21 answers

My Best Friend Keeps Blowing Me Off

I am not really sure what to do about my best friend. She is a wonderful person, but not the greatest of friends. She will tell me she is going to be somewhere or do something and she ends up blowing me off. Sometimes without a phone call. I invited her and her family to go on a vacation with us and she wasn't sure if she could or not and then a week later told me she was going with her husbands family to the same place after I asked her about. I really enjoy our friendship, but I sometimes feel I am in it by myself. My husband seems to think she doesn't want to be friends anymore, but I just can't seem to let it go. Any advice would be great!
Thanks,
A. H.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Some things never change. I feel like our best friend status is pretty much over, but we will probably always keep in touch.

Featured Answers

I recently found myself in similar situations with ppl. I had a few ppl I considered friends, but I felt like I was always the one doing the calling, inviting, etc. I decided to let it all go. I stopped calling these ppl b/c I didn't want to keep feeling like I was "begging" for friendships. It made me depressed. I would try it... just don't initiate anything anymore. See where that takes ya'll.
Good Luck. I know it sucks w/out true friends.

2 moms found this helpful

I would just back off. Stop inviting her to go places with you, and if she doesn't make any effort to invite you out, then maybe it's time to let go of the friendship. I have to say that as far as going out, I don't do much of it. I've blown my friends off countless times (mostly because they don't have children and still frequent places that I as a mother wouldn't be caught dead in) and now they rarely invite me to go out with them. We are still friends, but I know that if I feel like going out, I better call them and invite them out!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

I recently found myself in similar situations with ppl. I had a few ppl I considered friends, but I felt like I was always the one doing the calling, inviting, etc. I decided to let it all go. I stopped calling these ppl b/c I didn't want to keep feeling like I was "begging" for friendships. It made me depressed. I would try it... just don't initiate anything anymore. See where that takes ya'll.
Good Luck. I know it sucks w/out true friends.

2 moms found this helpful

Life is way to short to waste even a second worring about something like this. I have had a very similar circumstance and I know it hurts because like it or not we truly care about our friends. What is important is for you to refocus all your time spend trying with your friend and focus on your family. The rewards are so much more benificial. Hope this gives a little inspiration.

2 moms found this helpful

I am sorry that you feel that way. I know that I may not call or email everday but I always think about you. It is hard to hang out like we used to. We both have families and it is hard to get together. As far as me not pulling my part of the weight, I feel like I do my best. I can't think of my not doing what I said I was going to do and I would totally call if I could not make it or do whatever I said I was going to do. As far as vacation goes, if I didn't go with my in-laws I would not get to go to the beach at all. It is all about the money. It is costing me $150 for my room compared to $500 if I split it with your family. I had no choice. I am so upset about you thinking I am blowing you off. I would NEVER do it on purpose. You are the ONLY friend I have that is not a family member. I get jealous because you have other friends you can hang out with and I don't. I feel like you have more fun with them then you do with me. You just like to hang out with them alot more than you do me. I got my feelings hurt at the rodeo. Since your other friend was there you hardly said 2 words to me. I just try to be the best friend I can be and I guess that is just not good enough for you. I am so sorry!! I wish you had just talked to me about this!

2 moms found this helpful

The only way you can continure a friendship with this person is to expect nothing. Try enlarging your circle of friends.

2 moms found this helpful

I have a friend like that and I can feel your pain. I made the decision about 3 years ago that I was going to quit being the one to make the friendship work. If she cared at all about the friendship then she would play an active part in it. We didn't talk for about 8 months and then one day I got a phone call with her apologizing for being such a rotten friend. We still don't talk a lot but she does call every now and then. I have a wonderful, beautiful family. They take all my time so I don't have the time or energy to keep up a friendship that someone else doesn't want to be a part of in the first place. I know it's hard to let go. It doesn't mean that you don't care for her anymore but if she doesn't want to be friends anymore then it is her loss. Luckily you have a husband and 2 beautiful children to make your life complete...you don't need her bringing you down. Good luck with this!

2 moms found this helpful

Good morning A.. It sounds like your "best friend" really isn't a friend. This sort of behavior just isn't friend-like. I knew a gal like that once upon a time - it was not a good thing. It may be a control issue. Obviously this lady is not dependable and seems to follow a path of "toxic friendship" You need to ask yourself, are you better off with or without her? If she constantly hurts you and blows you off, I suspect you already know the answer. How about your other friends? You may want to consider looking more to them for true friendship. Good luck honey - I know it's not a comfortable path to travel, but sometimes we need to make decisions that hurt at first, but turn out for the better.

2 moms found this helpful

It's easy to take things personal when they aren't meant to be. Misunderstandings have ruined many friendships. Is it possible for you to gently talk to your friend and let her know this concerns you? Maybe you could write her a letter in a non-accusatory manner and let her know your friendship is important to you, but that you are concerned and need to know if there is something that you could change to help the friendship grow? If not, just give her some time and space. It may not be you that is the problem at all.

1 mom found this helpful

I know it would be hard but you should stop inviting her out with you. I had to do that with my best friend b/c she was doing the same thing to me. You could try inviting some other friends out with you. I hope things work out for you. Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful

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