My Almost 5 Month Old Still Not Sleeing Thru the Night!!

Let him cry himself to sleep. He is only getting up for comfort. Its tought to do but shut his bedroom door and yours and of course you will wake up but let him cry it out. He will be alright and in a few days he will be sleeping through the night. Good luck

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All good advice. I am a mom to a little girl who was a preemie. I was told she would be behind on everything. She did not sleep through the night until I helped her along after her 6 1/2 month birthday. I was at my witts end. I work full time and need to get sleep. I didnt want to ignore her needs, but at the same time, I wanted her to learn to self-calm and put herself back to sleep.

I read a very interesting article that to me, made a ton of sense. It said that everyone, adult, child, elderly, animals, etc... go through cycles of sleep. At the end of each cycle, we wake up. Some of us get up and go to the bathroom. Some of us turn over in bed or rearrange our pillows and go right back to sleep. Babies - typcially do not know how to self-calm themselves to go back to sleep. So they holler for mom and dad to come help them. They arent really hungry, though I can eat... But they know mom/dad will give them a bottle and the sucking motion will calm me and I will go back to sleep. The theory is if you teach them to self-calm, they will get themselves back to sleep. But how?

Night 1
When they wake up - go in and without touching them, show them you're there and that everything is all right. Shhhh - go to sleep little one. Mommy and daddy love you. good night. and walk away.

They will cry. wait 5 minutes and go in again. Dont touch, dont say anything, just stand and show support. and walk away.

They will cry. wait 10 minutes and go in again. Keep this up until they fall asleep.

Night 2
Same as night 1, except wait longer like 10 minutes before you go in the first time.

Make the intervals longer.

Night 3
Same as night 2, except wait longer like 15 minutes before you go in the first time.

The author swore that by night 4, it wouldnt be an issue any longer.

For us, Shelby didnt need a night 3. She slept through night 3. She slept through night 4 and so on.

There are nights she wakes up and because its infrequent, I go to her. I try not to feed her though. I just cuddle and rock for 5 minutes to help her calm to get back to sleep. But for the most part, she now self-calms back to sleep.

In my opinion, this method reinforced to Shelby that momma and daddy were there for her and she can trust us, but taught her to put herself back to sleep as well. Now when she wakes up in the morning, instead of screaming/crying to get attention, we wake up to her playing with her kick piano, or her toes and a smile.

Good luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful

I, personally, would never ever ever let my child cry it out. Maybe he is having nightmares or is overtired. Maybe he is hungry. Maybe he clenches his jaw at night and it causes ear (TMJ) pain. There are sooo many things that can be going on.

Not to mention that 5-6 months old is growth-spurt time when lots of things in his little body are changing and growing. He's getting ready to start eating solids and having a bigger appetite, etc. along with cutting teeth.

Have you considered co-sleeping? My daughter could not self-soothe and bringing her to bed allowed her to wake briefly without crying, see that I was there and fall back asleep. We both slept better for it.

Also, for the record, babies aren't designed to sleep through the night- their tummies are TINY and need filling quite often. They need comforting, etc etc.

AND- though it's not helpful, but just a side-note- my own daughter did not sleep through the night until she was 4 YEARS old.

There are some homeopathic teething tablets by Hylands (look at Meijer or Target) that are supposed to help with teething pain that you might also try instead of Tylenol, etc.

A.

Every child is different. My son did not sleep through the night until he was almost a year. I know it seems like it lasts forever, but in retrospect it doesn't seem like that long and they are only this little once. I successfully night weaned him around that age using the ideas in this book http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Gentle-Throug...
but I didn't do it until I was certain that he wasn't really hungry, he was just waking up out of habit because he knew I would take him to bed with me (at this point he was only waking once a night). I survived working full time and dealing with this...and yes, I was a zombie, but it goes by fast. If your intuition tells you that he is truly hungry then I would probably grin and bear it, but if you think he is just doing it out of habit or because he misses you, you can try some of the techniques in that book. Also I started to learn the difference between his "I REALLY need you" cry and the "I woke up and I don't want to be awake" or "I'm bored" cry and learned when to let him cry for a bit and he would settle back down on his own. Good luck!

Hi Jenny,

I'm glad that I'm not the only Mom going through this with a 5-month old!! My little boy is right on schedule with yours - goes to bed around 8pm, then he's up to feed around 11.30pm, and then again around 3am-ish. We have him in a co-sleeper, so at least it's a little easier in that I don't have to get out of bed to feed him. My Ped told me that that is normal for his age and nothing to worry about. It could be the teething as my DS is going through this too. Hang in there! I feel your pain, but it WILL get better :)

Hello..I would say no naps in the day and keep him real busy...runnung around,playing,etc..hope it helps:)...have a good day:)

Neither of my girls slept through until 10mo. and still woke occassionally, heck still wake..last night my oldest, 3, was up from 12-1. It will pass with time. I know you are tired but it is only a short season your child goes through. Someday you won't even remember this.

Good Luck
K.

Dont get overly concerned with the fact that your son isn't sleeping through the night yet. My son didn't sleep through the night until he was 9 months old. I also have a friend whose baby is 10 months old and she still gets up at least once a night to feed her. So it really just depends on the baby. It isn't anything you are or are not doing. Hang in there!!!

Hi there,
Every child is different but I would talk to your doctor...if your baby boy is eating enough during the day then there should be no reason to feed him during the night. I've been told that you're simply creating a schedule for them that they continue to follow until you break them of it, your doctor can confirm but when he wakes up at 11:30, I would try simply giving him a pacifier and rocking him back to sleep. I make a point to feed my fourth month old every three hours during the day (even if this means having to wake him up from a nap) and he has been sleeping 9 hours (from 7/7:30 pm until between 4 and 5 am) straight since he was 3 months. I think the key is changing his habits and making sure he's eating enough during the day. Like I said, check with your doc, they'll be able to confirm. Good luck!

I agree with Kim, but it's up to each individual to find what style works for them the best.

Jenny,
I'm in the same boat but my son will be 6 mnths on the 12th. I too am exhausted from this and also working 50+ hrs a week. My almost 3 yrs old also slept thru the night very early on, I think before 10 weeks. So don't feel like you did something wrong I have just came to the conclusion they are all so different and when he is ready he will do it....but until then I will be tired and just try and get thru it.
Hope this helps....

K.

Have you tried putting him down later? My husband and I tried putting our daughter down at 8:30 and it wasn't working, so we started putting her down around 9 and she's sleeping by 10:00. Some nights she sleeps through till about 4:30 - 5:30 am and other nights she will wake around 2:30 for a pacifier. She's a week shy from turning 5 months old. Some people have babies that naturally sleep through the night and then there are some parents that will try the cry-it-out method, which I'm personally not a big fan of, but everyone's got to do what works for them. FYI, my daughter as also been teething for almost a month now and I do think that it's related. Good luck! Let me know if you get any good tips that work.

I couldn't bring myself to do the cry-it-out, and night weaning worked for us. It's more work the first couple of nights because you have to teach him to fall back asleep without nursing. I held, rocked and bounced him to sleep with his pacifier and blanket instead of nursing. He protested the first night, less the second and so on, but I felt better about the whole thing because he was in my arms instead of alone in his room. I think it's easier to tackle sleeping issues one at a time, and night feeding is just one step.

As long as your baby is growing well, and it's okay with your Dr., you shouldn't have to feed your little guy at night. The goal is for him to be sleeping anyway, right? He wouldn't be getting those nursings in if he were sleeping. I had to keep that in mind when the thoughts of "but what if he's really hungry right now?" kept repeating in my head.

Good luck to you!

Don't feel to bad my first son did not sleep thru the night til he was 15 months. My second son is now 11 months and he still is waking up one to two times a night. When they are ready to sleep thru the night they will. Until then, us moms will walk around sleep deprived.
hang in there

Jenny:

everyones sleep pattern is different. for an infant sleeping is part of the neuromuscular development... so it may well be that your son is not ready developmentally to sleep for a longer time stretch.

"though the night" is meaningless... everyones "night" is different.

Add teething/ add development and that the mind replays what happens in our day while we are sleeping and you can see that there are a multitude of things that cause us ( adults and children but probably more so children) to wake at night.

You have not done something wrong or missed something....

If you bring your son into your room within arms reach of you it may enable you to sleep longer and for him to return to sleep more quickly when he wakes.

P., RLC, IBCLC
Pres. Lactation Support Group, Inc
www.lactationsupportgroup.com

Any chance your son is a very small baby? My daughter was at the 3% for weight and 25% for height and the pediatrician said she just didn't have a big enough stomach to sleep more than 5 hours without getting hungry. She is now 18 months and is sleeping 10 hours in a row.

Good luck and I hope you find a solution!

Keep in mind that when you read "sleep through the night" most books are talking about sleeping 6 hours at a stretch. So your boy is actually close to sleeping "through the night". But yes, don't worry about him - all kids are different. My 12 month old sleeps 8-10 hours at a stretch, but since he goes to bed at 7 pm that still means he's up for a snack around 3-4 AM.

If you're nursing him every time he wakes up you might consider just nursing him when it's one of his "regular" times - like just once around 1 AM or whenever he wakes then. Other times (when you know he's not hungry) you can send your husband in to settle him - this is helpful because he will not be expecting a meal from Dad. This also allows you to get up only once during the night instead of multiple times. Believe me - you'll feel so much better rested if YOU only get up once instead of 2-3 times. Also, if he's eating too much during the night he might be waking because his diaper is wet and uncomfortable.

Also, how long do you let him fuss before going in? Give him a good 5 minutes and he may surprise you by going back to sleep. You can usually tell after a few minutes whether he's going in the right - or the wrong - direction with his fussing. When you or your husband DO go in if you're not planning to nurse him then, do NOT take him out of the crib - put a hand on him, sing him a song, tuck him in, and kiss him goodnight and leave. He will probably put on a big show when you leave and make you feel terrible but he will probably also fall right asleep a minute later. Good luck

I may not be the best person to give advice but my son didn't until he was 12 months. He was, however, a good sleeper. He slept great for naps and he would go to bed at 6:30PM and usually wake at 3AM, and then at 6AM for the day. He would get 8-9 hours of sleep before he woke so that is pretty great I think. Sleeping through the night is not a milestone. If you are exhausted ask your husband to help out so you can get a full nights sleep. People can give you advice but it depends on your parenting style. Are you okay with crying it out or do you comfort on demand? Once you know that you will know which route to go. For me I didn't mind and I worked also. Good luck with this and really ask your hubby to help since you are so tired...exhausted ;)

You will probably get advice all across the board!.... my first thought was to try putting him down earlier.... Trying 15minutes earlier then the previous night until you get closer to 7pm. This approach is based onHealthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Children by Weisbluth. At this point you might as well try each thing and see what works best for your son.

Good Luck! and keep trying...I am sure you are doing a great job!

HI. Sorry that you are going through this...I too went through this.lol Is your son napping during the day? Sometimes night wakefulness is due to being overtired.

Just wanted to say I have a 9 month old. Since I work full time, I am ok with keeping him up until 9:30 or 10 because I only get to see him between 6pm-10pm...he stays up that late and then sleeps until between 6:30-8:30...we try to give him a bottle 10-20 mins before he goes to sleep. I was giving him a bottle when he woke up for a while, but then one night I just held him and rocked him and he fell back asleep without needing it...that was HUGE because shortly thereafter I found that I could just go in there, pop the pacifier back in his mouth, and then he'd fall back asleep. Now, he can put it back in his own mouth and he sleeps from 9:30-8:00ish.
Please don't place blame: I know VERY few babies that sleep through the night at 6 months (although there ARE some over-achievers :) )
Maybe slow down on the medicine: my boyfriend always wanted to give him Tylenol/Mortin to get him back to sleep--it is tempting because the medication can make them drowsy and sleep longer--but I found that just doing the above (rocking etc.) will do it without introducing foreign "stuff" into his system. Obviously, though, you know your child best and this might be the only way to ease the pain of teething...just a thought.