A.D. asks from Osseo, MN on July 10, 2007
My Daughter Keeps Getting Bitten at Daycare!
One or two kids in my daughter's daycare are biters. She has been bitten 4 times in two months since she started in the Toddler room. They have all been bad and turn into bruises. I'm concerned about this due to the pain/trauma for my baby, the risk of infection, and I'm afraid she'll become a biter as well. Other than this problem, I totally love where she goes (KinderCare in Maple Grove), so I don't really want to pull her out. Is there anything I can do about this? Would it be too much to ask the Center to perhaps kick out kids who are chronic biters? I'm at a loss here. Any advice on what I should do?
So What Happened?™
I did go and express my concerns with the Center Director. She said she was working with the parents of the child that was biting. A few weeks after that, the teacher in the room mentioned that the parents had been bringing some sort of teething rings or biscuits and that the child hadn't bitten anyone in a while. I guess he was getting his 2 year molars. So, I'm happy to say, it's now been 2 months since my baby was bitten and I feel much better. She hasn't started biting at all either which is something I was really concerned about.
P.K. answers from Minneapolis on July 10, 2007
I had this problem too for a while. (At Childrens World, but now it's a KinderCare). Biting is a learned behavior. Most diseases you're daughter will be protected from (with her normal imunizations), especially since the bites aren't always breaking the skin, and chances are the other child is also protected and wouldn't be carrying diseases around, other than the normal cold bug, etc.
I would have a talk with the center director about your concerns. If the biting children are a problem for your daughter, they are probably biting other children as well, and if that's the case, those biters might already be walking a thin line regarding getting kicked out of the center.
It also could be a problem that only your daughter and the other biters are having, sort of a bullying issue. My daughter was bitten always by the same child, so the teachers had to pay close attention to them so that if things between them got heated, the teachers could step in before any biting could take place. For whatever reason, those 2 girls just didn't like each other, and conflict always ended up with my daughter getting bit. Eventually, she bit someone too because she was constantly being bitten and she learned that biting is the way to end conflict. Talk to the center director about it becoming a bigger issue. (discuss the concern of her bring the biting behavior home as well. Perhaps they will take the issue more seriously.) 4 times in one month is alot in my eyes. You, your daughter's teacher and the center director are a team...and they should be concerned about her welfare and situation. If they aren't heartfelt, then I'd question why the biting children are still allowed to behave this way. Perhaps the teacher isn't watching close enough, or the children have too much free play time, instead of group activities or lessons. Good luck.
H.W. answers from Minneapolis on September 05, 2007
This happened to my son (in a 6 month period he was bit by the same child 15 times) at the same center but different city. Also, after the first bite they told us "we thought he was done with the bitting, he hasn't bit in a few weeks now". I ended up sitting in the director's office and talking to her about it many times. They kept telling us that they were going to change things but nothing ever changed. I eventually ended up making about 5 calls to the corporate offices and getting transfered and put on hold more times than I could keep track of. Nothing ever happened until I told them that if they didn't start taking care of the situation that I would be talking to the county, state, and the BBB.
Well things happened really quickly after that, they finally separated the child and my son, and for the past 2 months my son hasn't been bitten and the other child has not bitten anyone.
From experience they will not kick the children out they'll just tell you what they think you want to hear to make you think they are doing something about it.
This is now the 5th center with that name that I have either had problems with or heard of problems with, also my sister works for one and tells me all the time how they do a great job of covering things up.
My advice is when you start to have meetings and talks make sure that you are letting them know that you are going to check in with them every 2-3 days or something like that and that you want to see something done to prevent the bitting. If you do call the corporate offices don't let up keep pushing until you feel that you have been heard, understood, and taken seriously, and then still don't let up.
I was afraid that they would treat my child differently after all of the phone calls and meetings but they haven't. However, they have treated me differently everyone is on their toes when I walk in because they know that if I see something I don't like that I will do everything I can to make sure things are done right for the safety of my child.
E.R. answers from Minneapolis on July 11, 2007
I would sit down with the head teacher of the room and the director and disuss the problem at hand Then try to figure out a solution Its up to the daycare to figure out a solution so your daughter is not getting hurt every day instead of having fun at school
C.O. answers from Minneapolis on July 10, 2007
Have you talked to the daycare to find out if they are doing anything to stop the biting? My son goes to a home daycare and there was a girl that kept biting. My daycare provider would give her time-outs and also got the girl's parents involved. Now several months later she doesn't bite and my son has never bitten.
J.D. answers from Minneapolis on July 10, 2007
I run my own montessori preschool and I would not stand for a child who is a frequent bitter. I would suggest that you talk to the staff at kinderCare about the other children who are bitting your child. I would also keep a journal of who, when, where, and photos just in case this doesn't get solved. The children who are bitters need to put on some sort of behaverioal management plan or system to help them not to bite. Then if after a month the children don't stop biting they should be asked to leave. Maybe if they have a toy from home they could bring to bite on instead for your child that might help.