16 answers

My Brother Just Found Out He Has a 6-Year Old - How to Tell My Daughter???

My brother, who has no children and is not married, just found out that he has a 6-year old, confirmed by paternity test at the courthouse. We will soon be meeting our new nephew and are very excited as we are a close family. My question is this: how do we explain to our 5-year old that she has a "new" cousin?? I'm not sure how to bring the issue up to my daughter without totally confusing her and without getting into too many adult details. She's going to wonder where this little boy has been this whole time not to mention, she's never looked at my brother like he was a "dad" - just an uncle. There is a huge learning curve for all involved (especially my brother!) and I'd like to help facilitate things in every way. Have any of you moms ever been through something similiar?? Advice please?!?! THANKS!!

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Featured Answers

You are reading too much into this. Just tell her that Uncle has a little boy and we finally get to meet him.

1 mom found this helpful

I feel that you are putting more into it then the kids will. Just say that he is a cousin that she has not met. And that he is uncle ----- child.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Children are smarter than most people give them credit for. Simply tell her that he is her cousin and that he has not been there for certain reasons. If she questions you, then simply tell her that it is not something she needs to be concerned with. How about I had to explain to my daughter was was 3 at the time that she had a sister 13 months younger than her that had lived only 5 miles from her for 3 years. For 3 years, her father was her father only in her eyes. I introduced her to her sister. Told her that her sister is from her father and that was that. There was never any questions. I can assure you, your daughter is not going to wig out. Just tell her that it's her cousin and don't act like it's a big deal. If the adults wig out about it, the kids will pick up on the vibe and they will too. If the adults act like he's been part of the family for the past 6 years, then your daughter and new nephew will too.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi AB,

I think of everyone involved, she is probably the one you don't have to worry about. She will most likely think its way cool to have a kid her age to play with. If she asks a question, just answer as truthfully as you can. They are full of questions, but they are also blessed with the ability to just adapt, especially when it comes to having fun time. You and your brother need to meet up at a park or the childrens museum, so that they can just bond and do what kids do, have fun together. It's a wonderful thing that your brother is getting a chance to be in his sons life at this age, much better to know now than to learn this when he was all grown up. Enjoy!!!!

1 mom found this helpful

You're over thinking the process......she's 5 and her world is simple - as should the introduction be.

"This is your new cousin Billy. He's about your age - 6. Why don't you go outside and show him around. I'll call you guys in a little bit when the hot dogs are ready."

Trust me - they will have their own conversation about it while swinging one day and the explanation of who he is, etc will be explained in his words.

1 mom found this helpful

Well how about just telling her that her uncle is a daddy and you are all going to meet his son soon. Of course when she asks about where the boy has been maybe you could just keep it super simple like maybe explaining that all kinds of people are mommies and daddies. A lot of the time mommies and daddies are married and live together but sometimes they don't. (Child's name) mommy and daddy don't live together and he has been living with his mommy until now. Now he will come and visit his daddy and we will get to meet him and you will have a very special cousin to play with. If she asks why not all mommies and daddies live together I would just be truthful and say you don't know, grown ups don't always tell why they do things and it is not polite to ask them. I think if you keep it super simple and focus on the joy of meeting the new family member it can go really well. Best wishes and congratulations on finding out about your nephew, it may take some adjustment but children always bring joy in any situation. Take care:)

1 mom found this helpful

Like the others have said keep it simple & honest, answer only what & when asked. If she asks about the Mom or where has he been now or later down the road, then just say your Uncle and the Mom were together years ago. Leave it at that. She will be happy to have a cousin. As they get to know each other, her cousin may explain the best.

1 mom found this helpful

You are reading too much into this. Just tell her that Uncle has a little boy and we finally get to meet him.

1 mom found this helpful

I feel that you are putting more into it then the kids will. Just say that he is a cousin that she has not met. And that he is uncle ----- child.

1 mom found this helpful

Just be honest. Just sit down w/her & say something like "you know uncle we thought has no children, well we've found out just recently, he does now have a son & he is your cousin." Then tell her his name. If you believe in God, just say that God has blessed him w/a son, God decided that he is chosen to have a son. If you don't then I'm sure you'll think of the right thing to explain but I would just be honest. Kids are more receptive than you might think. I know that the truth is always best & you can fill in the adult parts later if that time ever comes but for now, just explain that simply, she has a new cousin that you all didn't know. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

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