19 answers

My Daughter Cries When I Drop Her off at School She Is in 2Nd Grade

We are in the 3rd week of school.And last Tuesday I dropped off my 2nd grader and she went to the school door and truned around I thought that she had left something in the car.Tears were comming down she said that she had a stomach ake.
Every day now she has a stomach ake and cries when I drop her off.I asked her what is wrong she use to love school.She said that the work is to hard.When her teacher said that she is doing very well.She says that she misses me all day.I just don't know what to do.

1 mom found this helpful

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So What Happened?™

I went to drop off my daughter yesterday.She got up and could not wait to get to school.When we got to the play ground I had to go to the office because my son was sick.She was fine untill I came back onto the play ground.She started to shake and cry then 4 little girls came up to her and come to find out that this one girl said that April took her pencil.April stood thier and keep on deffending her self.Now if this was my son I would have thought secondthoughts but my daughter is pritty good on telling the truth.The other girls said that April and this little girl did not get along.So today I am going to the teacher to find out what to do.I had my husband drop her off and she said that she was shaking.I will keep you up to date.

Featured Answers

If possible I would plan a day to volunteer in her class. This will allow you to observe things, her in the environment.

When you get home spend the evening chatting with her in detail about all that went on. Really act excited about what you saw at her school, act like it was Disney land, and go on and on about how awesome you thought everything was.

Pick up a new cool supplies kit for her for school with her favorite characters, etc.

Set up a play date with school friends to establish more of a bond with them so the environment will be more pleasant for her.

Hope this helps.

Pam A.

That is so hard, I am sorry. My daughter did it last year for 6 weeks in the middle of 1st grade. After asking her many many questions, we finally found that she was being teased by other girls in her class. Look into that. Bullying starts so early now. Good luck!

More Answers

Hi L.,

The only thing that I can tell you is that my daughter was being mistreated (for lack of better word) by her teacher for months and I IGNORED all the red flags. Until my daughter started getting physically sick. I contacted the school and met with all parties involved including the director… All my concerns fell on deaf ears - the teacher had an excuse for every incident my daughter complained about. Long story short, there was an investigation launched and the teacher was released. All of my daughters accusations were confirmed by other students and teachers (based on the investigation). I was told other teachers knew what was happening and were afraid to loose their jobs.

I’m not saying that’s the case with your daughter, but PLEASE listen to her. If this behavior is unlike her then you as a parent have every right to get to the bottom of it. Ask questions, meet with the teacher ask your daughter why she’s afraid and how you can try to make the situation better.

It might be one of her peers, kids can be very cruel.

Best of luck

1 mom found this helpful

L.,
This is hard, but you will need to just let the teacher or principal handle it. I work at my son's elementary school and we see this during the first couple of months of school and it is normal, especially after a long break such as summer. Keep in contact with the teacher regularly and it will get better as the school year goes on. My girlfriends daughter would hang on to her leg and not want her to go, she did this from kindergarten to second grade. They will eventually know that it doesn't change, that they need to be at school.
Also check to see what it going on in the friend category. Sometimes that may cause stress too. She may be being shunned or something, so it doesn't feel good to go to school. Unfortunately girls start very young being catty and mean. Just make sure no one is treating her indifferently. It will get better.
~~D.

maybe send her with a special necklace or a picture of you in her folder????

First of all, it's right out of the "Your Seven-Year-Old" book. My daughter had 3 days home with terrible stomach aches. I took the day off and went to school with her the next day. I found out that the teacher had made her write "standards" after she had yelled to warn the other kids that the teacher was coming. I saw how stern the teacher was. She was very different from her first grade teacher. Since she was the only second grade teacher, I would've had to move my daughter from the school to move her out of that class. Instead, we sat down every night for her to tell me everything that happened during the day. (I was actually hoping to gather evidence against the teacher, so I typed it all as she spoke). However, after just a few days, my daughter was happy again and didn't have any more trouble with that teacher. (She continues, at age 23, to have stomach troubles due to anxiety). She stayed and did her best work that year. I agree with all the advice to listen, listen, listen.

If possible I would plan a day to volunteer in her class. This will allow you to observe things, her in the environment.

When you get home spend the evening chatting with her in detail about all that went on. Really act excited about what you saw at her school, act like it was Disney land, and go on and on about how awesome you thought everything was.

Pick up a new cool supplies kit for her for school with her favorite characters, etc.

Set up a play date with school friends to establish more of a bond with them so the environment will be more pleasant for her.

Hope this helps.

Pam A.

Happened to my son when he was in 2nd grade too---the tummy aches, not wanting to go to school...turns out he was being bullied at recess. It was resolved quickly and the teacher was very supportive. At the time I didn't think of volunteering at the school, as the other moms have suggested---which is a great idea.
I don't think it is simply a case of her missing you, unless there are some changes/issues at home too that she has trouble coping with.
But please do not ignore the situation. Good luck!

It's funny, I am mid/late 30's and I remember 2nd grade being VERY hard. I agree with the previous comments and have the counselor meet with her regularly to see if they can figure it out. I'm sure you won't, but do NOT ignore this or just wait for it to pass. She is still young enough that how she learns to deal with these situations now (and how others help her with them) can influence how she deals with stressful situations for the rest of her life.
I like giving her a picture she can hide in her school supplies and the handful of kisses (or a whole bunch of hugs in the morning and she can "use" one when ever she needs it). Good luck, I'm sure you will figure it out.

Hi L.,

I think it is a stage of life. My son did this in the middle of first grade. One day he held on to me for dear life crying and saying he didn't want me to go. This was a child who gave me a casual wave as he left for preschool. He was quite independent.

Let me tell you, the situation got worse before better. There were days when he teacher had to peal him off my leg. I asked him if kids were picking on him - No. His school work was fine. We both loved his teacher. I spoke with all of the recess and lunch supervisors who watched for bullies. They reported back that he played fine with no problems.

His teacher made him a sticker chart. Each morning that he went into the class with no problem he received a sticker. When he had a few days he received a prize, then a week's worth another prize. I think it took three weeks to send the last of the tears away.

To this day we do not know what triggered his mommy missing. And, that was the only explanation I ever received. He missed me.

So my daughter is seven and in 2nd grade like yours. A couple of weeks ago she had an anxiety attack while waiting in line because she misplaced a math paper. Then we had an occurances at the baseball field where she was with her dad but freaked out because she didn't know where I was - thought I had left her. This has happened a few time since and I've been close by each time. She'll even panic when I am going around one side of our truck and she the other.

Last night she had three nightmares where I left her, the last one a monster ate me. Today I let her have an anxiety day, but I let her know there is a one day only rule. I am at her school all the time since I am active in the PTA. I know what is going on in her class and on the playground. Once again I am attributing her behavior to a stage of life. It is bothersome and worrisome but I am comforted that my son went through the same stuff just a year earlier in time than his sister.

Just give your daughter support and love. I would bring the teacher and supervisors into the loop. In time it will work itself out.

C.

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