get sleep with your newborn let alone hearing your pup cry and whine. Good luck....I am sure you will figure it out.

I don't know how to advise on your current dog dilemma, but I do want to put in a very good word about sleeping with your child in the same bed. It is NOT easy to roll on a baby or child in the bed, and children grow up and become independent in their sleep habits no matter where they are sleeping-it is a process and a maturation, not something they have to be taught-growing up is something that happens (sigh). I slept with both my children, many of my friends and family did as well, and I found it easy, comfortable, comforting, and adding to my peace of mind as I could tend quickly, and ultimately I think let me sleep better (always a good thing when you have young babies..). I have never heard of anyone rolling on their kid. My children were independent children and now, independent young women..Good luck and I sure hope you work out something with your dog and husband!!

Yes extremly necessary. a FRIEND OF A FRIEND HAD THIER DOG SLEEP IN THE BED IN ADDITION TO THE INFANT AND ROLLED OVER ONTO THE BABY AND SUFFOCATED IT.

Hi C.,
I'm gonna make a pitch for changing the pronoun in your title as soon as possible, to OUR....
your husband has concerns. I would talk to him about his concerns, and about your resistance, and how difficult this change will be for you. If he still persists in his beliefs, then do it! If you had a concern, you would expect support from your husband, even if it was difficult for him, or he would rather not..
Raising a child is the biggest lesson in cooperation I have ever received. It took me longer to change my pronouns than it should have, and I had a resentful, insecure man for a while. That is truly a difficult situation.
good luck! Your child is really lucky to have such loving, concerned parents, and a dog to kiss and hug.

Dear C.,
I personally think that you should start training your dog to sleep on the floor or in another area of your room. I believe it's best to do it now because until your baby arrives, you have no way of knowing how the dog will react to the new baby. If you wait until the baby arrives, your dog will associate the baby with the reason he had to give up "his" bed and therefore might not feel too peachy about the baby. I never co-slept, my babies had their own cribs, but if they woke in the middle of the night to nurse, I put them in bed with me because it was more comfortable to nurse laying down and I could doze a little while they nursed. Even if you don't plan on "co-sleeping", I can guarantee there will be times your baby will be in your bed with you and your dog may not like it.
Training your dog to sleep somewhere else doesn't mean you love him less and it's not the same as betraying him. Think of it as a baby-proofing measure. Once you get your baby home and get your routine established and the dog has time to become acquainted with the baby, it may be possible to have your dog on your bed sometimes. But, that's kind of another one of those things you won't know how it will work until the baby gets here.
I just think it would be easier in the long run to get the dog used to a different sleeping situation now as opposed to trying it later.

Best wishes and be sure to let us know when your baby arrives!

I'm sure you have had a lot of responses both ways on this one.

If it were me in that situation, I would think about the potentials of the dog in the bed with the baby. The possibility of the dog biting the infant is always there, but the other thing to think about is the fact that dogs carry parasites. That's a big one maybe people don't think about.

Internally, they carry heartworm, tapeworm, roundworm, and hookworm, all of which can be transfered to people via the pet rubbing their rear end on rugs and furnishings, licking themselves and then licking people's hands and faces, on their paws from scratching and walking in animal areas where other animals deposit parasites, and they can have them on their fur, which get transferrred when we pet them. Then there are the protozoan parasites.

External parasites are: scarcoptic mange (which is a kind of microscopic mite that burrows under skin, and transferrable to humans.)This mite is so bad and So HARD to get rid of, that many animals must be put to sleep if an infestation gets heavy. The other mite is the demodex mite (which they are finding in some people now who have rosacea or patchy balding.) Fleas which carry parasites transferable to humans including bartonella, ricksettsia, ehrlichiosis, and of course tapeworm. Tics, which carry the bacteria Borrelia b, (responsible for lyme disease, which is at epidemic proportions now in humans.)I'm sure you have heard of cat scratch fever, also caused by a parasital bacteria that cats carry inside and on their paws/nails which they transfer to humans when they scratch them.

It would be great if we could keep our pets free of parasites but that is pretty much impossible. And the diseases that they cause would blow you away. There are thousands of worms and medically doctors only test for 5% of them, when they test at all.

With all that said, I would have to agree with your husband, that the dog should be gotten used to sleeping in it's own dog bed on the floor at the foot of the bed, and not in your linens. If you do keep the dog in your bed, you should have the baby sleep in a bassinet or crib next to you. Personally I think infants should always be on pristine linens.

Good luck,
G.