My Baby Is an Extremely Light Sleeper

Try adding another "constant". aka something that doesn't change when you get up.

With you in the bed he feels the bed, temperature, & you. He hears you breathing, & him breathing. As soon as you get up though the bed moves, the temperature cools, & you're gone. Yikes!!! Sounds like he's supersensitive. What really hit me was "within minutes" comment. If he doesn't wake up when the bed moves, it looks like he does once the other things being absent are noted...like the sheets cool.

What worked for us (and what eventually trained my son from being a super-light sleeper to a baby/kid who can sleep through a marching band was 3 things:

- His Blankie
- Music at night
- Giving up on being quiet.

The last one was the most important for us. <Laughing> Actually, to this day he's still really suspicious if we try to leave "sneaky-like"...but he had this honed to a science as a baby/young child. However, if we just got up (not carefully, other then not to squish him), walked out & shut the door and went about normal activities (talking, laughing, washing dishes, watching a movie, practicing the guitar, etc.)after the first few nights of him waking up and us putting him back down he slept like a log through everything. We even started to have friends over at night.

The music we played was NPR's jazz/blues station and we just left that on quietly. I'm sure any kind of music would work.

His blankie is something we fostered a dependence of...but it's a great tool, especially for sleep & traveling (of which we do a lot....travel that is...sleep we could use more I'm sure!!!) He's six now, and has been gradually weaning away from it for the past few years. But it was one of those constants. Besides, my personal opinion is that it can in no way hurt a child to have them love MORE. Mum, Da, brothers, sisters, family, pets, blankets, the world around them....to me it's all the same. The more they love the better. I DO know that many people don't feel that way, I actually have a friend who's afraid to give her little one things they can hug and carry around with them because it might mean that she would love Mum less. I mean really! :) Eh. Her own insecurities. How could anyone love their mum less?

In any event, those were what worked for us. I'm sure whatever your choices are will be best for you!!

With hopes for laying in the arms of Morpheus!!
Z.

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Lisbeth,
I believe that you can still be a great Mom without cosleeping and your baby can grow up to be just as well adjusted! It might just be that your light sleeper needs his own space. I understand that one of the principals of attachment parenting is cosleeping but I believe you can achieve the type of bond you want with your son and not feel as if you are abandoning him by allowing him to sleep on his own. You might just want to try it, of course he might cry a bit because he is not used to it but you stated he eats solids, so I am assuming he is old enough...you know your son and there are different types of crying...as long as he isnt really in distress I say see what happens....Best wishes to you...I think there is no way of getting thru the light sleeping without just putting him down and allowing him to have some space that isnt disturbed or sleep that isnt interupted by your moving? I dont know...what do you think? Trust your gut.

K.

1 mom found this helpful

My son and daughter were just as different. My daughter can still sleep lying right next to me. In fact, she sleeps better if someone else is in the room with her. But my son, even from a few weeks old, wanted to sleep in his own room. I'd rock him at night, but he'd just cry. Yet as soon as I put him in his crib, he'd settle right down and go to sleep. He wanted to be left alone.

Now that I think about it, I was the same! My mom like co-sleeping, but I wouldn't do it. She had to put me in the crib. Very funny!

Just go with your little one's flow. He may need to sleep on his own.

1 mom found this helpful

I think white noise is really the answer for you. A fan, or space heater, static on the radio or a white noise machine. I am having problems with my three month old. I put him in his cradle next to my bed. It seems as if when he is laying by me he wants to nurse all night. In his own bed and with the machine he has been waking up less at least.

It sounds like your son needs his own space. We don't co-sleep on a regular basis, but I bring my son into our bed (he is 18months now) when he is having trouble sleeping (usually teething related). While he gets comfort from being close to us, he simply cannot fall into a deep sleep in our bed. He will roll and toss and turn like crazy, even when almost fully asleep. I have learned that it works best to have him with us till he is calm and drowsy and then put him back in his own bed. I think some kids just feel better with their own beds. Why not try a co-sleeper bed that attaches to yours? That way, he will have his own space, but still be within arms reach. We are expecting our second in March, and that is what I am planning to do.

You have to teach him some way to comfort himself, then life will get much better.

I'm with Annie-My son did the same thing! Now he is 10months but at an early age he wanted his own space now. We held him 24/7 most of the time in the early months.

I'm torn between him not having a good bond from the beginning bc I had a c-section w/ no family close by etc. or the fact that he likes his own space. Whatever it is for him know it won't last forever even though it seems like it will. I got so sick of people saying oh by 6 months he'll sleep and whammo 5 1/2 months he was snoozing. He still is a light sleeper regarding noise and movement. He can hear a tack downstairs from his crib upstairs.
Sorry so rambling It's 4 am and my son needed a little bottle

PS get a fan but not in room like outside the door so you can control and it doesn't freeze him out and a CD player of sleepy music! really helps. I didn't do the fan thing till later wish I new about it.
Lynelle

Time for baby to sleep alone. Maybe in your own room, but definitely alone. It will be easier for both of you. When you lay him down, put him on a warm "raggy" or burp rag that smells of you and that is warm. He will fill he is still next to you. Amazingly it works. He is just a very sensitive child. You need to work on smoothing out his environment now. Later you will need to desensitize him in small steps so that he does not over react to events.

Hi, Lisbeth-
we co-slept with my daughter as well. She was a preemie and it just worked out best that way. However, my daughter never was a good sleeper and, like your son, she would wake up with every little nuance of movement-- or noise. I never could get up in the middle of the night to go to the potty without her waking up crying. So... two things that seemed to work for us: 1) I got a sound machine and put the white noise on. 2) I pulled out the crib we were given and hadn't used, took one side off and made it into a co-sleeper by straddling it next to our bed. Of course, you have to have enough room in your bedroom to do this, which we did. I would breastfeed our little one to sleep and then roll her slowly over onto the crib. She took a little while to get used to this, but it worked. I could move more freely about the bed without fear of waking her. She slept more soundly and I was still right there when she needed me.

I hope you find a good solution soon. I know what it is like to be sleep deprived and it isn't fun for anyone. Best of luck to you!

I really wanted to co-sleep with my daughter when she was born and we did for the first 3 weeks while I was breastfeeding. However, after I stopped BF (due to my own health issues) I found that she just wouldn't sleep well in bed with us. I had to get up to make her bottles and after eating she wouldn't settle down. We ended up getting one of the Arms Reach co-sleepers and used that next to the bed for 5 months. It worked great with her swaddled she slept much better (and so did we). It turns out now that she is 13m she just isn't a super snuggly baby, never was. She wants to sleep in her crib in her own room and even when sick she won't sleep with us, I usually sleep on the futon in her room if I feel I need to be close to her. Some kids just aren't co-sleepers, no matter how much we want them to be.

I also agree with the previous poster that mentioned a lovey blanket. When we put our daughter in her own crib/room at around 5m old (she was sleeping through the night so we decided we wanted out room back) I started putting a Carters lovey-bear blanket in her crib with her. I didn't think much of it and for the first week or so she didn't seem to pay much attention to it. Then I would come in in the morning and she would be playing with it. One day I put it in the wash because she had spit up on it, then went to put her down for her nap. She just would NOT settle down and she is usually a great napper. Finally after 2 trips in to try and calm her down I saw that bear sitting on the wash pile. I grabbed it, spit up and all, and took it in to her. She hugged it, layed down, stuck her thumb in her mouth and almost immediately went to sleep. Now she can't sleep without it, but I don't mind because it helps SO much to calm her down. She always has a lovey bear that is familiar and helps her sleep away from home. One thing I would recommend is to get 2 bears or loveys if you can. We have a blue one (the main bear) and a pink one that is a back up. She is more attached to the blue one, but uses the pink one at grandmas or if the blue on is in the wash and she seems to sleep fine with it. We also keep it mostly just for bedtime, not carrying it around all the time. Though she does occasionally go into her room and pull it out from her crib if I forget to shut the door. I did let her carry it around when she was sick.

I have a very light sleeper too. She was in her own crib for the first 6 mos. and it was terrible because she would wake a lot and I was getting NO sleep. We started co-sleeping and she still wakes but less often and goes back to sleep easier. Sometime nurses back to sleep, sometimes just looks around then back to sleep. I agree with Zoe A. A blanket really helped, so did some kind of constant noise. She is 15 mos. and still a light sleeper but getting better and better at just putting herself back to sleep. Good luck!

It could just be the need for touch. After reading a lot of the other replies, many are premies or c-section babies and have a sense of touch immaturity. Swaddling a younger baby works well or a cocoon/sleeping bag set-up may help.