My Daughter Pulls Her Own Hair

My friend has done this since she was little and still does. Her's is a coping mechanism she doesn't even realize she is doing when she is stressed. Who knows what all stresses a 21 month old? We'd probably be surprised.

Maybe if you tried to distract her? When you see her doing it give her some playdough or something else to do with her hands. One thing that is fun is jello painting. Just mix water with jello until it is a finger paint consistency. It is totally edible and yummy and still kind of gritty so it will provide tactile stimulation and distract her. Also, bubbles are the magic elixer of life. I don't know a single person, young or old, who doesn't love bubbles. I have found that bubbles work in distracting my son when he is upset or tired every time.

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It could be a self soothing process as others have stated but I would check with your dr. I work in a daycare and had a girl who did this from about16 months til 3 or so. she also ate it. you may watch to see if your child is eating it. her mother had to keep her hair buzzed like a boy but she still managed to do it. they went to the dr and found it to be a thing called pica i don't remember all the details but it is something to look in to. best of luck!!!

First off, Are you using RUBBER rubber bands, the ones that aren't covered with yarn or some kind of fabric or elastic? If your just using straight rubber rubber bands its ripping her hair out on its own. She is just trying to sooth her scalp by rubbing and pulling. My oldest daughter had the same problem when she started to grow her hair back from birth. And I learned NOT to use those rubber bands or even use rubber bands until she's older. My youngest now, has Lots of hair and I use those rubber rubber bands and she tugs on her hair. They don't have to be tight. Its just the feeling of having a loose hair being tugged on that makes them itch, rub or even pull on their hair. Try something diffrent like the cloth bands, head bands, clips, or even barrettes. All kids pull their hair, boy or girl at ages 15 to 24 months. Its sometimes a soothing matter, a fit, or even just the feeling of HAIR, but I really think that your daughter ain't used to the rubber bands and they pull just a little bit loose or not in her hair and so she's trying to take the darn thing out or trying to feel how the diffrence feels on her head or even because its uncomfortable. Try not using the rubber rubber bands. Use a diffrent kind. Hope this helps a little. Good Luck.

J., when I was about 5 years old I remember pulling my own hair to the point of baldness. I was a very shy child and all I can remember is that the pulling was very comforting. Entering kindergarten seemed to me to be very stressful and I think I did it for the comfort it brought me. To compund the problem my mother (who was a great moms in all other ways!)flew off the handle and yelled at me and cut my hair very short ( I had had very long pretty blonde hair). She made me feel terrible about what I was doing and so I did it more for the comfort! I do believe there is a medical term for hair pulling and it is related to Obsessive-Compulsive behavior. I was recently diagnosed with OC and I have a very perfectionist personality and am a very emotional person. That said I do think I grew up "normal" and overall I would say I had a wonderful childhood and I like who I am now. I am not saying your daughter has this (could be the ponytail just bothers her) AND she is much younger than I was when I pulled my hair, BUT you may want to talk to a doctor about this. Remember if it continues, the worst thing to do is make her feel bad for doing it or punish her. Good luck and I hope this doesnt scare you just gives you an idea of what it may mean.

J., My daughter used to pull her hair from about 18 months old to 3. It got so bad people were asking me if she had cancer. I went to the doctor and he said she would grow out of it, that it had just become a comforting habit. He also said not to ignore it, not talk to her about it, or ask her to stop. It was not easy (the top of her head had no hair!) but she is now 5 and has a beautiful head of hair. Stay strong. E.

J.,
First of all let me say I'm sorry you are going through this. I have been there! My son did the same thing @ one point in his life. He is 7 now and doesn't do it anymore, so there is hope. The research I read suggested to keep the hair so short that it could not be pulled out. My son had a bald spot so large on the top of his head that he looked like Friar Tuck. It made me sick to my stomach to look @ him and wonder about what was making him do it. It is a stress reduction response. He did it mostly @ night while in bedk, so it wasn't even like I could stop him. I have another friend whose daughter did the same thing, and she used the same suggestion. I would suggest that you cut her hair very short for a time to stop the habit. After she has quit, you can let it grow back. Try google-ing hair-pulling you will get a LOT of info. God bless you, I'll be praying for you. Let us know how she progresses with it. D. E. (homeschooling mom of 9, birth doula, childbirth educator, lactation counselor)

My son starting doing the same thing at about 18 months. He's 2 1/2 now and still doing it. Luckily, he's a boy so I've managed by keeping his hair buzzed too short for him to grip it. Every time it starts growing out a bit - he starts pulling again - and I go for a quick buzz before we get a bald spot. It's much trickier with girls - I wish you luck! Do know that I don't think this is all that unusual.

My husband is a family physican and it is a medical condition. I would talk with your family doctor, and get suggetions.

Talk to a doctor or ped psychologist just to safe that is extremely unhealthy and not normal..... God bless

My niece did this when she was young. She would wind her hair around her fingers and pull it out. It was a stress thing. When she would feel stressed, she would basically take it out on her own head. If you can find the trigger and eliminate it, you may eliminate the problem. Hope this helps. Shannon

Ps. What if you try sitting and combing her hair more often and tell her how pretty it is. She may respond to that. Both of my boys like to have their hair combed. They just lay their heads on my lap. Its some wonderful bonding time.

20/20 (ABC) did a show on this just last night! Maybe there is more information at ABC.com.

L.

J.,

Lisa had wonderful suggestions. We are dealing with this with my niece that will be 3 in August. She pulls and twirls her hair all the time. She even does it in her sleep. I know that she has had a really hard life so far. So it is probably related to stress and emotional issues at her age and she does not know how to over come all of this. What we do is just try to get her active in something. This is where Lisa suggestions comes into play. Make sure she is doing something with both of her hands. jello painting, blowing bubbles, even when it gets warmer out side walk chalk. My niece loves to make music with pots and pans and wooden spoon. :o) very loud but she loves it.

Good luck to you!!

Hi! Last night on tv, I saw a program on women (and female girls) that pull their hair out to the point where they are bald except for very very short pieces (as short as 1/8 of an inch). The program said it was not a psychological problem, but a medical one. One that they have not figured out why the woman/little girl has this desire to do so. I would recommend searching the internet to see if you can find any info. One of the suggestions was to keep the person involved in an activity that involves their hands. Sometimes it can appear after stress, divorce, etc. I hope this helps somehow. God bless you and your daughter and your family. Please let me know if you find out any info that will help.

My cousin's son did this as a preteen for awhile to the point of a bald spot as well. I think it was a nervous habit (tick) like someone else mentioned, an anxiety thing. I would ask your doctor to see if there are any recommendations, but I don't know how they can get her to stop. I hope it's just a stage and she grows out of it fast. Good Luck!

J.,

I feel your pain! My daughter did the same thing. She is our first. My second daughter was born when she was 19 months old. She seemed to adjust very well but after a couple months, she suddenly had a huge bald area on the right side of her head. It was like she had a mohawk. I was so stressed! I was so worried how she looked...her hair had always grown quickly so she'd never been without. I realized she was pulling out her hair when she was in bed. I tried everything....mittens to bed, special hat, telling her to stop, etc. One thing I can tell you is that trying to convince them not to do it only adds to the stress. I did a lot of online research and saw something like 20/20 years ago. There is a disorder called tricholomania. It freaked me out a little hearing about the extremes but I am convinced my daughter had/has a very mild case. We never actually did any testing but you can find specialists online in your area. I know that my daughter pulled her hair as a self-soothing strategy. It finally stopped at about 2 1/2 to 3. It had actually gotten much better before that but still happened some. I finally figured out that when she was a baby my hair was long. I remembered that when she nursed, she twisted my hair around her fingers and also would wrap my hair around the base of her pacifier and put it in her mouth. I think she associated the sensation of hair with comfort. Her hair grew back and she did well until we moved again and had another baby. I started finding very significant sized hairballs around her bed and in her mouth. Her hair thinned but she never had baldness again. I think because her hair was long that fewer strands went much further. She was 5 and could understand now. Once again, it didn't help to make her feel bad or in trouble. We just had to work through it. I did tell her we would have to keep her hair short if she couldn't figure out something else to help her deal with anxiety. I find that she really likes chewing gum even to this day (she's now almost 8). I would suggest focusing more on eliminating triggers if possible and coming up with alternate ways to soothe. One thing that really seemed to help was having a crocheted blanket that she could poke her fingers through and get some sensory feedback. Maybe try a bath with sponges, bubbles, and some type of body brush before bed. Maybe also some sensory things that require more chewing before bed like hard cheese or twizzlers. The biggest thing I would say is to work on your own stress level...the hair loss is harder on moms than kids. I really had to get to where I could really feel that it is just hair. Be aware of the disorder and things to watch for but don't freak yourself out that this is going to be some horrible life-long ordeal for her. My daughter is very bright and well-adjusted. She does still have a harder time dealing with new situations like crying her first day of soccer today. She did the same thing with dance but loved it after a few weeks. Some kids just have a little harder time dealing with stressful situations. I think it is very beneficial to talk about appropriate ways to deal with stress and fear (strategies that are acceptable and effective) as she is age appropriate. Good luck with this. If you just need some encouragement or support, feel free to contact me.

K.

I would suggest that you check with your state for thier early developmental screening program. Most states will send someone to your home (free of charge) to check out your child's development and give you advice if this is something you need to look into further.

Since pulling hair is painful and she does it to the extent that she has pulled hair out, you should try to get to the bottom of why she does something that will be a red flag in a developmental screen (self injurous behavior, or SIB.)

This could be related to stress or a sensory need that she cannot process yet, which should be checked out with a developmental screen sooner, rather than later. I would try all kinds of other sensory-tactile replacements for the behavior (the bubbles and the jello sound fun!)

Good luck!
M.

Hi Jamie, My sister's little girl did the same thing and I believe she grew out of it. But there was some concern about it turning into an obsessive compulsive disorder. I believe it is called trichotillomania. I remember them putting socks on her hands to make it harder for her to get ahold of hair. She is slightly autistic and I'm not sure that that even had anything to do with it. I would talk to her doctor to make sure you don't need to be concerned. There are also plenty of websites for info. Hope this helps and God Bless! N. L.

My son is 23 months and does the same thing. Mostly when he's tired or stressed. I think he has sensory issues (maybe a mild case of the trichomelo-whatever it is). When he pulls his hair out he rubs it against his nose.
The only thing that seems to help is giving him a fuzzy blanket. He pulls pieces of fuzz off and rubs that on his nose instead!

well i don't have a child that has this problem, however i did go to school with a set of twins that did this to themselves. Not quite the same as your daughter as she is so young, but you may want to mention it to your pediatrican at her next check-up. i know with these girls it was an actual disorder and maybe something a doctor could suggest could help. Again not saying by any means this is the same thing with your daughter it could just be a stage she is going through, but something to consider. I would try just doing simple headbands or small barrettes to keep her hair out of her face but that might not bug her as much as a ponytail. I have an almost 2 1/2 year old daughter and she hates having her hair messed with most of the time and the simpler the better is how we do it for now. I hope if I wasn't able to offer you any real help at this time maybe a little insight- good luck :)

I don't know if you have talked to your pediatrician about this, but I would just in case. I am not a Dr. by any means, but I am a teacher and have had a student that did this and she had to wear a wig to school. She was OCD and had this was a way she dealt with stress. It could be a 'tick' of some sort that maybe she will grow out of as well. I had another student that would pull out his hair and his eyelashes who had Turrets syndrome. I am not trying to scare you or anything because it could be, as I mentioned previously, something she will grow out of as many other mothers mentioned. I was just saying that you may want to bring it up to your pediatrician. Good luck.