20 answers

My Autistic Son Is Scared of Hair Cuts

I need some ideas. My 3 year old boy is autistic. He is, and always has been, absolutely scared of getting his hair cut. One person has to hold him down or put him in a headlock while the other uses the clippers to buzz his hair as fast (and safely) as possible. no, he doesn't tolerate scissors. It's traumatic for everyone, and with him now being 40 lbs, he's stronger when he fights back. It's hard for the person cutting with him trying to thrash around and throw his head back. I am at a loss, and don't know what else to do. I've tried going to a fancy kids parlor, having my dad buzz his hair in front of a favorite movie or a mirror, offering snacks during hair cuts, singing songs, nothing helps. He freaks out. He's doesn't say any words, so it's not like we can talk to each other about how he feels. If anyone has experience or advice for this please share. Thanks.

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My Autistic son, now 12, was a NIGHTMARE at haircut time. We tried not to use the clippers because they terrified him, but he hated the scissors too. We would end up me with a cape on sitting and holding him with a cape on and just doing the best we could. (I would then have to go home an shower both of us after being covered in hair and sweat from the exertion!!) We finally found a place that caters to kids called Shear Maddness. They had video games or movies at each station and he loved movies. It got much better after we found that place. I am so thankful that my younger son did not have this issue. He wasn't a perfect angel for haircuts, but he was nothing like his big brother.

2 moms found this helpful

I don't how well he sleeps, but I would learn to do cutting hair and I would do it while he's asleep. If you only get part of it -it's ok. I think as long as it's out of his eyes that would be the most important. If his hair is a bit long, I don't think anyone would mind.

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My DS has autism and he was just like your son when it came to haircuts. He also has very sensitive skin (hates clothing labels, has to wear loose fitting shirts, etc) so he could literally feel the hair falling onto the back of his neck when we first attempted to cut it so that drove him insane! We just let it go and decided it wasn’t worth the battle. He was 3 and his hair had gotten long and it was a very HOT summer. At this point I decided it would take something that he really loved to get him to let me cut his hair. I put a cape over him, doused his neck with baby powder, took him outside (he loved the outdoors, calmed him), sat him in his little camping chair, gave him a plastic bowl filled with whipped cream and chocolate syrup and let him go to town. While he had both his hands in the bowl making a huge mess having a great time, I slowly/gently started to trim his hair. I was able to cut the back, sides and front without a problem. Once I was done I had him look in a mirror and I told him over and over how handsome he looked and because he did SUCH a great job I would take him wherever he wanted for the day! He was so excited and he couldn’t WAIT to show Daddy how his hair looked.

Then I said to him “see? That wasn’t so bad was it??” He said no it was easy =-)

After that getting his hair cut became less of an issue but he still wanted his bowl of whipped cream. He’s 5 now and doesn’t need the bowl of cream anymore. He just isn’t afraid anymore.

Just wanted to share my story =-)

7 moms found this helpful

Here's an article with 20 tips (not sure if there might be something you haven't tried):
http://www.thecutekid.com/parent-resources/austism-tantru...
My friend's little boy did better when someone came to their house to do it.
Can his hair just be longer/ewer haircuts per year?

3 moms found this helpful

My completely "normal"-just a little speech delayed-soon to be 4 year old is the exact same. He also is the same when it comes to washing his hair and cutting his nails. I'm sorry I have no advice but I just wanted you to know you are not alone. The only solution we have it to only cut it every other month.

2 moms found this helpful

My Autistic son, now 12, was a NIGHTMARE at haircut time. We tried not to use the clippers because they terrified him, but he hated the scissors too. We would end up me with a cape on sitting and holding him with a cape on and just doing the best we could. (I would then have to go home an shower both of us after being covered in hair and sweat from the exertion!!) We finally found a place that caters to kids called Shear Maddness. They had video games or movies at each station and he loved movies. It got much better after we found that place. I am so thankful that my younger son did not have this issue. He wasn't a perfect angel for haircuts, but he was nothing like his big brother.

2 moms found this helpful

S.,

My 3 y/o daughter is not autistic but has ALWAYS been horrible when it comes to haircuts. We too went to fancy kids haircutting places (which are production based), triing to trim it at home, all you've done. Does your son get occupational therapy? If so, your OT can work with him as well as showing you ways to get him used to someone cutting his hair. My daughter went through a period of not wanting anyone to touch her hair, even brushing it was a huge struggle. She hated the sensation when I brushed her hair. BUT, she got better with it, we worked through it. I'd look to your OT (if you have one) for suggestions in this. I wish you were in the Chicago area, because I lucked out and found a WONDERFUL woman who specializes and is fantastic with kids with autism & any child who's just terrified of haircuts. This was the ONLY place I found we can go, and my daughter is actually improving. Try googling children's hair salons that cater to special needs kids, you may find something nearby. Good luck to you, and I hope you find a solution that is more comforting to your son.

2 moms found this helpful

I don't how well he sleeps, but I would learn to do cutting hair and I would do it while he's asleep. If you only get part of it -it's ok. I think as long as it's out of his eyes that would be the most important. If his hair is a bit long, I don't think anyone would mind.

2 moms found this helpful

My son was the same way until just recently (he's 7 now). He still has some anxiety when it comes time to get his hair cut but is better able to tolerate it now. Here are the tricks that worked for us:

* Don't say anything about him getting a hair cut in front of him. Children with ASD are literal thinkers and "cuts" hurt, therefore hair cuts must hurt also. It's okay to tell him that he is getting his hair trimmed or you are taking him to get his hair shortened but never a hair cut.

* Bring one of your husband's shirts or t-shirts to use as your son's cape. Those black smocks cause my son to have a gag reflex each and everytime. Shirts and t-shirts are less claustrophobic and more familiar. You can even have him chose which shirt he wants to use so that he can feel like he has more control over the situation.

* Bring a kid-sized chair for your son to sit in during the appointment. Those big chairs that go up and down are frightening for most kids who have SPD and body awareness issues.

* Have the hairstylist talk to your son in very simple terms before she does anything to your son. If she is using clippers, have her explain that the clippers sound like buzzing bees (if you don't think that will scare him) and let him touch and hold the clippers while they are on before they go anywhere near his head. He may not be able to talk just yet but, hopefully, his receptive vocabulary is good enough to grasp what she (and you) is trying to explain to him. But it is very important not to surprise him with sudden moves or not explain what is going on.

* Whatever his interest is, you will have to use it to redirect his attention during the appointment. For my son, it was animals and spelling. During the "hair trim," I kept my hands firmly but gently in my son's lap to keep him from getting up and talk to him about animals and how to spell their names (e.g., "c-o-w," "r-a-b-b-i-t"). He wasn't completely distracted but he was just enough so that the hairstylist was able to hustle through the trim.

* Reward him for his good behavior during the appointment. Talk to him about it before you even step foot in the salon and make sure that it is something that is a really, really special treat/toy that he doesn't have access to usually. Really sell it to him. If you need to, bring the toy or a picture of whatever the reward is going to be with you to the appointment so that you can have it there to remind him of what's waiting for him after the appointment.

* Of course, your son's objections are a sensory issue and frustration/confusion issue. If you are working with an OT about his SPD (hopefully you are), then talk to the OT about this because they are a great resource for information and kid-friendly solutions.

As I had mentioned, my son is 7 now and it wasn't until this last year when we stopped having major drama at each hair appointment. He still has a lot of anxiety when we go in for our hair appointment but I've found a wonderful hair stylist who knows how to relate to him and is patient and calm (two very important things). She's also young and pretty and I've found that my son really is more cooperative with girls that he thinks are cute. And there are a number of other reasons why he's doing better with hair trims now (OT, maturity, familiarity with the whole process).

Hopefully this will give you some ideas on how to troubleshoot the whole process and will take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Wishing you and your son all the best. Take care.

2 moms found this helpful

I would let it grow out for awhile and see if he can tolerate it when he gets older. Why traumatize the kid over something as dumb as hair?

1 mom found this helpful

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